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Planned Obsolescence
I cast aside a single dewy rose,
One blossom from the edge of the bouquet.
It wasn’t wilted yet. Its color glows,
Its petals curved and parted all the way,
Its leaves still green, and stem yet foliose,
And its deep scent keeps rising up to say
How firm it clings to life in fair repose,
And yet this fair sweet rose I cast away.
Like all the other blooms in this array,
Its stem is cut, and none shall last the day.
A prudent pruner is the one who knows
As one is wilting, there another grows.
There’s scarcely room for nascent ones to splay,
And little prospect for the ones that gray.
And so I cast a single rose away.
One blossom from the edge of the bouquet.
It wasn’t wilted yet. Its color glows,
Its petals curved and parted all the way,
Its leaves still green, and stem yet foliose,
And its deep scent keeps rising up to say
How firm it clings to life in fair repose,
And yet this fair sweet rose I cast away.
Like all the other blooms in this array,
Its stem is cut, and none shall last the day.
A prudent pruner is the one who knows
As one is wilting, there another grows.
There’s scarcely room for nascent ones to splay,
And little prospect for the ones that gray.
And so I cast a single rose away.
Hah, the prompt appearing right in the first line make me think this author was the one who submitted that prompt.
The rhyme scheme is very good. The meter at least maintains syllable count, but the stress patterns of "edge of the bouquet" and "and its deep scent" are forced.
I think it takes the title to understand what happens, which is fine. I like the theme that once cut, the flower will die, but its scent lasts as it clings to life, but then another will come to take its place. Then the speaker seems callous to all that, as they don't sound wistful at all about casting away the entire flower. It's just business as usual. Beauty is disposable.
The rhyme scheme is very good. The meter at least maintains syllable count, but the stress patterns of "edge of the bouquet" and "and its deep scent" are forced.
I think it takes the title to understand what happens, which is fine. I like the theme that once cut, the flower will die, but its scent lasts as it clings to life, but then another will come to take its place. Then the speaker seems callous to all that, as they don't sound wistful at all about casting away the entire flower. It's just business as usual. Beauty is disposable.
A single rose was cast aside that day,
There seems no purpose to the one they chose.
Those sundered only fall in dark dismay
And sink into the dust to decompose.
There seems no purpose to the one they chose.
Those sundered only fall in dark dismay
And sink into the dust to decompose.
>>Pascoite
Planned Obsolescence
I did in fact submit the prompt, but I did not have a preconception of this particular piece when I did so. I generally try to enter prompts with pleasing metrics, more so in the poetry rounds.
A sonnet is usually a reliable way to make sure that one reaches the word count, so I tried it first. It came together neatly, and the theme from my point of view was perhaps colored by the feelings one gets in middle age that the world is getting ready to discard you in favor of the coming generations.
The extra line at the end stands for the discarded rose and I felt it was a nice touch.
Thank you very much for your review!
Planned Obsolescence
I did in fact submit the prompt, but I did not have a preconception of this particular piece when I did so. I generally try to enter prompts with pleasing metrics, more so in the poetry rounds.
A sonnet is usually a reliable way to make sure that one reaches the word count, so I tried it first. It came together neatly, and the theme from my point of view was perhaps colored by the feelings one gets in middle age that the world is getting ready to discard you in favor of the coming generations.
The extra line at the end stands for the discarded rose and I felt it was a nice touch.
Thank you very much for your review!