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Zany Zacharias and Zoological Zoe
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
That creeps on my porch giving me wolf whistles. Im calling the police.
Cant sleep. Wanna talk?
Also sorry bout spelling mistakes. Really not feeling smart tonight. Solo pub crawl.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Not George again? I’ll have a word with him tomorrow in math.
Yay you did my pub thing! Feels good?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Hes weird. You help some poor dude getting bullied, textbooks thrown on the floor, and he stalks you. I shoulda let him get bullied. Wolf whistles NOT COOL.
Math homework sorted? You struggling wit that?
No, feel like shit. Hangovers suck. Thanks for nothing.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
George still there? He’ll give up. That’s why he sucked at gym.
God, don’t remind me. I can’t figure this out. You? With biology, I mean?
Sorry to hear that. Thought pubbing might be good for your stress.
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Bio easy as pie. I dunno tho. Maybe I should dumb homework down? Don’t wanna look too nerdy. Mary and Tina not talking to me now. I wish they did. It hurts. Boys beat each other up to bully and I wish Mary’d just do that, get it over with. Bet it hurts less.
Weird creepy psycho George still here. Seriously Im calling the police.
Still feel awful. You come over tonight? I got better idea for de-stressing, IYKWIM.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Don’t dumb it down, kay? You’re smart and funny and beautiful and honest. You are my gold package. Mary and Tina are the elitist bitches, not you. It’s not your fault they can’t study like you.
Don’t call the police on him! You’ll give him a criminal record. He’s a retard, not a psycho. Wait him out. He’ll leave.
Oh, IKWYM all right!
I think.
IYKWIM = If Ya Know What I Mean?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
It’s not just them. Everyone think sI’m funny. Ever since I got back from Oxford, they think my head’s always up my ass. I chucked out some Latin for fun once and they looked at me like I killed someone. I really, really want that placement, but do I have to throw my friends under a bus too? I can’t do that to them. They helped me out at school when I had that trouble with Sandra. I NEED them.
Alright I wont, but he’s freaky. Doing wolf impressions now. Honest to god it’s scary. Why won;t he’d fuck off?
*rolls eyes* Yes you got that right. But you know what IYKWIM really means, smart boi?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
You’re smarter than me, gal. Oxford would be great for you! Brendan told me it’s stiffer than a dead guy, but it’s top of the college charts. You could go places! Don’t throw that away. Please, you deserve the best. You don’t have to throw your friends under a bus. Just talk to them. They’ll come around.
Yeah, he doesn’t understand people being nice =/= people want him 24/7. Seriously, cut him some slack. I helped him through school. He’s like a puppy dropped from birth.
Also, IYKWIM. Real quick: is it sex?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Oh god. He’s gone quiet now. I had to check he’s still there. And I feel like crap. Please help me!
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
You forgot the XXXXXX thing! You okay?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Fuckkin get over here. HES BREAKING IN
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Heading ovr
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
I’m home again. Sending as promised. You okay?
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
How the hell did you do that!?
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
I told you. He wasn’t trying to break in. He just hits the window over and over. It’s like a tic. Just say reassuring things; he leaves eventually.
George is an oddball, yeah, but I’ve spent time with the guy. I know what he does and why he does it. And he’s spent time with me too, knowing me and stuff. That’s all there is to it.
Zach.
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Alright. How’s this? All of us spend time together sometime. Me, you, Mary, Tina, and Brendan. I can’t remember when we last went out together. Anyway, drinking by myself was crap.
Thanks. You’re my guardian angel.
A really dumb guardian angel! Boi, that math homework was piss-easy!
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Hahahahahaha no. I’ll get smarter, you’ll see.
Night-night, my gold package.
P.S. That was some mighty fine IYKWIM.
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Oh, IKWYM all right. ;)
Love you, Zach.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
That creeps on my porch giving me wolf whistles. Im calling the police.
Cant sleep. Wanna talk?
Also sorry bout spelling mistakes. Really not feeling smart tonight. Solo pub crawl.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Not George again? I’ll have a word with him tomorrow in math.
Yay you did my pub thing! Feels good?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Hes weird. You help some poor dude getting bullied, textbooks thrown on the floor, and he stalks you. I shoulda let him get bullied. Wolf whistles NOT COOL.
Math homework sorted? You struggling wit that?
No, feel like shit. Hangovers suck. Thanks for nothing.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
George still there? He’ll give up. That’s why he sucked at gym.
God, don’t remind me. I can’t figure this out. You? With biology, I mean?
Sorry to hear that. Thought pubbing might be good for your stress.
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Bio easy as pie. I dunno tho. Maybe I should dumb homework down? Don’t wanna look too nerdy. Mary and Tina not talking to me now. I wish they did. It hurts. Boys beat each other up to bully and I wish Mary’d just do that, get it over with. Bet it hurts less.
Weird creepy psycho George still here. Seriously Im calling the police.
Still feel awful. You come over tonight? I got better idea for de-stressing, IYKWIM.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Don’t dumb it down, kay? You’re smart and funny and beautiful and honest. You are my gold package. Mary and Tina are the elitist bitches, not you. It’s not your fault they can’t study like you.
Don’t call the police on him! You’ll give him a criminal record. He’s a retard, not a psycho. Wait him out. He’ll leave.
Oh, IKWYM all right!
I think.
IYKWIM = If Ya Know What I Mean?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
It’s not just them. Everyone think sI’m funny. Ever since I got back from Oxford, they think my head’s always up my ass. I chucked out some Latin for fun once and they looked at me like I killed someone. I really, really want that placement, but do I have to throw my friends under a bus too? I can’t do that to them. They helped me out at school when I had that trouble with Sandra. I NEED them.
Alright I wont, but he’s freaky. Doing wolf impressions now. Honest to god it’s scary. Why won;t he’d fuck off?
*rolls eyes* Yes you got that right. But you know what IYKWIM really means, smart boi?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
You’re smarter than me, gal. Oxford would be great for you! Brendan told me it’s stiffer than a dead guy, but it’s top of the college charts. You could go places! Don’t throw that away. Please, you deserve the best. You don’t have to throw your friends under a bus. Just talk to them. They’ll come around.
Yeah, he doesn’t understand people being nice =/= people want him 24/7. Seriously, cut him some slack. I helped him through school. He’s like a puppy dropped from birth.
Also, IYKWIM. Real quick: is it sex?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Oh god. He’s gone quiet now. I had to check he’s still there. And I feel like crap. Please help me!
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
You forgot the XXXXXX thing! You okay?
Zach
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Fuckkin get over here. HES BREAKING IN
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Heading ovr
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
I’m home again. Sending as promised. You okay?
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
How the hell did you do that!?
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
I told you. He wasn’t trying to break in. He just hits the window over and over. It’s like a tic. Just say reassuring things; he leaves eventually.
George is an oddball, yeah, but I’ve spent time with the guy. I know what he does and why he does it. And he’s spent time with me too, knowing me and stuff. That’s all there is to it.
Zach.
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Alright. How’s this? All of us spend time together sometime. Me, you, Mary, Tina, and Brendan. I can’t remember when we last went out together. Anyway, drinking by myself was crap.
Thanks. You’re my guardian angel.
A really dumb guardian angel! Boi, that math homework was piss-easy!
To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com
Hahahahahaha no. I’ll get smarter, you’ll see.
Night-night, my gold package.
P.S. That was some mighty fine IYKWIM.
To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com
Oh, IKWYM all right. ;)
Love you, Zach.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I'm trying my best to understand how the creepazoid, the post-secondary education scandal, and the relationship between these two characters relate to each other. All I'm seeing is three conversations happening at once that don't seem to relate to each other at all. And it's frustrating having to jump between them so much.
And yeah, I mean, people do use IM/email this way. It's not weird for people to carry on three conversations at once when they're forced to take turns talking. And the execution of the email medium works really well, but it's just come at a cost of the story itself. It's very realistic, but it totally distracts from the story, rather than supporting it.
Retroactive addition: You've also set yourself up here by making your title draw so much attention to these two characters. Zany Zach and Zoological Zoe, huh-whoa! What weird names! But you really have to follow-up on that title with some vibrant characters, or at least relate them to their respective adjectives. And who has ever been vibrant over email?
Sorry, Author. It looks like I've whiffed on this entry. But best of luck all the same.
And yeah, I mean, people do use IM/email this way. It's not weird for people to carry on three conversations at once when they're forced to take turns talking. And the execution of the email medium works really well, but it's just come at a cost of the story itself. It's very realistic, but it totally distracts from the story, rather than supporting it.
Retroactive addition: You've also set yourself up here by making your title draw so much attention to these two characters. Zany Zach and Zoological Zoe, huh-whoa! What weird names! But you really have to follow-up on that title with some vibrant characters, or at least relate them to their respective adjectives. And who has ever been vibrant over email?
Sorry, Author. It looks like I've whiffed on this entry. But best of luck all the same.
I’d say that people don’t use email anymore for that sort of dialogue. It should’ve been framed as an instant messaging conversation or something.
There are really two stories intertwined here. The first is the "wooing" between the boy and the girl, and the other one is the "freak" howling out of the girl's house. They seem to run separately, Sure, they "intersect" at the end, but you don’t even build upon that, so it’s more like grazing than real interference.
So this fic is really a bit of an oddball, yeah. I can’t really say I emerged from it very satisfied. The idea is nice, but the execution – IMHO :P – lacks a bit.
There are really two stories intertwined here. The first is the "wooing" between the boy and the girl, and the other one is the "freak" howling out of the girl's house. They seem to run separately, Sure, they "intersect" at the end, but you don’t even build upon that, so it’s more like grazing than real interference.
So this fic is really a bit of an oddball, yeah. I can’t really say I emerged from it very satisfied. The idea is nice, but the execution – IMHO :P – lacks a bit.
This one, on the other hand, was deliberately experimental in format. Thus, I'm not particularly surprised it didn't make it. One of the nice things about writing more than one entry is that I feel a lot more comfortable trying something different every other fic. Costs me points, sometimes, but not enough to do too much damage. And it gives the reader something to be happily cross about. ;D
>>Miller Minus
>>Monokeras
I did have a guiding theme uniting the disparate threads: misunderstanding different mindsets. The obvious example is George, whose behaviour is scarily unfathomable to Zoe but familiar and less worrying to Zach. That's why the "George is an oddball" line is there. The second example is between Zoe and her friends; because Zoe's studious and wants to get into Oxford, her friends see her as an elitist, whereas Zach appreciates that she wants the best for herself and isn't excluding her friends on account of it. The last example is between Zoe and Zach, since Zach himself is slightly dimmer than Zoe but familiar enough with her to not feel too bad about it. In all cases, there are two parties with different perspectives, and the solution generally involves spending more time with them (hence why Zoe is a little less neurotic after Zach finally goes over to help). It's not meant to be as random as it first looks.
And now I'm thinking I'm not very good at getting my point across. Is it too obscure?
Also, just in case this was a factor in people's judgement of it: Yes, the spelling mistakes were deliberately used for verisimilitude. In fact, I generally tried to make them predominantly happen in Zoe's emails to indicate her neuroticism, which Zach lacks and which Zoe eases up on after his visit.
Lastly, I picked email because that's what I predominantly use. Though I suppose I should've used something more up-to-date, I was going on familiarity.
>>Miller Minus
>>Monokeras
I did have a guiding theme uniting the disparate threads: misunderstanding different mindsets. The obvious example is George, whose behaviour is scarily unfathomable to Zoe but familiar and less worrying to Zach. That's why the "George is an oddball" line is there. The second example is between Zoe and her friends; because Zoe's studious and wants to get into Oxford, her friends see her as an elitist, whereas Zach appreciates that she wants the best for herself and isn't excluding her friends on account of it. The last example is between Zoe and Zach, since Zach himself is slightly dimmer than Zoe but familiar enough with her to not feel too bad about it. In all cases, there are two parties with different perspectives, and the solution generally involves spending more time with them (hence why Zoe is a little less neurotic after Zach finally goes over to help). It's not meant to be as random as it first looks.
And now I'm thinking I'm not very good at getting my point across. Is it too obscure?
Also, just in case this was a factor in people's judgement of it: Yes, the spelling mistakes were deliberately used for verisimilitude. In fact, I generally tried to make them predominantly happen in Zoe's emails to indicate her neuroticism, which Zach lacks and which Zoe eases up on after his visit.
Lastly, I picked email because that's what I predominantly use. Though I suppose I should've used something more up-to-date, I was going on familiarity.
>>BlueChameleonVI
The main conflict here seems to be Zoe being concerned and later threatened by Geoge. The rest is present, but somehow pushed into the background, and frankly it feels like a diversion. Like small-talk you don’t really care about, or sauce poured over the meat.
Also, I think everyone understood that the spelling errors were deliberate, all the more that you signal it at the beginning. Now, do they add anything to the story, I’m not certain.
The main conflict here seems to be Zoe being concerned and later threatened by Geoge. The rest is present, but somehow pushed into the background, and frankly it feels like a diversion. Like small-talk you don’t really care about, or sauce poured over the meat.
Also, I think everyone understood that the spelling errors were deliberate, all the more that you signal it at the beginning. Now, do they add anything to the story, I’m not certain.