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I'm certainly guilty of stretching meter for limericks at times. Strictly, they're supposed to use anapests, but I've forced them into amphibrachs before. This is kind of mixed.
As to fitting the form, it works fine enough. I feel like there's a joke that's going over my head, though. I don't know what the significance of a giraffe named Clyde would be.
As to fitting the form, it works fine enough. I feel like there's a joke that's going over my head, though. I don't know what the significance of a giraffe named Clyde would be.
And I feel like this is really going over my head, too. I don't know what the last line means, and up until then I got the vague sense that the story was about gentrification and people stressing about what the good part of town to live in was. Rhyme scheme is all clean, and the rhythm is irregular, but I think it's supposed to be.
I can get two meanings out of this, and I don't know which the author intended. Maybe both? In one, it feels like someone overwhelmed with creative ideas and having to decide which ones to prioritize. On the other, it speaks to me as someone who used to feel like this but is now lamenting a lack of inspiration anymore. The way "stop" terminates before the other lines in its position do is a nice visual trick.
I can think of three giraffes in the Giraffe Canon named Clyde--which is not twenty, but still a lot!
>>Pascoite
Creation w/o Limits
Thanks for your kind review!
At the time I wrote this, I was immersed in an art project which was subject to feature creep; I had a lot of neat ideas but had to rethink them and restrict what would actually go into it if I wanted it to be finished in a reasonable time. (I also had to limit myself to very short works for this round, consequently.) This both expressed my frustration and reminded me of the sort of discipline I needed to practice to succeed.
Thanks again!
Creation w/o Limits
Thanks for your kind review!
At the time I wrote this, I was immersed in an art project which was subject to feature creep; I had a lot of neat ideas but had to rethink them and restrict what would actually go into it if I wanted it to be finished in a reasonable time. (I also had to limit myself to very short works for this round, consequently.) This both expressed my frustration and reminded me of the sort of discipline I needed to practice to succeed.
Thanks again!
>>Pascoite, >>Heavy_Mole
I Like to Look Up at Them
This was mainly an exercise in constructing a limerick with rhymes for 'plenty'. It is otherwise silly nonsense. Thanks for reading!
I Like to Look Up at Them
This was mainly an exercise in constructing a limerick with rhymes for 'plenty'. It is otherwise silly nonsense. Thanks for reading!
>>Pascoite
This is poem is about my return home to southern Louisiana after Hurricane Ida. I had been in the north visiting family on FMLA, and the storm struck on the weekend I was supposed to come back, on the sixteenth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.
The damage situation placed an intense demand on municipal workers, who in turn embodied a collective need for everything to be replaced 'all at once'.
If I had to re-submit, I would probably re-title it 'After Ida'.
This is poem is about my return home to southern Louisiana after Hurricane Ida. I had been in the north visiting family on FMLA, and the storm struck on the weekend I was supposed to come back, on the sixteenth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.
The damage situation placed an intense demand on municipal workers, who in turn embodied a collective need for everything to be replaced 'all at once'.
If I had to re-submit, I would probably re-title it 'After Ida'.