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It's tommorrow now!
the moon is a harsh mistress
but nothing compared to the sun
still, without their hard touch and indifferent dance
the world would be a dead or boring place
though we be doomed to be dependent on our first mother
for we make our own reasons
yours, mines and theirs
there are plenty of other stars out in this dark sea
still nothing will replace the lose
at least in our hearts
when the time comes to find another
and sail with the new moon tide to a new lover
but nothing compared to the sun
still, without their hard touch and indifferent dance
the world would be a dead or boring place
though we be doomed to be dependent on our first mother
for we make our own reasons
yours, mines and theirs
there are plenty of other stars out in this dark sea
still nothing will replace the lose
at least in our hearts
when the time comes to find another
and sail with the new moon tide to a new lover
Another one where I'm having trouble figuring out what's happened. I think it's likening the transition between romances to the sun and moon exchanging places, but I was never clear on the context for it. The narrator asserts that the moon is bad but the sun is worse, but then never backs that up, so I just have to take his word for it.
The middle stanza was the meatiest, as it starts up an interesting thought about how we can't choose our family, at least not our biological one. That seems like a disjoint topic from the more obvious theme of romance, and I'm not sure what they have to do with each other. I think "lose" was supposed to be "loss."
I liked most of these poems about the same. There wasn't a clear outlier for me, either good or bad.
The middle stanza was the meatiest, as it starts up an interesting thought about how we can't choose our family, at least not our biological one. That seems like a disjoint topic from the more obvious theme of romance, and I'm not sure what they have to do with each other. I think "lose" was supposed to be "loss."
I liked most of these poems about the same. There wasn't a clear outlier for me, either good or bad.
The poem seems wistful and regretful that we must leave our home and journey into the unknown. Even if we don’t know when it will happen there’s still something sad about leaving home. I like that theme.
It could stand to be more assertive. Especially with a piece of poetry like this you don’t have to be making statements of fact but can rather make statements of opinion. The phrase “dead or boring” seems a little indecisive, even if it is factual.
Nice poem! Very spoken-word-esque.
It could stand to be more assertive. Especially with a piece of poetry like this you don’t have to be making statements of fact but can rather make statements of opinion. The phrase “dead or boring” seems a little indecisive, even if it is factual.
Nice poem! Very spoken-word-esque.
To sail beyond the sunset
is the distant dream
to fare among the stars
from fiery solar cradle
seeking, somewhere,
Time enough for love
is the distant dream
to fare among the stars
from fiery solar cradle
seeking, somewhere,
Time enough for love