I'm going to contact that Japanese chapel where lonely guys marry their dakimakuras. I'm going to print this out and marry it.
I'm not even going to correct the spacing issues.

Alternate Story: Inebriated

What the hell?

I feel like the title doesn't do this entry justice. I say that because this entry is fucking nuts. I've read it twice now and I can barely tell you what happens in it. Does that mean I should read it a third time? Maybe. But at the same time I doubt it'll help much; this story defies explanation, for good and bad.

Now...

...takes a few hard drags on his customary pipe...

"Entrapped" is a story that starts out stoned and then becomes drunk. I don't want to make assumptions about the author's mental state at the time of composition, but I almost feel I'm in a position to, reading all this back.

Actually, "drunk" might be too mild a word to describe the narrative twists and turns, combined with Entrapta's increasingly intoxicated state; it's safe to say this entry gets totally shit-faced. Try to think about what happens here. Where even are we? There are maybe two short passages of the setting being described that I can recall, and they don't exactly help.

Take this gem, for instance:

I untangled Paul and he dusted himself off, leading us around the ballroom. Sadly, technology did not clutter the expansive room, instead, intricate designs and paintings of naked people on the ceiling were plastered everywhere. I tried to avoid looking up.

I didn't think a description of a fucking ballroom would make me question reality. I have questions, author!

...coughs up a storm as the room becomes more hazy with weed smoke...

This is both a comedy and a sort of espionage thriller, but it's not really thrilling; I suspect it's not meant to be. Things only get wackier when we run into one of those crazy communist horses. You can never trust 'em.

I prefer my equines to be anarcho-capitalist, thank you very much!

I feel like I should just give in and embrace the goof of this entry, because as far as meeting my weekly goof quota this certainly meets it more than "Fuck Adora!" did, and I wasn't expecting that. But there is something on a technical level that I wanna cover here; I didn't really bring this up when I reviewed "Caught Between Confusion and Pain," but I wanted to save it for this review because I think this entry suffers from this particular problem way more.

Okay, here we go.

...trying to hold back weezing laughter, taking another hit of the pipe...

So if this is told in Entrapta's voice, I think the author should've gone to greater lengths to make sure it sounds like her. This is a problem you generally run into with fanfics told in the first person, from an established character's perspective, because usually one of two things happens: either the character's voice isn't convincing enough, the circumstances of the character telling this story aren't laid out, or both. In the case of "Entrapped" it's more the former. I have a hard time believing, most of the time, that this is Entrapta talking. In the beginning it's easy to buy, and the chuckle-worthy remarks like Emily being reborn are endearing, but things go absolutely fucking nuts.

Was losing track of the plot a deliberate choice, author? I must know all your secrets.

Tell me pls...