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Accurate
In a smoke-filled living room, after having a couple of drinks and wracking my brain for ideas, I sat down to write a My Little Pony fanfiction.
Maybe you know the feeling.
I know you didn't ask, but quietly, in my mind, I often compare it to the feeling I get from playing a video game—the flow, the familiar rhythm, the subconscious perception of progress that rewards while pushing, like a father—yet with none of the stale aftertaste of replayed content that video games have.
Every new story is fresh, a new sapling springing into bud in the garden of my mind, infinitely precious and infinitely delicate.
Doesn't that sound a little ridiculous? A no-life gamer waxing poetic about fanfiction?
But...
Well, what else can I do?
Princess Twilight Sparkle trudged up the mountain. The blizzard had grounded her, but she was nearing her goal.
She was swathed in furs, with a snow cloak breaking the wind. The snow chilled her ears, muzzle, and hooves, but the warmth of exertion was enough for her.
In the chaos and buzz of white, a dark blotch appeared.
That's got to be it.
With her destination now within her sights, Twilight's eyes shone like rainbows. Despising the cold, she picked up her pace.
The dark blotch materialized as a mountain cave. Twilight stepped inside.
"Hello?" she said, to a chorus of echoes.
The mountain groaned, and the wind howled, but the cave was inviting, and the overdone crackle of burning twigs betrayed life within.
As Twilight advanced, a sudden rumble shook the ground beneath her hooves, followed by silence. The howling wind quieted down, and Twilight was alone with her breath.
From around the bend of the cave, where the shadows of a fire flickered, a soft voice called to her.
"Be not afraid, traveler. Please, stay until the blizzard passes."
Twilight cast about. As she did, a motion caught the corner of her eye, and she watched as a cushion, a table, a cup, a plate of fruit, and a steaming tea kettle apparated into a near corner of the cave.
"I will not disturb you, traveler, nor ask why you have ascended this mountain. In return, I ask that you not disturb me."
"Actually," Twilight choked out in a nervous haste, "I've come to talk with you."
Silence settled into the cave like a snowdrift. Twilight was in no danger, yet her heart was fluttering.
"So," began the voice. "So, you knew I was here, and you know who I am."
"Of course I do!" sputtered Twilight. "You're the great sage, the one to whom no mysteries are hidden. The ancient dragon, possessed by Wisdom herself." She stepped tentatively toward the bend of the cave, toward the flickering fire which cast shadows on the wall.
"Traveler," said the dragon. "Your voice..."
"It's me," responded Twilight, with an earnest plea in her voice. "Spike... it's me."
"You wish to know the truth of our cosmos, its creation, its destiny?" The tender voice of the ancient dragon felt like a raised weapon.
Twilight returned the ancient dragon's stare, with no less steady a glance. "I must. The fate of Equestria depends upon it."
The dragon huffed, and the wind of it nearly extinguished the crackling flame that stood between them.
"Twilight," said the dragon, "this world..." There was a mournfulness in his tone. "This world is a fiction, conceived by an author. A very imperfect author, lacking in imagination and moral sense."
Twilight, stunned, pinned her eyes to the ground. "You mean, metaphorically?"
"No, Twilight," said Spike, and there were tears in his eyes. "I mean it literally. You, and I, and everyone, we're all trapped in a story being written by an idiot! And there's no way out for us!"
Spike knew that because I told him. Everything that happens is at my whim.
Imagine it. It's all happening at my idiotic whim!
All I want... look. The reason I write. All I want is for Twilight Sparkle, and all her friends... no... everypony in Equestria to have happy lives!
I mean it!
But I'm just an idiot... no-life gamer, no experience of the world...
Heh. Look at this: I'm crying.
I just—I love Twilight Sparkle so much and my only desire is to give her a happy life and I can't do it because I'm not a good enough writer and... I don't see a way out of this...
I... just...
What else can I do?
Maybe you know the feeling.
I know you didn't ask, but quietly, in my mind, I often compare it to the feeling I get from playing a video game—the flow, the familiar rhythm, the subconscious perception of progress that rewards while pushing, like a father—yet with none of the stale aftertaste of replayed content that video games have.
Every new story is fresh, a new sapling springing into bud in the garden of my mind, infinitely precious and infinitely delicate.
Doesn't that sound a little ridiculous? A no-life gamer waxing poetic about fanfiction?
But...
Well, what else can I do?
Princess Twilight Sparkle trudged up the mountain. The blizzard had grounded her, but she was nearing her goal.
She was swathed in furs, with a snow cloak breaking the wind. The snow chilled her ears, muzzle, and hooves, but the warmth of exertion was enough for her.
In the chaos and buzz of white, a dark blotch appeared.
That's got to be it.
With her destination now within her sights, Twilight's eyes shone like rainbows. Despising the cold, she picked up her pace.
The dark blotch materialized as a mountain cave. Twilight stepped inside.
"Hello?" she said, to a chorus of echoes.
The mountain groaned, and the wind howled, but the cave was inviting, and the overdone crackle of burning twigs betrayed life within.
As Twilight advanced, a sudden rumble shook the ground beneath her hooves, followed by silence. The howling wind quieted down, and Twilight was alone with her breath.
From around the bend of the cave, where the shadows of a fire flickered, a soft voice called to her.
"Be not afraid, traveler. Please, stay until the blizzard passes."
Twilight cast about. As she did, a motion caught the corner of her eye, and she watched as a cushion, a table, a cup, a plate of fruit, and a steaming tea kettle apparated into a near corner of the cave.
"I will not disturb you, traveler, nor ask why you have ascended this mountain. In return, I ask that you not disturb me."
"Actually," Twilight choked out in a nervous haste, "I've come to talk with you."
Silence settled into the cave like a snowdrift. Twilight was in no danger, yet her heart was fluttering.
"So," began the voice. "So, you knew I was here, and you know who I am."
"Of course I do!" sputtered Twilight. "You're the great sage, the one to whom no mysteries are hidden. The ancient dragon, possessed by Wisdom herself." She stepped tentatively toward the bend of the cave, toward the flickering fire which cast shadows on the wall.
"Traveler," said the dragon. "Your voice..."
"It's me," responded Twilight, with an earnest plea in her voice. "Spike... it's me."
"You wish to know the truth of our cosmos, its creation, its destiny?" The tender voice of the ancient dragon felt like a raised weapon.
Twilight returned the ancient dragon's stare, with no less steady a glance. "I must. The fate of Equestria depends upon it."
The dragon huffed, and the wind of it nearly extinguished the crackling flame that stood between them.
"Twilight," said the dragon, "this world..." There was a mournfulness in his tone. "This world is a fiction, conceived by an author. A very imperfect author, lacking in imagination and moral sense."
Twilight, stunned, pinned her eyes to the ground. "You mean, metaphorically?"
"No, Twilight," said Spike, and there were tears in his eyes. "I mean it literally. You, and I, and everyone, we're all trapped in a story being written by an idiot! And there's no way out for us!"
Spike knew that because I told him. Everything that happens is at my whim.
Imagine it. It's all happening at my idiotic whim!
All I want... look. The reason I write. All I want is for Twilight Sparkle, and all her friends... no... everypony in Equestria to have happy lives!
I mean it!
But I'm just an idiot... no-life gamer, no experience of the world...
Heh. Look at this: I'm crying.
I just—I love Twilight Sparkle so much and my only desire is to give her a happy life and I can't do it because I'm not a good enough writer and... I don't see a way out of this...
I... just...
What else can I do?
This story is all right. The opening line is pretty plain and could use some work, but once you get to the meat / the middle of the story, there's some good quality phrasing and flow and tone.
We've had a fair number of writeoffs, and a fair number of "can't think of writeoff entry ideas" type metafics. However, I want to give the author the benefit of the doubt, and see if there's something more here.
And please note: From this point on, I'm using "the author" to refer to the character and not the author irl. Otherwise, this feels too personal, and I want to offer criticism of the work, not of the irl author :o
There's kind of a theme of happiness here ([...] my only desire is to give her a happy life [...]). I like how there's sort of a dichotomy here, where the author wants to give Twilight a happy life, and yet she doesn't in the story presented. She wouldn't be out in a blizzard like this if she was happy / content with the way things were. Heck, Spike's got it worse. He's ancient, and long lost, and sounds almost resigned in his dialogue. And yet, all the author wants is for the characters of MLP to have happy lives. Maybe because the author, like Twilight and Spike, wants a happy life and currently doesn't have one?
There's also a kind of tangent that came to mind; the trade-off between creating something where the characters lead happy lives, and conflict. Because conflict is central to a story, right? Every story needs conflict. However, that means making the characters unhappy with their current situation and wanting something better. I'm thinking of this theme mainly because of the fact that the author's in this story, talking to us about writing and wanting the characters to have happy lives.
I'm not sure if there's another level to this. Otherwise, this doesn't really stand out in my mind from other "can't think of writeoff entry ideas" type metafics. It reads well. I'm just not sure what the takeaway is, and I guess it doesn't help that, as we see in the last line, the author isn't sure either.
We've had a fair number of writeoffs, and a fair number of "can't think of writeoff entry ideas" type metafics. However, I want to give the author the benefit of the doubt, and see if there's something more here.
And please note: From this point on, I'm using "the author" to refer to the character and not the author irl. Otherwise, this feels too personal, and I want to offer criticism of the work, not of the irl author :o
There's kind of a theme of happiness here ([...] my only desire is to give her a happy life [...]). I like how there's sort of a dichotomy here, where the author wants to give Twilight a happy life, and yet she doesn't in the story presented. She wouldn't be out in a blizzard like this if she was happy / content with the way things were. Heck, Spike's got it worse. He's ancient, and long lost, and sounds almost resigned in his dialogue. And yet, all the author wants is for the characters of MLP to have happy lives. Maybe because the author, like Twilight and Spike, wants a happy life and currently doesn't have one?
There's also a kind of tangent that came to mind; the trade-off between creating something where the characters lead happy lives, and conflict. Because conflict is central to a story, right? Every story needs conflict. However, that means making the characters unhappy with their current situation and wanting something better. I'm thinking of this theme mainly because of the fact that the author's in this story, talking to us about writing and wanting the characters to have happy lives.
I'm not sure if there's another level to this. Otherwise, this doesn't really stand out in my mind from other "can't think of writeoff entry ideas" type metafics. It reads well. I'm just not sure what the takeaway is, and I guess it doesn't help that, as we see in the last line, the author isn't sure either.
I abstained from voting because I’m not exceptionally fond of metafics. This would have been interesting if you did something with the meta, but really all this story did was outline the author intentions of a happy ending for all ponies. And like, there wasn’t even one here. The story presented that Twilight and Spike went through was fragmented and contextless. So yeah, I dunno.
>>RogerDodger
Can you point me to where the rules are listed? I've clicked all over the site and don't see them anywhere, so I must be missing something obvious.
Can you point me to where the rules are listed? I've clicked all over the site and don't see them anywhere, so I must be missing something obvious.
>>Pascoite
They're actually one of the option buttons for each event. Kind of odd placement, but I suppose it's in case a new event has a new rule set.
Current rules for this round: https://writeoff.me/event/76-Cold-Comfort/rules
They're actually one of the option buttons for each event. Kind of odd placement, but I suppose it's in case a new event has a new rule set.
Current rules for this round: https://writeoff.me/event/76-Cold-Comfort/rules