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Food and Magic Doesn't Mix
I watched as my kitchen descended into chaos, the ingredients I had been handling had taken on a life of their own. Bread was flipping itself end over end, somehow climbing up benches and walls before flinging itself off the counters or cabinets that framed the small room. Butter would clump up and suddenly launch itself at flat surfaces, leaving a distinct splatter mark wherever it hit and countless vegetables were rolling around on the floor.
It all started with what I thought was a great idea. I mean what could go wrong with a little spell? Channelling the magic of this world wasn’t very difficult once you knew how to find it and I was learning quickly, each small experiment had gone off without a hitch. Only now did I realise that I may have gotten a little cocky. A simple come-to-life spell like I would cast on a broom and direct it with my thoughts, instructing the ingredients to form in a simple pattern and presto, a sandwich ready to eat and I wouldn’t have to lift a finger.
But fate can be a fickle mistress and I truly realise that now as I dodge a glob of butter that would have splattered all over my face. I pulled on the magic of the world again, trying to suck out the come-to-life spell and channel it’s power back through my body. As an aura began swirling around my fingers it fizzled out, my spell failing and my kitchen continued to revel in its chaos. A leaf of lettuce shuffled across the counter slowly and so I moved to grab it, crushing it as my hand slammed down.
When I moved my hand away it continued, slower than before but still very obviously moving. With an angry grunt I opened my pantry, pulling out a garbage bag and closing it behind me as I turned to face my kitchen again. Swiftly I grabbed the lettuce leaf I had already slowed down, dumping it in the black plastic bag before looking for a new target. I spied a single piece of bread climbing the wall above my sink and lunged, my hand falling short as it dropped its purchase on my black and white tiled walls. When it landed in the sink however it immediately stopped moving for a moment, allowing me to easily snatch it up and add it to the garbage bag.
An hour past as I fought with the ingredients over control of my kitchen, each one eventually succumbing to my anger fueled search. The bag was rustling and twitching in my hand now, so full was it with the living bread and vegetables that I had gathered inside that I wondered how I had gotten myself into such a stupid mess to begin with.
The last piece of bread was soon collected, it had been hiding itself on top of the cabinets on my walls and with it I dropped to the floor and sighed. Quickly I tied the top of the bag, sealing it in case one of those tricky ingredients tried to escape its plastic prison. I sat there for what may as well have been hours, replaying the same thought through my mind.
Don’t fuck around with magic.
It all started with what I thought was a great idea. I mean what could go wrong with a little spell? Channelling the magic of this world wasn’t very difficult once you knew how to find it and I was learning quickly, each small experiment had gone off without a hitch. Only now did I realise that I may have gotten a little cocky. A simple come-to-life spell like I would cast on a broom and direct it with my thoughts, instructing the ingredients to form in a simple pattern and presto, a sandwich ready to eat and I wouldn’t have to lift a finger.
But fate can be a fickle mistress and I truly realise that now as I dodge a glob of butter that would have splattered all over my face. I pulled on the magic of the world again, trying to suck out the come-to-life spell and channel it’s power back through my body. As an aura began swirling around my fingers it fizzled out, my spell failing and my kitchen continued to revel in its chaos. A leaf of lettuce shuffled across the counter slowly and so I moved to grab it, crushing it as my hand slammed down.
When I moved my hand away it continued, slower than before but still very obviously moving. With an angry grunt I opened my pantry, pulling out a garbage bag and closing it behind me as I turned to face my kitchen again. Swiftly I grabbed the lettuce leaf I had already slowed down, dumping it in the black plastic bag before looking for a new target. I spied a single piece of bread climbing the wall above my sink and lunged, my hand falling short as it dropped its purchase on my black and white tiled walls. When it landed in the sink however it immediately stopped moving for a moment, allowing me to easily snatch it up and add it to the garbage bag.
An hour past as I fought with the ingredients over control of my kitchen, each one eventually succumbing to my anger fueled search. The bag was rustling and twitching in my hand now, so full was it with the living bread and vegetables that I had gathered inside that I wondered how I had gotten myself into such a stupid mess to begin with.
The last piece of bread was soon collected, it had been hiding itself on top of the cabinets on my walls and with it I dropped to the floor and sighed. Quickly I tied the top of the bag, sealing it in case one of those tricky ingredients tried to escape its plastic prison. I sat there for what may as well have been hours, replaying the same thought through my mind.
Don’t fuck around with magic.
"The lazy ones do double the work," my dad used to say.
It was a nice enough vignette and PSA about the dangers of culinary magic, but sadly I don't feel it amounts to much. There's no real depth to the story, and I wished there had been. Enjoyable for what it is, I just wished it had gone a bit further.
It was a nice enough vignette and PSA about the dangers of culinary magic, but sadly I don't feel it amounts to much. There's no real depth to the story, and I wished there had been. Enjoyable for what it is, I just wished it had gone a bit further.
I'll agree with >>ZaidValRoa:
There are more than a few run-on sentences, some verb tense mix-ups, and that sort of thing, but I'd guess the word limit's mostly the problem here. Maybe Our Narrator's a rebellious teenager who's been warned all his/her life not to mix food with magic. Maybe this experiment causes all the food to glom together into some sort of Lovecraftian food monster that Our Narrator then hasta defeat. Something more, at any rate.
Mike
There are more than a few run-on sentences, some verb tense mix-ups, and that sort of thing, but I'd guess the word limit's mostly the problem here. Maybe Our Narrator's a rebellious teenager who's been warned all his/her life not to mix food with magic. Maybe this experiment causes all the food to glom together into some sort of Lovecraftian food monster that Our Narrator then hasta defeat. Something more, at any rate.
Mike
A culinary retelling of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, then. As a short scene, it delivers, but for me it's badly in need of some character development (voice, motivation) to really elevate it to where it needs to be. That last line doesn't really work for me, because the rest of the scene already implies as much, and there isn't really a setup to make referencing it worthwhile (say, as oppose to having the protagonist be told as much at the start, only to disregard it and learn the hard way... or something). There are a lot of words spent on the food, and though it makes for a reasonably amusing fic, I do feel that they could have been more efficiently used to bulk up the theme and message of the story. Would be interested in reading again with some revision/removal of word count restrictions.
Thanks for sharing your work!
Thanks for sharing your work!
This one didn't do much for me, unfortunately. As a concept, it was a good take on the prompt, but in execution and character development and exploration for some deeper theme and meaning, it felt superficial. All we see is the surface events, and of just a single scene. There's a moral at the end of the story, but it's one that's a bit of a cliche (both in traditional fairy tales and in more modern fantasy gaming / nerd culture) and something that should be a very complex issue - magic - isn't being explored in a deeper sense than the simple presentation of a moral imperative.
Still, I understand that these things can be very hard to accomplish in a minific format, so don't feel bad. I think that to fully fill out what a story like this needs probably just requires more space than there is work with here.
Still, I understand that these things can be very hard to accomplish in a minific format, so don't feel bad. I think that to fully fill out what a story like this needs probably just requires more space than there is work with here.
When I started writing this I felt very confident about it but by the time I finished I realised just how much I had to leave out and how much the remaining ideas would have lifted it up to be a better story.
But hey at least as I practice I slowly improve my skills.
I can honestly say I did much better with the stories this round than my failure last round.
But hey at least as I practice I slowly improve my skills.
I can honestly say I did much better with the stories this round than my failure last round.