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With a Rattle of the Metal · Poetry Short Short ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 100–2000
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#1 · 1
· · >>Baal Bunny
Nice looping rhyme scheme, and there are no fumbles in the meter. I'm a little unsure of the actual plot. Some people feeling beat down by their jobs watch a parade go by, but whether the music is actual steel drums or just resembles it, I can't tell. It being robots also hints at a more sci-fi setting, but I can't really envision it. And maybe there's not an actual parade, but the robots on an assembly line are being imagined as one? The bouncy, lyrical quality matches the subject matter well.
#2 · 1
·
>>Pascoite

Thanks, Pasco:

And everyone who voted, too. Yeah, I think another stanza ot two shoehorned into the middle will help set the scene better, then it's off to Silver Blade magazine to see if they're interested in renting it from me. :)

Mike