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Intubated
Flipped off like a light
Come to in doubly strange room
Tubes and wires reduce me to numbers
As the saline comes to succor me
In quantum portions
Steady splashless ripples
To join my inner flow
Come to in doubly strange room
Tubes and wires reduce me to numbers
As the saline comes to succor me
In quantum portions
Steady splashless ripples
To join my inner flow
Sorry this round went by without me noticing it, and there's already another imminent. Oh well, I can still leave comments.
Hm, intubation normally refers to breathing tubes, right? Yet the poem speaks more to an IV line. Very thematic with the prompt, making me wonder whether you were the one who submitted the prompt. I never really have much to say about free verse, since any structural decisions will seem pretty arbitrary to a reader. (Despite knowing this as a reader myself, I've experienced it from the other side as well by submitting poetry to contests. It's very hard to impress judges with free verse.) So really the most I can say is that I like the atmosphere created.
Hm, intubation normally refers to breathing tubes, right? Yet the poem speaks more to an IV line. Very thematic with the prompt, making me wonder whether you were the one who submitted the prompt. I never really have much to say about free verse, since any structural decisions will seem pretty arbitrary to a reader. (Despite knowing this as a reader myself, I've experienced it from the other side as well by submitting poetry to contests. It's very hard to impress judges with free verse.) So really the most I can say is that I like the atmosphere created.