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Retirees
Author Note: This story contains unmarked spoilers for Season 9.
(Please spoiler your comments if you discuss it.)
"Lying doth not suit thee, Tia," Luna murmured over dinner salad.
Celestia let out a breath through her nose. She had figured this conversation was inevitable, but it didn't make it any easier.
She wing-gestured to her ponies-in-waiting for privacy, chewed while they silently left the room, and then swallowed her mouthful of greens and dabbed a napkin to the corner of her muzzle. "Telling Twilight that we'd be retiring wasn't really a lie."
Luna frowned, spearing another piece of asparagus. "Technicalities doth not suit thee, either. 'Twas true only in the narrowest sense of abdication. A lie of omission remains an untruth."
"Luna." Celestia set down her fork and looked Luna in the eyes. "How would she have taken the truth? 'We're no longer immortal now that the Elements of Harmony have found new bearers, we've got five years to live, and if you don't step up as ruler, Equestria will soon dissolve into anarchy'? I defy you to tell me that Twilight Sparkle would have reacted with anything less than a complete meltdown."
Luna rolled her eyes. "If you had put it that way, aye. But do not ask me to believe that you of all ponies would not have broken it to her in a gentler manner."
"Yes," Celestia said. "Which is what I'm doing."
Luna gave her a flat look. "No, you are lying."
"I'm doing exactly what I did for you."
Celestia steeled herself as Luna stiffened. It was a low blow—but also, if Luna was determined to stand on principle, a blow she had to strike.
"I know lying upsets you, but the truth sometimes is the worst liar of all," Celestia added softly, sipping some tea. "If ponies had remembered your actions a thousand years ago and recognized you on your return, they wouldn't have given Luna a chance after Nightmare Moon was cleansed. I won't apologize for privileging the truth of our reconciliation over the truth of our failure. Likewise, please don't ask me to apologize for manipulating Twilight's first impressions so she can approach the truth at an angle she can face without fear."
Luna's face twisted. Then her body sagged, and she let out a long breath. "Perhaps I deserved that. But, sister … my concern is for you, not solely Twilight. The memory left when a loved one departs is far more fragile than a first impression. If your last act is a deception, ponies cannot forgive you it, for you are no longer there to rebuild trust and bury the lie in happier memories."
"If that's your concern, then the idea of retirement is actually less misleading than the truth," Celestia said. "We're no longer immune to aging, but if we follow through on the plan, we'll still be there for her generations from now—and in a way we know she appreciates. Why panic her with talk of death? This will just be…" She waved a hoof vaguely. "Different."
Star Swirl squinted. "Celestia. Luna. You look… different."
"That's time magic for you," Celestia said drily. "Hello from the future."
To his credit, Star Swirl merely scowled. "You'd better not be here to tell me that the portal destabilizes something crucial." He gestured at a trio of stunned sirens to one side, just starting to stir. "You have no idea how much grief these three will cause for Equestria. It's an understatement to say things don't end well unless I banish them."
Celestia glanced at Luna, who simply sighed and nodded. She nodded back.
"Actually," Celestia said, "we'd like to go with them."
That got Star Swirl raising both eyebrows.
"Are you addle-brained?" he shouted. "It's a temporal trap! Even for an alicorn, it's a one-way trip! You'll spend the rest of your existence endlessly resetting and cycling through the same four years of your life as some sort of monkey-thing—" He paused for a moment. "Oh. That gets fixed at some point, doesn't it."
"For those entering in an age to come, yes—but not for us here, no," Luna said.
"But it's alright." Celestia smiled. "You'll understand someday. Drop us a line when you do."
"Speaking of which," Luna said, "you did explain everything in your final letter to Twilight, yes?"
"I did," Celestia said as she stepped up to the portal. "And I look forward to meeting her again for the first time."
(Please spoiler your comments if you discuss it.)
"Lying doth not suit thee, Tia," Luna murmured over dinner salad.
Celestia let out a breath through her nose. She had figured this conversation was inevitable, but it didn't make it any easier.
She wing-gestured to her ponies-in-waiting for privacy, chewed while they silently left the room, and then swallowed her mouthful of greens and dabbed a napkin to the corner of her muzzle. "Telling Twilight that we'd be retiring wasn't really a lie."
Luna frowned, spearing another piece of asparagus. "Technicalities doth not suit thee, either. 'Twas true only in the narrowest sense of abdication. A lie of omission remains an untruth."
"Luna." Celestia set down her fork and looked Luna in the eyes. "How would she have taken the truth? 'We're no longer immortal now that the Elements of Harmony have found new bearers, we've got five years to live, and if you don't step up as ruler, Equestria will soon dissolve into anarchy'? I defy you to tell me that Twilight Sparkle would have reacted with anything less than a complete meltdown."
Luna rolled her eyes. "If you had put it that way, aye. But do not ask me to believe that you of all ponies would not have broken it to her in a gentler manner."
"Yes," Celestia said. "Which is what I'm doing."
Luna gave her a flat look. "No, you are lying."
"I'm doing exactly what I did for you."
Celestia steeled herself as Luna stiffened. It was a low blow—but also, if Luna was determined to stand on principle, a blow she had to strike.
"I know lying upsets you, but the truth sometimes is the worst liar of all," Celestia added softly, sipping some tea. "If ponies had remembered your actions a thousand years ago and recognized you on your return, they wouldn't have given Luna a chance after Nightmare Moon was cleansed. I won't apologize for privileging the truth of our reconciliation over the truth of our failure. Likewise, please don't ask me to apologize for manipulating Twilight's first impressions so she can approach the truth at an angle she can face without fear."
Luna's face twisted. Then her body sagged, and she let out a long breath. "Perhaps I deserved that. But, sister … my concern is for you, not solely Twilight. The memory left when a loved one departs is far more fragile than a first impression. If your last act is a deception, ponies cannot forgive you it, for you are no longer there to rebuild trust and bury the lie in happier memories."
"If that's your concern, then the idea of retirement is actually less misleading than the truth," Celestia said. "We're no longer immune to aging, but if we follow through on the plan, we'll still be there for her generations from now—and in a way we know she appreciates. Why panic her with talk of death? This will just be…" She waved a hoof vaguely. "Different."
Star Swirl squinted. "Celestia. Luna. You look… different."
"That's time magic for you," Celestia said drily. "Hello from the future."
To his credit, Star Swirl merely scowled. "You'd better not be here to tell me that the portal destabilizes something crucial." He gestured at a trio of stunned sirens to one side, just starting to stir. "You have no idea how much grief these three will cause for Equestria. It's an understatement to say things don't end well unless I banish them."
Celestia glanced at Luna, who simply sighed and nodded. She nodded back.
"Actually," Celestia said, "we'd like to go with them."
That got Star Swirl raising both eyebrows.
"Are you addle-brained?" he shouted. "It's a temporal trap! Even for an alicorn, it's a one-way trip! You'll spend the rest of your existence endlessly resetting and cycling through the same four years of your life as some sort of monkey-thing—" He paused for a moment. "Oh. That gets fixed at some point, doesn't it."
"For those entering in an age to come, yes—but not for us here, no," Luna said.
"But it's alright." Celestia smiled. "You'll understand someday. Drop us a line when you do."
"Speaking of which," Luna said, "you did explain everything in your final letter to Twilight, yes?"
"I did," Celestia said as she stepped up to the portal. "And I look forward to meeting her again for the first time."
Weirdly enough, I think this particular spoiler only makes me want to catch up with the seasons I haven't watched.
That aside, this is one of the cleverer ways I've seen EqG explained, and I have to say I really rather like it. I'm always a sucker for the Royal Sisters, and they're very natural in this. From Luna's opening rebellious mutter, their relationship flows wonderfully - very sister like, and also very Sister like, which is not a balance people manage as often as you'd think. Great work.
That aside, this is one of the cleverer ways I've seen EqG explained, and I have to say I really rather like it. I'm always a sucker for the Royal Sisters, and they're very natural in this. From Luna's opening rebellious mutter, their relationship flows wonderfully - very sister like, and also very Sister like, which is not a balance people manage as often as you'd think. Great work.
This is definitely a clever idea, and I'm charmed by your characterization of Best Girl Celestia. But if I'm honest, I've got to admit that I'm running into a couple of roadblocks that stop me from liking this as much as I could.
Firstly, it's the fridge logic. I really hate bashing stories for logistical reasons, but I just had a lot of trouble really buying into the scenario. To me, it feels overly convenient that the EQG dimension is time-looped for precisely as long as needed for Celly and Luna to meet Twi again. And I'm also wondering if there are now doubles of Celly and Luna, consdering that there are pre-existing doubles of pretty much everypony in Equestria? For that matter, does that mean there are versions of the Mane 6 and everypony else at the time Celly and Luna hop in, which would be at least a few hundred years before the events of the show? Is there a reason why Principal Celestia doesn't recognize Twilight on-sight in the first EQG movie? These distractions really hurt the payoff of the story.
My other roadblock is more on the execution side of things. The first scene, to be honest, was tough for me to work through.Out of the approximately 500 words that make up this scene, almost 300 of them are spent on 4 blocky paragraphs of speech. The fact that these are embedded in even more dialogue really makes it hard to stay focused and invested on the details of what's being said. "Talking heads" is an overused phrase, but the point remains that reading a back-and-forth where many of the story's important emotional beats are discussed rather than demonstrated is mentally very tiring for the reader.
On the other hand,I really like the flow of the second scene. There's reaction, excitement, proactivity, and a sense of heft. When you compare it to the first, it really makes the Princess's back and forth feel a bit monotonous and droning—the fact that their cool demeanor towards one another is never broken really makes the exchange feel static. Star Swirl, on the other hand, goes from mildly surprised, to confused, to angry, to accepting, all in a very believable flow. It really helps keep the dialogue interesting.
IN the end, I think what'll really help this piece is a brush-up of the emotional pacing of the first scene, and maybe just a bit more explanation into the logistics of the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey details of the reveal. You've got a good set of bones here, but you might need another go at the meat and potatoes of how the story wants to fit together.
Firstly, it's the fridge logic. I really hate bashing stories for logistical reasons, but I just had a lot of trouble really buying into the scenario. To me, it feels overly convenient that the EQG dimension is time-looped for precisely as long as needed for Celly and Luna to meet Twi again. And I'm also wondering if there are now doubles of Celly and Luna, consdering that there are pre-existing doubles of pretty much everypony in Equestria? For that matter, does that mean there are versions of the Mane 6 and everypony else at the time Celly and Luna hop in, which would be at least a few hundred years before the events of the show? Is there a reason why Principal Celestia doesn't recognize Twilight on-sight in the first EQG movie? These distractions really hurt the payoff of the story.
My other roadblock is more on the execution side of things. The first scene, to be honest, was tough for me to work through.Out of the approximately 500 words that make up this scene, almost 300 of them are spent on 4 blocky paragraphs of speech. The fact that these are embedded in even more dialogue really makes it hard to stay focused and invested on the details of what's being said. "Talking heads" is an overused phrase, but the point remains that reading a back-and-forth where many of the story's important emotional beats are discussed rather than demonstrated is mentally very tiring for the reader.
On the other hand,I really like the flow of the second scene. There's reaction, excitement, proactivity, and a sense of heft. When you compare it to the first, it really makes the Princess's back and forth feel a bit monotonous and droning—the fact that their cool demeanor towards one another is never broken really makes the exchange feel static. Star Swirl, on the other hand, goes from mildly surprised, to confused, to angry, to accepting, all in a very believable flow. It really helps keep the dialogue interesting.
IN the end, I think what'll really help this piece is a brush-up of the emotional pacing of the first scene, and maybe just a bit more explanation into the logistics of the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey details of the reveal. You've got a good set of bones here, but you might need another go at the meat and potatoes of how the story wants to fit together.
I'm abstaining on this one because I haven't seen the sirens movie (I'm still waiting for somebody to get angry enough at me to tell me what the actual title is), but from a technical standpoint I figure it's probably worthwhile to agree with Bach here about the execution side of things. First scene clunky, second scene much better.
Also, why is Luna talking like that?
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Also, why is Luna talking like that?
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