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Where the Shadows Run · Original Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
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On My Way
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#1 ·
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I like your color selection, especially with how the background buildings interact with the sky. A couple of the details do feel a little off to b e (the hair, the shading on the rubble), but I think I like the overall composition you're going for.

Thanks for arting!
#2 · 2
· · >>Bachiavellian
As many an artist has noted, rubble is hard. Kudos for taking a hack at it!

It took me a while, but I finally noticed that there's one light in the skyscraper – being tucked up in the corner like that make is easy to miss, even though the person (guessing, woman?) is probably noticing it just the same way I did. Speaking of details squirreled away, that is a huge moon there on the left side, assuming that it is a moon and not anything else... Occam's razor would suggest... And is it intentional for stars to be there on the far right side?

I'm not sure about the perspective here. As it doesn't look like there is (or ever was) any form of railing, one would expect that the white surface we see is the floor; if this is the case, taking with other visual clues, it is probably near-level, but if that is the case then where is the horizon? ...unless, somehow, this city is really, really tall?

The person is fairly well-drawn. Good work on the hands, especially. The overlap of the legs suggests walking fairly well, but the belt line and shoulders don't fully agree with this suggestion – her(?) looking up like she is, taking the shoulders with the gesture, further make it less clear. Other main issue is the clothing: The lines-as-creases suggest a really stiff, unforgiving fabric for the top; I have no idea what's going on with the creases on the left arm, and the left knee/thigh is questionable; the left cuff also doesn't seem to be curled around the arm as reality would suggest (but good try?). The zipper should probably be dangling down, now upwards?

And don't bash yourself in the alt-text. Just don't. If you wouldn't write an author's note at the start of your story saying "My jokes in this one are all lame feghoots," the same principle applies. If, for some reason, you would, either have a very good reason for doing so, or don't
#3 ·
· · >>Bachiavellian
I'm getting a "Last of Us" / "Mirror's Edge" vibe going on here. Excellent visual storytelling. The rubble is the least appealing part of this canvas to me, but as my friends pointed out, rubble is tedious and difficult to get right, so it's points for the attempt in my book. Very ambitious!
#4 ·
· · >>Bachiavellian
I'm wondering if this is somewhat Shadowrun inspired, or if I'm just getting that mood from moonlight and crumbling concrete in a big city. I gotta agree with Kwirky as well, don't put yourself down! Shadows really are hard, but you don't have to tell your audience what you think the weaknesses of your piece are. Make as best you can, and let people enjoy it how they will. I do enjoy this, as well! I like that you used a dappled brush for moonlight, and I like the mood that has. If you're working further on lighting, I'd say you should try to mess with multiple shades and intensities of light and shadow. Parts of the rubble pile on the left would probably have darker shading where multiple shadows overlap, and the edges of the light, especially moonlight, are often softer. I do like the composition here and the mood you captured, well done!
#5 ·
· · >>Bachiavellian
This is a dark moody scene with latent drama that holds up well. My main advice, Artist, is to try varying your line widths here and there; it will help to add character to the scene and accentuate certain details. It will also help your rubble to look more dimensional. Thank you for making this, Artist!
#6 ·
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Retro: The Purble Place

In which I demonstrate once again, that I have no idea how to draw hair, shadows, perspective, clothing creases. or concrete. But at least I seem to be doing hands right, judging by the feedback from the last few of these. :P

>>KwirkyJ
... assuming that it is a moon and not anything else...


Yes, it's supposed to be. Dagnabbit.

And is it intentional for stars to be there on the far right side?


No, they're not supposed to be. Dagnabbit.

... but if that is the case then where is the horizon? ...unless, somehow, this city is really, really tall?


The girl is supposed to be on the thirdish/fourthish floor of a parking-lot sort of structure, with the buildings in the background being really tall (20/30 floors) and decently far. Mostly because I didn't want to bother with drawing streets or smaller buildings in the midground. :P

The lines-as-creases suggest a really stiff, unforgiving fabric for the top; I have no idea what's going on with the creases on the left arm, and the left knee/thigh is questionable; the left cuff also doesn't seem to be curled around the arm as reality would suggest (but good try?)


This is what I get for studying how to draw creased clothes for about half an hour before trying my hand at it. Thanks for letting me know what didn't work!

The zipper should probably be dangling down, now upwards?


DAGNABBIT.

If you wouldn't write an author's note at the start of your story saying "My jokes in this one are all lame feghoots," the same principle applies.


This is a really good point, actually. In hindsight, I'm a little surprised that I didn't think about it this way, considering how much I dislike how some stories start with 'disclaimers' about being bad or a first-time writer. I guess it has to do with my relative lack of confidence/experience with art, as opposed to writing. Thanks a lot for pointing it out. If I'm asking people to judge my art seriously, I should take it seriously myself.

Thanks a lot for your thoughts!

>>thebandbrony
Huh! The tone I was going for was actually "Last of Us" and "Dying Light", even though I haven't played the latter. So you get half-credit for that answer. :P

Thanks for your review!

>>DuskPhoenix
I did not have Shadowrun specifically in mind, but I did play a couple of campaigns like two or three years ago. So it might have been percolating in my subconscious somewhere.

If you're working further on lighting, I'd say you should try to mess with multiple shades and intensities of light and shadow


So this time, I tried something different which was to use a layer to set the whole piece to a middle tone and tint up for light and down for shadows. Honestly, I was kind of nervous about overdoing it, so it's good to hear that you actually had the opposite problem.

Thanks for the feedback!

>>GroaningGreyAgony
My main advice, Artist, is to try varying your line widths here and there


I know a lot of artists use their tablet's pressure setting to vary stroke width/boldness. So I should probably take it as a hint to hurry up and commit to getting away from my mouse and buying a tablet. :P

Appreciate your review!