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I Did My Best · Original Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
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Cages
Jonathan passed his front door, and he heard the familiar jostling sound of the mailman bumbling up his steps. He stopped and placed his hand under the mailslot. He waited, absently checking the weather app on his phone. Another cloudy day.

Two envelopes fell into his hand, which he tossed onto the kitchen counter. He picked an apple from the fruit bowl and, halfway through his first bite, there came a scrunching sound at the door. He watched a third envelope, filled close to bursting, force its way into the house and fall to the floor, facing up. His address was stamped on the front by a typewriter, and above it, the name Gloria, written in large flowing letters that were even more precise than the address.

Jonathan finished his bite calmly, chewed, swallowed, and picked up the envelope. He had to squint to read the return address.

Curtis W. Hall Correctional Institution





Gloria,

I was told to write in a journal, but I really don’t like that idea. I don’t get what’s the point of writing shit down if its not addressed to nobody. And I’m sure as hell not gonna start writing Dear Diary in this thing, so I’m just gonna put your name at the top cause I’ve never had any trouble talking to you.

I’m not supposed to talk about what happened, what I did, what I didn’t do, that kinda stuff. No past here, this is a present and future kind of deal, and that’s cool, you know I’m thinking that’s a good idea cause this paper is kinda thin and if I start writing about the stuff that already happened I might tear it and have to start over.

But I do wanna say sorry a little. Sorry for the text messages. Sorry I’m in here. Sorry about everything. Yeah I should stop.


You know they don’t warn you about how cold it is in here. I was talking to this guy, he sleeps above me, goes by the name Toby, and he said he used to do renovations for peoples houses and he told me that walls made outta concrete make for really horseshit temperature barriers. Can you believe that? What a thing to say, “horseshit temperature barrier”. So I asked him how good the bars were at keeping the cold out and he asked me if I was some kinda dumbass. I don’t think he knew I was messing with him.

Toby’s a freak, Gloria. He’s bald and he’s like 70 and he’s got this big gut that’s worn and leathery like a punching bag. So I guess you get fed really well here.

Seems nice enough though

Damn Gloria. I see why they made me do write in a journal. This is already helping.

You know I was told to forget you. Can you believe these guys?

They told me to think about what I’m gonna do when I get out which is funny trying to think of where you’ll be in 46 years. It was hard enough when you get asked about 5 years from now in job interviews and stuff, you know?

I said I’d take the first flight to Ireland. Toby tells me its nice. You know the way he described it reminded me of you.

Hope everythings good.
Eli.




Gloria,

Today wasn’t a good day. I actually thought I was okay after the last thing I wrote to you, and looking back, yeah, I seem okay with shit. But I’m seriously fuckin not okay.

I got roughed up a bit when I first came here. But you know me, I’m a fuckin champion. So I gave them more hell than I got, that’s for fuckin sure.

But I got jumped today. Six of the fuckers, all of em bald with the same shitty snake tattoos, they cornered me in the fuckin boiler room and just started laying into me. I held them off real good but they got so many hits in and even though I put two of them down I just stopped. I sat down in the floor and just let em hit me til the guards finally came in and started to do their jobs.

This is why your names up there. This is the type of thing I could only say to you.

You remember when I told you I was afraid of fighting Vazquez? I kicked his ass thanks to your pep talk. I was fuckin charged, a real live wire. There’s somethin about using my fists that always makes me look forward to whoever’s next. Vazquez first, next up, god himself. I don’t care. Bring him on.

But this time was different. I just went back to my bed and I cried. Gloria why was I so mad? What’s wrong with me?

Thanks for listening.
Eli.




Gloria,

You’re not gonna believe this.

Toby’s been here awhile right, and one day I was comin back from a session with the doctors, and he said man you gotta come with me to drama class. Drama class? I only went cuz I thought I misheard him, right? Like no way there’s just a high school hiding in here somewhere but he seems excited so I go with him. Is there math and biology too? Sex ed?

So he shows me this poster on the bulletin board in the lunch hall and sure enough, theres this page callin for some of us to join their fuckin Shakespear play. He said they were about to have their first session of the new class where there ain’t no auditions and they just talk about the play today so I thought why not, right?

So drama class is run by this nice girl, big smile and long hair, she’s one of the first girls I seen in months and I can’t believe they let her in here with all of us, but there she is, all sweet and sincere and a coupla guys are scoffing and so am I but she just goes on talking like she owns the room.

She says they’re going back to her favorite play, one called macbeth. And they had us split off into groups and read some lines and they had little notes in the “margins” of the book and people walkin around talking about what the characters are thinkin and what they’re after and stuff. I should slow down a little.

I got to be this guy banquo first, right? And he’s this hardcore friend of Mac’s whose always got his back and shit. Just a great guy, right? And he’s got this son that he really looks up to or has high hopes for I guess and this guys just a really nice dad.

Fuck, I dunno. I guess I was alright being someone else for a second.

Eli.




Gloria, let me tell you about my boy william.

This guy’s from a hundred years ago, right? And I dunno if things were the same back then as they are now, or if william’s just a genius who could see the future, but he’s just got it. Like I get it.

Cause Mac just wants control. That’s all he really wants and when I said it that nice girl in drama class, her name is Gretchen by the way, she just nodded and listened to me and asked why I thought that and I just keep talking, right. Talking about how Mac doesn’t think what’s happened to him is right and when he sees a way to take control of the situation, like of course he’s gonna go for it right? It’s straight up human instinct.

I think some of what I said wasn’t what william had in mind but Gretchen didn’t stop me or nothing.

Anyways, we’re gonna actually do this fuckin play for anybody in the prison who wants to see it, and fuck I mean we’re all all of us not taking it seriously, like its a laugh right? But deep down you know. Deep down is different.

Toby he’s been doing this awhile. So he got the role of Mac which sucks cause I wanted it but they said I did a good job so they let me be Banquo. I was mad first cause I die like really early, but that’s not the end of him right. Shit’s tight, there’s this scene where I get to haunt the hell outta Toby while everyone else pretends I’m not even there.

I got a copy of macbeth that I keep under my pillow and I’m gonna memorize the shit outta my lines. They said I didn’t have to but fuck it, Toby’s gonna be fuckin shaking when I’m done with him.

Eli.




Gloria,

I almost forgot about you for a second, sorry.

It’s weird but things are kind of okay right now. The only thing that I’m not happy about is that Toby is apparently getting released next month. Like what a guy not tellin me until so close to it.

Oh well. At least I get to play Mac next year!




Gloria,

Gretchen reminds me of you when we first met you know. I think that’s why I like her so much is that when I listen to her talk and I think about the danger shes in being around us I just think of you. I worried a lot when you went to work with all your animals and shit cause you know those cages are only so strong and you go inside them all the time. Like you had tigers and shit what could have happened to you?

But just like with Gretchen you knew all the procedures and protocols and shit so it’s like, the only reason we’re scared for you is cause we don’t know any better. But you know better.

She’s so good at acting too. Gretchen I mean. Lights the fuckin stage on fire. See theres not a lot of girls in Macbeth and theres even less girls on our side of the fence so she volunteered to play lady macbeth when none of the other guys would. They were cool with being witches though, I think everybody deep down wants to be a witch.

She’s unbelieveable though. Theres this scene where lady macbeth is wiping her hands clean cause she sees blood on them even though theres not any? Actually that’s a lot of scenes. But when Gretchen does it she just looks straight ahead and she looks around the room and she at us but not really at us, do you know what I mean? And she’s just so scared about everything that’s happened with her man murdering someone and

You know that makes me think of you, Gloria.

I should stop.




Gloria,

I just want you to know I’m sorry for how it all went down. I know I’m not supposed to dwell on it and shit but the whole world thinks I’m the scum of the earth right now, and that’s alright, I don’t give a shit what they think, it’s what you think that’s keepin me up at night.

And you know if everybody had just calmed down I could have explained it all. But my lawyer kept saying my side of the story was bad and to stop saying I planned it and shit but I just hate this.

And maybe if I got to say my piece Id still be in here anyways and maybe for even longer but at least you would understand why I did what I did.

The worst part was the text messages. I deleted them cause I just wanted to cut ties with you you know, I just wanted to protect you even if it meant I’d never see you again. I didn’t think it would be this whole thing, fuckin national news, where’s the messages? What are they hiding? They were you and me talking about my fights and your animals and the way you’re having to hide your black eyes. And if you scroll up enough you see shit from when we were together.

The worst part was when they started talkin about you. I saw the people on the internet and you know, I never thought they were real people? I knew they were but I just didn’t see them that way? But the things they were saying, nah, they real. Cause they said Arthur was just the type of guy you like, that he was just like me too. They said that deep down you just date these guys who hurt you and make you feel less than yourself and that you like it deep down. And they were saying I was proof? They said somehow by protecting you I showed that I was just the asshole before this asshole, but they’re wrong I never lay a finger on you, its not fair.

I’m sorry. I gotta slow down a little. I just want you to know I’m sorry cause whenever I go to sleep knowing that the world hates you then I feel like never waking up.

And you know some of them like me.

That’s the worst part.

I can only send letters like once a week but they can send me as much as they fuckin please. I get ten a week and sometimes more. Pink letters, big letters, actual real life fanmail Gloria. Talking about how I’m misunderstood and that they’d treat me right. And that theyd let me hurt them. The fuck is wrong with them? The fuck do they think I am?

I started thinking about what lady macbeth would do if she started getting fanmail. Cause I see her, Gretchen, when I’m sleeping, and she’s wiping her hands clean and I look down and I see his face Gloria. I see him lookin up at me.




Gloria,

I figured out why I was mad after I fought those guys. The ones that got the jump on me.

See I thought about what happened to Macbeth with everybody banding together to destroy him, right? With the fucking forest coming after him and I know its not the actual forest but just people using it as a disguise, like, I get it.

Those thugs were the forest of my story. And I was mad cause it didn’t end the way it’s supposed to.




Gloria,

Im tearing out all these pages in my journal and sendin them to you cause I just want you to read them. Fuck whats good for me and fuck the guards who’ll read em you just gotta know the truth.

Soon were gonna be done with macbeth and were gonna do something else, but not before we get a chance to put on that play. Give Mac a real sendoff you know.

Gloria, listen.

I asked Gretchen if I could have a guest come see the play. She said she wasn’t sure and I had to beg her a bit and she said okay. She said they could make it happen if you wanted to come. It’s safe, you’ll have an escort, and you’ll be separate from the other guys, and the best part is there’ll be no cameras. You can just be there in the same room with me without anybody askin about what we’re planning. It’ll be just like you with your animals, you can watch us and we’ll be in our cages and you’ll be safe.

So come please. Come to the prison and ask about me and ask about the play. Gretchen said she’d put a word in and she would make it work.

I want you to see me walk across the table to Toby, I want you to see my rotting costume, the shackles around my ankles. I want to see your face, yeah, but even more than that I want you to see the look on mine when I get out there and stare at the murderer sitting at the table, see him scared shitless when he sees the ghost of what he did comin back to stare him dead in the eyes.

I want you to know thats how I really feel.

And if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t worry I get it. you can even bring someone with you if it helps. If you’re seeing someone right now, fuck it, bring him with you, cause I know whoever you’re with now will treat you right.

I love you Gloria.

eli




Jonathan swallowed the last chunk of his apple and placed the core, stripped almost completely clean, on the counter. He wiped at the juice on his hands, got out the trashcan under the sink and tossed in the core.

He turned the letter over to the other side, and it was blank. He ripped it in halfs, quarters, eighths and sixteenths, and he tossed it in the trash with the rest of the shreds.
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#1 · 2
· · >>Baal Bunny
...I'm not crying, you're crying.

This wouldn't feel out of place in a published compendium. Minor quibbles: I don't know why Gloria is italicised outside of the top line of each letter. It looks kinda odd? And we never get any context for who the heck Jonathan is.

But then that doesn't really matter--it's not really the point. And that last line did the same thing to my heart that Jonathan did to the letters.
#2 · 1
·
Very nice:

My only quibbles are pretty much the same as >>Meridian_Prime's. I can't glean enough info from the text to figure out what Eli's crime was and how Jonathan fits into it. Give me that, and you're all set!

Mike
#3 · 1
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I like it.

I have some trouble with a few details -- why indeed Gloria is script, why there's precise, flowing writing above the address on the envelope, what the "rest of the shreds" are -- but overall I think it came together quite nicely. My assumption is that Eli has been convicted of murdering Arthur, who was Gloria's new boyfriend after she and Eli stopped dating. Jonathan is the new one?

I don't remember Macbeth in enough detail to get critical with the text, but I think it's a bang on choice for someone in Eli's position and you really sold his cocksure attitude, the one that got him into prison in the first place. The curious movement was him to ... well, was it more Banquo, or was it more Lady Macbeth? On a psychological level he definitely seems to match up with Lady than Banquo, but he plays Banquo and gets to see the story from the outside, riding on the shoulders of one who made the right choice, and died for it.

So the real problem I'm having is that Gloria doesn't exist. We have an epistolary and a frame narrative and there's no real space for her to exist. There's nothing about Jonathan's place or being that suggests she lives there, or ever did, but the letter is clearly and carefully addressed there. She has no action, only memory or receipt, and no body. She's a construct - but then what does he get from addressing her? If she's a non-corporeal stand-in, why Jonathan's house?

I also don't understand prison well and feel that would fill in some blanks for me. I know time passes, weeks or months, but that final one - why all the letters at once? Did Eli kill himself?

I do quite like that Jonathan is eating an apple, though. It fits nicely with my picture of him.

The story feels dim and nihilistic because of its end, but I don't feel convinced the ending is a conclusion. As a fan of journaling as therapy, I picked up on Eli's growing ability to express his emotions and reflect on his actions, so I do feel it must have been somewhat cathartic for him even if the final bit we see is what turns out to be a futile plea for connection.

But... what happens? I don't need all the answers, but I am grasping for something to go with after the story. I don't think I have enough from Eli's letters or Jonathan's actions to fill in any blanks or wrap up the emotional stakes.
#4 · 1
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I'm having some trouble with this story. As others have said, there are a lot of missing pieces that make it a bit challenging to assemble the actual nature of the narrative because we see so few pieces. Ultimately I come down on the idea that Gloria used to live here, Jonathan does now. It creates a few oddities in and of itself, but based on the art it kinda makes the most fitting sense in the idea that Eli tries and it is all for naught because some rando gets his letter and just trashes it.

Which really kinda makes Jon a dick if true, but c'est la vie.

And, if true, creates kind of a nihilistic outlook on things that makes this story kinda hard for me to deal with because, well, maybe I just respond too well to emotional prompting, but it does create a sense of waste and pointlessness. Which is not a criticism of the story per se: it is effective at being that sort of grim. But it does kinda leave me feeling a bit eh.

The letters I had a little trouble with and I'm not sure if it is that the voice feels inauthentic or just that I'm not good at really imagining how this voice would exist (because being well-read and well-educated makes me blow at emulating and interpreting other voices that don't match at that sometime). I will say the typos end up being a bit distracting in context and I think you'd want a typesetting trick to make the letters look more lettery?

I dunno. Ultimately I guess the most accurate thing I can say here is I just really had trouble getting into this one and it never really clicked with me and I am having trouble really putting my finger on why that is. Sorry.