Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Riteoff
Chaoschat Log, Riteoff server:
Crassius
Anyone getting anywhere on the rituals for quantum bifurcation?
Dao
Still working on long-distance teleports. D:
Crassius
Do you even rift, Dao? Your horn privileges are hereby revoked.
Cornaspella
Prompt’s up for the next round!
All Fallen
At last, something new to relieve the pain of existence.
A. Moose
What is it?
Cornaspella
“Shine While the Sun Makes Hay”
A. Moose
...
Cornaspella
Getting my spell-drafting quills ready.
DrearyDullApathy
I’m sitting this one out. See you in the sigils round.
Sylphen Cert turned aside from the chatscreen and looked to the curtained window, through which hints of the morning sun shone in little streams that glimmered with floating dust motes. Celestia had done it again, created another instance of the daily work of art, just as she had Done It Again over and over for thousands of years… There was nothing new. What must be running through her mind at this point? The ultimate artist, who yet had to churn out endless copies of her great creation--could she be taking pleasure in this act any more, at this point?
“Another fricking sun-based prompt, how original.” With a sigh, Sylphen grabbed a box of fresh quills, extracted one, and clipped the end with a precise snip of horn mana. Dipping it in the inkwell, Sylphen considered the mystic symbols as they drifted in and out of clear conscious focus. What kind of quality spell could you produce from a prompt like this? In two days, no less? Well, it had been done before.
Sylphen took up a piece of scrap parchment and jotted notes, then connected words at random to see if they sparked any interesting ideas. That one showed some promise; Celestia as a literal farmer, not just giving the energy to plants to enable them to follow the Earth pony’s directives, but tilling the fields herself as the grasses rose around her. Perhaps a rite to enable unicorns to channel mana from sunlight and cause the grass to grow? It’d have to be done with some tact and sensitivity, it wouldn’t do to have Earths complaining about Unicorns literally encroaching on their turf.
But was this a good enough idea to meet Riteoff standards, and win a medal? Was it bronze material, let alone gold?
Sylphen put down the quill and breathed deeply, eyes falling on that article in Dweomer Days journal about speed-spellcrafting. It was always possible that it held advice that would give a decisive edge. It made sense to finish the article off now so as not to be too distracted later.
Three hours later, the journal had been read cover to cover, some interesting ads were bookmarked, and true inspiration hadn’t come yet and it was almost lunchtime. Might as well take a break and see if the fresh air and the friendly environs at the corner cafe made a difference.
A fresh salad assuaged hunger but provided little inspiration, though Sylphen was able to test a small incantation that used the ambient sunlight to make the spinach leaves greener. This was an excellent sign. Sylphen paid the tab and headed home, whistling, thinking of where to continue research. There was a small field outside town, a good place to work in the sunshine—
“Hey, Sylf!” shouted Meandering Trails, bosom chum and gaming buddy. “Got an hour? We’re helping a buddy of mine to move to a new apartment, and then we’re gonna grab some pizza afterward.”
“I’d love to help, but I’ve got another riting thing going on.”
“Oh? That’s cool. what are you doing for this one?”
“I’m—” Sylphen stared into Meander’s open, honest Earth pony face, trying to figure out how to explain his concept without it sounding like tribal appropriation. “You know what, I could use a bit of exercise, anyway. I’ll come and help.”
And so it went, all that day and all the next.
By the night before deadline, Sylphen Cert stood in a secluded grassy glen, shuffling eight pieces of parchment paper with ritual symbols partly inscribed. Most of them were crumpled. Sylphen had meanwhile racked up a pretty impressive score in MageCraft and was number seventeen in the Equestrian leaderboard. He didn’t know what it took to rise higher than that; he was sure that some of these other players didn’t have jobs, or lives, or the need to sleep.
Speaking of the need to sleep, it was fast approaching. Luna’s moon was high in the sky overhead and the brilliant moonbeans shone on the blue-tinged grassblades. Sylphen’s supplications last night had produced no keen inspiration to feed his dreams, no visit from the Night Princess to bestow some fragment of guiding light... but she was another sort of artist altogether, one who remained in the background unless you took the care to look and discover those interesting surprises she’s included on her canvas to tantalize and draw the eye deeper… Maybe a bit of stargazing would help, or even a few hours of sleep…
No. This was it, if nothing got done now, there would be no entry at all. Sylphen took up the parchment that held the original idea from yesterday, half torn and crumpled over and over, and set to it again, forcing glowing symbols to the parchment with desperate scrawls from the fluttering quill, link by link.
With blurry eyes from staying up all night, Sylphen Cert saw the dawn yet again, streaming through the trees. Celestia made it all seem so effortless, creating something inspiring each day, and alway fresh and radiant. What if she had something new to deal with each time, as in the days when Chaos was lord? What if the sun was square sometimes, or the light came in little wriggly packets instead of big lovely sunbeams? How would she deal with that?
Maybe the secret was not trying to be original? Just doing what you did best over and over, and letting time hone your craft to its brilliant essentials? But who aside of an Alicorn had time to do that?
Sylphen was exhausted with trying to cast the rite over and over using moonlight, and the grass had stayed distressingly the same. But the deadline was close, it was now or never. There was just time for a quick review using the nascent sunlight, eliminating sparks and paper-burning feedback wherever it arose, cursing quietly as horn fatigue set in that would guarantee a headache all day… And activating the dragonfire submit sigil at five minutes after the last possible second.
And then the waiting. And the reviews, each one with a ding as the little bell at the top of the screen turned red.
RitingSprint
Set my tail on fire. Didn’t you even try to cast this thing before submitting it?
Pasofinite
A potentially brilliant concept, but would have benefited from even one more day of spellcrafting.
Crassius
[Rant on proper symbology linkage for building mana reserves within spell structures, longer than the rite itself.]
Sky’s Edge
Considering how sensitive Earth ponies are on this topic, I’m surprised you even went here. I’m going to have to bottom slate it on this consideration alone.
CaféMinyan
Genre: Watching the grass grow. Interminably...
1 ⦿ Sky’s Edge
.....Fields of Gold
2 ⦿ Bold in Our Days
.....Tales About People
3 ⦿ Pillar Plus
.....The Unseen Spellwork
4 Duokeras
.....So Close, I Can Taste
5 Angel Angora
.....From Nothing, Life
.
.
.
147 Maress
.....Increasing Confusion
148 Sylphen Cert
.....Untitled Ritual
Crassius
Anyone getting anywhere on the rituals for quantum bifurcation?
Dao
Still working on long-distance teleports. D:
Crassius
Do you even rift, Dao? Your horn privileges are hereby revoked.
Cornaspella
Prompt’s up for the next round!
All Fallen
At last, something new to relieve the pain of existence.
A. Moose
What is it?
Cornaspella
“Shine While the Sun Makes Hay”
A. Moose
...
Cornaspella
Getting my spell-drafting quills ready.
DrearyDullApathy
I’m sitting this one out. See you in the sigils round.
Sylphen Cert turned aside from the chatscreen and looked to the curtained window, through which hints of the morning sun shone in little streams that glimmered with floating dust motes. Celestia had done it again, created another instance of the daily work of art, just as she had Done It Again over and over for thousands of years… There was nothing new. What must be running through her mind at this point? The ultimate artist, who yet had to churn out endless copies of her great creation--could she be taking pleasure in this act any more, at this point?
“Another fricking sun-based prompt, how original.” With a sigh, Sylphen grabbed a box of fresh quills, extracted one, and clipped the end with a precise snip of horn mana. Dipping it in the inkwell, Sylphen considered the mystic symbols as they drifted in and out of clear conscious focus. What kind of quality spell could you produce from a prompt like this? In two days, no less? Well, it had been done before.
Sylphen took up a piece of scrap parchment and jotted notes, then connected words at random to see if they sparked any interesting ideas. That one showed some promise; Celestia as a literal farmer, not just giving the energy to plants to enable them to follow the Earth pony’s directives, but tilling the fields herself as the grasses rose around her. Perhaps a rite to enable unicorns to channel mana from sunlight and cause the grass to grow? It’d have to be done with some tact and sensitivity, it wouldn’t do to have Earths complaining about Unicorns literally encroaching on their turf.
But was this a good enough idea to meet Riteoff standards, and win a medal? Was it bronze material, let alone gold?
Sylphen put down the quill and breathed deeply, eyes falling on that article in Dweomer Days journal about speed-spellcrafting. It was always possible that it held advice that would give a decisive edge. It made sense to finish the article off now so as not to be too distracted later.
Three hours later, the journal had been read cover to cover, some interesting ads were bookmarked, and true inspiration hadn’t come yet and it was almost lunchtime. Might as well take a break and see if the fresh air and the friendly environs at the corner cafe made a difference.
A fresh salad assuaged hunger but provided little inspiration, though Sylphen was able to test a small incantation that used the ambient sunlight to make the spinach leaves greener. This was an excellent sign. Sylphen paid the tab and headed home, whistling, thinking of where to continue research. There was a small field outside town, a good place to work in the sunshine—
“Hey, Sylf!” shouted Meandering Trails, bosom chum and gaming buddy. “Got an hour? We’re helping a buddy of mine to move to a new apartment, and then we’re gonna grab some pizza afterward.”
“I’d love to help, but I’ve got another riting thing going on.”
“Oh? That’s cool. what are you doing for this one?”
“I’m—” Sylphen stared into Meander’s open, honest Earth pony face, trying to figure out how to explain his concept without it sounding like tribal appropriation. “You know what, I could use a bit of exercise, anyway. I’ll come and help.”
And so it went, all that day and all the next.
By the night before deadline, Sylphen Cert stood in a secluded grassy glen, shuffling eight pieces of parchment paper with ritual symbols partly inscribed. Most of them were crumpled. Sylphen had meanwhile racked up a pretty impressive score in MageCraft and was number seventeen in the Equestrian leaderboard. He didn’t know what it took to rise higher than that; he was sure that some of these other players didn’t have jobs, or lives, or the need to sleep.
Speaking of the need to sleep, it was fast approaching. Luna’s moon was high in the sky overhead and the brilliant moonbeans shone on the blue-tinged grassblades. Sylphen’s supplications last night had produced no keen inspiration to feed his dreams, no visit from the Night Princess to bestow some fragment of guiding light... but she was another sort of artist altogether, one who remained in the background unless you took the care to look and discover those interesting surprises she’s included on her canvas to tantalize and draw the eye deeper… Maybe a bit of stargazing would help, or even a few hours of sleep…
No. This was it, if nothing got done now, there would be no entry at all. Sylphen took up the parchment that held the original idea from yesterday, half torn and crumpled over and over, and set to it again, forcing glowing symbols to the parchment with desperate scrawls from the fluttering quill, link by link.
With blurry eyes from staying up all night, Sylphen Cert saw the dawn yet again, streaming through the trees. Celestia made it all seem so effortless, creating something inspiring each day, and alway fresh and radiant. What if she had something new to deal with each time, as in the days when Chaos was lord? What if the sun was square sometimes, or the light came in little wriggly packets instead of big lovely sunbeams? How would she deal with that?
Maybe the secret was not trying to be original? Just doing what you did best over and over, and letting time hone your craft to its brilliant essentials? But who aside of an Alicorn had time to do that?
Sylphen was exhausted with trying to cast the rite over and over using moonlight, and the grass had stayed distressingly the same. But the deadline was close, it was now or never. There was just time for a quick review using the nascent sunlight, eliminating sparks and paper-burning feedback wherever it arose, cursing quietly as horn fatigue set in that would guarantee a headache all day… And activating the dragonfire submit sigil at five minutes after the last possible second.
And then the waiting. And the reviews, each one with a ding as the little bell at the top of the screen turned red.
RitingSprint
Set my tail on fire. Didn’t you even try to cast this thing before submitting it?
Pasofinite
A potentially brilliant concept, but would have benefited from even one more day of spellcrafting.
Crassius
[Rant on proper symbology linkage for building mana reserves within spell structures, longer than the rite itself.]
Sky’s Edge
Considering how sensitive Earth ponies are on this topic, I’m surprised you even went here. I’m going to have to bottom slate it on this consideration alone.
CaféMinyan
Genre: Watching the grass grow. Interminably...
1 ⦿ Sky’s Edge
.....Fields of Gold
2 ⦿ Bold in Our Days
.....Tales About People
3 ⦿ Pillar Plus
.....The Unseen Spellwork
4 Duokeras
.....So Close, I Can Taste
5 Angel Angora
.....From Nothing, Life
.
.
.
147 Maress
.....Increasing Confusion
148 Sylphen Cert
.....Untitled Ritual
There is nothing so dull as a story about the angst in struggling to write.
While the self-references are extremely nuanced, the fact that it was self-referential to the writeoff was another major turn-off for me.
As for exploring the feeling of being unable to create... watching a character mope about trying to think of anything is hardly riveting. I see a missed opportunity of engaging between characters to explore their situation.
While the self-references are extremely nuanced, the fact that it was self-referential to the writeoff was another major turn-off for me.
As for exploring the feeling of being unable to create... watching a character mope about trying to think of anything is hardly riveting. I see a missed opportunity of engaging between characters to explore their situation.
Genre: Metamagic
Thoughts: Geez man, it's not often that I get called out for my schtick. This brought an absolutely solid chuckle:
There are other great moments in here that riff on the ways my fellow Writeoff participants tend to speak or interact in the Discord chat. Speaking of which, however, a couple nights ago several of us were discussing this in Discord, and there was some uncertainty about the "goodness" per se of going so heavily meta. I'm definitely a bit charmed by it, but I'll acknowledge that the decision limits some of the universality of those parts of the story. Author, you clearly know your audience, and I have to give credit for using that to your advantage.
The middle section has a bit more universality, though. Quite a bit more. This was another thing we were kicking around a few nights ago: the experience of coming back to the well (as it were) and sitting down to write, again, even though you've already written tons of stuff before. Can I just call this bit out cuz I love it?
I feel that. And yet, I'm glad the story explores that instead of just leaving it sitting there. We all come back to our creative pursuits and create even though there's struggle and challenge and more than a bit of surface futility in doing so. I very much like how this story captures that experience and struggle, even if it does so under a mode of meta. The only real thing it's missing is a delve into the why. What keeps bringing us back? Yes, the "doing what you did best over and over, and letting time hone your craft to its brilliant essentials" line reaches in this direction, but it comes as such a short moment relative to the larger questions.
I dunno. The quality of prose is high, and the humor was on-point. I'm glad this was submitted.
Tier: Almost There
Thoughts: Geez man, it's not often that I get called out for my schtick. This brought an absolutely solid chuckle:
CaféMinyan
Genre: Watching the grass grow. Interminably...
There are other great moments in here that riff on the ways my fellow Writeoff participants tend to speak or interact in the Discord chat. Speaking of which, however, a couple nights ago several of us were discussing this in Discord, and there was some uncertainty about the "goodness" per se of going so heavily meta. I'm definitely a bit charmed by it, but I'll acknowledge that the decision limits some of the universality of those parts of the story. Author, you clearly know your audience, and I have to give credit for using that to your advantage.
The middle section has a bit more universality, though. Quite a bit more. This was another thing we were kicking around a few nights ago: the experience of coming back to the well (as it were) and sitting down to write, again, even though you've already written tons of stuff before. Can I just call this bit out cuz I love it?
Celestia had done it again, created another instance of the daily work of art, just as she had Done It Again over and over for thousands of years… There was nothing new. What must be running through her mind at this point? The ultimate artist, who yet had to churn out endless copies of her great creation--could she be taking pleasure in this act any more, at this point?
I feel that. And yet, I'm glad the story explores that instead of just leaving it sitting there. We all come back to our creative pursuits and create even though there's struggle and challenge and more than a bit of surface futility in doing so. I very much like how this story captures that experience and struggle, even if it does so under a mode of meta. The only real thing it's missing is a delve into the why. What keeps bringing us back? Yes, the "doing what you did best over and over, and letting time hone your craft to its brilliant essentials" line reaches in this direction, but it comes as such a short moment relative to the larger questions.
I dunno. The quality of prose is high, and the humor was on-point. I'm glad this was submitted.
Tier: Almost There
Meta, man!
This reminds me a lot of the self-referential nature of Broadway plays. The payoff is best if you've lived in that world for awhile and gotten to know the people in it. While this works well for the writeoff.me crowd (where there is essentially zero outside audience beyond our fellow writers), the real test would be to put this in front of, say, someone on fimfic who's never heard of the writeoff before and see if the story (if not the references) made sense.
Again, the story itself is geared towards creative types. And while I'm unsure how well it would do outside that crowd, I think as someone in that crowd that you did a great job!
This reminds me a lot of the self-referential nature of Broadway plays. The payoff is best if you've lived in that world for awhile and gotten to know the people in it. While this works well for the writeoff.me crowd (where there is essentially zero outside audience beyond our fellow writers), the real test would be to put this in front of, say, someone on fimfic who's never heard of the writeoff before and see if the story (if not the references) made sense.
Again, the story itself is geared towards creative types. And while I'm unsure how well it would do outside that crowd, I think as someone in that crowd that you did a great job!