Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.

End of an Era · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
The Stratospheric Council
“Dictator Twilight Sparkle!” the stallion roared from the floor of the senate.

He was an impressive sight. A least a hoof taller than any other pony in the room he stood with his head held high and huge wings outstretched. His coat was a faint blue in hue, so pale that it was almost impossible to see where the fur ended and platinum blond mane bagan. He wore only a thin harnes of faded rope that once, in the dim past, had been been dyed red and gold, but the colours were so bleached that it was impossible to tell. Two Royal guards stood either side of him, spears in hoof, but with the perplexed look of soldiers facing a disaster way out of their pay grade.

Twilight blinked, pausing in mid speech. “Um... Excuse me?”

“You are Dictator of Cloudsdale?” The stallion pressed, glaring up at her. “I am Sky Blade, Emissary of the Stratospheric Council. Are you the half-breed who claims to rule here?”

Somewhat bemused Twilight cast around the grand hall for some kind of explanation. Hundreds of ponies looked back in various states of shock, horror and amazement. Despite their pomp and finery the senators seemed to have no more idea of how to react than Twilight.

“Princess,” she said at last. “I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Sky Blade gave a dismissive wave. “We care not for your earthly titles. You rule over my kin, do you not?”

“Well, somewhat,” Twilight hazarded, glancing to her left where the mayor was attempting to hide behind her own wing. “Okay, yes. Yes. I rule over all ponies with the other Princesses. Sorry, who did you say you represented again?”

“You do not rule over us,” Blade shot back, bristling. He took a deep breath, visibly clamping down on his rage. “But your confusion is only natural, I suppose my kin—” He spat the word, casting a contemptuous glare at the gathered senators who glared back with equal ferocity. “—do not talk freely about our agreement. Still. As the newest ruler of the low-born pegasi it is our duty to extend you an audience. Given your kinds distaste for the true sky, I will bear a cloud to the council. I will depart in ten minutes. Do not tarry.”

With that he turned on his heels and leapt into the air with a single flap of his huge wings.

Twilight watched him go, her mouth slightly open as she tried to process what had just happened. “O~kay.” She looked up at the stunned crowd. “I think this is a good time for a recess.”




The Cloudsdale Senate was on of the oldest buildings in Cloudsdale. A sprawling complex of porticos, grand halls and fluted columns that dominated the hollowed inner dome of the cloud city. Lit by lamps of captured lightning and decorated with great plates of inscribed bronze, it towered over the homes of the rich and the powerful that clustered around the grand palace. Twilight, the mayor, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie stood on a broad balcony at the height of the building looking over the city.

“I’m sorry, Princess. I’m so, so, so sorry!” Mayor Windy Miller exclaimed, looking like she wanted to dig through the cloud and hide until it was all over. “I had no idea the Council would be here today. They usually send a note, they never come in person, they–”

“Mayor Miller, please calm down,” Twilight interjected. “Just take a deep breath and explain, slowly.”

Windy Miller took a desperate gulp and held her breath. Twilight waited a long beat. She’d quite enjoyed the Mayor’s company earlier in the day, but it seemed the mare had the crisis management skills of the flower sisters. Actually, that was a disservice, the flower sisters at least tended to be proactive panickers.

“And exhale,” Twilight prompted, bemused.

Mayor Miller let out a choked gasp and staggered, straining to catch her breath. Twilight turn to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, who were doing there best not to look embarrassed. “Can either of you tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m betting on some kind of super secret spy agency,” Pinkie Pie said. She let out a sudden gasp. “Do you think we’re being summoned on a mission to save the world?”

Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes. “Nah, that only happens when there’s all six of us. Besides, that jerk just called Twilight out in front of all of Cloudsdale, it’s not exactly a secret.”

“Maybe it's a double-double bluff?”

“Pinkie Pie, it's nothing to do with secrets, I’m sure,” Twilight said. “Isn’t that right, Mayor?”

“Ah, actually you’re majesty,” Miller began, having finally regained her breath. “It a little bit of a secret. Or at least not common knowledge. Have you ever encountered in your studies the idea of high altitude weather?”

Twilight frowned. “To some degree, I suppose. Jet streams and other phenomena can all be found in the high troposphere. Why?”

“Well, have you ever considered who might be controlling it?”

“Controlling...” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Mayor Miller, are you telling me there’s an actual undiscovered tribe of pegasi living and working in the upper reaches of the sky?” Miller gave a shaky nod and Twilight let out an excited squeal. “And they’ve invited me for a personal audience? That’s fantastic news, I can spread my message of friendship even beyond Equestria—or I suppose its above in this case. Either way, what are we waiting for?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say undiscovered...” Miller began.

“I’m not so sure about this, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said over the top of her. “That Sky Blade didn’t seem like the type to be interested in ‘friendship’. Are we sure we trust him?”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash. Those are exactly the ponies we have to bring our message to,” Twilight continued, waving her off. “Don’t worry, this is going to be wonderful.”

“Ooo, ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing up and down. “Can I come too? Please, Twilight. All new ponies means all new parties. And all new parties means brand new kinds of fun!”

Twilight smiled. “Of course, Pinkie. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Gracious, Princess, I’m not sure that’s wise at all,” Miller exclaimed in a rush. “The Stratospheric Council have never been fond of outsiders and they did only invite you after all. Maybe it would be wiser to go on your own. Or not at all. In fact, that’s probably for the best.”

“Not go?” Twilight goggled. “But that would just be rude. No, that’s not an option.” She frowned. “Though I suppose if we’re going to the upper reaches of the sky we’re going to have to be prepared.” Her horn kiddled and a trio of thick overcoats appeared. She frowned, looking suddenly guilty. “Umm, don’t tell Rarity I know this spell.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, even as Pinkie began to wriggle into one of the coats. “Are you sure we should be rushing into this, Twilight?” she pressed. “Look, I can get the girls. Ponyville’s not that far from here. Fluttershy even with her parents, I could get her and be back in twenty minutes tops.”

“There’s no need for that, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight dropped into what she liked to think of as her royal smile. “I’m the Princess of Friendship. Sky Blade may have a somewhat prickly exterior, but I’m sure he’s perfectly affable once you get to know him.”

Miller swallowed a lump. “Do be careful, Princess,” she begged. “The Council have never been on best terms and they could make everypony’s job here is Cloudsdale so much harder.”

“Of course.” Twilight smile broadened. “And don’t worry, everything will be fine.”




Sky Blade’s glower seemed deeper than Twilight remembered. The overlarge pegasus stood at the edge of a cloud so thin it was translucent, regarding the occasional low flying onlooker with raw suspicious.

Twilight felt her optimism waver as they trotted towards him. She wasn’t, however, the kind of mare to fall at the first jump, so merely smiled wider. “Hi there, Sky Blade. Are you ready for us?”

His glower deepened as he cast a contemptuous look across the trio, particularly their heavy coats. “And these are you... retainers, Dictator?”

“My friends,” Twilight correctly, swiftly. “Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. We’ve very happy to meet you.”

Blade glanced between the pair. Rainbow Dash met his glower. Pinkie Pie smiled and waved.

“It is your right I suppose,” he said at last. “Very well, Dictator, climb aboard. Unless you feel your wings are strong enough to bear you.”

“Thank you, Sky Blade.” She hopped onto the cloud which bowed alarmingly under her weight. “And don’t feel you need to keep calling me by my title... well you aren’t I suppose, but please just call me Twilight.”

Blade cocked his head, regarding to trio with a moment’s honest confusion. “That is not your right,” he concluded at last. He didn’t say another word as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie boarded and then took up position at the rear of the cloud. With a grunt of effort he heaved the thin bundle of fluff into motion and within just a few moments they were clear of Cloudsdale and ascending rapidly into the sky.

“So, Blade, I can call you Blade, right?” Twilight began, trying not to look too closely at the ground dwindling away. The stallion grunted, which she took as an affirmative. “I was hoping to learn a little about you. I’ve never met a pegasus from the upper atmosphere before, how–”

“Stratosphere,” Blade interjected, his scowl deepening. “We are the pegasi of the stratosphere.”

“Don’t be silly. There’s no weather in–ow!”

Rainbow Dash nudged her hard in the ribs. “Twilight, don’t be right,” she hissed.

It took a few moments for Twilight to process that. “Oh, right sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any offence, Blade.” Again the pegasus said nothing. “So what kind of weather work do you do?”

“Do not take me for a fool, Dictator,” Blade snapped. “You will pry no secrets from me.”

“Secrets? Oh, no. I just wanted to know more about where you are from.” Twilight smiled, sheepishly. “I don’t have any experiance with that kind of weather work, or weather work at all to be honest. It would be wonderful to hear about it from you.”

Twilight gave herself a mental pat on the back for a perfect implementation of her conversation starter checklist, and from memory too.

Sky Blade stared at her for a long moment, his wings never slowing in their steady beat. “Very well. As your education is unfortunately lacking, I am a proud member of the finest pegasi to grace the sky. We do not trifle ourselves with the comings and goings of clouds and crops like those of the lower reaches. Instead, we manage the great rivers of the sky. My father manages the Western Flow, the most important of all.”

“Amazing.” Twilight itched to start taking notes. “I’d never even imagined that ponies could affect the weather on that kind of scale.”

“That is fitting.” A smug lilt crept into Blade’s voice. “Only the Stratospheric pegasi could ever hope to control the great rivers. There was once a time where ponies would slay thousands for the chance to earn entry into our ranks. Alas, it has been centuries since we last saw a challenger. Living too close to the ground dulls a pony’s senses.”

“Oh man, I haven’t heard that kind of driv–” Rainbow Dash cut herself off as she caught Twilight’s glare. “I mean, I reckon I could give you a run for your money.”

Blade shrugged, never missing a beat. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.” He looked her up and down. “You have the stink of earth on you but that has not ended all challenges before they began. If you can be cleansed of course.”

“Yeah...” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what that means, but I’m not going to be doing that.”

“I wanna’ know what else you do up there?” Pinkie Pie cut in, bouncing in place and making the cloud lurch alarmingly. The ground, never close to Cloudsdale, was receding fast and already Twilight and her friends found their breath misting before them. “Do you have have your own special of party games? I’m imagining a lot of trick flying, what with you all being pegasi. Oh, what about food? It’s gotta be hard to get good ingredients all the way up there, but there’s a ton of cakes that mix great with cloud, like cloud cake! If the Cakes ever try to tell you that’s just a name don’t listen because I used a whole bunch of clouds that one time and it tasted great. Like candyfloss cake—cakeefloss?”

Blade blinked. “Dictator,” he said, turning to face Twilight. “Stop her talking.”

“If we knew how to do that, don’t you think we’d do it?” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Don’t be rude you two.” Twilight forced down a smirk. “Still, I have to admit I’m curious about your culture. What else do you do?”

The question seemed to catch Blade by surprise. “We guard the great rivers,” he said, simple.

Twilight waited until a count of five for him to continue.

“And?”

“Train.” Blade regarded them with the same steely resolution. “Perhaps you have not understood me, Dictator. We are the Stratospheric pegasi. We rule the sky. Not steward like your low-born kin. Not scrape in the dirt for pleasantries like the ground bound filth. We rule. And nothing is more important than that.”




Blade did not feel inclined to speak after that. Despite Twilight deploying a host of friendship tricks, Rainbow Dash needling him on flight techniques and Pinkie Pie’s incessant friendship inducing babble, he remained stoic.

In the end it took a little over two hours for Sky Blade to propel the cloud into the upper reaches of the sky. There was little to do but admire the view, which grew more impressive by the minute. Cloudsdale was a mere three thousand feet above the ground on the best of days. The view was, of course, stunning from that altitude, allowing a pony to take in whole cities or even counties, in a single vista, but Canterlot matched its lofty perch.

The Stratospheric’s city was so high above Equestria it was hard to make out the country below. Sure, Twilight could pick out the major features. Canterlot, a golden point of light on the mountainside. The Everfree forest, a vast sprawl of greenery to the west. Manehattan, a greyish blur on the horizon. But of the smaller details that made up her life; Ponyville, the railway, her castle, were all lost to the vast distance between them and solid ground. Perched atop a tiny tuft of cloud, indescribably high and growing colder and colder by the minute, it was hard to imagine the land below had trivial things like boundaries and rulers.

Compared the the view, the city was a disappointment. Sky Blade guided their cloud through a maze of wispy high altitude mist. It was only when Twilight caught a flash of yellow blue mane that she noticed they had an audience. In ones and twos pegasi filtered out from the clouds, which Twilight realised in a flash were hollowed out to form snug little homes. The growing crowd ghosted alongside them, suspended on their broad wings, keeping a wary distance. Some were even armed, though their armour looked centuries out of date and their weapons were held together by strips of cloth. Still, the tips of their spears looks wickedly sharp. Twilight wondered just who they expected to fight so far up in the sky.

Twilight shivered, and not just because of the biting cold. There was no welcome in the flock. It wasn’t that Twilight was expecting a parade, even in Canterlot they weren’t that enthusiastic about royalty, but the hostility of the gathered ponies gave her pause. If she’d brought a full contingent of Canterlot’s finest snobs and a sign that said ‘I hate clouds’, she wouldn’t have expected such a frosty response.

“Dictator,” Blade’s voice broke her out of her reprieve. His breathing was heavy, at last, but the beat of his wings was as steady as ever. “We are here.”

“Where?” Rainbow exclaimed, craning her neck and she peered around the patchwork city.

“There.” Pinkie Pie pointed, as the mists parted and a temple hoved into view.

All the more impressive considering the tiny huts that made up the rest of the city, the huge temple sat squat upon a thick and fluffy cloud. It looked like somepony had plucked the whole building from Pegasopolis and borne it impossibly high into the sky. Unlike the bare hovels that surrounded them, it had been decorated with a thousand cloud sculptures and engravings, all of pegasi as far as Twilight could tell.

Rainbow Dash let out a low whistle. “Whoa. Where’s Daring Do when you need her?” She shook her head.

“I know,” Twilight said, grinning. “It's fantastic, isn’t it? Daring would give her left wing to see this. It’s just like one of her adventures.”

“Yeah... you know those usually end with her being chased away by rabid tribespeople, right?”

“Don’t be silly, sillies,” Pinkie chimed in. “Just look at all the new friends we can make here.”

“Friends, right.” Rainbow glanced at the silent escort. “Twilight, are you sure we want to do this?” she murmured. “I don’t think these ponies are very interested in being friends. And I know the weather well enough to tell you if we make these ponies mad Cloudsdale’s going to be in a lot of trouble.”

“It’s going to be fine, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “Don’t worry. They invited me here after all, they can’t be that unfriendly. Besides, it’s not like we can back out now.

“Eh, you could claim you have a stomach bug.”

Twilight shot her a skeptical look.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I’m just throwing out ideas. Still, promise me girls. If things go south just jump, I’ll catch you on the way down.”

“It will be fine,” Twilight repeated, more to herself than anypony else. “I promise.”

With a soft wumph their cloud reached the base of the temple. The snap of wings heralded them, as the Stratospheric’s landed all around, taking up perches on the mighty building. Pinkie Pie, always optimistic, leapt between the clouds and sank almost up to her haunches into the fluffy mass.

Twilight sighed and kindled her horn. A wave of whispers swept through the crowd as she levitated Pinkie Pie out of the hole, but she ignored them. Pausing only to check the cloudwalking spell on Pinkie’s hooves, Twilight set her face into serene Princess mode and stepped between the clouds.

She flinched the moment her hooves met the surface. Twilight still had much to learn about weather work, but even to her dull senses she could tell the cloud was ancient. Most cloud homes didn’t last more than a year or two before disintegrating into raindrops. Cloudsdale, for all its history, relied on recreation rather than preservation, with similar buildings replacing each other every thirty years. The cloud beneath her was old beyond measure. She could feel the sheer weight of the water and the layers upon layers of magic that held it all together. A thousand pegasi had worked for a thousand years to hold the temple together, at least, and even so the cloud was fighting every inch in a vain effort to return to its constituent parts. It was unsettling to say the least.

Twilight tried to ignore the way the surface creaked and popped as she stepped lightly towards the entranceway. Every eye was on her but she did not buckle, instead she kept her head high and her pace slow. Rainbow Dash followed, failing to hide her distaste every time her hooves hit the cloud.

The temple loomed high above them. Every square inch Twilight could see was engraved with images of pegasi; pegasi fighting, pegasi guiding clouds, pegasi gathering tribute and pegasi ‘gathering tribute’. The detail was astounding for working in cloud. So much so she began to wonder whether the Stratospheric Council did much beyond maintain their temple.

Three pegasi stood at the top of the steps. Aged, but dressed in full beaten bronze armour they glowered at the small party as they approached.

“Who!” the leader barked, stepping forward. Despite the armour and age he was almost a perfect match for Sky Blade, right down to the hew of their coats. “Who comes before the Stratospheric Council?”

Twilight came to a halt at the foot of the stairs and dropped into a curt bow. “Councillor, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I greet you on behalf of Equestria. These are my friends, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.”

The pegasi’ eyes narrowed. “We care not for your earthly titles, and do not recognise the upstart kingdom of Equestria. You are the latest of the halfbreed ilk to claim the title of Dictator of Cloudsdale, are you not?”

“I’m not–” Twilight began, but Rainbow Dash nudged her in the ribs again. “I mean,” she continued, in a more diplomatic tone. “Yes, I rule over Cloudsdale. Though I don’t believe anypony uses the title Dictator any more.”

“If it must, that will suffice. I am Senator Cloud Lance, Dictator of all the skies and master of ponykind.” His eyes lingered on Twilight’s horn. “Your half-breed compatriots lacked respect, but we are magnanimous and will grant you an audience despite their failings. Follow.”

Twilight blinked. “Excuse me?” she exclaimed.

Cloud Lance hadn’t waited for her answer, however, and already the senators had disappeared inside the temple.

“Yeah, these folks are real friendly, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash muttered.

Twilight grit her teeth and trotted up the stairs, ignoring her.

“Don’t worry, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie chirped, bouncing along after her. “We’ve made friends with all kinds of grumpy ponies before. I know just what we need, a party!”

“What is a party?” Sky Blade enquired, following them up the stairs.

Pinkie froze mid bounce. In mid-air but that wasn’t something that even registered to Twilight any more. “What’s a party?” She shook herself and landed. “Whooee. I have got my work cut out here. Next you’ll be telling me you’ve never had cake.”

“You’ve mentioned this before, what is ‘cake’?”

Pinkie Pie’s mouth worked in silence as they stepped inside.

The interior of the temple was less richly decorated than the facade. In fact, most of the interior space seemed to have been used as storage with crates, cans and bottles piled haphazardly all about. A ghost of a smile crept across Twilight’s face as she spied a barrel of ‘Sweet Apple Acres’ apples. Applejack would be pleased to know just how far afield her crop had travelled.

“No cake!” Pinkie exclaimed, finally overcoming her shock. “Okay, this is a part emergency. Quick.” She reached into her mane and pulled out a luridly pink cupcake. “Take this.” She shoved it into his hooves.

Blade frowned at the cupcake. “And what am I supposed to do with it?”

“Eat it, silly,” she said, smiling.

“But I’ve already had my share,” he pointed out, still looking with confusion at the tiny cake.

Pinkie Pie grinned. “Then take it as a gift. A little something for carrying us all the way up here.”

Blade’s eye flicked up to her, then back down at the cupcake, his customary scowl deepening. Hesitantly he leaned forwards and took an experimental nibble. Twilight had to fight to keep her face straight as foalish wonder filled Sky Blade’s eyes. The sotic stallion took another, frantic, bite, cooing with happiness and then finally seemed to seize control of himself. Reluctantly, he swallowed and, reverently, set the cupcake aside on a nearby crate.

“Come on, girls,” Twilight said. “Let’s not keep the Council waiting.”

A threadbare curtain separated the bulk of the temple from a rear room. Specks of purple dye persisted at the edges, but time and age had bleached the rest an off-cream colour. Twilight paused before it and, with a steadying breath, stepped through and into the temple’s sanctuary.

The Senators were waiting for her, a dozen or so elderly ponies arrayed on low risers, though there were far more seats than ponies present. They all wore burnished bronze armour, like Senator Cloud Lance, though Twilight could pick out on her hooves the number who weren’t missing a key piece or two. A couple, she realised, weren’t even wearing theirs correctly, with straps too tight or even fore and hind leg guards confused.

A pair of guards stopped them short of the risers with crossed spears. Twilight noted absently the spears were the first she’d seen tipped with steel.

“Dictator,” Cloud Lance began, standing proud front and center. He gestured to the guards to stand aside. “It has been many, many years since the ruler of the low-bourn has stood before us. Too long.”

“I agree fully,” Twilight said, with what she hoped was a welcoming smile. “It is a terrible shame that Equestria—” She caught Cloud Lance’s glare. “—I mean Cloudsdale, does not send a representative more often. There’s so much we could learn from each other.” As frowns deepened she segwayed into a complement. “What you have all built here is remarkable and your knowledge of weather up here must be unmatched.”

“Hmm, perhaps you are not as blind as your kin. There are none better that us to rule the skies... and all who dwell below it.” Cloud Lance’s eyes went distant for a moment. “Long ago, my people claimed dominion over all. Wherever there were clouds to mount a sally the pegasi ruled with hooves of stone and blades of bronze, from the edges of the earth to the biting tip of the sky. It was a golden age. Noble warriors ruled from great keeps in the sky. They had no need to ply the weather, nor dicker with merchants. Their strength was in their wings and their loyalty to their kin.”

“Sound like a cheery bunch,” Rainbow muttered, almost inaudible. Twilight shot her a look.

Cloud Lance’s gaze snapped to Twilight. “Of course, this did not last,” he spat. “They were riven by war, betrayed by their kin and chased from all but the highest of their keeps. Only we, the Stratospheric Council, keep the memory of these great ponies alive. You of mixed blood can hardly dream of the majesty they achieved and what was lost when our empire came crashing down at the hooves of the lower races.”

A low jeer swept through the crowd. Pinkie Pie pressed herself against Twilight’s flank, the comforting presence of another pony muted by their thick overcoats.

“Okay...” Twilight began, wracking her brains for some kind of common ground. “I understand you have a long and noble tradition and respect that you have... lost a lot since those days.” Though those days must have been pre-Hearth's Warming and well in excess of a thousand years. “But the world below is a very different place than it once was. Ponies have no need for blood and conquest when friendship and harmony have served everypony so much better. All ponies have such great gifts they can share.”

“We need nothing from your petty kingdom!” Cloud Lance snapped, stamping an armoured hoof.

“You’re eating apples grown by my ‘petty kingdom’,” Twilight shot back. “In fact, they’re grown by one of the most honest and brave ponies I’ve ever met.”

“Silence!” Thunder rumbled beneath the stallion’s hooves. “Understand this, half breed, the earth bound ponies are nothing compared to us. We are the Stratospheric Council and we will rule this land again. This is your chance to cast away your mixed heritage, forsake the ground and its petty squabbles and join us as we take back what is ours!”

Twilight stared, her mouth hanging open. “Excuse me?”

“You want us to attack Equestria?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, her wings spreading wide. “Are you crazy?”

“It is the place of all true pegasi,” Cloud snapped. “Do not let the horned ones deceive you of your proper place. They weave elegant lies but little else. It is our right and duty to rule over the degenerate ponies of the surface.”

“This is crazy,” Twilight said, stepping forwards. “Earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi are all special in their own way and none of them are degenerate. Equestria wants nothing but peace and friendship between all kinds of ponies. Be they alicorns.” She pointed at herself. “Pegasi.” She pointed at Rainbow Dash. “Or earth ponies.”

The room went dead silent as her hoof came to rest pointed towards Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash facehooved.

“Search her!” Cloud Lance roared.

Quick as a flash one of the guards leapt forwards and, before anypony could raise a hoof to stop him, tore the back of Pinkie Pie’s thick coat to shreds, revealing her bare back.

“Earth pony!” the cry went up across the room, filled with shock and revulsion.

“You brought one of those scum here!” Cloud continued, going purple with rage and jabbing a hoof at Sky Blade.

“Father, I didn’t know,” Blade protested, stumbling back. “She was walking on the clouds. I thought–”

“I don’t care,” Cloud screamed. “Banish her! Banish her immediately.”

“Hey, hooves off Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow snapped, leaping into the air only to find the other guard between her and Pinkie.

“Yeah, hooves off!” Pinkie protested, pushing the grabby guard away. With a sweep of his wings the guard leapt into air, but only stayed there for a moment. In a sudden explosion of movement he lashed out at the ground beneath his hooves and knocked a twenty hoof wide hole clear through the cloud.

Pinkie Pie looked down, saw that she was standing on nothing but open air, and had just enough time to say. “Uh oh.” Before gravity reasserted itself and she plummeted through the hole, screaming

“Pony-feathers!” Rainbow Dash yelled. Quick as a shot she slipped past the guards and through the gap. “I’m coming, Pinkie Pie!”

“What have you done?” Twilight demanded, rounding on the Council.

Cloud Lance’s eyes narrowed. “What is fitting. You dare bring an earth pony here? To the last bastion of true ponykind? I should banish you along along with her!”

Magic gathered at the tip of Twilight’s horn, though, for what spell she couldn’t say. Something non-lethal to wipe the smirk from the pegasi’s face ideally, though, at that moment she would have settled for something more permanent. She bit down on the urge to do something rash, however. “Perhaps you should!” She stamped a hoof. “I am the Princess of Friendship, and I have done nothing but offer you a friendly hoof. Even now I’ll still give you—begrudgingly—a chance to apologise.” Cloud Lance had the gall to look insulted. “But if you have no interest in friendship then I’ll spare you the trouble!”

Twilight turned on her heels.

“You dare not–”

She did not wait to find out what she dare not do. She stepped through the hole and was gone from the home of the Stratospheric Pegasi.




“Oh dear, I hope Pinkie Pie was quite alright,” Celestia said, her teacup held halfway to her mouth. It had been there for some time. She and Twilight sat in the palace gardens, surrounded by the delicate twitterings of songbirds and with the warmth of the sun on their back. It was a world away from the icy stillness of the Stratospheric temple.

Twilight wiped the dampness around her eyes away. “Yes, she was fine in the end,” she said, with a deep sigh. “As It turns out, twenty five thousand feet is a long way to fall and Rainbow Dash caught up in plenty of time. Actually, they're thinking of turning it into a sport.”

“Ah, well that is a relief.” Princess Celestia took a sip of tea. “At least something worked out for the best.”

“But nothing else did!” Twilight protested. “Princess—” Celestia arched an eyebrow at her. “—I mean, Celestia. What are we going to do? The Council is still up there and they hate us. I've checked our charts, Equestria’s entire economy relies on the Stratospheric’s weather work. Even if they just went on strike they could do unimaginable damage and they were talking about invading Equestria. I may have started a war!”

To Twilight’s horror, Celestia let out a delicate laugh. “Oh, Twilight. I don’t think we need to worry about that.”

“But they banished me! All of us! They weren’t in the slightest be interest in what I might have to say, just about their supposed ‘superiority’.” Twilight cup began to rattle in her magic’s grip. “They didn’t even to want to talk. They wanted me to invade Equestria, Princess! I don’t know what I supposed to do.”

“Twilight, be calm.” Celestia smiled, taking Twilight cup from her magic and refiling it from the pot. “I assure you, you are not the first to receive a cold reception from the Council, nor the first to be banished. In fact, both I and Luna were banished long ago. Cadence too, though in her case in absentia for marrying a unicorn. Luna takes it as a matter of pride, as it happens.”

Twilight stared at her. “They’re banished all of us? But, that just makes things worse. That means there’s nopony they’ll listen too! We’ve got to do something.”

“No, Twilight,” Celestia said, firmly. “There’s nothing to do.”

“But, what about the Council?” Twilight protested. “We have to–”

“No.” Celestia held up a hoof to forestall any further argument. “The Council have been an antagonistic force longer than Equestria has been united but they are all bluster in the end. I have, because of you ‘insult’—” She rolled her eyes. “—received a demand for provisions, supplicants and more weapons than are in the Canterlot armoury, including many I believe they made up. Our negotiators will argue over the price, but they’ll settle for extra rations and everything will go back to normal within a year, save for the occasional rude note.”

Taking a sip of tea she continued. “War is not an option between Equestria and the Council. We need their control over the weather, but they need us for food and supplies. The days when they could raid and pillage what they wanted are long since gone, so it will be a begrudging peace as always.”

“I... I don’t understand,” Twilight said, slumping in her seat. “They hate us, Celestia. Can’t we do anything to change that?”

“I have no desire to invade the sky, Twilight,” Celestia said, chuckling. “Nor the will. And they have no desire to join us at the table to talk. So, for now, we wait.”

Twilight shook her head, struggling to understand. “But why, Princess? Why won’t they just talk to us? What did we do that made them so angry?”

Celestia stared out across Equestria for a long moment. “The Council are the latest in a very long line of warriors, Twilight,” she began, with a melancholy sigh. “They told you of their history, correct? Well, it was true to a certain degree. Before Equestria, before Hearth's Warming, before even the Windigo Wars ponykind were far more violent. The earth ponies would fight the unicorns. The unicorns would fight the pegasi. And the pegasi would fight... well, pretty much anything that moved slowly enough for them to get a good buck in.”

She paused to refill her teacup. “And in those violent times the Stratospheric Council were the finest warriors the world had ever seen, which gave them the ability to rule with an iron hoof. They never realised that it was their hatred that fuelled the Windigos, even as it destroyed their great empires. As hatred chilled the world the moderate pegasi, under the command of a young renegade whose name you might recall, Hurricane, rose up against the Council and chased them to the furthest reaches of the sky. And that is where they have remained until this day, plotting vengeance, spouting vitriol and doing nothing, because there is nothing they can do. They aren't mighty warriors any more, Twilight, just children playing the role, because they know how to do nothing else.”

“So, fix this?” Twilight asked, hesitantly. “Do we send them books, or teachers?”

“Such efforts have been tried and such efforts have failed” Celestia said, with a sad smile. “I’m sad to say that there’s nothing left for us to do.”

“But what about diplomacy? What about friendship?” She paused, frowning. “Come to think of it, could we just turn the Elements on them?”

Celestia laughed. “I fear that would end with a large number of falling pegasi statues. Which would perhaps be a little dangerous to those walking below.” She shook her head. “No Twilight, friendship and magic can only be a solution when a pony is willing to meet you halfway, and the Stratospheric Council is not. For now, we have to continue on as we alway have.”

“Which means...?” Twilight pressed.

Celestia looked up. Wispy high altitude clouds drifted across the sky far above their heads. “Wait and hope. And always be ready to offer a hoof in friendship. For one day they will come down, and we will welcome them as long lost friends when they do.”




Pinkie Pie hummed happily to herself as she sketched. Falling through the sky had been super fun, but also scary. Maybe even super fun because it had been scary and just for a moment she’d worried that Rainbow Dash wouldn’t have made it in time to save her. As such she’d set to work on a brand new invention. So far it was just a really, really big umbrella, but she was sure that with enough tents stitched together she could find a way to make it so that earth ponies no longer had to fear falling. Or at least, going splat.

A sudden rap at her window—or as Pinkie liked to call them, pegasus doors—startled her out of her inventing furge. “Come in!” she called.

A long beat passed and then the knocking came again.

Shrugging, Pinkie Pie pronked over to the window and threw it opened. There was a startled squawk from outside and Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened as she found Sky Blade hovering outside. The pegasus was wide eyed and twitchy, as if at any moment he expected to be attacked or worse. Every little thing seemed to send a fresh shudder of surprise through him, from the sound of ponies on the street to the creek of Pinkie’s windowframe.

“Oh hi, Blade,” Pinkie exclaimed, smiling broadly. “What are you doing down here?”

“I... um.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “I felt I should make sure you were okay after you, ah, fall.”

“All present and correct,” Pinkie bounced in place as a demonstration. “It helps when you have a friend to catch you. It's sweet that you asked, though. I knew you were a softie at heart.” Blade frowned, seemingly unsure if that was a compliment. “Did you like your cupcake?”

Blade gave a jerky nod. “Oh, ah, yes very much so. Although, it disappeared quickly when I shared it around.”

“Yeah, they’re slippery suckers,” Pinkie agreed. “Especially in a room full of hungry foals. Would you like to come in for another?”

Blade froze, dropping a few feet before he could sort his wings out. “Ah, well, no I don’t think so,” he said, hurriedly, regarding Sugarcube Corner with naked fear and more than a little confusion. “Another time. Maybe. Goodbye, Pinkie Pie. It is good to see you whole.”

With a snap he pumped his wings harder and before Pinkie could get a word in a mere blue dot high above, quickly lost in the vastness of the sky.

Pinkie smiled and, humming a happy, tune went back to her sketches. She had a feeling she’d just made a friend.
« Prev   7   Next »
#1 · 2
·
Oh my. That’s quite an opening.

Not sure how to fell about Twilight’s enthusiasm. She can be distracted by new knowledge and new possibilities for friendship, yes, but it takes a unique thick-headedness to miss the very obvious belligerence on display. Especially after she had such high hopes for the yaks.

The establishing scene of the temple is wonderfully atmospheric, if you’ll pardon the pun. The bit with the cupcake was especially nice, a good way to show that under all the bluster and calcified tradition, they’re still ponies.

This was quite nice all around, a wonderful bit of world-building and a good blend of hope and tragedy. Thank you for it.
#2 · 1
·
I liked this story quite a bit, but there are a number of spelling/grammar errors. They may just be typos, but they were frequent enough to distract me. The plot of the story, however, was excellent. The scene with Pinkie Pie at the end was probably my favorite part: it was where change really came into play. I thought Twilight in particular was excellently written throughout the story, and I enjoyed your portrayal of Celestia as well.
#3 · 4
·
Besides the grammatical and typographical problems (which are a recurring problem that goes beyond just minor errors missed in proofreading), this story was a joy to read. If I had any suggestion in particular, it'd be that you do more to justify Pinkie's presence. She's the lynchpin here. Give her a reason to be there in the first place. It's just a little too convenient as is.

Pinkie Pie is the key to all of this. If you can get Pinkie working. Because she's a funnier character than we've had in any of the other stories.
#4 ·
·
I can't really think of anything that was necessarily wrong with this story, but I also didn't find it very engaging or enjoyable. I think this is another case of a perfectly good author writing a perfectly good story that was simply not meant for me. If you held a gun to my head and forced me to tell you what I didn't like about this story, I might say that the entire second half was predictable or that I just couldn't stand the Council, but I also don't think that those reasons are an adequate explanation. I think it just comes down to "not my thing."
#5 · 1
· · >>FrontSevens
Oh hey, another story I can make a comparison with the story I just read. Where The Day the God of Time Stopped by for Tea didn't seek to do much with the metaphor it presented, this story's set-up tries to fully examine the situations of the premise reflect the real world and detail how those cultural walls that separate us can be broken down. Perhaps I am reaching a bit here, but the latter half of this story seems to be a veiled commentary on the Middle East or at the very least, political isolationism and the clashing of two cultures, one that does not accept the other, which I think is interesting and effective.

Nonetheless, I feel we spend far too much time with the immensely hostile council and the longevity and intensity of their animosity is pounded into our brains that by the conclusion, it doesn't feel earned that Pinkie wins over Blade so easily.

The opening line had me rolling my eyes, but the depth of the prose and characterization of the Stratospheric pegasi was enough to sell my on the author's style. Nicely constructed prose and some subtle moments and oddly enough, the only point where the story seems to drag is when the Stratospheric Council is further concreting the nature of their fanatical racism.

Some minor issues about Twilight's immediate responses, the decision to take only Pinkie and Rainbow, the reasoning behind their inclusion, and straightforward exposition take away from the story, but not terribly in any regard.

Opinion: Above Average, with expansion and some cutting back on some redundancy, could be Excellent
#6 · 1
·
This was a good, episode-like slice of life story. For the most part, I enjoyed it. It made for an interesting lesson and a nice end there.

I think the author’s decision not to involve the entire main six is a good one. Rainbow Dash was a skeptical voice and Pinkie was an optimistic voice, and both contributed to the plot. Any more and I think the story would’ve lacked focus. Sometimes the show writers don’t realize they’re just dragging the main six along in some episodes for no reason but the sake of having everyone present.

I do think the hostility and contempt of the tribe was beaten in too much, as >>ShortNSweet points out. I think it could stand to be cut back a bit, perhaps in the middle of the story. There were typos as well and some missing commas, and the jokes are a bit meh sometimes. Otherwise, this was aight. Not great but not bad either.
#7 · 2
·
Okay... typos. A lot of typos. Many are common enough I can read past them quickly, (the classic "there" instead of "their") but some were odd enough I wasn't sure if the author was inventing a new word. Twilight, at one point, "kiddled her horn" and it took me a bit of thinking before I realized the right word was "kindled." So yes, enough to be distracting and an issue.

However, I am genuinely surprised by how well written it is otherwise. Normally, with this many basic grammatical mistakes, other larger issues of form and style usually crop up. Not so much so here. It was quite well crafted on a technical level once you get past the things a spellcheck can fix.

The larger issues I did encounter were in roughly four parts:

1. Why? Why is Twilight ruling cloudsdale? Why is it only Dash and Pinkie that go with her? Why does no one else explain who the "Stratospheric Council" are before hand?

2. It's too long. The flight up to the temple takes far too long for the little amount of new information it gives the reader. Sky Blade basically says "I'm not telling you anything" and then the standard racist diatribe, "We are the best!" The whole segment could've been shortened by half and not lost anything.

3. It's very anvilicious. While this story does a great job painting in pony terminology, the underlying story here just screams "war in the middle east" and the other associated baggage that goes along with this. It's bad enough at the start, but when Twilight talks to Celestia towards the end, it's even more hammer-heavy. Twilight literally suggested education as a fix. Something many of us "literati" think would fix the middle east. Celestia takes the reasonable-but-boring line the West seems to always take. "Oh, we can't fix it, because it's too much hate, so we have to have patience."

4. Pinkie is Pinkie. This is actually almost a positive and a negative really. When Sky Blade reacts positively to the cupcake, we all knew Pinkie made a new friend. At the end, when he "checks" on her, that's really the main redeeming part of this story. Ponies can change, and Pinkie's friendship offering helped to do that. This is... well, it's actually good overall. The problem is that, woven into the story the way it is at the end, it comes across more as an excuse rather than a raison d'etre.


So to summarize, I think this could be about 50% shorter, and focus more directly on tying the intro (an angry and uppity pegasus appears) and the end (Pinkie knows even the most angry of pokemon pegasi love cupcakes.) Those are the emotional keys to the story, and the backstory/history, while interesting on a technical level, is mostly a distraction from the personal level.

Overall, I'd say this isn't my favorite of the contest, but it's still strong, especially for its intent. And premise. The underlying premise, I almost forgot to mention, of ancient hidden pegasi in the upper atmosphere... that's brilliant!