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Double Jeopardy
The glare of the spotlights wasn't half as wilting as the whispering from the darkened audience beyond.
Starlight Glimmer, sprawled lazily in the contestant's booth two seats away, turned her head toward Chrysalis and slowly raised an eyebrow. "You're going to kill a prisoner."
Being arthropods, changelings didn't blush — but Chrysalis had spent enough time in pony form to feel phantom heat in her cheeks as the crowd's whispers turned to suppressed laughter. She shoved herself upright in her chair, baring her teeth. "Is the master villain so willfully blind that she finds that so hard to believe?"
"Here we go again," Twilight Sparkle muttered caustically from the seat between them, slumped over her podium. "Another lecture to the ponies outscoring her on evil points ten to one."
"You're not even evil!" Chrysalis screeched. "You 'solve problems' with friendship —"
Her sentence trailed off into a strangled little cough as she felt the tingle of magic clench around her tongue. "Stars and clouds," Starlight shouted toward the ceiling, "do you ever shut up?"
Chrysalis reflexively tried to light her own horn to counter it. Her magic flared, sputtered, and died. As the audience erupted into open hoots and catcalls, and panic stirred in her breast, she glanced to the bored-looking figured in the emcee's seat. Nightmare Moon — grooming a hoof-edge with a file held in her magic — surveyed the scene disaffectedly and then looked down at her hoof again.
"The only one who isn't evil here is you!" Starlight bellowed, tugging at Chrysalis' tongue for punctuation as the crowd cheered. "Because you're stupid!"
Twilight languidly stood up, stretching her wings out. "Apparently we have to explain even this basic thing, which is a disappointment I really should have expected."
"Do you know why I locked Twilight in a room for reprogramming when I've got Equestria's greatest mind control powers?" Starlight said.
"Or why I let her come live with me based just on a promise to be better, when I had friendship lasers and outnumbered her six to one?"
Starlight leaned in. "Because we could have solved the problem by force. It would have been easy. It would have been, briefly, satisfying."
"And," Twilight smoothly added, "it would have cost us everything. A powerful asset. Gloating rights." A smirk spread across Twilight's muzzle. "And the ability to watch my foe suffer for years as the guilt ate her from the inside out."
"You think the ability to kill gives you power?" Starlight said. "Oh, you poor, pathetic fool. Power comes from making beings want to obey you."
Twilight slowly walked up to Chrysalis, caressing the underside of her jaw with a hoof as the crowd's cheering redoubled. "From respect."
"You think we respect you?" Starlight said, then inclined her head at the crowd. "You think they do?"
"And if they'll do this to your face," Twilight said as the surging emotions from the beings in the darkness began to crowd out Chrysalis' thoughts, "what will they do when you aren't awake to keep them in line?"
Chrysalis jerked upright with a gasp.
She blinked repeatedly as her throne room swam back into focus. Her honor guard stood at attention at the doors, and the background hum of her hive-link tickled at her groggy mind. The captured alicorns were still slumbering in the pods glued to the floor to her right. If it weren't for her tight chest and her clammy chitin, everything would have been perfect.
Just a dream.
She swallowed through a dry throat. No laughter. Just a dream.
Behind her, a throat cleared, and she nearly jumped out of her exoskeleton before placing it with her hive-sense as her seneschal Red Mandibles. "What?" she snapped, trying to cover her lingering fear with irritation.
"I said, my queen, that the executors you ordered to suck the prisoners dry have arrived, and are waiting just outside."
Chrysalis glanced at him, then slowly turned her head to the pods. She stared at the alicorns for a while as her breathing slowed.
"Not just yet," she finally said.
Starlight Glimmer, sprawled lazily in the contestant's booth two seats away, turned her head toward Chrysalis and slowly raised an eyebrow. "You're going to kill a prisoner."
Being arthropods, changelings didn't blush — but Chrysalis had spent enough time in pony form to feel phantom heat in her cheeks as the crowd's whispers turned to suppressed laughter. She shoved herself upright in her chair, baring her teeth. "Is the master villain so willfully blind that she finds that so hard to believe?"
"Here we go again," Twilight Sparkle muttered caustically from the seat between them, slumped over her podium. "Another lecture to the ponies outscoring her on evil points ten to one."
"You're not even evil!" Chrysalis screeched. "You 'solve problems' with friendship —"
Her sentence trailed off into a strangled little cough as she felt the tingle of magic clench around her tongue. "Stars and clouds," Starlight shouted toward the ceiling, "do you ever shut up?"
Chrysalis reflexively tried to light her own horn to counter it. Her magic flared, sputtered, and died. As the audience erupted into open hoots and catcalls, and panic stirred in her breast, she glanced to the bored-looking figured in the emcee's seat. Nightmare Moon — grooming a hoof-edge with a file held in her magic — surveyed the scene disaffectedly and then looked down at her hoof again.
"The only one who isn't evil here is you!" Starlight bellowed, tugging at Chrysalis' tongue for punctuation as the crowd cheered. "Because you're stupid!"
Twilight languidly stood up, stretching her wings out. "Apparently we have to explain even this basic thing, which is a disappointment I really should have expected."
"Do you know why I locked Twilight in a room for reprogramming when I've got Equestria's greatest mind control powers?" Starlight said.
"Or why I let her come live with me based just on a promise to be better, when I had friendship lasers and outnumbered her six to one?"
Starlight leaned in. "Because we could have solved the problem by force. It would have been easy. It would have been, briefly, satisfying."
"And," Twilight smoothly added, "it would have cost us everything. A powerful asset. Gloating rights." A smirk spread across Twilight's muzzle. "And the ability to watch my foe suffer for years as the guilt ate her from the inside out."
"You think the ability to kill gives you power?" Starlight said. "Oh, you poor, pathetic fool. Power comes from making beings want to obey you."
Twilight slowly walked up to Chrysalis, caressing the underside of her jaw with a hoof as the crowd's cheering redoubled. "From respect."
"You think we respect you?" Starlight said, then inclined her head at the crowd. "You think they do?"
"And if they'll do this to your face," Twilight said as the surging emotions from the beings in the darkness began to crowd out Chrysalis' thoughts, "what will they do when you aren't awake to keep them in line?"
Chrysalis jerked upright with a gasp.
She blinked repeatedly as her throne room swam back into focus. Her honor guard stood at attention at the doors, and the background hum of her hive-link tickled at her groggy mind. The captured alicorns were still slumbering in the pods glued to the floor to her right. If it weren't for her tight chest and her clammy chitin, everything would have been perfect.
Just a dream.
She swallowed through a dry throat. No laughter. Just a dream.
Behind her, a throat cleared, and she nearly jumped out of her exoskeleton before placing it with her hive-sense as her seneschal Red Mandibles. "What?" she snapped, trying to cover her lingering fear with irritation.
"I said, my queen, that the executors you ordered to suck the prisoners dry have arrived, and are waiting just outside."
Chrysalis glanced at him, then slowly turned her head to the pods. She stared at the alicorns for a while as her breathing slowed.
"Not just yet," she finally said.
Pics
Genre: I lost on Jeopardy... baby... ooo oo oooo...
Thoughts: The trope of "it was just a dream!" can be a 2x4 with which to smack a reader who was otherwise getting invested in your story. In this case, though, it's a 2x4 that the story uses to build itself a stage to stand on and crow once the reader finally gets to the reveal.
(Okay, so it's not my best metaphor. You get what you pay for!!) :-p
I'll confess, I wasn't sold on this until the [ hr ] break. It's so weird! It builds up the expectation of a dream reveal, then it does the dream reveal... and then we get a poignant little moment that's full of character and potential.
Mega-props to the Author for taking aim at a really hard kind of story and executing it well. Props also for taking the art prompt and playing it to the hilt!
TBH the only thing I can complain about is that "Red Mandibles" is kind of a weird name.
Tier: Top Contender
Thoughts: The trope of "it was just a dream!" can be a 2x4 with which to smack a reader who was otherwise getting invested in your story. In this case, though, it's a 2x4 that the story uses to build itself a stage to stand on and crow once the reader finally gets to the reveal.
(Okay, so it's not my best metaphor. You get what you pay for!!) :-p
I'll confess, I wasn't sold on this until the [ hr ] break. It's so weird! It builds up the expectation of a dream reveal, then it does the dream reveal... and then we get a poignant little moment that's full of character and potential.
Mega-props to the Author for taking aim at a really hard kind of story and executing it well. Props also for taking the art prompt and playing it to the hilt!
TBH the only thing I can complain about is that "Red Mandibles" is kind of a weird name.
Tier: Top Contender
I liked this, and I don't have very many suggestions. I will say, though, I initially read this as a comedy, even though it's really a drama. But that's likely purely because of the picture you took as the prompt.
Like >>CoffeeMinion says, the reveal was actually great. I usually hate "it was all just a dream!" premises because they invalidate any meaning from the story, but you did an excellent job of tying the meaning of the dream into Chrysalis's waking personality, flaws, and insecurities. Nicely done!
Like >>CoffeeMinion says, the reveal was actually great. I usually hate "it was all just a dream!" premises because they invalidate any meaning from the story, but you did an excellent job of tying the meaning of the dream into Chrysalis's waking personality, flaws, and insecurities. Nicely done!
What Skywriter said. You took a well-done but kinda goofy picture and turned it into a treatise on character motivations and the consequences of power abuse. Just, hot damn. I don't really have much of anything to add beyond how impressed I am.
Actually... thinking on it a moment before hitting the post comment button, it is a bit curious that Nightmare Moon is the hostess/emcee, yet doesn't really do anything except file her hooves. This seems to take place during the S6finale, or possible the early stages of the Canterlot Invasion timeline, and now I'm wondering if the entire dream sequence wasn't a sub-subconscious pitch by Luna to keep them alive for a while longer for help to arrive. Hence, Nightmare Moon's presence, but not interaction: she's only extant enough to set the stage, not act.
But hey, that's just a theory—a fan theory.
Actually... thinking on it a moment before hitting the post comment button, it is a bit curious that Nightmare Moon is the hostess/emcee, yet doesn't really do anything except file her hooves. This seems to take place during the S6finale, or possible the early stages of the Canterlot Invasion timeline, and now I'm wondering if the entire dream sequence wasn't a sub-subconscious pitch by Luna to keep them alive for a while longer for help to arrive. Hence, Nightmare Moon's presence, but not interaction: she's only extant enough to set the stage, not act.
But hey, that's just a theory—a fan theory.
My only complaint with this one is that it was easy to lose track of who was talking sometimes. This led me to believe that this was set in an alternate timeline wherein Starlight (and a cadre of friendship-laser-armed friends) had successfully brainwashed Twilight into becoming evil. Then, after getting an apologetic letter from Twilight promising to be more eviller, allowed her to move in to her castle.
Not bad, though the dream angle felt obvious to start with. The dialog was a big confusing though, as it felt scattered (authentically dreamlike?) I guess I would've preferred more examples of ponies being evil (scoring points) instead of just mocking/teasing Chrysalis. Still, a great, serious twist on the image prompt!