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"Fuck Adora!"
"Oh my god!" cried Catra, trying and failing to breathe through her nose. "The objectives are so simple! All they have to keep track of is two, and to get the job done in under ten minutes!" She paused, feeling a pretty hard sneeze coming on.
"Uhhh, Catra...?" asked Scorpia. She didn't like to bother her superior, despite doing exactly that on a daily basis, but she couldn't ignore the redness in Catra's eyes or the stuffiness of her nose for long.
"What?" Catra swiveled in her chair—the fancy chair she had gotten to enjoy all to herself since she took Shadow Weaver's position. "It's not hard or anything. Ten friggin' minutes or less is all I ask for, and what do I get? A bunch of...!" Another sneeze, another blowout, another spent tissue.
Scorpia fiddled with her claws the way normal-handed people fiddled with their thumbs when they got nervous. "You sure you're not sick, though?"
Catra stared at the monitor, at the cadets in training who were partly responsible for her discontent. "I don't get sick."
And it was sort of true: Catra hadn't fallen ill in several years now. As a matter of fact, since Scorpia thought about it, she never saw her best buddy get sick with anything.
"But you've been like that since this morning," said Scorpia. "It's kinda... y'know..." She wanted to finish that sentence, but a good look at Catra's scowling face discouraged her.
It was hard, being both a force captain and taking orders from Catra. To be perfectly fair, Shadow Weaver was far from a saint; in fact she was one of the most unpleasant people Scorpia ever encountered. The rumors of abuse and general evilness were pretty much all true. The youngest cadets, young as they were, barely got to know Shadow Weaver when she was Hordak's second-in-command, but Scorpia knew what was up.
With that said, though, Catra wasn't exactly a picnic in cat-person form either.
Scorpia grew a worrisome look on her face as she watched Catra hold down the button for her microphone and berate the trainees over the intercom system. "Do all that again!" she yelled in a slightly nasally tone.
Of the five cadets on the training course, at least four of them groaned quite audibly.
"You're not leaving until you can complete all the objectives—" suppressing a nostril clog— "within the time limit!"
Everyone reset their suits and got back into position. Scorpia hesitated, but then leaned forward and turned on her own microphone for a moment. "Keep it up, guys. You're doing great, I swear."
Catra gave her a rather non-enthused look. "Please don't encourage them."
"What am I supposed to do? I was like that not too long ago." Scorpia thought about it a bit. "Just, like, smaller physically."
"Whatever. What time is it? Gettin' kinda tired here." Catra snorted really hard, making far more noise with her clogged nose than even Scorpia's infamous midnight snores.
"Almost three... in the afternoon."
"Oh."
Scorpia made a motion with her claws. "You need medicine or something? I wonder if Entrapta could make like a medicine robot." A pause. "How come we don't have little doctor robots yet? Like with tiny—"
"Oh my god, shut up!" At that exact moment a figurative stick of dynamite exploded in Catra's nose, getting mucus all over her mouth and suit. "Uuuuuuuuugh!"
"You're sick," said Scorpia both tenderly and bluntly. Somehow.
"Okay, yeah, whatever, I might have a cold." She wiped herself down with one of the few spare tissues left and got out of her fancy swivel-chair. "I'm gonna take a nap for a bit or whatever. You take care of the..."
"Exercises?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Ugh."
It was definitely a cold—at least at first. The first couple days of Catra's sickness were at times highly amusing and at other times incredibly frustrating, and Scorpia was there for nearly every minute of it. The cadets needed someone to discipline them, and Catra was not in the right physical state to be doing that. Like, usually she was hardly in the right mental state to do her duty as second-in-command, but when she wasn't sleeping during the day she was being really cranky around everyone, even by Catra's standards of crankiness.
When the day came to inspect the new equipment Entrapta had been inventing for the troops, Catra had a blanket around her shoulders, almost like a cape. Her hairs were all standing on end, which was probably not a good sign either.
"What's this, a lance crossed with like a bazooka?" Catra took turns balancing the contraption in her hands and wiping her rosey nose.
"Oh, I was totally thinking the same thing when I made it!" Entrapta's eyes glowed in that weird nerdy way, seemingly not noticing the fact that Catra was getting all her gross germs on the thing. "I was thinking about how most of our weapons are short-ranged, right? And that's cool and all, but then you've also got the artillery units who need to fire from a certain distance, so they can't get too close to the enemy. I was like, 'What if there was a middle ground between the two where—?'"
"Okay, whatever," replied Catra, not really paying attention. "Is it cold in here or what?"
"No...?" said Scorpia nearby.
"I shouldn't've gotten out of bed for this." Catra aimed down what she at least thought were the sights on the weapon. "On second thought, this ain't half bad. Kinda heavy, but what're you gonna do?" She took aim at a wall and pressed firmly on the trigger, as if something would happen. "Good thing I assumed this wasn't loaded..."
"Oh!" said Entrapta. "I was thinking about streamlining it a bit, maybe testing out this new metal I found? It's pretty amazing what you can do by mixing a few alloys. Trying to balance sturdiness with weight is a game I never get tired of playing."
"Uh, Entrapta?" Scorpia waved at her with her claws, but Entrapta just gave her a puzzled look.
"What?"
"Hasn't Catra been acting...?" she said in a low voice, getting closer to her.
"No, I can't tell what you mean," said Entrapta obliviously, "with your claw-hands."
"I'm saying maybe we should cut the inspection short?" Scorpia's eyes went over to Catra. "She's not feeling well."
Catra's ears perked up at this. "I feel perfectly fine!"
"Perfectly fine," said Scorpia hesitantly, "and also sick?"
"I told you, I don't get sick! I haven't gotten sick since I was teammates with Ado—" She paused, as if choking on something. "Ador...! The A-word!"
"Adora?" asked Entrapta.
Catra's feline eyes zeroed in on the air-headed scientist. "Fuck Adora!"
It was in this moment that Scorpia and Entrapta nearly gasped at two things, both happening in rapid succession of each other, a pair of events that went like this: Catra saying the F-word—also the cursed A-word—and then puking all over the lance-bazooka hybrid.
Yeah, it was pretty gross.
Turned out Catra was developing a fever, and a fierce one at that. The minions all throughout the Fight Zone had little idea as to what to do about this, since Shadow Weaver never came down with anything so serious; was probably all that evil magic aura that kept her healthy. Not only was Catra incapacitated to almost a humiliating degree, but Scorpia and the other force captains had to carry as much of the load as each of them could.
Hordak wasn't happy about any of it, of course.
The ordeal was two days of the common cold, then two days of the fever. Okay, two days and one night, technically speaking—and what a weird night that was!
Scorpia knew all about it; she had volunteered to look after Catra during that time, because how could she leave her best buddy all alone like that? She even volunteered to share the bed, the same bed Catra had earned as the new second-in-command, the same bed that could barely fit two people, let alone Scorpia's bulky form. Upon hearing this, Catra gave her a scowl combined with an annoyed sorry-but-you're-not-my-type kind of look.
Still, sharing the room was enough.
Roughly six hours of watching Catra desperately try and subsequently fail to fall asleep was almost enough to drive Scorpia crazy with worry. It was a mean sight: Catra tossing and turning in her bed, making a mess of the covers, sweating and getting mucus everywhere.
"Uuuuuurgh...!" she groaned in her pained half-sleep.
Scorpia wanted to hug her something like a hundred times for those first few hours, as she too was losing the stamina to stay awake and yet being unable to get over the duty she owed to her best buddy.
After a long while, though, something strange happened.
"Adora! Adoraaaaaa!" cried Catra from her bed, breathing hard and thrashing around, curled up like a baby.
Scorpia blinked and her eyebrows went up. "Adora...?"
"Adora, where are you?" replied Catra. "I need..."
The muscles in Scorpia's arms and legs froze up for a moment, but she managed to get up and sit by Catra's bedside. "You need Adora?"
"Adora," said Catra. "P-please, I need you. I need you!"
Scorpia frowned solemnly and took pity on her best buddy. "I'm here, Catra." Could she play the part of Adora if she had to? She supposed so. She gazed into Catra's misty eyes, and it occurred to her that Catra must've been hallucinating.
"It's been way too long," she said drearily, "since we last met. We talked quite a bit, and..."
"And? I'm here."
"I got so mad at you," said Catra in a cracked voice. "I got so mad at you, and I hated you. I was so happy to see you again, but god did I hate you right there. It was craaaaaaaaazy..."
"I, uhhh—" hesitating— "I forgive you for that. I'm sure you don't hate me anymore."
"No, b-but.." Catra extended a hand and touched Scorpia's side in an uncharacteristically soft manner. "I had a chance right there. I could've talked to you about being friends again, and I could've saved you when I had the chance, but... I left you there. I left you there, and I don't know why I did that..." She wiped her face, and Scorpia had a hard time telling if she was wiping sweat, mucus, tears, or a mixture of all three.
It was strange to witness, considering the previous couple days weren't so serious. Scorpia wanted to make a joke to lighten her best buddy's mood, but she feared that would break the illusion; it would also probably not help.
"Catra," she said quietly, "you shouldn't be so angry about that."
"But I left you!" screamed Catra, nearly frightening Scorpia. "I left you there!"
Scorpia smiled, if in a subtler fashion than her usual sunshine smiles. "But it's okay now," she said, "because I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." Suddenly she felt Catra reach out and wrap her arms around her burly torso. "Woah, hey!"
"Please don't leave me again, Adora..." Catra kept a fevered hold on Scorpia, her lava-hot skin warming the air surrounding both of them. "I didn't get a c-chance to—"
"Shh," said Scorpia. "It's okay now."
So they stayed like that for a few minutes, until Catra's sickness took full control and she jerked away to barf in the already partly-filled bucket right next to the bed.
Scorpia couldn't help but wince at seeing this, but a part of her also felt good about helping her best buddy.
"Alright, punks!" yelled Catra at the team of junior cadets before her. "Like I said before, all I'm asking of you for you to complete the objectives within the time limit! Get hit? Run out of time? Guess what, you failed!"
Catra's illness was a test of sorts for many involved, but within a week she was back to being in tip-top shape; sure, she still slept a lot and exhibited an uncanny ability to get everything done at the last minute, but that was normal. Business as usual, one could say.
Scorpia watched the monitor with a certain knowing grin on her face, at seeing her superior chew out the underlings in person. It was like seeing a cat give the nastiest growl any pair of ears could hear, only to never lay so much as a claw on anyone. Sure, that meant Catra was all bark and no bite, but for the cadets it was far preferable to Shadow Weaver's bark and bite.
"Uhh, Catra...?" asked Scorpia over the intercom system, semi-smirking.
"Yeah? What?" replied Catra in her usual not-giving-a-shit manner.
"Trying to stay on schedule here," said Scorpia. "Just saying."
"Right, whatever," she said before leaving the training area, giving the poor cadets the keeping-my-eye-on-you look.
Scorpia stretched out her limbs and rested her claws behind her head as she swiveled in her own fancy chair.
Back to business as usual indeed.
"Uhhh, Catra...?" asked Scorpia. She didn't like to bother her superior, despite doing exactly that on a daily basis, but she couldn't ignore the redness in Catra's eyes or the stuffiness of her nose for long.
"What?" Catra swiveled in her chair—the fancy chair she had gotten to enjoy all to herself since she took Shadow Weaver's position. "It's not hard or anything. Ten friggin' minutes or less is all I ask for, and what do I get? A bunch of...!" Another sneeze, another blowout, another spent tissue.
Scorpia fiddled with her claws the way normal-handed people fiddled with their thumbs when they got nervous. "You sure you're not sick, though?"
Catra stared at the monitor, at the cadets in training who were partly responsible for her discontent. "I don't get sick."
And it was sort of true: Catra hadn't fallen ill in several years now. As a matter of fact, since Scorpia thought about it, she never saw her best buddy get sick with anything.
"But you've been like that since this morning," said Scorpia. "It's kinda... y'know..." She wanted to finish that sentence, but a good look at Catra's scowling face discouraged her.
It was hard, being both a force captain and taking orders from Catra. To be perfectly fair, Shadow Weaver was far from a saint; in fact she was one of the most unpleasant people Scorpia ever encountered. The rumors of abuse and general evilness were pretty much all true. The youngest cadets, young as they were, barely got to know Shadow Weaver when she was Hordak's second-in-command, but Scorpia knew what was up.
With that said, though, Catra wasn't exactly a picnic in cat-person form either.
Scorpia grew a worrisome look on her face as she watched Catra hold down the button for her microphone and berate the trainees over the intercom system. "Do all that again!" she yelled in a slightly nasally tone.
Of the five cadets on the training course, at least four of them groaned quite audibly.
"You're not leaving until you can complete all the objectives—" suppressing a nostril clog— "within the time limit!"
Everyone reset their suits and got back into position. Scorpia hesitated, but then leaned forward and turned on her own microphone for a moment. "Keep it up, guys. You're doing great, I swear."
Catra gave her a rather non-enthused look. "Please don't encourage them."
"What am I supposed to do? I was like that not too long ago." Scorpia thought about it a bit. "Just, like, smaller physically."
"Whatever. What time is it? Gettin' kinda tired here." Catra snorted really hard, making far more noise with her clogged nose than even Scorpia's infamous midnight snores.
"Almost three... in the afternoon."
"Oh."
Scorpia made a motion with her claws. "You need medicine or something? I wonder if Entrapta could make like a medicine robot." A pause. "How come we don't have little doctor robots yet? Like with tiny—"
"Oh my god, shut up!" At that exact moment a figurative stick of dynamite exploded in Catra's nose, getting mucus all over her mouth and suit. "Uuuuuuuuugh!"
"You're sick," said Scorpia both tenderly and bluntly. Somehow.
"Okay, yeah, whatever, I might have a cold." She wiped herself down with one of the few spare tissues left and got out of her fancy swivel-chair. "I'm gonna take a nap for a bit or whatever. You take care of the..."
"Exercises?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Ugh."
It was definitely a cold—at least at first. The first couple days of Catra's sickness were at times highly amusing and at other times incredibly frustrating, and Scorpia was there for nearly every minute of it. The cadets needed someone to discipline them, and Catra was not in the right physical state to be doing that. Like, usually she was hardly in the right mental state to do her duty as second-in-command, but when she wasn't sleeping during the day she was being really cranky around everyone, even by Catra's standards of crankiness.
When the day came to inspect the new equipment Entrapta had been inventing for the troops, Catra had a blanket around her shoulders, almost like a cape. Her hairs were all standing on end, which was probably not a good sign either.
"What's this, a lance crossed with like a bazooka?" Catra took turns balancing the contraption in her hands and wiping her rosey nose.
"Oh, I was totally thinking the same thing when I made it!" Entrapta's eyes glowed in that weird nerdy way, seemingly not noticing the fact that Catra was getting all her gross germs on the thing. "I was thinking about how most of our weapons are short-ranged, right? And that's cool and all, but then you've also got the artillery units who need to fire from a certain distance, so they can't get too close to the enemy. I was like, 'What if there was a middle ground between the two where—?'"
"Okay, whatever," replied Catra, not really paying attention. "Is it cold in here or what?"
"No...?" said Scorpia nearby.
"I shouldn't've gotten out of bed for this." Catra aimed down what she at least thought were the sights on the weapon. "On second thought, this ain't half bad. Kinda heavy, but what're you gonna do?" She took aim at a wall and pressed firmly on the trigger, as if something would happen. "Good thing I assumed this wasn't loaded..."
"Oh!" said Entrapta. "I was thinking about streamlining it a bit, maybe testing out this new metal I found? It's pretty amazing what you can do by mixing a few alloys. Trying to balance sturdiness with weight is a game I never get tired of playing."
"Uh, Entrapta?" Scorpia waved at her with her claws, but Entrapta just gave her a puzzled look.
"What?"
"Hasn't Catra been acting...?" she said in a low voice, getting closer to her.
"No, I can't tell what you mean," said Entrapta obliviously, "with your claw-hands."
"I'm saying maybe we should cut the inspection short?" Scorpia's eyes went over to Catra. "She's not feeling well."
Catra's ears perked up at this. "I feel perfectly fine!"
"Perfectly fine," said Scorpia hesitantly, "and also sick?"
"I told you, I don't get sick! I haven't gotten sick since I was teammates with Ado—" She paused, as if choking on something. "Ador...! The A-word!"
"Adora?" asked Entrapta.
Catra's feline eyes zeroed in on the air-headed scientist. "Fuck Adora!"
It was in this moment that Scorpia and Entrapta nearly gasped at two things, both happening in rapid succession of each other, a pair of events that went like this: Catra saying the F-word—also the cursed A-word—and then puking all over the lance-bazooka hybrid.
Yeah, it was pretty gross.
Turned out Catra was developing a fever, and a fierce one at that. The minions all throughout the Fight Zone had little idea as to what to do about this, since Shadow Weaver never came down with anything so serious; was probably all that evil magic aura that kept her healthy. Not only was Catra incapacitated to almost a humiliating degree, but Scorpia and the other force captains had to carry as much of the load as each of them could.
Hordak wasn't happy about any of it, of course.
The ordeal was two days of the common cold, then two days of the fever. Okay, two days and one night, technically speaking—and what a weird night that was!
Scorpia knew all about it; she had volunteered to look after Catra during that time, because how could she leave her best buddy all alone like that? She even volunteered to share the bed, the same bed Catra had earned as the new second-in-command, the same bed that could barely fit two people, let alone Scorpia's bulky form. Upon hearing this, Catra gave her a scowl combined with an annoyed sorry-but-you're-not-my-type kind of look.
Still, sharing the room was enough.
Roughly six hours of watching Catra desperately try and subsequently fail to fall asleep was almost enough to drive Scorpia crazy with worry. It was a mean sight: Catra tossing and turning in her bed, making a mess of the covers, sweating and getting mucus everywhere.
"Uuuuuurgh...!" she groaned in her pained half-sleep.
Scorpia wanted to hug her something like a hundred times for those first few hours, as she too was losing the stamina to stay awake and yet being unable to get over the duty she owed to her best buddy.
After a long while, though, something strange happened.
"Adora! Adoraaaaaa!" cried Catra from her bed, breathing hard and thrashing around, curled up like a baby.
Scorpia blinked and her eyebrows went up. "Adora...?"
"Adora, where are you?" replied Catra. "I need..."
The muscles in Scorpia's arms and legs froze up for a moment, but she managed to get up and sit by Catra's bedside. "You need Adora?"
"Adora," said Catra. "P-please, I need you. I need you!"
Scorpia frowned solemnly and took pity on her best buddy. "I'm here, Catra." Could she play the part of Adora if she had to? She supposed so. She gazed into Catra's misty eyes, and it occurred to her that Catra must've been hallucinating.
"It's been way too long," she said drearily, "since we last met. We talked quite a bit, and..."
"And? I'm here."
"I got so mad at you," said Catra in a cracked voice. "I got so mad at you, and I hated you. I was so happy to see you again, but god did I hate you right there. It was craaaaaaaaazy..."
"I, uhhh—" hesitating— "I forgive you for that. I'm sure you don't hate me anymore."
"No, b-but.." Catra extended a hand and touched Scorpia's side in an uncharacteristically soft manner. "I had a chance right there. I could've talked to you about being friends again, and I could've saved you when I had the chance, but... I left you there. I left you there, and I don't know why I did that..." She wiped her face, and Scorpia had a hard time telling if she was wiping sweat, mucus, tears, or a mixture of all three.
It was strange to witness, considering the previous couple days weren't so serious. Scorpia wanted to make a joke to lighten her best buddy's mood, but she feared that would break the illusion; it would also probably not help.
"Catra," she said quietly, "you shouldn't be so angry about that."
"But I left you!" screamed Catra, nearly frightening Scorpia. "I left you there!"
Scorpia smiled, if in a subtler fashion than her usual sunshine smiles. "But it's okay now," she said, "because I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." Suddenly she felt Catra reach out and wrap her arms around her burly torso. "Woah, hey!"
"Please don't leave me again, Adora..." Catra kept a fevered hold on Scorpia, her lava-hot skin warming the air surrounding both of them. "I didn't get a c-chance to—"
"Shh," said Scorpia. "It's okay now."
So they stayed like that for a few minutes, until Catra's sickness took full control and she jerked away to barf in the already partly-filled bucket right next to the bed.
Scorpia couldn't help but wince at seeing this, but a part of her also felt good about helping her best buddy.
"Alright, punks!" yelled Catra at the team of junior cadets before her. "Like I said before, all I'm asking of you for you to complete the objectives within the time limit! Get hit? Run out of time? Guess what, you failed!"
Catra's illness was a test of sorts for many involved, but within a week she was back to being in tip-top shape; sure, she still slept a lot and exhibited an uncanny ability to get everything done at the last minute, but that was normal. Business as usual, one could say.
Scorpia watched the monitor with a certain knowing grin on her face, at seeing her superior chew out the underlings in person. It was like seeing a cat give the nastiest growl any pair of ears could hear, only to never lay so much as a claw on anyone. Sure, that meant Catra was all bark and no bite, but for the cadets it was far preferable to Shadow Weaver's bark and bite.
"Uhh, Catra...?" asked Scorpia over the intercom system, semi-smirking.
"Yeah? What?" replied Catra in her usual not-giving-a-shit manner.
"Trying to stay on schedule here," said Scorpia. "Just saying."
"Right, whatever," she said before leaving the training area, giving the poor cadets the keeping-my-eye-on-you look.
Scorpia stretched out her limbs and rested her claws behind her head as she swiveled in her own fancy chair.
Back to business as usual indeed.
Pics
If you aimed for a solid glimpse into the lives of the villanous trio, rest assured. You did a remarkable job.
SoL comedies are harder than people think because you run the risk of ending up with an aimless inane work that does little to exploit the character's potential, but you did quite well. Adora, Entrapta, and Scorpia all felt in-character. It was really nice.
Scorpia in particular I enjoyed. She was a real pal throughout the story and still as charming as in the show.
I don't have much to say because I don't feel there's much to be said about the story. It promises comfy times, and it delivers comfy times. Drama, comedy, all neatly tied together.
Good job.
SoL comedies are harder than people think because you run the risk of ending up with an aimless inane work that does little to exploit the character's potential, but you did quite well. Adora, Entrapta, and Scorpia all felt in-character. It was really nice.
Scorpia in particular I enjoyed. She was a real pal throughout the story and still as charming as in the show.
I don't have much to say because I don't feel there's much to be said about the story. It promises comfy times, and it delivers comfy times. Drama, comedy, all neatly tied together.
Good job.
Now there's a hell of a title. I went into this with more than a little trepidation, but it turned out to be unwarranted. Mostly. I mean, yeah, we have a a nigh-obsessive focus on bodily fluids, but it's all front-end stuff, so I'm not too put off.
So, once we've wiped away all the snot, what do we have here? A cute little hurt/comfort fic. The plot is simple enough: Catra gets sick. Catra continues to obsess over Adora. Scorpia looks after her by … acting the part of Adora to a feverish and hallucinating Catra, thereby allowing her to find her old tough-bitch self and get back on track.
I want to say I have two big problems with this. Except they're entangled enough that they could just be facets of a single problem. And I'm not really sure if they/it are/is actually problems.
Semi-problem one: There doesn't seem to much linking the events of this story together. Catra has some issues with Adora. That's fine – we can take it as given. And Catra gets sick. That's also fine as a way to kick things off, but the story tells us that she very rarely gets sick, which makes it seem like there's something else going on here. What? Is it linked somehow to Adora? I have no idea. And then Scorpia looks after her. That follows on in a causal sense, but it doesn't seem to have other significant connection to what's going on. And then at last Catra gets better, and everything fine again. Again, it follows – fevers usually retreat at some point – but that's about it. As a sequence of events, it's on a par with “I didn't have any milk so I went to the shop and bought some milk and then I came home and put the milk in the fridge.”
The second semi-problem is character. Why is this entangled with the above problem? Because one of the big ways to link events is by characterisation. Good characterisation informs how your characters are effected and the choices they make in response. It links up events in a way that's emotionally meaningful. Conversely, when its lacking, those choices start to feel arbitrary or trivial. So, what's the characterisation here? It's very thin on the ground. Scorpia is chirpy and really likes Catra. We already knew that. Catra has loads of baggage about being abandoned by Adora. We already knew that.
That said, there is one thing we do learn about Catra, an admission that she probably would only make in a fevered state: She feels guilty about leaving Adora behind on the cliff. Aha! This is good. It expands on what we saw in the show, and demonstrates the emotional relevance of those events to Catra. This is the focus of the story, and to a degree it counters my criticisms above. Everything leads to this revelation, and it gives the story coherence. But … it doesn't feel like enough. It's there and gone in a few lines, and that's it.
Am I being too harsh? This is only 2000 words, after all. I can't reasonably ask for a full dive into Catra's personality and relationship with Scorpia. And yet, I still fell unsatisfied. Perhaps I would feel more satisfied if less of the story had been spent on talking about snot and puke, and more on Catra's confession, or on how that guilt manifests earlier in her training the cadets (you could show this with her reaction to one cadet leaving anther hanging, like she did to Adora in the first episode).
And I suppose by this point I've talked myself into a somewhat coherent understanding of “Fuck Adora!”. I want more focus on the things that matter, and less focus on the things that don't.
So, once we've wiped away all the snot, what do we have here? A cute little hurt/comfort fic. The plot is simple enough: Catra gets sick. Catra continues to obsess over Adora. Scorpia looks after her by … acting the part of Adora to a feverish and hallucinating Catra, thereby allowing her to find her old tough-bitch self and get back on track.
I want to say I have two big problems with this. Except they're entangled enough that they could just be facets of a single problem. And I'm not really sure if they/it are/is actually problems.
Semi-problem one: There doesn't seem to much linking the events of this story together. Catra has some issues with Adora. That's fine – we can take it as given. And Catra gets sick. That's also fine as a way to kick things off, but the story tells us that she very rarely gets sick, which makes it seem like there's something else going on here. What? Is it linked somehow to Adora? I have no idea. And then Scorpia looks after her. That follows on in a causal sense, but it doesn't seem to have other significant connection to what's going on. And then at last Catra gets better, and everything fine again. Again, it follows – fevers usually retreat at some point – but that's about it. As a sequence of events, it's on a par with “I didn't have any milk so I went to the shop and bought some milk and then I came home and put the milk in the fridge.”
The second semi-problem is character. Why is this entangled with the above problem? Because one of the big ways to link events is by characterisation. Good characterisation informs how your characters are effected and the choices they make in response. It links up events in a way that's emotionally meaningful. Conversely, when its lacking, those choices start to feel arbitrary or trivial. So, what's the characterisation here? It's very thin on the ground. Scorpia is chirpy and really likes Catra. We already knew that. Catra has loads of baggage about being abandoned by Adora. We already knew that.
That said, there is one thing we do learn about Catra, an admission that she probably would only make in a fevered state: She feels guilty about leaving Adora behind on the cliff. Aha! This is good. It expands on what we saw in the show, and demonstrates the emotional relevance of those events to Catra. This is the focus of the story, and to a degree it counters my criticisms above. Everything leads to this revelation, and it gives the story coherence. But … it doesn't feel like enough. It's there and gone in a few lines, and that's it.
Am I being too harsh? This is only 2000 words, after all. I can't reasonably ask for a full dive into Catra's personality and relationship with Scorpia. And yet, I still fell unsatisfied. Perhaps I would feel more satisfied if less of the story had been spent on talking about snot and puke, and more on Catra's confession, or on how that guilt manifests earlier in her training the cadets (you could show this with her reaction to one cadet leaving anther hanging, like she did to Adora in the first episode).
And I suppose by this point I've talked myself into a somewhat coherent understanding of “Fuck Adora!”. I want more focus on the things that matter, and less focus on the things that don't.
Alternate Title: Puke, Sweat, and More Puke
I'm gonna be real with you, author, I almost abstained from this. Not because it's bad, but because when I look at that title I think of an entry that's way more of the shitpost breed, and I tend to skip out on shitpost entries.
But surprisingly, this entry is way more sincere than its edgy title would indicate. As cheeky as the title is (it's memorable, if nothing else), I feel like it acts as a red herring for a story that actually works as a story and not a shitpost. Oh, it's a comedy, no doubt about that. Everything from the title to the heavily colloquial prose to the sequence of events presents the reader with a general sense of playfulness.
Even the feverish confession from Catra doesn't try too hard to take away from the enveloping atmosphere of lulz and bodily fluids, but I'll get more into that when I get to negatives.
Also, Scorpia is the protagonist here, I think? Her POV seems the most established, and I like how nice she still is. Actually I'd say the three named characters here are characterized reasonably well, albeit not getting too much time to flourish.
And that's one way to segue into the big problem I have with this entry, which is its length.
While this is longer than the shortest entry, and stuff actually happens in it, it all feels too abridged. The pacing is quick, but too quick for the reader to get a good grasp on any single thing happening. I would've thought the fever confessional scene would make up the meat of this story, but I don't even think it was much longer than the first two scenes. As with "Caught Between Confusion and Pain," I think this entry deserves expansion.
Like, for example, I think I get what the author was doing with the first and last scenes. The story has kind of a circular thing going on where the ending is pretty much like the beginning, but with a small change (Catra no longer being sick), and the final line seems to hint at this, but the scenes are all so short that I don't think this circular structure entirely works.
At the very least I think this entry needs far more of a middle section, expanding the second and third scenes, maybe adding an extra scene focusing on Catra interacting with the cadets.
A final nitpick, but while I like Scorpia's characterization here, I would appreciate more substance for her character that we weren't already familiar with. There are hints at Scorpia's friendship with Catra evolving to be more reciprocated, but hints are usually inadequate for this sort of character-heavy stuff.
But yeah, messy bodily fluids aside, I'm pleasantly surprised with what this entry turned out to be.
I'm gonna be real with you, author, I almost abstained from this. Not because it's bad, but because when I look at that title I think of an entry that's way more of the shitpost breed, and I tend to skip out on shitpost entries.
But surprisingly, this entry is way more sincere than its edgy title would indicate. As cheeky as the title is (it's memorable, if nothing else), I feel like it acts as a red herring for a story that actually works as a story and not a shitpost. Oh, it's a comedy, no doubt about that. Everything from the title to the heavily colloquial prose to the sequence of events presents the reader with a general sense of playfulness.
Even the feverish confession from Catra doesn't try too hard to take away from the enveloping atmosphere of lulz and bodily fluids, but I'll get more into that when I get to negatives.
Also, Scorpia is the protagonist here, I think? Her POV seems the most established, and I like how nice she still is. Actually I'd say the three named characters here are characterized reasonably well, albeit not getting too much time to flourish.
And that's one way to segue into the big problem I have with this entry, which is its length.
While this is longer than the shortest entry, and stuff actually happens in it, it all feels too abridged. The pacing is quick, but too quick for the reader to get a good grasp on any single thing happening. I would've thought the fever confessional scene would make up the meat of this story, but I don't even think it was much longer than the first two scenes. As with "Caught Between Confusion and Pain," I think this entry deserves expansion.
Like, for example, I think I get what the author was doing with the first and last scenes. The story has kind of a circular thing going on where the ending is pretty much like the beginning, but with a small change (Catra no longer being sick), and the final line seems to hint at this, but the scenes are all so short that I don't think this circular structure entirely works.
At the very least I think this entry needs far more of a middle section, expanding the second and third scenes, maybe adding an extra scene focusing on Catra interacting with the cadets.
A final nitpick, but while I like Scorpia's characterization here, I would appreciate more substance for her character that we weren't already familiar with. There are hints at Scorpia's friendship with Catra evolving to be more reciprocated, but hints are usually inadequate for this sort of character-heavy stuff.
But yeah, messy bodily fluids aside, I'm pleasantly surprised with what this entry turned out to be.