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The Plight of the Unicorn-American
Cherish Fields is riding high, though no one can put a saddle on this mare. As the star of the hit children’s television show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, she has set records for being the highest-paid Unicorn-American actor three years running. Originally slated to last only a single season, the hit television show is now in its sixth season, with three spinoff movies and two more in production.
“It’s been really amazing,” Cherish said when interviewed about her experience with the show. “I remember watching reruns of the original show back when I was growing up, but I never could have dreamed that the reboot could be so successful. I’m incredibly grateful to Lauren [Faust] for giving me the opportunity to star in this show, and to all the members of the staff who have done so much to pull for us.”
According to IU magazine, the cast is doing well indeed. This year Cherish and her co-stars – Jewel Turner, Candace Baker, Merriweather Gail, Skye Byrd, and Jacqueline Chapman – have for the first time received compensation for the merchandise bearing their likenesses, rumored to amount to over $10 million dollars each – vastly higher than what the original stars received in the 1980s.
The growing popularity of the My Little Pony franchise with the public, especially with its recent emphasis on unicorns, is broadly seen as a indication of growing acceptance for Unicorn-Americans in greater American society. But while the cast of My Little Pony can hold their heads high in Hollywood, many Unicorn-Americans continue to struggle with a legacy of discrimination, poverty, and marginalization from greater American society.
Originally descended from ancient tribes concentrated in Eastern Europe, throughout much of history unicorns have struggled to fit into human society. Largely supersceded in manual labor by horses and oxen, animals who require no pay beyond hay and a barn to sleep in, they were often forced to lead an agrarian existence, herding sheep and cattle to trade and supplying labor in hazardous conditions where the less sure-footed horses would likely go lame.
The decline of the Catholic Church on mainland Europe threatened their traditional way of life. Invisible to over 40% of sexually active teenagers and 85% of sexually active adults, unicorns had long relied on the clergy and monastic orders to act as intermediaries in commerce and everyday life, and in return some unicorns enjoyed a high standard of living working to ensure that holy vows were being honored. Facing economic ruin, many unicorns fled to western Europe and the British Isles in the wake of the Protestant Reformation. Anti-unicorn pogroms in the 17th century sped up the process, and today only 5% of unicorns live in their ancestral homeland in Eastern Europe.
As much of the population had few ties to their new homeland, many unicorns joined in the colonization of the New World. In the English colonies of North America, many Irish unicorns were brought over as indentured servants, signed up to work for many years planting crops and ploughing fields before they gained their freedom. As more horses were brought to the new world, demand for unicorn labor fell, but an ever-increasing number of unicorns braved the seas to come to the Americas in search of greener pastures.
Early unicorn colonists were often used as a buffer between the Native Americans and the human colonists, working with young whites and natives and carrying goods between them in trade – but also serving as spies and skirmishers, often ambushing tribes while their young scouts were distracted or asleep. While many human natives eventually made their peace with the unicorns, their controversial role in the Buffalo-American Wars – and the subsequent mass migration of unicorns out of the East into the West – has continued to plague relations between Unicorn-Americans and the Buffalo, who feel that the unicorns, despite being a fellow marginalized people, were nevertheless willing to assist in the destruction of their way of life and forcing them onto reservations in the arid lands of Oklahoma and Arizona. However, as Archer Long of the NAAU explains, it isn’t so simple.
“We unicorns are why we won the Revolution in the first place . Without unicorn invisibility, Paul Revere would have got his skinny flank shot. Not to mention the charge of the French unicorn cavalry during the Battle of Yorktown. But what did we get? All men are created equal? Where was our right to vote? The male landowner laws were meant to keep us out. Back then, mares owned the property, and they weren’t allowed to vote on account of their sex. Moving out West and making our own rules was the only way for us to get our rights.”
Indeed, Unicorn-Americans played an integral role in the women’s suffrage movement. The heavily Unicorn-American states of Utah and Wyoming gave women and mares alike the right to vote in the 1860s, and by the time of 19th Amendment, most of the West had legalized it. However, this earned them few friends in the liquor or prophylactic industry, both heavily opposed by unicorns due to their perceived role in crime, intemperance – and, most importantly to the unicorns – sexual promiscuity.
Unfortunately, the passage of the 18th and 19th Amendments marked the high-water mark for unicorn political power. Facing political hostility over Prohibition, competition from mechanized labor designed for humans, and the disastrous Dust Bowl, many unicorns were forced to the brink of economic ruin during the Great Depression. Many sold their lands at cut-rate prices and moved, near penniless, to the West Coast. The promise of the silver screen drew many to Hollywood, but they found few roles there – at the time, cartoons and movies were seen as adult entertainment, and few could appreciate the antics of unicorns on screen. While they landed some roles, most notably Tadhg Moore’s starring role in the 1950 film Harvey, there was little place for them in cinema.
By the 1970s, the fortunes of Unicorn-Americans were in decline. With increasing knowledge of the importance of parent-teacher contact, unicorns increasingly found it difficult to remain employed in primary schools, and the rise of the service economy and the importance of face-to-face contact drove increasingly large numbers of unicorns into the ever-diminishing agricultural sector. While some large landowners and investors in real-estate did well, many found themselves competing with Mexican immigrants for low-paying agricultural work. Even the Catholic Church, long a refuge for the unicorns, turned increasingly hostile as large numbers of priests and children lost their ability to see them. Accused of trying to turn people against the church, unicorns in many parishes were driven out and lost their last reliable means of contact with many adult humans in the wake of the Sexual Revolution.
It was into this environment that Ronald Reagan and the Moral Majority appeared. Abstinence-only education, with the promise of reducing pre-marital sex and allowing more people to see unicorns well into adulthood, combined with questionable claims of “born again virgins” regaining their ability to see their horned neighbors, helped turn many Democratic unicorns into staunch Republican voters. Reagan’s contested nomination in 1976, along with his eventual overwhelming victories in 1980 and 1984, could largely be attributed to intense campaigning by the unicorns, who believed that their economic future relied on the success of their socially conservative platform.
While president, Reagan passed many laws perceived as benefitting Unicorn-Americans, including the deregulation of children’s cartoons and further legislating mandating children’s programming on Saturday mornings. Unicorns found many roles as voice actors and even on-screen during the 1980s, most notably in the earliest of the My Little Pony movies and shows. While this greatly benefitted the unicorns still living in the Los Angeles area and other regions heavily involved in television shows and the entertainment industry, most unicorns benefitted little from Reagan’s policies. Increased illegal immigration from Mexico was further driving down the price of agricultural labor, and with many educated unicorns no longer able to find work in education, things were still looking grim.
While Reagan remains a respected figure in the community, many unicorns feel increasingly alienated from social and political life. While the Catholic Church has made overtures to the unicorns in the wake of the child abuse scandals of the 1990s, many unicorns feel that they can no longer trust it as an organization. Combined with the revelation that abstinance-only education increases rates of pre-marital sex and the whole-hearted embrace of the gay community during the last quarter-century, many unicorns no longer feel comfortable embracing social and religious conservatism. But the Democrats’ friendliness towards illegal immigrants and failed promises to provide jobs in the areas in which many unicorns live has made many in rural Unicorn-American communities feel as if there is no one in America who cares about them and their problems.
This includes their urban counterparts, such as Unicorn-American pediatrician Davin Healy, whose controversial comments have drawn the ire of the IAAU.
“The truth is that the jobs are not coming back. Most humans just aren’t interested in making life easier for us, so we have to find work for ourselves doing what we can. They need to get an education and move into professions where our talents are appreciated.”
Dr. Healy believes that the technology and medical sectors are a place for unicorns to prosper.
“The ancient association between unicorn horns and healing is no mistake. Dr. Ward gave her name to medicine. Dr. Foley was instrumental in bringing down deaths from childbirth. If unicorns just stopped living in the past and blaming the Church for everything, they wouldn’t have anything to complain about. Well, other than BART not being properly built for us.”
Other unicorns in Silicon Valley have found work in the computer industry. Over 20% of Google’s workforce consists of unicorns, and many other big employers, both in California and in the Silicon Forest of Portland and Seattle, employ large numbers of unicorns.
“It is really an ideal environment for us,” says Misty Steele, CEO of Alicorn.com, whose company has grown from a way for unicorns to purchase devices designed specifically for unicorns to a major retailing powerhouse which claimed over $10 billion in sales last year. “We don’t have to see our customers face-to-face, but we can still provide excellent customer service and support – better than any big-box retail store.”
When asked about discrimination against stallions in Silicon Valley, she denied it. “There are a lot of lonely mares who work in tech companies,” she admits. “But most of them are polite and courteous. And really, they’re the exception rather than the rule. None of the major companies employ unicorns who say that stallions are only good for ploughing fields anymore. That’s simply unacceptable behavior.”
Maud Gross agrees. Internationally renowned as “N0H0rn”, one of the rising stars of the professional gaming community (and occasional guest-star on My Little Pony in the role of one of the primary cast member’s cousins) agrees. In our online interview, she noted that “Gamers aren’t sexist. A lot of them just don’t have many social skills. A lot of us really would love to meet a stallion who loves video games.”
But she notes that a lot of unicorns in rural areas don’t have the same opportunities she did. “They don’t even have dialup half the time. It is hard to play a game like CounterStrike or Call of Duty on satellite Internet.” She notes that before Alicorn.com started selling unicorn-specific devices, a lot of unicorns didn’t play video games or use computers at all, and a lot of them still don’t realize those things are available. “I can’t really blame them for not knowing. American Internet is terrible once you get out into the sticks. And it is hard to just walk into a store and ask for help. A lot of unicorns don’t realize that most of the clerks at GameStop can actually see you.”
Her own lifetime-long battle with shyness eventually culminated in her getting a guest role in My Little Pony. Rumors abound that she’s going to return this year. When we asked if she was going to return, she replied, “Mmmhmm.”
And what does Cherish Fields think? In our interview, she gave a very thoughtful response.
“My Little Pony is intended to capture the friendship between people of all races and species. It is set in a world where everyone can see you, and where unicorns are a respected part of the community. I like to think that the human fans of our show are showing their support for the entire Unicorn-American community. Maybe someday, the real world will be more like Equestria, and everyone will be able to be friends.”
“There’s nothing wrong with working in the fields, but there’s equally nothing wrong with working in fashion, or sports, or as a scientist or a doctor or a baker. There are so many opportunities out there. I know we seem invisible sometimes, but in the end, as long as we let the light of hope shine not only from our horns, but our hearts, we’ll find our place.”
“It’s been really amazing,” Cherish said when interviewed about her experience with the show. “I remember watching reruns of the original show back when I was growing up, but I never could have dreamed that the reboot could be so successful. I’m incredibly grateful to Lauren [Faust] for giving me the opportunity to star in this show, and to all the members of the staff who have done so much to pull for us.”
According to IU magazine, the cast is doing well indeed. This year Cherish and her co-stars – Jewel Turner, Candace Baker, Merriweather Gail, Skye Byrd, and Jacqueline Chapman – have for the first time received compensation for the merchandise bearing their likenesses, rumored to amount to over $10 million dollars each – vastly higher than what the original stars received in the 1980s.
The growing popularity of the My Little Pony franchise with the public, especially with its recent emphasis on unicorns, is broadly seen as a indication of growing acceptance for Unicorn-Americans in greater American society. But while the cast of My Little Pony can hold their heads high in Hollywood, many Unicorn-Americans continue to struggle with a legacy of discrimination, poverty, and marginalization from greater American society.
Originally descended from ancient tribes concentrated in Eastern Europe, throughout much of history unicorns have struggled to fit into human society. Largely supersceded in manual labor by horses and oxen, animals who require no pay beyond hay and a barn to sleep in, they were often forced to lead an agrarian existence, herding sheep and cattle to trade and supplying labor in hazardous conditions where the less sure-footed horses would likely go lame.
The decline of the Catholic Church on mainland Europe threatened their traditional way of life. Invisible to over 40% of sexually active teenagers and 85% of sexually active adults, unicorns had long relied on the clergy and monastic orders to act as intermediaries in commerce and everyday life, and in return some unicorns enjoyed a high standard of living working to ensure that holy vows were being honored. Facing economic ruin, many unicorns fled to western Europe and the British Isles in the wake of the Protestant Reformation. Anti-unicorn pogroms in the 17th century sped up the process, and today only 5% of unicorns live in their ancestral homeland in Eastern Europe.
As much of the population had few ties to their new homeland, many unicorns joined in the colonization of the New World. In the English colonies of North America, many Irish unicorns were brought over as indentured servants, signed up to work for many years planting crops and ploughing fields before they gained their freedom. As more horses were brought to the new world, demand for unicorn labor fell, but an ever-increasing number of unicorns braved the seas to come to the Americas in search of greener pastures.
Early unicorn colonists were often used as a buffer between the Native Americans and the human colonists, working with young whites and natives and carrying goods between them in trade – but also serving as spies and skirmishers, often ambushing tribes while their young scouts were distracted or asleep. While many human natives eventually made their peace with the unicorns, their controversial role in the Buffalo-American Wars – and the subsequent mass migration of unicorns out of the East into the West – has continued to plague relations between Unicorn-Americans and the Buffalo, who feel that the unicorns, despite being a fellow marginalized people, were nevertheless willing to assist in the destruction of their way of life and forcing them onto reservations in the arid lands of Oklahoma and Arizona. However, as Archer Long of the NAAU explains, it isn’t so simple.
“We unicorns are why we won the Revolution in the first place . Without unicorn invisibility, Paul Revere would have got his skinny flank shot. Not to mention the charge of the French unicorn cavalry during the Battle of Yorktown. But what did we get? All men are created equal? Where was our right to vote? The male landowner laws were meant to keep us out. Back then, mares owned the property, and they weren’t allowed to vote on account of their sex. Moving out West and making our own rules was the only way for us to get our rights.”
Indeed, Unicorn-Americans played an integral role in the women’s suffrage movement. The heavily Unicorn-American states of Utah and Wyoming gave women and mares alike the right to vote in the 1860s, and by the time of 19th Amendment, most of the West had legalized it. However, this earned them few friends in the liquor or prophylactic industry, both heavily opposed by unicorns due to their perceived role in crime, intemperance – and, most importantly to the unicorns – sexual promiscuity.
Unfortunately, the passage of the 18th and 19th Amendments marked the high-water mark for unicorn political power. Facing political hostility over Prohibition, competition from mechanized labor designed for humans, and the disastrous Dust Bowl, many unicorns were forced to the brink of economic ruin during the Great Depression. Many sold their lands at cut-rate prices and moved, near penniless, to the West Coast. The promise of the silver screen drew many to Hollywood, but they found few roles there – at the time, cartoons and movies were seen as adult entertainment, and few could appreciate the antics of unicorns on screen. While they landed some roles, most notably Tadhg Moore’s starring role in the 1950 film Harvey, there was little place for them in cinema.
By the 1970s, the fortunes of Unicorn-Americans were in decline. With increasing knowledge of the importance of parent-teacher contact, unicorns increasingly found it difficult to remain employed in primary schools, and the rise of the service economy and the importance of face-to-face contact drove increasingly large numbers of unicorns into the ever-diminishing agricultural sector. While some large landowners and investors in real-estate did well, many found themselves competing with Mexican immigrants for low-paying agricultural work. Even the Catholic Church, long a refuge for the unicorns, turned increasingly hostile as large numbers of priests and children lost their ability to see them. Accused of trying to turn people against the church, unicorns in many parishes were driven out and lost their last reliable means of contact with many adult humans in the wake of the Sexual Revolution.
It was into this environment that Ronald Reagan and the Moral Majority appeared. Abstinence-only education, with the promise of reducing pre-marital sex and allowing more people to see unicorns well into adulthood, combined with questionable claims of “born again virgins” regaining their ability to see their horned neighbors, helped turn many Democratic unicorns into staunch Republican voters. Reagan’s contested nomination in 1976, along with his eventual overwhelming victories in 1980 and 1984, could largely be attributed to intense campaigning by the unicorns, who believed that their economic future relied on the success of their socially conservative platform.
While president, Reagan passed many laws perceived as benefitting Unicorn-Americans, including the deregulation of children’s cartoons and further legislating mandating children’s programming on Saturday mornings. Unicorns found many roles as voice actors and even on-screen during the 1980s, most notably in the earliest of the My Little Pony movies and shows. While this greatly benefitted the unicorns still living in the Los Angeles area and other regions heavily involved in television shows and the entertainment industry, most unicorns benefitted little from Reagan’s policies. Increased illegal immigration from Mexico was further driving down the price of agricultural labor, and with many educated unicorns no longer able to find work in education, things were still looking grim.
While Reagan remains a respected figure in the community, many unicorns feel increasingly alienated from social and political life. While the Catholic Church has made overtures to the unicorns in the wake of the child abuse scandals of the 1990s, many unicorns feel that they can no longer trust it as an organization. Combined with the revelation that abstinance-only education increases rates of pre-marital sex and the whole-hearted embrace of the gay community during the last quarter-century, many unicorns no longer feel comfortable embracing social and religious conservatism. But the Democrats’ friendliness towards illegal immigrants and failed promises to provide jobs in the areas in which many unicorns live has made many in rural Unicorn-American communities feel as if there is no one in America who cares about them and their problems.
This includes their urban counterparts, such as Unicorn-American pediatrician Davin Healy, whose controversial comments have drawn the ire of the IAAU.
“The truth is that the jobs are not coming back. Most humans just aren’t interested in making life easier for us, so we have to find work for ourselves doing what we can. They need to get an education and move into professions where our talents are appreciated.”
Dr. Healy believes that the technology and medical sectors are a place for unicorns to prosper.
“The ancient association between unicorn horns and healing is no mistake. Dr. Ward gave her name to medicine. Dr. Foley was instrumental in bringing down deaths from childbirth. If unicorns just stopped living in the past and blaming the Church for everything, they wouldn’t have anything to complain about. Well, other than BART not being properly built for us.”
Other unicorns in Silicon Valley have found work in the computer industry. Over 20% of Google’s workforce consists of unicorns, and many other big employers, both in California and in the Silicon Forest of Portland and Seattle, employ large numbers of unicorns.
“It is really an ideal environment for us,” says Misty Steele, CEO of Alicorn.com, whose company has grown from a way for unicorns to purchase devices designed specifically for unicorns to a major retailing powerhouse which claimed over $10 billion in sales last year. “We don’t have to see our customers face-to-face, but we can still provide excellent customer service and support – better than any big-box retail store.”
When asked about discrimination against stallions in Silicon Valley, she denied it. “There are a lot of lonely mares who work in tech companies,” she admits. “But most of them are polite and courteous. And really, they’re the exception rather than the rule. None of the major companies employ unicorns who say that stallions are only good for ploughing fields anymore. That’s simply unacceptable behavior.”
Maud Gross agrees. Internationally renowned as “N0H0rn”, one of the rising stars of the professional gaming community (and occasional guest-star on My Little Pony in the role of one of the primary cast member’s cousins) agrees. In our online interview, she noted that “Gamers aren’t sexist. A lot of them just don’t have many social skills. A lot of us really would love to meet a stallion who loves video games.”
But she notes that a lot of unicorns in rural areas don’t have the same opportunities she did. “They don’t even have dialup half the time. It is hard to play a game like CounterStrike or Call of Duty on satellite Internet.” She notes that before Alicorn.com started selling unicorn-specific devices, a lot of unicorns didn’t play video games or use computers at all, and a lot of them still don’t realize those things are available. “I can’t really blame them for not knowing. American Internet is terrible once you get out into the sticks. And it is hard to just walk into a store and ask for help. A lot of unicorns don’t realize that most of the clerks at GameStop can actually see you.”
Her own lifetime-long battle with shyness eventually culminated in her getting a guest role in My Little Pony. Rumors abound that she’s going to return this year. When we asked if she was going to return, she replied, “Mmmhmm.”
And what does Cherish Fields think? In our interview, she gave a very thoughtful response.
“My Little Pony is intended to capture the friendship between people of all races and species. It is set in a world where everyone can see you, and where unicorns are a respected part of the community. I like to think that the human fans of our show are showing their support for the entire Unicorn-American community. Maybe someday, the real world will be more like Equestria, and everyone will be able to be friends.”
“There’s nothing wrong with working in the fields, but there’s equally nothing wrong with working in fashion, or sports, or as a scientist or a doctor or a baker. There are so many opportunities out there. I know we seem invisible sometimes, but in the end, as long as we let the light of hope shine not only from our horns, but our hearts, we’ll find our place.”
This is cute, and is strong because it's so surprisingly thorough. That being said, I'm not sure that it'd work for any audience that's not this one. There's not an actual plot here, as much as there is a lot of clever thought experiments presented expositionally. As a story, this would have fared far better, for me at least, in a FiM writeoff. But perhaps you needed this prompt for the opportunity to write it.
My god, this story is full of puns.
Beautiful, beautiful puns.
I do enjoy how you managed to make horse names out of human names, though.
Anyway, I liked this on the whole, but I'm kind of a sucker for false documents. Writing a fake magazine article about the plight of unicorns in human society was a cute idea, and the idea that they're a largely-ignored minority who struggle with the fact that only virgins can see them is deeply amusing to me. The exploration of the various meta-issues surrounding having a bunch of sentient unicorns as a normal part of society is a lot of fun, and this was a silly little piece of historical fiction that made me smile.
The off-hand joke about the Buffalo made me chuckle, but it also made me wonder if there are Dragon-Americans as well, and how they're faring.
Then again, if this was written by a certain dragon in California with a history of writing false documents, that might have been intentional.
Not that I'm naming any names.
*cough* Horizon *cough*
Sorry, got something caught in my throat there.
Beautiful, beautiful puns.
I do enjoy how you managed to make horse names out of human names, though.
Anyway, I liked this on the whole, but I'm kind of a sucker for false documents. Writing a fake magazine article about the plight of unicorns in human society was a cute idea, and the idea that they're a largely-ignored minority who struggle with the fact that only virgins can see them is deeply amusing to me. The exploration of the various meta-issues surrounding having a bunch of sentient unicorns as a normal part of society is a lot of fun, and this was a silly little piece of historical fiction that made me smile.
The off-hand joke about the Buffalo made me chuckle, but it also made me wonder if there are Dragon-Americans as well, and how they're faring.
Then again, if this was written by a certain dragon in California with a history of writing false documents, that might have been intentional.
Not that I'm naming any names.
*cough* Horizon *cough*
Sorry, got something caught in my throat there.
An odd choice of topic for the subject, general fic round and all, but whatever. It does a good job of not assuming too much foreknowledge, though, for someone who wasn’t a fan. As someone who was, it comes off as an odd blend that got more interesting as it went on.
At first the invisible unicorn aspect got a chuckle out of me. Then it got played completely straight, for some interesting nuances, such as their entirely rational focus on promiscuity. One thing I was half-expecting, though, was some mention of the inherent difficulties an invisible creature would have with the rise of automobiles.
The tech industry digs were seen coming miles away, but they still worked.
A few prose hiccups, though. One that stood out to me while I was reading: “As much of the population had few ties to their new homeland, many unicorns joined in the colonization of the New World. In the English colonies of North America, many Irish unicorns were brought over as indentured servants, signed up to work for many years…”
Nitpicks aside, this ended up as an enjoyable oddball.
At first the invisible unicorn aspect got a chuckle out of me. Then it got played completely straight, for some interesting nuances, such as their entirely rational focus on promiscuity. One thing I was half-expecting, though, was some mention of the inherent difficulties an invisible creature would have with the rise of automobiles.
The tech industry digs were seen coming miles away, but they still worked.
A few prose hiccups, though. One that stood out to me while I was reading: “As much of the population had few ties to their new homeland, many unicorns joined in the colonization of the New World. In the English colonies of North America, many Irish unicorns were brought over as indentured servants, signed up to work for many years…”
Nitpicks aside, this ended up as an enjoyable oddball.
8 – The Plight of the Unicorn-American
It's weird to feel like I'm reading another entry in GaPJaxie's Actingverse stories. I'm guessing it's not intended to be that, though. I definitely like that first paragraph, though—it establishes a strong tone from the first sentence. I feel like I'm reading a report in a newspaper or magazine straight off the bat, and I think it's fair to guess that's exactly what the author is shooting for.
There are a few editing issues here that should be easy to clean up with a careful read-through. Also, a whole passel of sentences starting with "While" about halfway through the text.
Honestly, that's about all I have to say. This is nearly pitch-perfect. Good job, horizon. Your story's better than mine again.
HORSE: Why do I even bother?
TIER: Top Contender
It's weird to feel like I'm reading another entry in GaPJaxie's Actingverse stories. I'm guessing it's not intended to be that, though. I definitely like that first paragraph, though—it establishes a strong tone from the first sentence. I feel like I'm reading a report in a newspaper or magazine straight off the bat, and I think it's fair to guess that's exactly what the author is shooting for.
There are a few editing issues here that should be easy to clean up with a careful read-through. Also, a whole passel of sentences starting with "While" about halfway through the text.
Honestly, that's about all I have to say. This is nearly pitch-perfect. Good job, horizon. Your story's better than mine again.
HORSE: Why do I even bother?
TIER: Top Contender
Fun:
But it raises too many questions that it's not interested in answering. I mean, unicorns can't be seen by people who've had sex, but they can hear them? Otherwise, how could they work as voice-over artists? How did the unicorns get on board the ships that brought them to America? Were people constantly tripping over them? If they're invisible to most adults, I would think that they would've gained a reputation as thieves--the real thief could always blame the unicorns for stealing stuff, after all.
Like I said, it's fun, but it doesn't think through the world nearly far enough for someone as anal-retentive as me.
Mike
But it raises too many questions that it's not interested in answering. I mean, unicorns can't be seen by people who've had sex, but they can hear them? Otherwise, how could they work as voice-over artists? How did the unicorns get on board the ships that brought them to America? Were people constantly tripping over them? If they're invisible to most adults, I would think that they would've gained a reputation as thieves--the real thief could always blame the unicorns for stealing stuff, after all.
Like I said, it's fun, but it doesn't think through the world nearly far enough for someone as anal-retentive as me.
Mike
What did I just read? And will it be on the test, teacher? Awww, man! This bunks. Another history lesson and I’m gonna fail it! This one just wasn’t a story. It was merely an article meant for entertainment purposes. Truthfully though, I feel like I can’t give this one a proper review “Remi-style”. Stories hold a more illogical sense, rather than making it logical. They’re set in an imaginary world and meant for pretend and insight. Articles seem to hold fact from fiction. Giving a reader the information they desire to read about. Used mostly for educational purposes or gossiping. This story tried mixing it together and ended up bland and not really inspiring from the get go. Which is a odd thing to do, since both are really different means of writing. Nonetheless the author, or correspondent, wrote and so shall it be reviewed. My main question is, if this person is looking for improvements or not.
NEGATIVES
-Article
Never thought I’d see this as a trait of a story. Okay! So...yeah. What am I suppose to say here? Um, yeah! Magazines and newspapers are alright, but I prefer settling down and actually reading something. Every once in awhile I’ll read from the newspaper, mostly for the cartoons. If a magazine is interesting enough, I’ll do the same. Skim through some pages until I get to a piece I found interesting and read it. The format and content through majority of the story feel like something straight out of a textbook. It was well written with a lot of thought placed into it. The intro and ending with Cherish Fields felt nice, but was under a heap of information that just made me confused. I don’t follow politics and I ain’t no history buff. Past is past to me. One thing is for sure though, your strengths show in the creativity of these made up events and the hidden jokes. I’m gonna call it hidden because I have no idea what majority of what they were or what they meant.
-Sustenance
So, quick question! What are you providing in your work to keep your readers in your story *COUGH* AR-ticle?No plotline? No jokes to follow? I missed them? Where were they?! I got the sex one, but the article was so seirous! How was I suppose to laugh at-?….Sigh….Alright, alright! I get it, I missed out. Being one that has spent majority of his life studying, which I’m sure all of us are. I can’t seem to appreciate the textbook like mentality taken on with this story. It almost challenges my intelligence. Which is just really off putting, since the fact remains I really don’t know any of this stuff. There are a lot of reasons to place this story down, while at the same time much different reasons to pick it up and read it. Though just like most articles I will not pick this one up again to read. I’m sorry, but it’s just not my style. One way to keep this read interesting was to focus more on the character you’ve developed. We get her background and what she acts like thanks to the interviewer. Though we’re given barely anything as she shows up only in the intro and ending. Feed your audience something to get their minds focused on what you placed effort into.
-Variety
Okay raise your pitchforks and torches at me now. I’m about to state what ever brony was thinking during this whole “unicorns only” story. I myself think of myself more of an Earth pony, but why didn’t I get included in this one? I would have loved to see more Pegasi or Earth ponies, but didn’t get that. If MLP really is starring in this universe why aren’t they there? Shouldn’t we see more about magical ponies helping in life here. With Earth ponies working as farmers or construction workers and Pegasi being used as mail carriers and such? This piece sticks with just Unicorns, leaving little to imagine for the universe we all know and love. I would have liked knowing there’s more in this world besides unicorns and humans. It is an article that is focused on unicorn relationships and history. I’ll give you that, but I feel as if this would have gotten a lot more love having what it doesn’t have. Though this is what articles usually lack as they normally never stray off their topic.
POSITIVES
-Creativity
You can sense how much of it is brimming in this story ,*HACK!* ART-icle. Wow my throat is bad! From the jokes to the character and even the realism in how the piece reads. It makes you feel like you’re really reading a newpaper or a magazine. While the story ,*HUFFFF!* AR-ticle, seems to struggle deciding if it’s an entry for a textbook or a newspaper. It’s interview and longer style of content hints at being more of a magazine entry. It made me think about writing styles and how much effort is placed into such works. The fact that you’ve maintained that professional tone and value shows skill within itself. This is me assuming it’s harder to write a fact riddled piece rather than a made up story piece. From what I got the reader researched, scripted, and placed everything into one place. Well enough in fact, to make a mind boggling read. Which makes this one highly admirable.
-Idea
Now this was the most impressive part of the story *HAA-AAAACCCCHHH ARG!*. Mercy me! My throat! Your idea to turn this piece into something no one expected, made an eye opener for the most part. While it seems out of place, it deserves it’s own praise for just being what it is. A wonderful piece that has detailed history and information. On the world you’ve sought to create and share with us. By choosing to go out of the norm, you’ve opened your mind to think about several different ways of writing and thus have expanded on your ideas. Maybe I’m feeding an ego, but I like different. And this type of different is well written. This is by far the biggest lesson we can provide to your readers. That story telling and such is not linear. It has endless possibilities and I love how you share that with us.
Okay! This was a weird one. No seriously though, when’s the test man!? Okay so we’re not being tested. I’m sorry if this felt like nothing but me offending the author. I just wanna say it wasn’t a story. A good read. A beautiful work. Well thought out and planned.Though this project just didn’t impress me. You did good, but didn’t hit the goal here. Well mostly just for me though. So don’t let yourself down! You were great at making this one.
NEGATIVES
-Article
Never thought I’d see this as a trait of a story. Okay! So...yeah. What am I suppose to say here? Um, yeah! Magazines and newspapers are alright, but I prefer settling down and actually reading something. Every once in awhile I’ll read from the newspaper, mostly for the cartoons. If a magazine is interesting enough, I’ll do the same. Skim through some pages until I get to a piece I found interesting and read it. The format and content through majority of the story feel like something straight out of a textbook. It was well written with a lot of thought placed into it. The intro and ending with Cherish Fields felt nice, but was under a heap of information that just made me confused. I don’t follow politics and I ain’t no history buff. Past is past to me. One thing is for sure though, your strengths show in the creativity of these made up events and the hidden jokes. I’m gonna call it hidden because I have no idea what majority of what they were or what they meant.
-Sustenance
So, quick question! What are you providing in your work to keep your readers in your story *COUGH* AR-ticle?No plotline? No jokes to follow? I missed them? Where were they?! I got the sex one, but the article was so seirous! How was I suppose to laugh at-?….Sigh….Alright, alright! I get it, I missed out. Being one that has spent majority of his life studying, which I’m sure all of us are. I can’t seem to appreciate the textbook like mentality taken on with this story. It almost challenges my intelligence. Which is just really off putting, since the fact remains I really don’t know any of this stuff. There are a lot of reasons to place this story down, while at the same time much different reasons to pick it up and read it. Though just like most articles I will not pick this one up again to read. I’m sorry, but it’s just not my style. One way to keep this read interesting was to focus more on the character you’ve developed. We get her background and what she acts like thanks to the interviewer. Though we’re given barely anything as she shows up only in the intro and ending. Feed your audience something to get their minds focused on what you placed effort into.
-Variety
Okay raise your pitchforks and torches at me now. I’m about to state what ever brony was thinking during this whole “unicorns only” story. I myself think of myself more of an Earth pony, but why didn’t I get included in this one? I would have loved to see more Pegasi or Earth ponies, but didn’t get that. If MLP really is starring in this universe why aren’t they there? Shouldn’t we see more about magical ponies helping in life here. With Earth ponies working as farmers or construction workers and Pegasi being used as mail carriers and such? This piece sticks with just Unicorns, leaving little to imagine for the universe we all know and love. I would have liked knowing there’s more in this world besides unicorns and humans. It is an article that is focused on unicorn relationships and history. I’ll give you that, but I feel as if this would have gotten a lot more love having what it doesn’t have. Though this is what articles usually lack as they normally never stray off their topic.
POSITIVES
-Creativity
You can sense how much of it is brimming in this story ,*HACK!* ART-icle. Wow my throat is bad! From the jokes to the character and even the realism in how the piece reads. It makes you feel like you’re really reading a newpaper or a magazine. While the story ,*HUFFFF!* AR-ticle, seems to struggle deciding if it’s an entry for a textbook or a newspaper. It’s interview and longer style of content hints at being more of a magazine entry. It made me think about writing styles and how much effort is placed into such works. The fact that you’ve maintained that professional tone and value shows skill within itself. This is me assuming it’s harder to write a fact riddled piece rather than a made up story piece. From what I got the reader researched, scripted, and placed everything into one place. Well enough in fact, to make a mind boggling read. Which makes this one highly admirable.
-Idea
Now this was the most impressive part of the story *HAA-AAAACCCCHHH ARG!*. Mercy me! My throat! Your idea to turn this piece into something no one expected, made an eye opener for the most part. While it seems out of place, it deserves it’s own praise for just being what it is. A wonderful piece that has detailed history and information. On the world you’ve sought to create and share with us. By choosing to go out of the norm, you’ve opened your mind to think about several different ways of writing and thus have expanded on your ideas. Maybe I’m feeding an ego, but I like different. And this type of different is well written. This is by far the biggest lesson we can provide to your readers. That story telling and such is not linear. It has endless possibilities and I love how you share that with us.
Okay! This was a weird one. No seriously though, when’s the test man!? Okay so we’re not being tested. I’m sorry if this felt like nothing but me offending the author. I just wanna say it wasn’t a story. A good read. A beautiful work. Well thought out and planned.Though this project just didn’t impress me. You did good, but didn’t hit the goal here. Well mostly just for me though. So don’t let yourself down! You were great at making this one.
Gotta admit I'm slightly disappointed this didn't make the finals, as I really liked it. Oh, well. Sounds like some folks didn't like it for being a... well, sort of pony story in an original fiction round.
The original conception of this story came when people were complaining about there not being enough black people nominated for the Oscars. Clearly that's racism!
So my mind of course immediately went to the plight of the Unicorn-American in Hollywood, and how they seem practically invisible - because they are to non-virgins.
It sort of transmogrified itself into its present form, where it is talking about the history of Unicorn-Americans in general, using the method of a fake magazine article format that I all too often see - a story that starts out with a successful member of some ethnic/religious group, and then goes into how that ethnic/religious group is oppressed.
But of course, with the absurd subject matter of unicorns, and how the fact that unicorns are only visible to virgins would impact their interactions with humans.
The original conception of this story had fewer links to MLP, but I ended up throwing a few more in because I thought that people here would be able to appreciate them.
The story was peppered with little jokes while simultaneously playing the subject matter straight - all of the names were puns (matching with the MLP theme-naming of ponies), the unicorn gamer had the ambiguously sexist/derogatory "N0H0rn" screenname... I feel like I missed an opportunity to have an interview with an actual poor unicorn in there, though on the other hand, it sort of implied a certain sort of discrimination by the article writer which was actually somewhat intentional (we feel sorry for the poor, but we don't actually see them as people).
I had a lot of fun writing this and working out the implications of how unicorns would struggle with modern real-world society, and am probably going to try and edit it a bit and then stick it up somewhere (possibly on FIMFiction, as apparently people's complaints about this being too pony probably means it will pass muster there).
The original conception of this story came when people were complaining about there not being enough black people nominated for the Oscars. Clearly that's racism!
So my mind of course immediately went to the plight of the Unicorn-American in Hollywood, and how they seem practically invisible - because they are to non-virgins.
It sort of transmogrified itself into its present form, where it is talking about the history of Unicorn-Americans in general, using the method of a fake magazine article format that I all too often see - a story that starts out with a successful member of some ethnic/religious group, and then goes into how that ethnic/religious group is oppressed.
But of course, with the absurd subject matter of unicorns, and how the fact that unicorns are only visible to virgins would impact their interactions with humans.
The original conception of this story had fewer links to MLP, but I ended up throwing a few more in because I thought that people here would be able to appreciate them.
The story was peppered with little jokes while simultaneously playing the subject matter straight - all of the names were puns (matching with the MLP theme-naming of ponies), the unicorn gamer had the ambiguously sexist/derogatory "N0H0rn" screenname... I feel like I missed an opportunity to have an interview with an actual poor unicorn in there, though on the other hand, it sort of implied a certain sort of discrimination by the article writer which was actually somewhat intentional (we feel sorry for the poor, but we don't actually see them as people).
I had a lot of fun writing this and working out the implications of how unicorns would struggle with modern real-world society, and am probably going to try and edit it a bit and then stick it up somewhere (possibly on FIMFiction, as apparently people's complaints about this being too pony probably means it will pass muster there).
Well, I guess it's time for a retrospective on my story.
Given the lack of prompt, I figured that I would try a little something different this round. Honestly, I was worried about being disqualified for breaking anonymity -- my love of blurring the lines between fiction and non-fiction is pretty well known around here, and to top it off, anyone willing to do a little research would have gotten even more clues as to my authorship. But I guess that's just the risk you take with a story about nonhumans in modern society complaining about the challenges of rural Internet.
The Plight of the Unicorn-American
The bottom line is that I had fun with this, but in hindsight, I wish I'd structured it a bit differently; it seems like it came across as a bit dry, starting as it did with the tight framing focus on a single Unicorn-American Hollywood star and then launching into centuries of encyclopedic history. The specific link to My Little Pony does beg the question of where the pegasi and earth ponies are, yes, and I should give some thought to how to lampshade that without losing sight of the core mythology joke around which this is structured. (I remain an unrepentant fan of that joke, though.)
I do wish that more people had commented on the details, because there's a lot of fun little items that require some picking up of subtleties or outside context, and I'm still not sure how well that worked for people besides me. The reference to problems with BART, for example, makes much more sense if you know that's the name of the (San Francisco) Bay Area Rapid Transit system. (That was another element I figured would finger me, since with BlazzingInferno missing, AFAIK I'm the only NorCal native entering this round.) There are some subtle digs that I, at least, found amusing, like the way that most GameStop clerks can see unicorns or the 1990s falling-out with the Catholic church over Catholic kids suddenly having problems with that. #shotsfired
I guess I'm not surprised with that aforementioned dry encyclopedic tone that this didn't make finals, but if I'd had a chance to rate this on my own slate, it would have been top-half with a Solid rating. The research here was great, but I might have to work a little bit on polishing the presentation. Thank you all for your feedback; that'll help a great deal!
... Yes, yes, I know that technically, this has >>TitaniumDragon's name as the author, but the reviewers blaming me for this in the thread can't all be wrong. :V
Given the lack of prompt, I figured that I would try a little something different this round. Honestly, I was worried about being disqualified for breaking anonymity -- my love of blurring the lines between fiction and non-fiction is pretty well known around here, and to top it off, anyone willing to do a little research would have gotten even more clues as to my authorship. But I guess that's just the risk you take with a story about nonhumans in modern society complaining about the challenges of rural Internet.
The Plight of the Unicorn-American
The bottom line is that I had fun with this, but in hindsight, I wish I'd structured it a bit differently; it seems like it came across as a bit dry, starting as it did with the tight framing focus on a single Unicorn-American Hollywood star and then launching into centuries of encyclopedic history. The specific link to My Little Pony does beg the question of where the pegasi and earth ponies are, yes, and I should give some thought to how to lampshade that without losing sight of the core mythology joke around which this is structured. (I remain an unrepentant fan of that joke, though.)
I do wish that more people had commented on the details, because there's a lot of fun little items that require some picking up of subtleties or outside context, and I'm still not sure how well that worked for people besides me. The reference to problems with BART, for example, makes much more sense if you know that's the name of the (San Francisco) Bay Area Rapid Transit system. (That was another element I figured would finger me, since with BlazzingInferno missing, AFAIK I'm the only NorCal native entering this round.) There are some subtle digs that I, at least, found amusing, like the way that most GameStop clerks can see unicorns or the 1990s falling-out with the Catholic church over Catholic kids suddenly having problems with that. #shotsfired
I guess I'm not surprised with that aforementioned dry encyclopedic tone that this didn't make finals, but if I'd had a chance to rate this on my own slate, it would have been top-half with a Solid rating. The research here was great, but I might have to work a little bit on polishing the presentation. Thank you all for your feedback; that'll help a great deal!
... Yes, yes, I know that technically, this has >>TitaniumDragon's name as the author, but the reviewers blaming me for this in the thread can't all be wrong. :V