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One More Time
Gasping churns the burning air around me,
Pain with clasping teeth and crackling fire.
Anger's threats have roared and nearly drowned me,
Push it all away my one desire.
Decades stack, accrete; my spirits tire,
Long to lose the ancient woes that crowned me.
Magic feathers droop, my claws perspire,
Gasping churns the burning air around me.
Nature's ways are clear; they can't confound me.
Frighten, yes: I'd call them slightly dire.
Flames devour the creaking chains that bound me.
Pain with clasping teeth and crackling fire
Ought to work, my every birthing pyre
Death to death. Its shackles can't impound me.
Free my soul when, doomed by angst and ire,
Anger's threats have roared and nearly drowned me.
Clear my head. Forget the way it's browned me,
Charred and embered. True results require
Sublimation, lengths that still astound me,
Push it all away my one desire.
Questions bristle: worth the muck and mire,
Worth another stretch of doubts that hound me?
Maybe so. I hear the chanting choir,
Flap and dive before the fear can ground me.
Gasping churns...
Pain with clasping teeth and crackling fire.
Anger's threats have roared and nearly drowned me,
Push it all away my one desire.
Decades stack, accrete; my spirits tire,
Long to lose the ancient woes that crowned me.
Magic feathers droop, my claws perspire,
Gasping churns the burning air around me.
Nature's ways are clear; they can't confound me.
Frighten, yes: I'd call them slightly dire.
Flames devour the creaking chains that bound me.
Pain with clasping teeth and crackling fire
Ought to work, my every birthing pyre
Death to death. Its shackles can't impound me.
Free my soul when, doomed by angst and ire,
Anger's threats have roared and nearly drowned me.
Clear my head. Forget the way it's browned me,
Charred and embered. True results require
Sublimation, lengths that still astound me,
Push it all away my one desire.
Questions bristle: worth the muck and mire,
Worth another stretch of doubts that hound me?
Maybe so. I hear the chanting choir,
Flap and dive before the fear can ground me.
Gasping churns...
I might not have figured it out without the prompt it was written to, but I guess the speaker is a phoenix? One that's been confined, it seems, but why is unknown. Interesting that the B rhymes are ones that can be taken as either one syllable or two (though it technically doesn't matter, since the form doesn't require meter; with the two-syllable version, it's all the same meter on every line, or for one-syllable versions, that still persists for all such lines and is consistent). And that structure! A rondeau redouble, which I wouldn't have known, except I just wrote one a month ago. And what a pain it is to write since it's a long form to use only two rhymes (much easier to do in the original French, since they have so many more words that rhyme). I'm impressed you found that many to work with the two-syllable rhymes. (In my case, the half-line at the end also rhymed with the A lines, but that's also not a requirement). Well done.
>>Pascoite
Thanks!
Yeah, I'll definitely need to whole phoenix idea in there better when sending it out. Oh, and if you're looking for a form where the half-line is supposed to rhyme with the B lines, check out the Roundel. It's got fewer lines, too, which makes it work a lot better in English. :)
Mike
Thanks!
Yeah, I'll definitely need to whole phoenix idea in there better when sending it out. Oh, and if you're looking for a form where the half-line is supposed to rhyme with the B lines, check out the Roundel. It's got fewer lines, too, which makes it work a lot better in English. :)
Mike