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Has That Always Been There? · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
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What You Wish For
“So, what’s it going to be?”

Spike didn’t react; he barely gave any sign of having acknowledged the words from the mare across the table.

“What are you up to now, Glimmer?” he asked her back.

Starlight let out a light chuckle as she shot him a half-lidded stare. In all of this, she didn’t betray her façade, nor did she give Spike any sign that she was bluffing.

“Oh, Spike. Your words hurt me.” Starlight leaned forward, never breaking eye contact with the young dragon. “Have the years passed in vain? Are there still any lingering doubts in your mind about me?”

“I don’t know, should there be?” Spike shot back at her without missing a beat.

This time, Starlight laughed heartily, but Spike could still make out an edge in her tone. She looked down for a moment as she took a deep breath. The orange light of the lamp next to them cast a glow over her, making her stand out against the near total darkness of the room.

“It’s not the first time we’ve danced this piece, Starlight, and almost every time I’ve agreed I ended up regretting it,” he said in a careful, measured tone and yet they both knew there was a hint of eagerness in his voice. And she knew to take advantage of it.

“There you go, ‘almost’, you said it yourself, Spike. Are you telling me you’re too scared to take a chance?”

That did the trick, judging by his reaction. She saw a gentle flickering in the dragon’s eyes, a flame of pride. A literal one, too, if the puff of smoke coming from his nostrils was any indication.

“You should know better than to try to taunt me,” Spike said, remaining as stoic as he could.

“I don’t know, should I?” Starlight replied as she rested her head on her hooves, smiling.

“You’re a riot,” Spike deadpanned.

“Enough tarrying and dallying. I made you a simple proposition.” She crossed her forelegs behind her head and leaned back in her chair. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of it.”

“And I don’t know how you can be so casual about it,” Spike said, taking this as his chance to push. “You know how easily this could backfire for me.”

Starlight still awaited a response, although she could feel her smile was less pronounced. This didn’t go unnoticed by Spike, who probably didn’t expect to get to her. If that was the case, then he didn’t seem keen on letting this opportunity go to waste.

“That’s a very selfish thing to do, Starlight. Twi would be devastated if she found out you’re behaving in such an unfriendly way,” Spike said.

“Please, you would have me believe you’d go to Twilight over such a trivial matter? You’re not a baby anymore,” Starlight shot back, not willing to give up.

“And you think Twilight wouldn’t listen to me? You know she’s always willing to—”

“Oh, that’s enough.” Starlight clapped her hooves together. She wasn’t going to budge so easily. “I made you a simple offer, and I can just as easily take it back.”

Spike’s lips contorted into an uncomfortable grimace; Starlight, for her part, was smiling again.

“That got your attention, didn’t it?” Starlight asked, and Spike’s reluctance to respond only served to widen her grin. “I don’t know what ulterior motive you believe I have, Spike. I honestly didn’t mean anything more than what I said to you earlier.”

And there she went, taking control of the situation once again with such ease. It was nice to know she still had that ability to effortlessly steer a conversation in whichever direction she desired.

“Tick tock, Mister ‘The Dragon’. There’s a limit to my magnanimity,” Starlight said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Spike took a deep breath, and then another one. He seemed... unsure, as far as Starlight could notice; he was probably deep in thought, pondering what the right decision should be, or if there even was a right decision to make.

“So, what’s it going to be?”

He beat his claws rhythmically against the wooden table while she kept smiling that mischievous smile. A smile that seemed friendly at first glance, but still showed her teeth. She was enjoying this.

As the dragon remained silent, Starlight tried to imagine what thoughts could be crossing his mind. She pictured him going through every possible outcome, doing his best to focus on the few where he would benefit.

Starlight raised an eyebrow, all without breaking her grin. She had him in her hooves, and they both knew it. But Spike wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of winning this easily, would he? No, if he was going to go down, he wouldn’t go without a fight.

“I’m not giving you Atlantic Avenue,” he huffed as he sat back.

“Oh, come on,” Starlight said, abandoning her playful bravado as though a switch had been flipped in her mind. She slammed her hoof down on the table, causing the board and little plastic pieces to rattle.

“I’m not doing it. You already own most of the properties on that side of the board,” Spike said, pointing at the differently coloured cards the mare had in front of her.

“I’m offering you Water works and the Eastern Railroad for it,” Starlight said as she idly twirled the dice with her magic.

“Nope,” Spike said, and proceeded to make an act out of counting his money.

Starlight let out a whimper of mock-sadness, as a puppy asking for a treat, when she looked at the small mounds of bills the dragon had. Most of which were low denomination.

“Why keep so much change?” she asked.

“I want to delude myself into believing the amount of bills make up for how little money I actually have.”

“I thought greed was bad for you,” Starlight said.

“You’re the one who insisted we play this,” Spike said, giving her an unamused stare.

“Well, Twilight said I shouldn’t play Risk again, lest I have another… uh, ‘incident’,” Starlight said with a roll of her eyes.

Spike couldn’t help but snicker at the memory.

“Oh, hush you,” Starlight chided him, and rolled the dice. It wasn’t long until they found themselves falling into the monotony of the game. Round after round passed with neither of them gaining a significant advantage over the other, and yet neither was willing to concede.

“How long has it been?” Spike asked after being sent to jail for the fifth time that night.

“I’d say long enough,” Starlight replied. “Want to forgo crass mercantilism and declare all our properties as free, equal opportunity housing for the populace?”

Spike blinked a couple of times.

Starlight’s smile didn’t falter.

The dragon opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, not sure how to reply.

“It’s a joke,” Starlight said flatly.

“No no, I get that, it’s just, well… you mention it so rarely that I don’t know if I should laugh or not,” Spike said as he scratched the back of his head.

“It’s been almost five years, Spike…” the mare said with clear discomfort in her voice.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Don’t think much of it,” he said, offering his best smile. Which was enough to ease her mind.

Starlight visibly relaxed. “So… What do you say, big guy? Want to wrap this up and go grab a bite?”

“Sounds delightful,” Spike said with a sardonic slur before stacking his cards and bills together and starting to rearrange all the other items of the game back into the box.
Starlight gave a soft chuckle as she levitated the pieces toward him. Not much was said as they worked, but this, Starlight noticed, was now a common occurrence between them: to simply enjoy each other’s company in silence, not because there was nothing to say, but because they didn’t feel the need to talk.

It was, in a way, comfortable. And Starlight liked it. Whether it was due to how frantic life had been for her in previous years or not, the stability she had found in Ponyville as Princess Twilight’s student had given her a new view on just about everything in her life. She had gained new purpose, regained old friends and made new ones.

Sure, life as the undisputed leader of a town where everypony followed her every command may have given her some measure of satisfaction, but it was hollow happiness when compared to the joy derived from the life she now had here. Be it something as grand as partaking in a journey to save Equestria, or something as simple as baking cakes for a party, helping with farm work and animal care, modelling a new dress, serve as a spectator for an impromptu flight show.

Or something as simple as playing a board game with a close friend.

“That should be it,” Spike said, pulling Starlight from her musings.

“Oh! Uh… Good. Shall we get going?” the mare said as she jumped from her seat.

“After you.” Spike motioned for her to go first with a curtsy that made her giggle. Soon enough, they were making their way to the kitchen through the dark corridors of the Crystal Castle, Spike walking by her side with a bright lamp in his grasp.

As they walked, Starlight couldn’t help but throw some furtive glances towards Spike. His growth spurt a few years ago had come as a surprise more to the rest of her friends than to her, since they had known Spike as a baby dragon for longer than she had, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t like it. The young dragon may have been physically different than stallions in quite a number of ways, but Starlight could still appreciate it. Not only could she now talk to him at eye level—even if she had to crane her head a little bit—but in the process of growing into an older dragon he lost most if not all of his baby fat, leaving him with a fit, albeit a bit lean, figure. Not to say she ogled him at every chance she got; just every now and then. She was only equine, after all.

“Anything you’d like?”

“Surprise me,” Starlight said, smiling at him.

Returning the smile, Spike rubbed his claws together and walked around the spacious room, mentally going through the inventory of the pantry. Stopping for a second in front of the fridge, he turned around to face Starlight. “Go take a seat, I’ll make us something quick.”

Starlight obliged and moved to the nearby table to let Spike work. She didn’t know exactly why, but the dragon had an innate ability to cook. During these past years, she had gotten the chance to try delicacies from all over Equestria, and as delicious as they often were, they lacked that extra something she always found in Spike’s dishes. It didn’t matter if it was a simple meal or an elaborate feast; to her nothing tasted as good as Spike’s cooking. And if the scent coming to her nostrils was any indication, this would be no exception.

“What are you making?” Starlight asked him after a few minutes of enduring the alluring aroma.

“Nothing too extravagant. It’s getting late, and I didn’t think we should eat anything heavy, so I made a vanilla pudding with caramelised cherries,” Spike replied as he served the desserts.

“I’d like to try to eat something you consider extravagant,” Starlight teased him.

When he heard her, he stopped as though pondering her words. Before Starlight could ask if anything was wrong, Spike lowered the dishes and blew a gentle stream of sparkling green flames over them.

Ta-da~!” Spike said in a singsong tone as he placed the desserts on the table. The quick exposure to fire had turned the outer layer of pudding into a glistening, golden brown crust. The cherries had burst and were releasing a tantalising smell.

Starlight felt her eyes widen and her mouth salivate at the sight of the dessert. It must have been quite a sight, if Spike’s subdued giggling was anything to go by.

“Pinkie Pie taught me how to do that without burning the whole thing,” he said with a shrug.

“I’ll be sure to thank her,” Starlight replied, taking one of the spoons Spike was offering.

The vanilla pudding with cherries tasted just as good as Starlight imagined it would. It had just the right level of sweetness, but there was something else there. Something she couldn’t pinpoint right away, but with every bite it became more evident.

“Is that… cherry liqueur?” Starlight asked as a sly grin formed on her face.

“Guilty,” Spike said, stuffing another spoonful into his mouth.

“My, my. Are you taking advantage of Twilight’s little trip to the Crystal Empire to be rebellious?” Starlight said playfully.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Spike replied.

“Deal.” Starlight winked at him as she took another scoop of the pudding with a large cherry on top.

“Want to know a secret?” Spike said after cleaning his plate.

“Always,” Starlight said, pushing her equally empty plate away.

“I may even stay up past my bedtime tonight,” he said, puffing out his chest.

They both let out a childish giggle at the silliness of their conversation. Spike then picked up the empty plates and took them to the sink.

If she had to describe how she felt at that moment, Starlight would have to say ‘content’. While today may not have been the most exciting of days—what with seeing Twilight off that morning and then spending the evening in the Castle—there was a comfortable side to it. A day with no pressures where she could just enjoy herself and the company of a friend. She’d come to appreciate this kind of days more and more as time went on. Being the student of a Princess usually made life anything but normal, and between bouts of adventures and quests, having the chance to appreciate the small things in life was akin to a stop at an oasis after an arduous trek through a desert.

Although…

She thought about it for a second. Spike really was one of her best friends, but was that it? She had made friends with Twilight and the rest of the girls quite easily. She and Trixie had become closer with time and to this day they still exchanged letters. And of course she was grateful she had reconnected with Starburst after all those years.

Her relationship with Spike was different, however. Maybe it was due to her spending more time with him than with anypony else. Sure, she’d spend time with Twilight outside of lessons about friendship—and the same was true about the rest of the girls—but seeing how most of her free time was spent inside the castle, she’d naturally gravitated towards the small dragon and as a result she felt closer to him. More at ease with him.

She paused at the thought as she felt a pleasant warmth grow in her chest. She highly valued her friendship with him, and wondered how far could that friendship go in the future. She wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise it, but perhaps she could find out much he valued her friendship in turn and then… It was a silly idea, but…

“The dishes are done,” Spike said, returning to the table, “what should we do now?”

“Would you like to go out with me?” Starlight said nonchalantly.

The world seemed to come to a stop. The kitchen fell absolutely silent after the echo of Starlight’s words faded away. Spike’s features softened as his brain interpreted the meaning of the question the mare made.

Starlight’s mind, meanwhile, was occupied by a loud, uninterrupted scream.

What the—What did I just say? Starlight thought. I meant in the future, not right now! Why did I just blurt that out?!

Her face retained her smile, not because she was trying to remain calm, but because her brain had turned itself off in shock. Seeing how there was no way of backing out of what she just said that didn’t involve time travel, she just had to hope he would take this in stride and, should it come to it, let her down gently.

Sure, things would be awkward between them for a while, but friends could work it out, right? She just had to think of some way of playing it off, maybe apologise for making things uncomfortable, and share a laugh afterwards. That, however, was a considerably difficult task, seeing how all of her focus went toward berating herself in a language more colorful than Ponyville’s market on a busy afternoon.

Forcing herself to regain control of her body, Starlight blinked a couple of times and looked around the room, anywhere except at the dumbfounded dragon across the table.

“I—” She tried to start.

“Sure,” Spike blurted out almost simultaneously.

Starlight’s gaze focused back on Spike, and while he still looked as shocked as he did a few seconds ago, the corners of his mouth appeared to be turned slightly upwards.

“Wait… you mean…?”

“Yeah! I mean… yes, yes I would like that,” Spike said. She didn’t imagine it. He really was smiling.

That, she didn’t expect.

“Y… you…” She swallowed. This was hard to process. “Do you mean it?”

“Of course! Of course I do,” Spike replied, his smile growing with each word. Suddenly, his eye twitched. “Did… did you mean it?”

Part of her mind was still too busy coming to terms with her outburst—and the other was too busy celebrating Spike’s acceptance—But even amidst the flurry of emotions, one thing was clear. She meant what she said. Besides, it wasn’t as though she’d never entertained the thought. But she was always quick to dismiss it as impulsive whims after an evening of reading together, or making a mess in the kitchen, or catching a glimpse of him after he got out of the shower—

Oh no, Glimmer. Not now. Focus, she chided herself.

“I did. Celestia, of course I did,” Starlight said, and in admitting it to herself she allowed a smile to cross her face.

“Alright,” Spike said, and clapped his claws together. “It’s official, then.”

“I think it is,” Starlight said between giggles.

The celebration was cut short by the distant ringing of a bell somewhere deep in the castle, signaling the arrival of midnight.

“Huh… It really is late,” Starlight noted.

“Real estate dealing and property trading has its way of making time fly,” Spike said with a smirk.

Starlight let out a short laugh. She was in a laughing mood, she noticed, and not without reason.

“So… What now?” Starlight asked, sounding almost bashful as she came off the rush of adrenaline her confession and acceptance had given her and the implication of what was to come hit her.

“Well… I think it may be a bit too late to, uh, actually go out,” Spike said, shrugging.

He was right, of course. While a day spent inside certainly hadn’t zapped them of their energies, it was already midnight. Why not start fresh come the morning?

A first date. This was all still a bit too much to wrap her mind around. To say she hadn’t expected this turn of events was more than an understatement. She wouldn’t have believed it if anyone had told her that by the end of the day, Spike would be her… her…

…Maybe the semantics could wait for another day. Right now she was lost in the elation of knowing that Spike was at least somewhat interested in her.

“How about calling it a night? We still have a whole day tomorrow,” Starlight said.

“Sure,” Spike said, and then looked down. Even under the dim light of the lamp, Starlight noticed a soft rosy tint spreading over his cheeks. “I guess… I guess I’ll walk you to your room now.”

“I’d like that,” Starlight said as she stepped away from the table and walked towards him.

Maybe it was the lingering nervousness that made her act like a schoolfilly, but she became acutely aware of things she used to pay no mind to. The way she walked, the way she talked, the way she looked at him. She was well aware she was overthinking things, but to be honest, she almost enjoyed it.

“Should we go, Mister ‘The Dragon’?” Starlight asked him in a playful tone.

“After you, Miss Glimmer,” he said, extending his arm for her to hold on to.

Starlight was more than willing to comply with Spike’s act of gallantry, and taking his extended arm with her hoof, they walked out of the kitchen and toward the bedrooms.

As they walked, Starlight wondered if she should do something more than just walk in silence. She thought about resting her head on Spike’s forearm, whisper words of affection, or slip in some nuzzles whenever they took a turn. Such actions were perhaps too soon for the time being—they’d only been technically together for a few minutes, after all—but deep down, a part of her would have liked to try.

There’ll be plenty of time for acting as lovebirds tomorrow, she told herself, just try to enjoy this moment for what’s worth.

And the heat rising in her chest told her it really was worth it.

They eventually made it to her bedroom door, after taking maybe a bit longer than necessary to get there.

“Here we are,” Spike said, letting go of her.

“Here we are,” Starlight said back.

They shared a short laugh at the awkwardness of the situation. They found neither of them had anything to say, but at the same time neither of them wanted to say goodbye. It all had happened so suddenly and so wonderfully, Starlight had to wonder if she hadn’t fallen asleep while playing board games and had dreamed everything up until this point.

“I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow, Spike,” Starlight said as she focused on a very interesting spot of the carpet.

“Guess I’ll see you too,” Spike said as he held his arms close to his body.

He was still very reserved, Starlight realised. Although, if Spike was being honest—and she saw no reason why he shouldn’t—he really seemed to be willing to give a relationship a try. This whole thing had come as a shock even to herself; she could only imagine how Spike was taking it.

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I hope you’ll choose a nice place to take me out to,” Starlight said, a smirk plastered across her face.

Spike’s eyes shot wide open. He stammered a few words incoherently as he tried to save face. All in all, it was rather endearing.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Starlight said with a wink.

“Heh… um, sure,” Spike said. Starlight had to admit, he was kind of cute when he didn’t know what to say. “Goodnight, Starlight.”

“Goodnight, Spike,” she said, leaning on the doorframe. It became apparent that neither wanted to be the first to leave, or for the night to end.

“I’m... I’m sorry, I should be going,” Spike said, waving his claws dismissively.

Maybe, Starlight thought as a smirk appeared on her face, she could liven up the atmosphere somewhat.

“Don’t think you’re going to get a kiss out of me just yet. I don’t kiss on the first date, much less before it,” Starlight said, shooting a wink at the utterly shocked dragon outside of her room, and closed the door.

She fought to hold back a laugh. Maybe that was too much, but she couldn’t resist teasing him a little bit.

Starlight rested her head against the closed door, thinking about how much things had changed over the past half hour. Maybe being a bit impulsive every now and then wasn’t so bad. It certainly worked out fine this time. Spontaneity was supposed to help relationships, wasn’t it? She’d have to talk to Spike about it sometime.

The corners of her lips curled upwards, turning her already goofy grin into a joyful, unabashed smile. She knew she was being foalish, but she couldn’t help allowing herself a moment of pure happiness. She really hoped this stroke of good luck would work. They could make it work, they were both adults. Who could give them a hard time for—

Starlight’s eyes opened as wide as saucers as her train of thought went off its rails and crashed in an uproarious mess. She took a deep breath, hoping to calm down.

She hoped Twilight wouldn’t mind.




An all-encompassing light dissipated the darkness as Starlight slowly regained consciousness. She blinked once, twice, and by the third time her brain realised she was indeed awake. She stayed there, lying under the blankets, lost in the post-sleep drowse that permeated her mind. Finally, with a yawn and a satisfying stretch, Starlight woke up.

“Good morning, Equestria,” she said with a slur. She then took a deep breath as the last remnants of fogginess faded away. She lay there, smiling and enjoying the warmth of her bed. It was such a pity that she’d have to leave it and go on with her day, though that didn’t mean she couldn’t entertain the thought of sleeping in. Maybe she could ask Spike to make some more of that vanilla pudding with—

The memories of last night rushed back to the front of her mind, and with them, those little bouts of nervousness that had lulled her to sleep.

“Oh…” Starlight whispered to the empty room, shrinking under the covers. She shut her eyes and wrinkled her snout as the nagging voice of her conscience got louder and louder. She wrapped her blankets around her tightly, as if doing so would shield her from the real world and its consequences.

“This is too much to deal with just after waking up,” Starlight mumbled. She gave the blankets a swift kick, sending them away. The blankets, however, weren’t keen on letting her go just yet, seeing how they tangled with her hooves and fell on top of her again.

She let out a long, sustained groan. Why was she getting all flustered over this? What was she, fifteen?

No, you’re not, Starlight. You’re a mare in her mid-twenties who perhaps should start acting her age.

“Nope, not now,” Starlight said, untangling herself from the mess of blankets and duvets and jumping off the bed. With a sigh she started shaking and stretching the blankets.

She was well aware of the source of her fears. It was definitely not Spike, but rather one Twilight Sparkle, who just so happened to be away when Starlight had confessed to said alicorn’s little brother. The little brother who had only very recently turned eighteen years old. She hoped Twilight didn’t get any wrong ideas.

Starlight rolled her eyes as she ran her hooves across the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles with disinterested motions as her mind wandered elsewhere. Twilight would surely understand her situation. Absolutely. Once she explained things, Twilight would be her usual comprehensive self and teach her another friendship lesson regarding trust and honesty.

Most likely scenario.

It was definitely in the cards.

…Maybe it was for the best Twilight wasn’t here for the week.

Another groan escaped her as she finished pretending to fix up her bedsheets. A hot shower could probably help her clear her mind, or at the very least wake her up. If anything it would give her some time to think before she had to go out and face Spike.

Last night she had had no problem with acting coy and alluring as she rode on the coattails of the adrenaline rush her confession gave her, but once she was alone she couldn’t help but wonder why had she been so rash about it.

Starlight let the jet of cold water wash away her thoughts. Most of them, at least. At the forefront of her mind remained the memory of a young dragon, looking at her amidst the darkness of the castle’s kitchen.

She bit her lip. Spike said he would like to go out with her. He meant that, he really was interested in her. She ran her hooves through her mane as she thought back to last night, to the sight of Spike blushing and stumbling on his words as he accepted her foalish request.

Starlight felt that, perhaps, her timing hadn’t been perfect. Far from it, actually. Now that she thought about it, her confession not only had come out of the blue, putting Spike in a tight spot, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she had rushed things.

Giving a drawn-out sigh, Starlight turned off the stream of cold water and stepped of the shower. She idly let her magic guide a towel across her body, drying out her coat and mane.

It wasn’t that she regretted confessing, seeing how it all worked out well in the end. It was more the specific timing of her confession that she felt could have been pulled off better. She could have tried to set up a better environment to drop the question, ease both of them into a romantic mood and then try to bring up the topic. Of course, that implied her confession hadn’t been an outburst brought forth by the stirring feelings inside of her.

She buried her head in the towel, not willing to face even to the empty bathroom.

“Pull yourself together, Glimmer,” she said, taking deep breaths. “Everything’s going to be alright, just you wait and see.”

Starlight grabbed a nearby comb and started working on her mane as she repeated those words over and over to herself. Maybe she just needed to stop obsessing over it so much. What was done was done, and she was not going to argue with the results. Whatever the ramifications of her actions, she’d deal with them as they came.

With a final shake of her mane to let her hair hang just the way she liked it, Starlight trotted towards the door with confidence in her step. She was going to get out there and have a great day, the greatest she’d had in her life so far, and she was going to have it alongside her beautiful whatever-she’d-end-up-calling-him, Spike.

With a triumphant stride, Starlight opened the door of her bedroom, and quickly lost her bravado as she saw the startled young dragon standing in the hallway.

“Spike!” Starlight half-said, half-yelled as she took a step back in surprise.

“Starlight!” Spike said, reacting much in the same way Starlight had. He was quicker to recover his composure, however, and after clearing his throat, he spoke again. “Uh, good morning.”

“Good… good morning, Spike,” Starlight replied, and she could feel the blood rushing to her face, a clear contrast to how she acted last night when they said their goodbyes. “Were you waiting outside my door?”

Spike suddenly became very rigid, and started looking around as he tried to find the right words.

“You were?” Starlight teased him.

“No! No, I mean… it’s almost nine, so I came to see if you wanted breakfast,” Spike said.

“Sure… I’d love to,” she said, mellowing her tone.

“Great!” Spike said, perking up again. “I’ll go start cooking. Do you want to get ready, or…?”

“Oh, I already did, so just… uh, let’s go,” Starlight said as she closed her bedroom door behind her.

Spike gulped. “Ah, alright then.”

That had been odd, but Starlight didn’t pay it any mind. Just as they had done the night before, the couple made their way through the hallways and corridors. She let out a soft giggle at the thought of being able to use the word “couple” in more than one way now.

Still, as they walked, Starlight noticed that Spike was acting… nervously. There was a stiffness to his steps, as if he was making a conscious act out of each movement of his legs. Not to mention that he had developed a sudden interest in the side of the hallway opposite to her.

She felt a knot forming in her chest. She wasn’t imagining this, was she? She tried to keep walking as normal while looking at Spike, who was indeed acting out of the ordinary. She didn’t have to think too much to figure out the reason of his uneasiness.

Her.

More specifically, her confession last night. She had been so wound up in thinking how it had affected her that she hadn’t thought for a second how Spike must have felt. Sure, he had agreed to go out with her, but she had spent most of the morning with a good heap of anxiety festering in the back of her mind, and she was the one who’d asked him out. She could only imagine what he had been through since then.

Yeah, you’re both off to a great start, Starlight, she reprimanded herself, but they reached the kitchen before she could say anything to Spike.

“We’re here,” Spike said, and Starlight thought it may have been just for the sake of saying something and breaking the silence. “Anything you’d like, Star?”

“I’ll have whatever you’ll have,” Starlight said.

“Alright then, I’ll make us something delicious.” He cracked his knuckles and started looking through the cabinets. “Go take a seat, I’ll be over in a second.”

“Can I help you with something?” Starlight blurted out.

Spike turned around and looked at her. She felt the blood rushing to her cheeks as the dragon stared at her in silence. “You don’t have to, I’m fine with cooking for us,” he said.

“No, I know you’re fine with it. It’s just that… well… It’s been a while since we last did something in the kitchen, and I just, I kinda wanted to, uh, to help,” Starlight said, doing her best Fluttershy impression. She wanted to slap herself for making such a big deal out of nothing at all. It wasn’t as though this would be the first time she ever helped him cook.

“Sure… I could use some help,” Spike said, and smiled for what was probably the first time that morning, which Starlight was more than willing to reciprocate. She liked to help Spike cook every now and then, even if most of the time she ended up not doing much more than playing the role of an assistant.

“Would you like to eat eggs Benedict?” he asked her.

“Sure, just tell me what to do.”

A nod and a smile later, Spike was directing Starlight to retrieve some supplies from the pantry as he fired up the stove.

“Pass me a few eggs. Can you melt some butter while I do this?” Spike said, taking out a small saucepan.

“Sure thing,” Starlight replied. She took out the carton of eggs and a whole bar of butter, and got to work on breakfast, always following Spike’s instructions very closely.

“Don’t stop stirring, or the butter and yolks won’t mix evenly,” Spike said as he carefully cracked an egg in a cup and submerged it in the boiling water.

“Got it,” Starlight said. Truth be told, it was easy to do this with magic. It allowed her to focus on the sauce itself, making sure it would reach Spike’s desired texture… as well as allowing her to look at Spike.

Focused as he was on the poached eggs, he didn’t notice her looking at him with an inquiring expression. She felt as if she should say something about last night. Mention it, at the very least, instead of letting it hang in the background like a vortex sucking the life out of the room.

Then again, what should she say? Or how should she say it? How was she supposed to bring it up? Dear Celestia, maybe she did imagine what happened last night.

Oh no, you don’t. Get it together, Glimmer.

“The sauce is just about ready. Could you pass me the muffins? I bought some at Sugarcube Corner earlier today,” Spike said as he took one of the eggs out of the boiling water.

Starlight lost focus of the saucepan for a moment, but quickly drove her attention back to the melting butter. With a nod, Starlight took the mix off of the stove and looked for the bag of baked goods. She was content with following Spike’s lead. This was his element and she was more than happy to let him guide her through it. She had no problem admitting she was nowhere near as skilled as Spike, but she was having fun, at the very least. Whether or not that fun derived from her company was something she deemed unimportant at the moment; she simply allowed herself to get lost in the rhythm of their work.

“And it’s done,” Spike said after finishing the assembly of their breakfast, where two beautiful, golden-coated eggs Benedict sat. Even under Starlight’s admittedly untrained eye, they seemed extremely appetizing.

“Can’t wait to try them,” Starlight said, still enraptured by the alluring splendor of their breakfast.

“Honestly, neither can I,” Spike said. He put both dishes on a small tray with two cups of coffee and an orange split in half. “Would you like to eat at the balcony?” He extended his free claw toward the kitchen’s balcony, one of the many balconies the castle had. This one in particular overlooked the western part of town, as well as the fringes of the Everfree Forest.

“The balcony? What’s wrong with eating here?” Starlight asked him.

“Nothing, it’s just that… well…” Spike shrugged while keeping his smile. “I know it doesn’t count as ‘going out,’ but I figured it’d be a nice start, wouldn’t it?”

Starlight took a deep breath as she replayed those words in her mind. If anything, she was grateful she wasn’t holding the tray. She would probably have dropped it to the ground. The little voice of doubt in her mind was wrong, she didn’t imagine last night, they were indeed going out, they were a couple.

That brought her a measure of reassurance. It did nothing to get rid of her errant fears about what others—especially Twilight—would say about this whole ordeal; but she did feel more confident knowing that she had someone to rely on.

“Star?” Spike said, bringing her out of her inner musings.

“Yes! Yes, I’d like that.” Starlight gave him her warmest smile, which wasn’t hard to do, considering she felt herself bursting with a warmth coming from her very core.
“Alright then, after you,” Spike said as he let Starlight walk in front of him.

It was a bright morning, with mostly clear skies and a barely perceptible breeze. Starlight couldn’t have asked for a better day. Still admiring the sights of Ponyville, she took her seat opposite Spike, waiting for him to set down the tray.

“Eggs Benedict with tomatoes and avocado for you,” Spike said as he pushed one of the dishes toward Starlight while pulling the other toward himself, “and one with powdered sapphires and bits of rubies for me.”

“Much appreciated,” Starlight said, lifting a fork with her magic and wasting no time before digging in.

It was a nearly flawless experience. The perfectly half-boiled poached egg practically melted on her tongue. The slight acidity of the hollandaise sauce, the juicy tomatoes and creamy avocado, the sweetness of the muffin, they all worked in harmony as a symphony of flavours that enveloped her taste buds.

“You outdo yourself as usual, Spike,” she said.

“You’re a flatterer, Star,” Spike said, finishing his dish with a large bite. “But you’re not wrong.”

Starlight took a sip of her coffee, still revelling in the flavour of the eggs. The warmth of the drink and the fresh cooked meal in her belly was a welcome sensation in contrast to the light chill of the air around them. It was a really nice way to spend the morning.

At that thought her expression soured, though she hoped the mug would cover her. She couldn’t deny that this was nice, because it really was… but how was it different from any of the other times they had eaten breakfast together? Shouldn’t it feel somewhat different now that they were a couple? Or maybe it didn’t have to? Maybe it was that feeling of comfort she had with Spike that prompted her to ask him out last night.

Although… That couldn’t be all that there was to it. If she really was comfortable with things being the way they were, she wouldn’t have asked him out in the first place. That didn’t mean she wasn’t comfortable with it, but rather that, perhaps, she desired something more.

“Is everything alright?” Spike asked him after downing his mug of coffee.

“Why did you say yes?” Starlight blurted out. She wished she could be this bold all around, it would save her the headaches.

“What?” Spike replied, more than a little dumbfounded.

Starlight let go of her mug, which thankfully didn’t break when it hit the crystal table. She quickly covered her mouth with her hoof and looked away, not sure how to respond. Maybe she could try to pass it off as a misunderstanding, claiming that Spike had simply—

No.

No, enough was enough. She was a grown mare and was not going to let some… some foalish insecurities bring down what could possibly be the beginning of a great relationship. No more faintheartedness; she was going to open up to her, uh, her dragon and be honest with him.

She took a deep breath and looked straight at him. “Why did you say yes when I asked if you wanted to go out with me?” she asked again.

Spike didn’t answer, not right away at least. Instead he looked deep into Starlight’s eyes, and seemed to be frozen in his spot, if his tail swinging behind him hadn’t said otherwise.

“Spike?” Starlight prodded him.

“I… I don’t know,” Spike said.

It felt weird to hear him say that. She wouldn’t say it hurt, really. There was nothing inherently wrong about what Spike said, but she’d expected something more.

“You don’t know?” Starlight asked him as she averted her gaze and rubbed her hooves together.

“No, I mean…” he looked for the right words. “It’s hard to explain. It’s just that, well, it felt… right?”

Now that was a better answer.

“How so?” Starlight asked him in her softest voice.

It was Spike’s turn to look away. He had an awkward smile plastered over his face, and Starlight had to wonder how he must have been feeling.

“We’re good friends, right?” Spike asked her. “I mean, we’ve spent so much time together. I think I’ve spent more time with you over these last few years than with anypony else. I… I do think of you as one of my best friends.” Spike’s smile was now directed at her. And in it Starlight found something, a reassurance of sorts that meant her fears, while not entirely unfounded, mattered little.

“When you asked me if, well, if I’d like to go out with you, I didn’t really have to think about it. I just sort of knew to say yes.“ Spike leaned forward a little bit, resting his elbows on the edge of the table and closing the distance between them. “I guess I liked the idea.”

The warmth Starlight felt in her chest now spread over to her face. She found herself mirroring Spike’s smile, although she guessed hers was a bit goofier.

“What about you? Why did you ask me out?” Spike asked her.

“I think pretty much for the same reason. I’m sure my confession last night must have come as a surprise to you,” Starlight said, and she had the decency to look a bit apologetic.

“You could say that,” Spike replied with a smirk.

“Oh, hush… “ Starlight chided him. “I know it was a bit abrupt. I just feel so comfortable when I’m with you that I guess I didn’t think much of it at the moment. Besides, it’s not as if I haven’t entertained the thought before.”

This, she noticed, took him by surprise, if his wide eyes and his mouth open in a small grin were any indication. “Really?” Spike asked.

“Y-yeah… you are my best friend, Spike. I realised that a while ago, and I think that while part of me liked that, there was another part that wished for more. As time went on, I realised I didn’t like spending time with you so much as I… as I liked you.”

Starlight’s breath left her just as those last words escaped her lips. Well, the cat was out of the bag now. Not that either of them should be surprised—that much was already implied when she asked him out—but saying it out loud and having it out in the open felt refreshing in a way. Relieving, even.

“You…”

Starlight wasn’t sure how the dragon would react to her dropping yet another bomb on him in such a short period of time, but at least she had gotten everything off her chest.

Almost everything, anyway.

Spike’s face, much like her own, was alight with flushed cheeks. She rubbed the bridge of her nose in hopes of clearing her lovestruck mind. It came as a surprise, however, when she noticed Spike standing up. She tried to say something, but before she could, Spike walked around the table and sat right next to her. Thanks to his recent growth, they could still see each other eye to eye.

They didn’t stare at each other, not quite. They were staring into each other’s eyes, as if they were trying to communicate something without words.

“Spike?” Starlight whispered.

“You’re right, I wasn’t expecting any of this to happen, and while it did catch me by surprise, I’m not really against it,” Spike said, all without breaking eye contact. “I like you too, Starlight. I don’t know how much, exactly, but I’m more than willing to find out.”

If Spike’s words weren’t enough to wash away all of the fears and doubts that had sieged Starlight since the previous night, what he did afterwards filled her with pure, unabashed contentedness. The young dragon reached out towards her and pulled her in, resting the side of his neck against hers, and holding the back of her head with his claw as he gave her a few gentle strokes. While Starlight initially flinched in surprise, it wasn’t long before she melted in the dragon’s rather chaste embrace.

Spike’s scales were tough to the touch, but as a whole he felt incredibly soft and warm in a way that made Starlight want to not stop feeling it ever. She nuzzled against him and held him with her hooves. Their chests rose and fell in a slow rhythm as they basked in the silence of their togetherness. Neither of them wanted it to end, but they knew it couldn’t last forever. Finally, after minutes of silence, Starlight spoke up.

“You know, if anything you’ve raised the bar for lunch pretty high,” Starlight said.

“You're going to eat whatever I cook and you’re going to love it,” Spike said back.

“I never meant to imply otherwise,” Starlight added, and nuzzled him once more.

She didn’t know how this would develop, if it’d work or not, or how their friends—especially Twilight—would react once they found out. But Spike hadn’t brought that up, maybe it wasn’t as big a deal as she imagined it’d be.

“Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah, Star?”

“I think we’re alright.”

“Yeah... we’re alright.”

They shared a happy, joyful laugh. Spike gently scratched the back of her ears, sending tingling sensations down her spine. Everything else was secondary; they were together, and that meant everything was alright for the time being.

And, perhaps, that was enough.
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#1 · 2
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I'll focus:

On two points, one specific and one general.

The specific point is: that opening scene is way too long. I'm terrible at figuring stuff out, but even I knew what was happening after about the fifth paragraph. And yet the scene kept going on and on and on and on. "Brevity is the soul of wit," someone easily Googleable once said, so make the joke short and sweet, then get on with the story.

The general point is: watch your POV. This is especially vital in a romance story, I've always found, 'cause the story's all about the characters, their thoughts and feelings and how they come together. When you hop from head to head at more or less random intervals the way you do here, it makes it really hard for me to settle in and get to know either character. Just as I'm getting used to seeing the world through one set of eyes, I'm being popped out and plopped down into place behind the other set of eyes. So I'd recommend sticking with one character per scene. Put up one of those little dividing bars when the first scene's over, then start the next scene in the other character's head. The third scene takes us back to the first character, the fourth scene back to the second character, and on and on like that. Give us time to settle in with each character, and the story'll be the stronger for it.

Mike
#2 · 2
· · >>Morning Sun
A year ago, when I participated in the writeoffs regularly, I got raked over the coals repeatedly whenever Spike and anything approaching romance appeared in the same story… I wish you better luck with that than I. I peddle my romances elsewhere these days.

At first I thought they were playing poker; either way it goes on a tad too long. Their interplay is nice, but I confess the word choices for Spike don’t feel quite right, and it didn’t improve as the story progressed. I understand that he’s older now, but it still doesn’t feel quite like an evolution of the on-screen Spike. There isn’t much in the way of body language from him either.

About the time they started packing up the game, you started dropping some downright telly descriptions in the midst of the action. Descriptions aren’t bad by any means, but you could show stuff like this:

The vanilla pudding with cherries tasted just as good as Starlight imagined it would. It had just the right level of sweetness, but there was something else there. Something she couldn’t pinpoint right away, but with every bite it became more evident.


That paragraph could easily involve Starlight swishing the pudding around in her mouth, comparing its taste and texture to various other dishes she’s had and scanning the kitchen shelves as she tries to puzzle out the mystery ingredient.

Likewise, the explaining of Starlight’s relationship to Spike is just that; a textbook explanation. Her reaction immediately after she asks him out is better; her panic comes through in the prose.

Overall, I feel like the heart of this story is Starlight’s uncertainty, her asking Spike (and herself) why. I think you could tighten this up a great deal, considering how much verbiage you’ve devoted to her internal thought process versus her actual interaction with Spike, be that through speech, sight, or action.
#3 · 2
· · >>Posh
The intro here is grating. Small, often pointless actions litter the scene and interrupt the dialogue. Dial it back a bit, and when you do put in actions, they don't need their own paragraph. The way you have it set out now feels slow and plodding.

And, I think, given the reveal, the intro goes on far too long. Being coy can be entertaining, but it gets old fast.

In general, your sentences are too bulky. There is a way to be richly descriptive, but just cramming in clauses and adjectives and adverbs isn't going to do it. Let's pull out a section so I can explain what I mean:

When he heard her, he stopped as though pondering her words. Before Starlight could ask if anything was wrong, Spike lowered the dishes and blew a gentle stream of sparkling green flames over them.

“Ta-da~!” Spike said in a singsong tone as he placed the desserts on the table. The quick exposure to fire had turned the outer layer of pudding into a glistening, golden brown crust. The cherries had burst and were releasing a tantalising smell.

Starlight felt her eyes widen and her mouth salivate at the sight of the dessert. It must have been quite a sight, if Spike’s subdued giggling was anything to go by.


“As though pondering her words” does no work here. You could drop it without much loss. “Sparling green flames” is also overwrought, and can be done away with. If you're writing Spike's ta-da like that, you don't need to follow up by describing it as a singsong tone. Tantalising is a word better suited to adverts for posh food; you can make something sound tantalising (or not) by other forms of description. And no one should ever feel their eyes widen or their mouth salivate.

Next up, a big chunk of introspection. Two problems: First, it goes on for far too long. I get the point rather quickly. Second, I really don't buy the doesn't-know-she's-in-love cliché. It feels neither realistic nor romantic.

On the other hand, the next bit – “Would you like to go out with me?” – that's more like it! First, just because it comes as a surprise, but doesn't come out of nowhere. Second, because witless and spineless characters are such a staple of fourth-rate romances that it's just nice to see Starlight figure out she wants and go after.

The following retreat into self-doubt is rather less welcome, though.

Next morning, the prose issue gets rather painful: “An all-encompassing light dissipated the darkness as Starlight slowly regained consciousness. She blinked once, twice, and by the third time her brain realised she was indeed awake.” What's wrong with simply saying she woke up? Or, if you want description, there's always the feel of the bedclothes, the the warmth, the way the light comes in the window, the pattern it makes on the wall opposite, etc. For description, go for precise imagery rather than vague hand-waving.

After this, things start to get muddled. We've got Spike and Starlight together, so what comes next? Even more self-doubt by Starlight apparently. There are some hints at real troubles – what will Twilight and the others think? But this issue never goes anywhere, and the story just peters out.

At this point, I think I can do no better than point you to the end of my review of Connections. Love stories should spring from the characters. You do okay here – Starlight is prone to self-doubt, and introducing Spike's talent for cooking helps things along. But it's not enough.

You might also want to keep your end in mind. If it's getting them together, end there. If it's something else – a successful first date is fine – then aim for that. Put obstacles in that way. Something to worry about rather than worries themselves. Worries dissolve easily. Obstacles don't. That's the easiest way to grow a simple plot.
#4 · 3
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“Tick tock, Mister ‘The Dragon’. There’s a limit to my magnanimity,” Starlight said, crossing her arms over her chest.


Spike, you fool, you've been had! Ms. Harshwhinney has assumed Starlight's form in order to seduce you!

So this was probably written by horizon, then.

I see that everyone and their grandmother, and their grandmothers in turn, have already criticized the opening. I'm gonna add my voice to theirs, and also say that the dialogue between Spike and Starlight feels really, really stilted, and the quality only decreases the longer you draw out the joke. You're stretching to find new, creative innuendos for them to lob at one another, and it shows. Wrap it up quicker and get to the punchline faster. Timing is everything.

Also, why are they playing human board games? Shouldn't they be ponified varients, like Monclopoly, and, uh... Horse-Risk?

Every other criticism I have has already been hammered out by the other reviewers, though. The story flounders after the first major plot point (Starlight abruptly asking Spike out), and it spends a while flopping about directionlessly until they finally get to the point and snuggle. I really don't know what else I can say to build upon them. Aside from the clunky beginning, the dialogue between the two is pretty strong (for the most part; a few clunkers here and there), and Starlight's characterization feels pretty consistent with who she is in the show.

I don't like the detail that she doesn't talk much about her past, though, since she has to remind the audience that she used to be evil in every one of her appearances in the cartoon. It's almost a running gag.

Okay, there is one thing that I can bring up. I hesitate to do so because a certain ROUSTABOUT whose name rhymes with BLORNING BLUN already disagreed with me about this (there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Blorning Blun bousebold once I'm through exacting my petty revenge), but I feel like the romance between Starlight and Spike feels unearned. It's a love story where the love that blossoms at the end wasn't really striven for, and didn't have to overcome anything. The two biggest obstacles are Starlight's self-doubt, which turned out to be entirely unfounded, and Twilight's potential disapproval, which was brought up and then never really went anywhere (how about having the two of them talk about that in their endgame conversation, huh?). I guess that, in a revision, I'd want a little bit more elaboration from Spike about his perspective and his feelings. I want him to do more to set Starlight's mind at ease than to just off-handedly remind her that, no, she didn't dream about randomly asking him out.

Make the most out of their discussion, and give them something more tangible to overcome.

Also, nitpick, but you keep using the word "confession," when Starlight doesn't actually confess anything until the end of the story. So. I have no choice but to give this story an 8/10.
#5 · 1
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>>Scramblers and Shadows
Tantalising is a word better suited to adverts for posh food


I do enjoy eating things that are tantalizing...

Can't believe I missed that in my review; I'm usually so good at picking up references to the word I chose as my username...
#6 ·
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I'll go against the grain and say that while the opening is a bit too long, it's not because it overstays its welcome but because I had to keep starting over to follow along with what was going on - and then re-read it again after the reveal just to have it all gel.

The ship itself I feel works well enough. Everything in it feels like it could naturally develop so I feel your plot is solid enough; the flounder part for me, as >>BlazzingInferno already noted is the story is far, far too tell-ey. We're always told exactly how ponies feel instead of letting imagery do the work. To grab from near the end:

If Spike’s words weren’t enough to wash away all of the fears and doubts that had sieged Starlight since the previous night, what he did afterwards filled her with pure, unabashed contentedness.


This is tell-ey. Show-ey would be more akin to
Spike's words helped to slow her hammering heartbeat, and for the first time in what seemed like hours, Starlight found herself breathing easily. What he did next transformed that comfortable stillness into a warm, full-body glow that stretched her lips into a wide, silly grin amidst giddy giggles.


In both cases we have 'Starlight is nervous, Spike comforts her than makes her happy', but one directly tells us this, and the other lets us pick it up from the narrative flow (Though the second half of mine may still be a little tell-ey, I'm unsure)

But I think if you can polish that out you'll have a fine gem.
#7 ·
·
(Gonna bump our bottom two review-receivers up to six each before prelims end.)

Might as well make the complaint about the opening unanimous. Your punchline:

“I’m not giving you Atlantic Avenue,” he huffed as he sat back.


... is preceded by 799 words of buildup. Consider that minific Writeoffs give you 750 words for your whole story. You are starting your Writeoff entry with an entire minific's worth of shaggy-dog story. That's a tough stumble out of the gate.

This got my lowest non-Froggy score for the round — which is NOT to say that this is a bad story. Your dialogue is intermittently gold:

“Why keep so much change?” she asked.

“I want to delude myself into believing the amount of bills make up for how little money I actually have.”


And the back-and-forth during the first cooking scene, along with the cooking itself, are exactly the sort of beautiful detail that benefit not just romance stories but fics in general. Your eye for details is great and I want to encourage that.

(Mostly. Super nitpicky note here:)
Another groan escaped her as she finished pretending to fix up her bedsheets. A hot shower could probably help her clear her mind, or at the very least wake her up. If anything it would give her some time to think before she had to go out and face Spike.

Last night she had had no problem with acting coy and alluring as she rode on the coattails of the adrenaline rush her confession gave her, but once she was alone she couldn’t help but wonder why had she been so rash about it.

Starlight let the jet of cold water wash away her thoughts.


But the core problem here, the absolute story-killer for me that made this plummet down my slate despite the strong writing in the small, is simply this: you are writing a romance story in which the characters are getting together because of alien brainworms.

I can really do no better than referring you to the canonical posts on the subject, Chuckfinley's "Alien Shipping Syndrome Is A Terrible Thing" and bookplayer's 5 Tips for Avoiding Alien Shipping Syndrome. It's a pretty textbook diagnosis, and because the romance here feels to me like one extended cliche which turns its two protagonists into shmoopy cardboard cutouts, the core of your story falls totally flat. So my reading experience on the whole was much like the first 799 words: a giant tedious buildup to nothing, punctuated by moments of clever, sharp writing which just reminded me how much potential was going unfulfilled here.

Author, I know from those moments of awesome writing that you can sell this romance. Perhaps you didn't know you needed to, but you do — and you need to have it not be a surprise to the characters in love, too. Bookplayer's blog might help if you're dipping your toe into unfamiliar genre waters.

Tier: Misaimed