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The Fool and the Sun
“I do wonder how bad the situation must have gotten for you to pay me a visit.”
A unicorn with black dreadlocks spoke. She gestured to the chair across her and a cloaked figure hurriedly took the seat.
“I did not know you believed in the spiritual.” The mare tapped the deck of cards on the table, giving it a small shuffle with her hoof. “And come see a witch for answers.”
The figure didn’t respond.
“No matter, the cards tell me all.” With that, she begun distributing five cards on the tabletop. Their jeweled backs glistened under the soft glow of the candles in the room. The mare gave the first one a flip, revealing the image of a Sun watching over a field of sunflowers.
“The Sun. A symbol of joy, fun and positivity,” the witch dotted her words with slow emphasis. “Tell me, when was the last time you felt happiness with her?”
Sunset Shimmer gave a cheerful scream as a snowball landed right on her flank. She leapt forward, packing a small snowball with her magic before launching it right back at her attacker.
“Take this!” Sunset shouted with a grin on her face.
The snowball flew at an immense speed and, just like Sunset had intended, it found its target head-on.
“Sunset Shimmer, you’re going to pay for that!” Celestia yelled back through bits of laughter. Her horn glowed a bright yellow and soon, several snowballs had begun to rise from the ground, hovering beside her.
Sunset’s eyes grew wide and her hindhooves froze to the ground in fear. She wasn’t sure how twenty snowballs against her was going to feel, though she did have a vague idea.
Not pleasant.
“Umm… p-peace?” Sunset attempted to call out.
“Umm… no.” Celestia shot the barrage of snowballs at Sunset, who raised her hoof in a feeble attempt at self defence.
The snowballs slammed into Sunset almost simultaneously, covering her from mane to hoof in a packet of snow. Now she had the answer to the question she had asked herself earlier.
Cold! Twenty snowballs feels very very cold! Sunset mustered what focus she could, illuminating the snow around her off in a bright, red glow. Standing back up on her feet, she gave a violent shake, sending the remaining snow flying off in several different directions.
A soft giggle echoed through the castle courtyard and Sunset already knew the source. She turned her attention to the alicorn walking towards her.
“Sorry my student, too much?”
“N-no, no just fine,” Sunset spoke through clattering teeth.
“I think we’ve played enough, don’t you? Your teachers must be getting quite cross.”
“Wait, this was your idea, Princess; not mine.”
“Well, I suppose. Though I do think a break every now and again is needed, even if your tutors don’t think so.”
Sunset made her way past the courtyard doors and into the hallways of the castle.
“Princess, my studies are getting boring. They keep repeating the same things over and over, asking me to cast the same spells again and again. I want something harder! Something more interesting!”
“Those will happen—”
“In time, Sunset Shimmer.” Sunset repeated the words with Celestia. She gave a frustrated huff and a hard drop of her shoulders. “I know, I know. But you keep saying that every single time I ask and I never see a change!”
Celestia didn’t answer at first, stopping right outside the door to Sunset’s chambers.
“Sunset, your tutors are waiting,” were the only words that left Celestia’s mouth before she resumed her trot down the hallway.
Sunset threw her head back with a groan before pushing the doors open.
The air around the two mares hung silent.
“I see…” the witch mumbled softly. She placed a hoof on the second card, all while maintaining eye contact with the hooded figure. “Well, then I suppose it’d be well to ask what happened after that?”
Once more, the mare across the witch remained silent.
The witch flipped the card over, revealing a stallion dressed in royal garb, wearing a golden crown and holding a scepter. He was seated in a marble throne, a look of indifference on his face. However, while the card seemed upright to the witch, it was inverted to her client.
“The Emperor represents authority, a solid-structure. Foundation.” The witch gave a wheezing cough before continuing once more, “At least, that’s what he’s meant to represent when he’s upright. Upside down, he represents domination, control and rigidity. Though I suppose you have experience with that…’
Sunset flipped another page of the book, squinting her eyes as she tried to make out the words on the page.
To… cast this spell. One must…
A loud screech echoed through the library. Sunset shot her head up, feeling her heart race. She levitated the book into her saddlebag, darting to her left. She had to find some place to hide. But where? The staircase? No. The library closet? Much too small for her. What about—
“Sunset Shimmer,” a stern, angered voice came from behind her.
Sunset turned, spotting Celestia staring daggers right at her. With a glow of her horn, every candle in the library was set aflame, lighting the room in a blinding glow.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“What you don’t want me to,” Sunset explained with a quivering voice. She wasn’t sure if it was fear, sadness or anger that caused her to shake. Though at this point, she didn’t care.
“Sunset I told you to stay away from the advanced magics.” Celestia took a step forward, but Sunset took an equal one back.
“Why? I can handle it. All this ‘advanced magic’ stuff is easy.”
“Easy or not, you’re too young for this.”
“No, no I’m not.” Sunset gritted her teeth, lowering her head. “Why won’t you just let me grow!?”
“Sunset, it’s not like that! The magic you’re studying is too dangerous for you.”
“Stop saying that!” Sunset screamed, tears filling her eyes. A raging spark had ignited within her, growing and searing like she had never felt before. “Every single time you use that excuse! What’s the real reason?”
Celestia didn’t answer. Her eyes moved swiftly away from Sunset’s gaze, darting instead to a nearby wall.
“Are you afraid I’ll end up like Starswirl?”
The words hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity. Celestia had returned her gaze onto Sunset and she could see a cocktail of emotions in the Princess’ eyes. She could see a mixture of anger, sadness and fear within the stare. And though Sunset didn’t show it, that mere gesture sent shivers down her spine.
“Sunset. You are treading on some very thin ice here,” Celestia warned.
Sunset drew a breath, running through the words in her mind before she spoke them. “I know about Starswirl. About how he practiced magic he shouldn’t have. He created spells that you and Luna banned from being casted.”
“Sunset, return the book to me, now!”
“I’m not like him! I won’t make the same mistakes!”
“Sunset—”
“I’m not a filly anymore!”
Celestia’s horn glowed a bright yellow as she levitated the book out of Sunset’s bag.
Focusing all her magic into her horn, Sunset attempted to wrestle with her mentor. The aura surrounding the book alternated between red and yellow, glowing brighter and brighter with each switch.
Suddenly, without warning, there was a bright flash of light and a deafening ‘boom’. Before she knew what had happened, Sunset felt herself being flung through the air. Not a second later, her body slammed into a bookshelf, sending a sharp pain throughout her body. She yelled in pain before falling to the ground.
“Sunset!”
Sunset summoned what strength she could, pushing herself up on shaky hooves. She spluttered and coughed, attempting to block out the painful aching happening through her body. A book sat right beside her, its pages opened to a blank portion.
“I’m… not the one that should be afraid of losing control of my magic.” Sunset gave a wrathful gaze to Celestia, who was galloping over to her. With a flash of red and a glow of her horn, Sunset vanished. She didn’t have a destination in mind, only a wish. A wish she repeated constantly in her mind as she teleported.
Get me to a place where I can leave.
The witch stared at the figure then glanced down at the Emperor card.
“The cards tell me about the mistakes others have made. Be it past, present or future,” she muttered. “Up to this point, I wasn’t sure what you wanted from me. Now I know. And I cannot help.”
The cloaked pony slammed a hoof on the table. The force of the sudden action caused the contents to jump and three nearby candles to extinguish.
“Careful,” the witch spoke, undaunted. “Do not do something you’ll regret.” She stood from her seat, making her way to each candle and lighting the wick with a glow of her horn.
Once all was right once more, the witch retook her seat, gesturing for the figure to do the same. She adjusted the cards on the table back into their prim and proper positions before flipping the third one over.
This time, the art on the card depicted that of a tower being struck by a bolt of lightning. Two ponies were falling from the windows, while fire could be seen not only in the structure but in the sky as well.
“Disaster. A sudden change. The Tower represents a significant time in our life that has affected us in an enormous way…”
Sunset buried her hooves into her tearful eyes. Soft sobs echoed through the dark room. She wasn’t sure where her magic had taken her, though she didn’t mind. As long as she was away from the pony she once called her ‘mentor’.
How could she? Sunset wiped her tears, but more kept flowing. She was supposed to help me grow. Instead, she’d do anything in her power to stop it.
She lifted the book from the ground near her, closing it only to see her cutie mark emblazoned on the front. W-wait, this isn’t Starswirl’s book. Frantically, she began searching her saddlebags but they sat empty.
Without warning, there was a flash of yellow light in the room. Sunset scrambled to her hooves, levitating the tome and stuffing it into her saddlebag.
“Sunset Shimmer, there you are! Please, follow me back to your chambers,” Princess Celestia pleaded.
Sunset kept a distance between the two of them. She matched every step Celestia took, but in the opposite direction.
“Don’t come near me,” Sunset said with as much confidence as she could.
“You’re not safe in this room, please, follow me and we can talk this out.”
“Talk? I think we’re way past that,” Sunset spat her words like poison. She glanced around the room, noting that it was mostly empty save for the odd shape in the distance.
“No we’re not. Yo— we can still fix this.”
Me? That single thought reignited the spark in Sunset.
“You refused to give me a proper reason why I shouldn’t grow. You tried to stop me from being better! You attacked me!” Sunset screamed, increasing her volume with each sentence. “There is no ‘me’. No ‘we’, Celestia. This is all on you.”
Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Sunset could finally see what that odd shape was. It was an ornate mirror with metal swirls adorning its side. An odd symbol stood at the top. One resembling a rearing horse.
“Yes, yes it’s all on me. Just please, come back.” Celestia’s voice had begun to quiver as well. “Please…”
Suddenly, Sunset spotted a swirl of purple in the mirror. Something about it seemed so alluring. She recalled Celestia speaking about a portal stashed somewhere in the castle, a portal that should never be touched. Was this it? And even if it was…
Where would it lead?
Sunset drew a deep breath and shook her head.
“No.”
Not allowing a moment of doubt to cloud her mind, Sunset galloped towards the mirror, disappearing in a fizz of magic.
“Enough!” The figure bellowed out, stomping her hoof once more on the ground. This time, the force of the blow sent the hood of the cloak flying off, revealing a flowing multicolored mane. “I didn’t come here to be lectured! I need a solution!”
“Princess, I do not know what you expect me to do.”
“Fix this! Get Sunset back for me! Give me a solution!” Celestia demanded, her eyes furrowing in anger.
“...Open the fourth card.”
“I have no time for your cards!” Celestia screamed, flicking the fourth card up into the air. It landed face-up on the table, showing a picture of a hooded mare holding a lantern and a stick, standing atop waves. “Every second that we waste, my student is in danger! She… she can’t handle that world on her own! These cards have done nothing for me!”
“Princess, these cards were not meant for you,” The witch said through soft coughs. “Why would I tell you what you already know? These cards were to show you her perspective. Her feelings.”
Princess Celestia took another glance at the fourth card. She placed a hoof on it, adjusting it so that she could see all the details clearly. “...Then what’s this?”
The witch leaned forward, placing her hooves together. “The Hermit. Throughout her life, your student has never had the chance to be alone. You’ve suffocated her, surrounded her with choices she couldn’t make. Controlled her every step of her way.”
“...I was making sure she’d turn out right.”
“By whose standards?”
Celestia didn’t reply. For she didn’t know the answer.
“Even up till the end…”
“Sunset no!” Celestia screamed in horror as Sunset leapt into the mirror. She rushed after her, though just before she reached, a small wisp of purple magic flew from the surface.
Celestia’s heart sank when she touched the mirror, feeling only solid glass. Every breath she took felt as if she hadn’t even drawn air in. It threatened to suffocate her. Destroy her.
She smashed her hoof as hard as she could against the mirror, tears filling her eyes. Her heart felt as if it had been split and shattered and her chest burned with a fiery pain.
“Sunset! Please don’t do this! You need to be safe! Please! Please come back! Please… please… please…” Celestia begged repeatedly, dropping to her hooves in despair. She attempted to tap the glass once more, but the soft hollow echo only deepened the pain she felt.
“Please.”
“You’re telling me to leave her alone?” Celestia asked through gritted teeth.
“I’m telling you she needs time.”
“You’re crazy. She needs me! She won’t survive!” Celestia swung around, her cloak flying through the air. She made her way to the door, whispering as she did so, “this was a waste of time.”
“Tell me, when you have a wound, do you pick at it to help it heal?”
Celestia paused in her tracks, swinging around to face the Witch with a look of disdain.
“I can help her.”
“You are a blade attempting to heal a cut,” the witch replied in an instant, her back facing Celestia.
“Then what do you propose the medicine for this is?”
“Like all wounds, time.”
Celestia stomped forward, tears in her eyes. “Don’t talk to me about time! I’ve tried time! Time only makes it hurt more, it only makes things worse!”
“You came here for answers, and that is what I am giving you.”
“I came for a solution.”
“And yet when I give you one, you reject it.” The Witch picked up the final card on the table, passing it to Celestia. “Princess, everypony makes mistakes, that is unavoidable.”
Celestia stared at the jeweled back of the card, watching as it glittered under the candlelight. The sight of it reminded her of the stars that hung in the night sky, though the thought sent a crushing blow to her already weak composure.
“I’m the ruler of this kingdom,” Celestia muttered. Her tone had softened and her angered flame had vanished completely. “I’ve lived for countless eons. And yet, I’m still making mistakes that cost me the ones I love.”
“In the end, Princess, you are still a pony. That much will never change.”
Celestia lifted her head up, spotting the witch smiling softly back at her. She flipped the card in her grasp and, on the front of card, stood a jester trotting happily along. His expression was one of unbridled joy without worry.
“The Fool?”
“A new beginning. There will be many difficult options ahead and sometimes, no amount of thinking will help you reach a conclusion. I hope you will trust your instincts in those moments and learn from the mistakes you’ve made before.”
Celestia nodded. Inside her heart, she felt the storm of emotions calm slightly from the mare’s words. She attempted to return the card, but the witch lifted her hoof and pushed it back.
“Keep it. I hope it will bring you peace in your toughest times.”
Celestia smiled softly.
“Thank you.”
“Here I come!”
Celestia launched several snowballs forward. They soared through the air and were headed straight for their target. However…
“Aha!” Twilight Sparkle screamed, enveloping the projectiles in a glow of her own. She launched them back, pelting the alicorn with snow.
Celestia fell with a giggle, waving her hoof in the air. “I surrender! You win!”
“Woo hoo!” Twilight leapt up in the air. “Try again next time, Princess.”
“Don’t get too overconfident, my faithful student.”
“I won’t… if you can beat me.” Twilight winked with a giggle.
“Well, we should get back to class.” Celestia pulled herself up, dusted herself off and made her way to the door.
Twilight followed closely behind.
“Hey, Princess Celestia?”
“Hm?”
“Think I could get more challenging materials? It’s getting a little boring.”
Celestia froze in her tracks.
Her heart raced. And her mind went fuzzy with memories. She attempted to maintain her composure, but the longer the silence lasted, the more it threatened to break and shatter. What was going to be her reply?
What would she say?
“Umm…” Celestia stammered. “I…”
Trust your instincts.
Twilight sighed. “I understand. Don’t worry about it, Princess.”
Images of the jester happily trotting forward entered her mind and soon, it was the only image she could think of.
A new beginning.
“...I’ll ask the teachers to give you harder materials.”
“Really, Princess? You’d…
“...do that?”
Celestia’s breath caught and froze in her throat.
That voice… Celestia shook her head violently. For a moment, she thought she had heard Sunset’s tone. Opening her eyes, she saw Twilight staring back at her, a large grin drawn on her face. Her expression resembled almost an uncanny amount to...
“Yes, my faithful student,” Celestia spoke, her voice cracking as a tear trailed down her cheek.
“Anything for you.”
A unicorn with black dreadlocks spoke. She gestured to the chair across her and a cloaked figure hurriedly took the seat.
“I did not know you believed in the spiritual.” The mare tapped the deck of cards on the table, giving it a small shuffle with her hoof. “And come see a witch for answers.”
The figure didn’t respond.
“No matter, the cards tell me all.” With that, she begun distributing five cards on the tabletop. Their jeweled backs glistened under the soft glow of the candles in the room. The mare gave the first one a flip, revealing the image of a Sun watching over a field of sunflowers.
“The Sun. A symbol of joy, fun and positivity,” the witch dotted her words with slow emphasis. “Tell me, when was the last time you felt happiness with her?”
Sunset Shimmer gave a cheerful scream as a snowball landed right on her flank. She leapt forward, packing a small snowball with her magic before launching it right back at her attacker.
“Take this!” Sunset shouted with a grin on her face.
The snowball flew at an immense speed and, just like Sunset had intended, it found its target head-on.
“Sunset Shimmer, you’re going to pay for that!” Celestia yelled back through bits of laughter. Her horn glowed a bright yellow and soon, several snowballs had begun to rise from the ground, hovering beside her.
Sunset’s eyes grew wide and her hindhooves froze to the ground in fear. She wasn’t sure how twenty snowballs against her was going to feel, though she did have a vague idea.
Not pleasant.
“Umm… p-peace?” Sunset attempted to call out.
“Umm… no.” Celestia shot the barrage of snowballs at Sunset, who raised her hoof in a feeble attempt at self defence.
The snowballs slammed into Sunset almost simultaneously, covering her from mane to hoof in a packet of snow. Now she had the answer to the question she had asked herself earlier.
Cold! Twenty snowballs feels very very cold! Sunset mustered what focus she could, illuminating the snow around her off in a bright, red glow. Standing back up on her feet, she gave a violent shake, sending the remaining snow flying off in several different directions.
A soft giggle echoed through the castle courtyard and Sunset already knew the source. She turned her attention to the alicorn walking towards her.
“Sorry my student, too much?”
“N-no, no just fine,” Sunset spoke through clattering teeth.
“I think we’ve played enough, don’t you? Your teachers must be getting quite cross.”
“Wait, this was your idea, Princess; not mine.”
“Well, I suppose. Though I do think a break every now and again is needed, even if your tutors don’t think so.”
Sunset made her way past the courtyard doors and into the hallways of the castle.
“Princess, my studies are getting boring. They keep repeating the same things over and over, asking me to cast the same spells again and again. I want something harder! Something more interesting!”
“Those will happen—”
“In time, Sunset Shimmer.” Sunset repeated the words with Celestia. She gave a frustrated huff and a hard drop of her shoulders. “I know, I know. But you keep saying that every single time I ask and I never see a change!”
Celestia didn’t answer at first, stopping right outside the door to Sunset’s chambers.
“Sunset, your tutors are waiting,” were the only words that left Celestia’s mouth before she resumed her trot down the hallway.
Sunset threw her head back with a groan before pushing the doors open.
The air around the two mares hung silent.
“I see…” the witch mumbled softly. She placed a hoof on the second card, all while maintaining eye contact with the hooded figure. “Well, then I suppose it’d be well to ask what happened after that?”
Once more, the mare across the witch remained silent.
The witch flipped the card over, revealing a stallion dressed in royal garb, wearing a golden crown and holding a scepter. He was seated in a marble throne, a look of indifference on his face. However, while the card seemed upright to the witch, it was inverted to her client.
“The Emperor represents authority, a solid-structure. Foundation.” The witch gave a wheezing cough before continuing once more, “At least, that’s what he’s meant to represent when he’s upright. Upside down, he represents domination, control and rigidity. Though I suppose you have experience with that…’
Sunset flipped another page of the book, squinting her eyes as she tried to make out the words on the page.
To… cast this spell. One must…
A loud screech echoed through the library. Sunset shot her head up, feeling her heart race. She levitated the book into her saddlebag, darting to her left. She had to find some place to hide. But where? The staircase? No. The library closet? Much too small for her. What about—
“Sunset Shimmer,” a stern, angered voice came from behind her.
Sunset turned, spotting Celestia staring daggers right at her. With a glow of her horn, every candle in the library was set aflame, lighting the room in a blinding glow.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“What you don’t want me to,” Sunset explained with a quivering voice. She wasn’t sure if it was fear, sadness or anger that caused her to shake. Though at this point, she didn’t care.
“Sunset I told you to stay away from the advanced magics.” Celestia took a step forward, but Sunset took an equal one back.
“Why? I can handle it. All this ‘advanced magic’ stuff is easy.”
“Easy or not, you’re too young for this.”
“No, no I’m not.” Sunset gritted her teeth, lowering her head. “Why won’t you just let me grow!?”
“Sunset, it’s not like that! The magic you’re studying is too dangerous for you.”
“Stop saying that!” Sunset screamed, tears filling her eyes. A raging spark had ignited within her, growing and searing like she had never felt before. “Every single time you use that excuse! What’s the real reason?”
Celestia didn’t answer. Her eyes moved swiftly away from Sunset’s gaze, darting instead to a nearby wall.
“Are you afraid I’ll end up like Starswirl?”
The words hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity. Celestia had returned her gaze onto Sunset and she could see a cocktail of emotions in the Princess’ eyes. She could see a mixture of anger, sadness and fear within the stare. And though Sunset didn’t show it, that mere gesture sent shivers down her spine.
“Sunset. You are treading on some very thin ice here,” Celestia warned.
Sunset drew a breath, running through the words in her mind before she spoke them. “I know about Starswirl. About how he practiced magic he shouldn’t have. He created spells that you and Luna banned from being casted.”
“Sunset, return the book to me, now!”
“I’m not like him! I won’t make the same mistakes!”
“Sunset—”
“I’m not a filly anymore!”
Celestia’s horn glowed a bright yellow as she levitated the book out of Sunset’s bag.
Focusing all her magic into her horn, Sunset attempted to wrestle with her mentor. The aura surrounding the book alternated between red and yellow, glowing brighter and brighter with each switch.
Suddenly, without warning, there was a bright flash of light and a deafening ‘boom’. Before she knew what had happened, Sunset felt herself being flung through the air. Not a second later, her body slammed into a bookshelf, sending a sharp pain throughout her body. She yelled in pain before falling to the ground.
“Sunset!”
Sunset summoned what strength she could, pushing herself up on shaky hooves. She spluttered and coughed, attempting to block out the painful aching happening through her body. A book sat right beside her, its pages opened to a blank portion.
“I’m… not the one that should be afraid of losing control of my magic.” Sunset gave a wrathful gaze to Celestia, who was galloping over to her. With a flash of red and a glow of her horn, Sunset vanished. She didn’t have a destination in mind, only a wish. A wish she repeated constantly in her mind as she teleported.
Get me to a place where I can leave.
The witch stared at the figure then glanced down at the Emperor card.
“The cards tell me about the mistakes others have made. Be it past, present or future,” she muttered. “Up to this point, I wasn’t sure what you wanted from me. Now I know. And I cannot help.”
The cloaked pony slammed a hoof on the table. The force of the sudden action caused the contents to jump and three nearby candles to extinguish.
“Careful,” the witch spoke, undaunted. “Do not do something you’ll regret.” She stood from her seat, making her way to each candle and lighting the wick with a glow of her horn.
Once all was right once more, the witch retook her seat, gesturing for the figure to do the same. She adjusted the cards on the table back into their prim and proper positions before flipping the third one over.
This time, the art on the card depicted that of a tower being struck by a bolt of lightning. Two ponies were falling from the windows, while fire could be seen not only in the structure but in the sky as well.
“Disaster. A sudden change. The Tower represents a significant time in our life that has affected us in an enormous way…”
Sunset buried her hooves into her tearful eyes. Soft sobs echoed through the dark room. She wasn’t sure where her magic had taken her, though she didn’t mind. As long as she was away from the pony she once called her ‘mentor’.
How could she? Sunset wiped her tears, but more kept flowing. She was supposed to help me grow. Instead, she’d do anything in her power to stop it.
She lifted the book from the ground near her, closing it only to see her cutie mark emblazoned on the front. W-wait, this isn’t Starswirl’s book. Frantically, she began searching her saddlebags but they sat empty.
Without warning, there was a flash of yellow light in the room. Sunset scrambled to her hooves, levitating the tome and stuffing it into her saddlebag.
“Sunset Shimmer, there you are! Please, follow me back to your chambers,” Princess Celestia pleaded.
Sunset kept a distance between the two of them. She matched every step Celestia took, but in the opposite direction.
“Don’t come near me,” Sunset said with as much confidence as she could.
“You’re not safe in this room, please, follow me and we can talk this out.”
“Talk? I think we’re way past that,” Sunset spat her words like poison. She glanced around the room, noting that it was mostly empty save for the odd shape in the distance.
“No we’re not. Yo— we can still fix this.”
Me? That single thought reignited the spark in Sunset.
“You refused to give me a proper reason why I shouldn’t grow. You tried to stop me from being better! You attacked me!” Sunset screamed, increasing her volume with each sentence. “There is no ‘me’. No ‘we’, Celestia. This is all on you.”
Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Sunset could finally see what that odd shape was. It was an ornate mirror with metal swirls adorning its side. An odd symbol stood at the top. One resembling a rearing horse.
“Yes, yes it’s all on me. Just please, come back.” Celestia’s voice had begun to quiver as well. “Please…”
Suddenly, Sunset spotted a swirl of purple in the mirror. Something about it seemed so alluring. She recalled Celestia speaking about a portal stashed somewhere in the castle, a portal that should never be touched. Was this it? And even if it was…
Where would it lead?
Sunset drew a deep breath and shook her head.
“No.”
Not allowing a moment of doubt to cloud her mind, Sunset galloped towards the mirror, disappearing in a fizz of magic.
“Enough!” The figure bellowed out, stomping her hoof once more on the ground. This time, the force of the blow sent the hood of the cloak flying off, revealing a flowing multicolored mane. “I didn’t come here to be lectured! I need a solution!”
“Princess, I do not know what you expect me to do.”
“Fix this! Get Sunset back for me! Give me a solution!” Celestia demanded, her eyes furrowing in anger.
“...Open the fourth card.”
“I have no time for your cards!” Celestia screamed, flicking the fourth card up into the air. It landed face-up on the table, showing a picture of a hooded mare holding a lantern and a stick, standing atop waves. “Every second that we waste, my student is in danger! She… she can’t handle that world on her own! These cards have done nothing for me!”
“Princess, these cards were not meant for you,” The witch said through soft coughs. “Why would I tell you what you already know? These cards were to show you her perspective. Her feelings.”
Princess Celestia took another glance at the fourth card. She placed a hoof on it, adjusting it so that she could see all the details clearly. “...Then what’s this?”
The witch leaned forward, placing her hooves together. “The Hermit. Throughout her life, your student has never had the chance to be alone. You’ve suffocated her, surrounded her with choices she couldn’t make. Controlled her every step of her way.”
“...I was making sure she’d turn out right.”
“By whose standards?”
Celestia didn’t reply. For she didn’t know the answer.
“Even up till the end…”
“Sunset no!” Celestia screamed in horror as Sunset leapt into the mirror. She rushed after her, though just before she reached, a small wisp of purple magic flew from the surface.
Celestia’s heart sank when she touched the mirror, feeling only solid glass. Every breath she took felt as if she hadn’t even drawn air in. It threatened to suffocate her. Destroy her.
She smashed her hoof as hard as she could against the mirror, tears filling her eyes. Her heart felt as if it had been split and shattered and her chest burned with a fiery pain.
“Sunset! Please don’t do this! You need to be safe! Please! Please come back! Please… please… please…” Celestia begged repeatedly, dropping to her hooves in despair. She attempted to tap the glass once more, but the soft hollow echo only deepened the pain she felt.
“Please.”
“You’re telling me to leave her alone?” Celestia asked through gritted teeth.
“I’m telling you she needs time.”
“You’re crazy. She needs me! She won’t survive!” Celestia swung around, her cloak flying through the air. She made her way to the door, whispering as she did so, “this was a waste of time.”
“Tell me, when you have a wound, do you pick at it to help it heal?”
Celestia paused in her tracks, swinging around to face the Witch with a look of disdain.
“I can help her.”
“You are a blade attempting to heal a cut,” the witch replied in an instant, her back facing Celestia.
“Then what do you propose the medicine for this is?”
“Like all wounds, time.”
Celestia stomped forward, tears in her eyes. “Don’t talk to me about time! I’ve tried time! Time only makes it hurt more, it only makes things worse!”
“You came here for answers, and that is what I am giving you.”
“I came for a solution.”
“And yet when I give you one, you reject it.” The Witch picked up the final card on the table, passing it to Celestia. “Princess, everypony makes mistakes, that is unavoidable.”
Celestia stared at the jeweled back of the card, watching as it glittered under the candlelight. The sight of it reminded her of the stars that hung in the night sky, though the thought sent a crushing blow to her already weak composure.
“I’m the ruler of this kingdom,” Celestia muttered. Her tone had softened and her angered flame had vanished completely. “I’ve lived for countless eons. And yet, I’m still making mistakes that cost me the ones I love.”
“In the end, Princess, you are still a pony. That much will never change.”
Celestia lifted her head up, spotting the witch smiling softly back at her. She flipped the card in her grasp and, on the front of card, stood a jester trotting happily along. His expression was one of unbridled joy without worry.
“The Fool?”
“A new beginning. There will be many difficult options ahead and sometimes, no amount of thinking will help you reach a conclusion. I hope you will trust your instincts in those moments and learn from the mistakes you’ve made before.”
Celestia nodded. Inside her heart, she felt the storm of emotions calm slightly from the mare’s words. She attempted to return the card, but the witch lifted her hoof and pushed it back.
“Keep it. I hope it will bring you peace in your toughest times.”
Celestia smiled softly.
“Thank you.”
“Here I come!”
Celestia launched several snowballs forward. They soared through the air and were headed straight for their target. However…
“Aha!” Twilight Sparkle screamed, enveloping the projectiles in a glow of her own. She launched them back, pelting the alicorn with snow.
Celestia fell with a giggle, waving her hoof in the air. “I surrender! You win!”
“Woo hoo!” Twilight leapt up in the air. “Try again next time, Princess.”
“Don’t get too overconfident, my faithful student.”
“I won’t… if you can beat me.” Twilight winked with a giggle.
“Well, we should get back to class.” Celestia pulled herself up, dusted herself off and made her way to the door.
Twilight followed closely behind.
“Hey, Princess Celestia?”
“Hm?”
“Think I could get more challenging materials? It’s getting a little boring.”
Celestia froze in her tracks.
Her heart raced. And her mind went fuzzy with memories. She attempted to maintain her composure, but the longer the silence lasted, the more it threatened to break and shatter. What was going to be her reply?
What would she say?
“Umm…” Celestia stammered. “I…”
Trust your instincts.
Twilight sighed. “I understand. Don’t worry about it, Princess.”
Images of the jester happily trotting forward entered her mind and soon, it was the only image she could think of.
A new beginning.
“...I’ll ask the teachers to give you harder materials.”
“Really, Princess? You’d…
“...do that?”
Celestia’s breath caught and froze in her throat.
That voice… Celestia shook her head violently. For a moment, she thought she had heard Sunset’s tone. Opening her eyes, she saw Twilight staring back at her, a large grin drawn on her face. Her expression resembled almost an uncanny amount to...
“Yes, my faithful student,” Celestia spoke, her voice cracking as a tear trailed down her cheek.
“Anything for you.”
Pics
First one to show up, and I must say that I'm on the way to a good start.
Sunset and Celestia's issues are a subject beaten to death. However, while this story doesn't really add anything new, it offers a new perspective. I liked the back and forth between the two settings. The announcement you make at the beginning is fulfilled.
Five cards, five flashbacks.
Moreover, even if the story is full of drama, the ending is kinda heartwarming and promise a better future. Because we also knows the story of Sunset's redemption, I believe ending on a dark, sad note wouldn't have worked for me.
Also, I assumed the hooded pony was Sunset, not Celestia. So when the revelation came, the surprise worked well.
However, my main concern with this piece is it's lacking subtlety at some points. Example:
The bold part needs to be cut off for me. Your story is short enough for the reader to remember the main focus of your story. We directly understand with Twilight's question that Celestia will feel conflicted about it, so there is no need to hammer this in your reader's mind.
So overall, it's a solid piece. With some rework, focusing mainly on subtlety, I believe you'll have something great. Thank you for sharing.
Sunset and Celestia's issues are a subject beaten to death. However, while this story doesn't really add anything new, it offers a new perspective. I liked the back and forth between the two settings. The announcement you make at the beginning is fulfilled.
With that, she begun distributing five cards on the tabletop.
Five cards, five flashbacks.
Moreover, even if the story is full of drama, the ending is kinda heartwarming and promise a better future. Because we also knows the story of Sunset's redemption, I believe ending on a dark, sad note wouldn't have worked for me.
Also, I assumed the hooded pony was Sunset, not Celestia. So when the revelation came, the surprise worked well.
However, my main concern with this piece is it's lacking subtlety at some points. Example:
“Think I could get more challenging materials? It’s getting a little boring.”
Celestia froze in her tracks.
Her heart raced. And her mind went fuzzy with memories. She attempted to maintain her composure, but the longer the silence lasted, the more it threatened to break and shatter. What was going to be her reply?
What would she say?
“Umm…” Celestia stammered. “I…”
The bold part needs to be cut off for me. Your story is short enough for the reader to remember the main focus of your story. We directly understand with Twilight's question that Celestia will feel conflicted about it, so there is no need to hammer this in your reader's mind.
So overall, it's a solid piece. With some rework, focusing mainly on subtlety, I believe you'll have something great. Thank you for sharing.
Last story with only one review, so I thought I'd leap into this one.
Cliff-notes, I really liked this one. Its in an odd place for me, I'm not a huge fan of the elaboration style fic. While it can be fun to pencil in the details its not something I'll seak out. Still, this one does a very good job of telling Sunset's 'fall' and Celestia's reaction to it, and it's Celestia's reaction that really sells this fic. It just goes to show as long as you hit those key structural beats then the story will always come together well, good job.
There's a few quibbles. The story is kind of struggling with a few too many PoV's, or maybe not properly defining its PoV's. I'm not sure if that the Celestia reveal precludes just spelling it out, but I didn't feel the mystery mare question really added much to the core of the story so I'd focus on keeping the viewpoint strong. There's also something to be said for avoiding some of the Sunset cliches, I know her story is well set by canon, but mixing up motivations or throwing in some new goals might have made it more fresh.
Anyway, a strong entry. Best of luck.
Cliff-notes, I really liked this one. Its in an odd place for me, I'm not a huge fan of the elaboration style fic. While it can be fun to pencil in the details its not something I'll seak out. Still, this one does a very good job of telling Sunset's 'fall' and Celestia's reaction to it, and it's Celestia's reaction that really sells this fic. It just goes to show as long as you hit those key structural beats then the story will always come together well, good job.
There's a few quibbles. The story is kind of struggling with a few too many PoV's, or maybe not properly defining its PoV's. I'm not sure if that the Celestia reveal precludes just spelling it out, but I didn't feel the mystery mare question really added much to the core of the story so I'd focus on keeping the viewpoint strong. There's also something to be said for avoiding some of the Sunset cliches, I know her story is well set by canon, but mixing up motivations or throwing in some new goals might have made it more fresh.
Anyway, a strong entry. Best of luck.
Oof. Sad Sunbutt in literal Snow. What to say here.
When dealing with anonymous entries, it's always hard to tell how much experience the author has, or how much they are or are not aware of the larger context surrounding them - other entries at this site, past rounds, and pony fanfiction in general. So, author, if you are not aware: "done to death" is an understatement for how common this subject matter (Celestia's broken relationships) and its particular emotional beats are. Seems like there's one or more in every Writeoff round. I, and likely most other readers, feel like I've seen this a thousand times before, and consequently it's very difficult to stand out when writing this type of story.
Unfortunately, this does not make many unique choices in its execution, so it's hard for me to rank it highly. It's true that the tarot reading is unusual in and of itself, but because it comes directly from the art prompt, it's hard for me to credit the writing with originality there. I would have liked to see the reading be used in the story in some original way, but alas, it isn't; Celestia doesn't seem to have a particular reason for getting a reading, and doesn't seem to get much out of it beyond stereotypical "recognized the error of her ways and will do things differently now" WAFF.
Hiding Celestia under the cloak, in particular, did not do much for me. I'm not sure what it was supposed to add as a positive feature, except mystery for mystery's sake. There are only a couple of characters it could possibly be from the start, and the quickly established fact that it's a pony and not a human means it isn't going to be Sunset. Celestia is the most obvious choice, and, well, when the story makes the most obvious choices at every other intersection...
So - content could use some work here. The execution is fine, though. We do see a competent flashback structure, and a clear progression of events with strong pacing. It's stereotypical, but it's the stereotype because it works: we get rising action, a climax, and falling action with an emotional resolution. This is a strong story skeleton. Take what you've learned from putting these pieces together, try to move on and paint your own picture, and you have a recipe for future success. Thanks for writing!
When dealing with anonymous entries, it's always hard to tell how much experience the author has, or how much they are or are not aware of the larger context surrounding them - other entries at this site, past rounds, and pony fanfiction in general. So, author, if you are not aware: "done to death" is an understatement for how common this subject matter (Celestia's broken relationships) and its particular emotional beats are. Seems like there's one or more in every Writeoff round. I, and likely most other readers, feel like I've seen this a thousand times before, and consequently it's very difficult to stand out when writing this type of story.
Unfortunately, this does not make many unique choices in its execution, so it's hard for me to rank it highly. It's true that the tarot reading is unusual in and of itself, but because it comes directly from the art prompt, it's hard for me to credit the writing with originality there. I would have liked to see the reading be used in the story in some original way, but alas, it isn't; Celestia doesn't seem to have a particular reason for getting a reading, and doesn't seem to get much out of it beyond stereotypical "recognized the error of her ways and will do things differently now" WAFF.
Hiding Celestia under the cloak, in particular, did not do much for me. I'm not sure what it was supposed to add as a positive feature, except mystery for mystery's sake. There are only a couple of characters it could possibly be from the start, and the quickly established fact that it's a pony and not a human means it isn't going to be Sunset. Celestia is the most obvious choice, and, well, when the story makes the most obvious choices at every other intersection...
So - content could use some work here. The execution is fine, though. We do see a competent flashback structure, and a clear progression of events with strong pacing. It's stereotypical, but it's the stereotype because it works: we get rising action, a climax, and falling action with an emotional resolution. This is a strong story skeleton. Take what you've learned from putting these pieces together, try to move on and paint your own picture, and you have a recipe for future success. Thanks for writing!
Immediate points for doing something clever with the chosen art prompt. Structurally sound, as well, as Fenton noted. A flashback for each card was an apt choice, as it sets up a promise and then delivers with appropriate tension each time.
I admit I was a bit curious who was under the cloak at first (I'm a big fan of wandering cloaked princesses), but as has been mentioned, I'm not sure it really added to the intrigue at all. The Witch's powers of card based observation seem reliable enough, so Celestia hiding her identity seems moot.
I admit I was a bit curious who was under the cloak at first (I'm a big fan of wandering cloaked princesses), but as has been mentioned, I'm not sure it really added to the intrigue at all. The Witch's powers of card based observation seem reliable enough, so Celestia hiding her identity seems moot.
This hits a lot of predictable notes, but hits them relatively well. The fortune telling seems inconsistent to me though; some cards are meant for Sunset, yet it ends with cards for Celestia directly. Overall, this felt like it was retelling a story I've heard too many times already, without adding much new, other than the framing of a fortune tellers. The ending moral/lesson wraps things up nicely though.
Since Sunset's situation is clearly elaborated on in the show, I was hoping for some sort of subversion. This doesn't really do that, but it does carry through to a better wrap-up with Twilight, instead of simply ending at Sunset's running away, which was good.
I'm a little annoyed by Celestia's attitude here; it's maybe a headcannon thing, and I realize people can be very blind with the relationships of those their close to, but I have a hard time picturing her as quite this... I dunno. Unyielding isn't quite the right word. Foolish, maybe? With how she treats Sunset. I'd expect someone as old as her to have some idea on how to better deal with ponies.
On the other hand, I guess Sunset's situation really did happen in the show, so maybe that feeling is wrong, I dunno.
As others have said, this feels somewhat formulaic. It's not by any means bad, but it doesn't feel particularly fresh or compelling to me. Good work, but you're up against some stiff competition this round.
I'm a little annoyed by Celestia's attitude here; it's maybe a headcannon thing, and I realize people can be very blind with the relationships of those their close to, but I have a hard time picturing her as quite this... I dunno. Unyielding isn't quite the right word. Foolish, maybe? With how she treats Sunset. I'd expect someone as old as her to have some idea on how to better deal with ponies.
On the other hand, I guess Sunset's situation really did happen in the show, so maybe that feeling is wrong, I dunno.
As others have said, this feels somewhat formulaic. It's not by any means bad, but it doesn't feel particularly fresh or compelling to me. Good work, but you're up against some stiff competition this round.