Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.

No Problems Today · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
The Big Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything
“You really did not need to accompany me today, Luna.”

It was both the truth since Celestia appreciated the presence of her sister more than words could ever shape themselves into the concept, and a lie because she hated bringing Luna into a potential disaster this soon after she had been cleansed of Nightmare Moon’s foul taint. So she had not asked, but when Celestia stepped into the Royal Hangar early this morning, there had been a second passenger in the Celestial Phaeton waiting wordlessly for her.

Well, wordlessly until now.

“I did,” said Luna with the absolute certainty of a mare filled with uncertainty and refusing to show it. Her voice was clear without any shouting despite the speed of their carriage or the altitude which they had ascended in the short flight from Canterlot to Ponyville. It brought a twinge of pride to her heart that the Luna that she knew and loved from so long ago had not been lost as she feared.

At her side again after such a long time. She was not going to lose her again.

“It’s just a precaution,” said Celestia more to herself than her sister. “Twilight hasn’t written me a letter in weeks, and she normally comes to me with every little thing that bothers her.”

“Everything,” said Luna flatly.

“Everything,” confirmed Celestia. “Even when she was in the palace, I finally had to restrict her to one letter a day when Spike ran so low on fire that he could only make her letters slightly warm instead of transporting them. He couldn’t eat gems fast enough to keep up with the letters, even the letters requesting additional gems for fuel. She hates to lick stamps,” added Celestia.

Luna turned slightly to grace her sister with an unamused look despite the carriage’s slipstream blowing her mane over most of her face. “Your student, a unicorn so powerful that she was able to control the Elements of Harmony, cannot be that insecure.”

Two of the Royal Guard pegasi pulling the carriage snorted, while one broke out in laughter. It made their ride somewhat rough until they had recovered and returned to their stoic flapping, although an acute observer would have noticed four sets of furry ears turned in the Royal Sisters’ direction despite the flight.




The Royal Phaeton slowed over the small town as a flare of rainbow light burst from a nearby building, leading to an unplanned shift in direction and rapid landing, although both Celestia and Luna restrained their instincts and remained inside until the craft had come to a full stop. Six exuberant mares burst out of the building’s door and galloped rapidly in their direction with a happy purple unicorn in the lead.

“Princess Celestia!” called out Twilight Sparkle, skidding to an abrupt halt in a spray of uprooted grass. “What brings you to—”

“We saw the light from the Elements,” said Celestia in a rush, trying her best to look in all directions.

“What foe do we face that warrants the use of the Elements of Harmony!” added Luna as fast as she could talk. “Hath there been a breakout from Tartarus or some hidden monster striking your town?”

“Foe?” Twilight blinked several times as her friends gathered behind her, all looking far better than their disheveled appearance after their first use of the ancient artifact to destroy Nightmare Moon’s influence over Luna. In fact, they all looked alert and filled with the energy of youth, far better than Twilight’s normal appearance after studying for several nights in a row.

“You used the Elements of Harmony,” said Celestia firmly in the same tone of voice she used to get reasonable and timely answers out of her somewhat erratic student. “What or who did you use them on?”

“The bananners,” said a darker earth pony who Celestia could vaguely remember as the farmer of the bunch… that is of Twilight’s new friends. “They just weren’t right.”

“And we blasted them right into rightness!” bubbled a pink pony who bounced alongside her friend. “Bloweies!”

“And… these were evil… bananners?” asked Luna cautiously.

Celestia was still catching up with names. Applejack was the granddaughter of the founder of the city. The farmpony’s hat made picking her out of the crowd easy, and Pinkie Pie was trivial to identify, as well as Rainbow Dash hovering over them, but the rest were still blurring together in the thousands of names that Celestia had to remember on a daily basis.

“I’m not sure if they were evil,” said a snow-white unicorn with a complicated curve to her mane. “They most certainly were beyond their sale date, all spotty and soft. But one quick zap and everything in the produce aisle was at the peak of ripeness, just like Applejack’s orchard.”

“Uh, what?” asked Celestia as their names abruptly became less important. “So the apples were evil?”

“Nope,” declared Applejack. “The south fields just had a number of worms in them this year. Once we blasted each of the trees, every one was worm-free. Then we went ahead and did every other tree in Sweet Apple Acres just to be sure.”

“Each… tree,” said Luna somewhat numbly, since they had flown over a large number of apple trees on the way in.

“Not all at once,” said Twilight Sparkle, still bouncing on the tips of her hooves in excitement. “We had so many other things in town to fix first.”

An orange blur of tiny wings streaked by with an excited cry, turning in a sharp angle and rocketing straight up into the air.

“Scootaloo,” said Rainbow Dash like that explained everything.

“One of my first experiments—” Twilight Sparkle swallowed and put on an obviously false smile. “I mean our first successful use of the Elements of Harmony to resolve problems.”

“I see,” said Celestia despite a certain lack of veracity to her statement somewhat on the level of ‘voluntarily’ attending a griffon diplomatic dinner or being happy to invite a yak to tour her collection of fragile glass statuettes.

Twilight Sparkle pointed into the crowd of townsponies. “Metaphysical corrections like Nightmare Moon and arrested development in foals were only the beginning. Do you see Diamond Tiara over there?”

“Hello, Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!” The earth pony foal waved cheerfully along with several others next to her. “I’m so glad you sent Twilight Sparkle to Ponyville! I’ve gotten so many more friends since she’s been here!”

“Then there’s the library,” bubbled Twilight. “All those books in a drafty old oak tree. There were creased pages, bark beetles, and the roof drips when it rains. All kinds of terrible problems kept rising every day that I couldn’t fix all by myself. One big blast and look at it!”

Despite her wishes, Celestia found her eyes drifting in the direction of a crystalline tree protruding slightly above the Ponyville skyline.

“Everytime we use the Elements, it grows a little bit. Only a few shelves at a time, but at this rate it will tower over the whole town! There’s going to be all kinds of space for books, and the toilets don’t clog up at all any more!”

“We call it the Big Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything!” declared Rainbow Dash. “I bet we’ve used it hundreds of times already. Sure, it knocked us out pretty hard the first time when we blasted… um…”

“Me,” said Luna flatly.

“It worked,” said Twilight Sparkle as if somepony had just challenged one of her thesis statements. “And it has worked on everything we’ve tried it on so far.”

“Other than repainting the Town Hall,” said Pinkie Pie.

“You wanted it pink,” said Rarity. “The rest of us wanted it a different color, so perhaps the Elements were just confused.”

“I can understand,” said Celestia, who was far, far into the same emotion herself.

“Twilight!” shrieked a nearby pony headed in their direction at a flat gallop. “It’s terrible, just horrible. You have to do something!” The mare staggered to a halt, dragged something out of her saddlebags, then collapsed onto the street with a faint cry of “The horror! The horror!”

“Again?” Twilight let out a breath in a sharp huff, then abruptly brightened. “Oh, it’s an opportunity to demonstrate our discovery! Watch this, Princess Celestia. Places, girls!”

“But—” Celestia watched helplessly as Twilight’s friends gathered around her and their various Elements of Harmony glowed brightly. Admittedly, she had only ever seen the Elements used by her so it was a new perspective on an uncommon event, but she could feel a wrenching in her gut as a brilliant rainbow of magic cascaded off the ancient artifacts and struck…the object the mare was carrying.

“That should do it!” declared Twilight. She stepped forward and lifted the jar up into the air, then twisted at it with her magic.

Then twisted again.

“Just one more blast,” she declared, floating the jar down to the pony still lying in the street. “Here, Daisy. Hold it up for us.”

Before Celestia could voice her opposition, the Elements of Harmony released another rainbow blast of magic onto the jar while the pony holding it kept her eyes closed.

“There we go. That lid was stuck really tight!” declared Twilight as she opened the jar and passed it back to the mare, who did not seem to be as unconscious as she had first appeared. Daisy removed a pickle from the jar and bit down on it with a sharp crunch and a delighted squeal.

“They’re so crunchy! Thank you, Twilight.”

“Pickles?” said Celestia. “You’re using the ancient artifacts we reserved for the most fearsome enemies of Equestria to open pickle jars?”

“And jam too!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “They get sticky-stucky like crazy! Especially marmalade.”

“I know—” Celestia shook her head, trying her best not to be distracted by the thought of a nice Seville marmalade sandwich made with fresh bread and a dab of honey since she had skipped out on breakfast. It would take careful words to do what she needed to do, and the low growl of unsatiated hunger was not helping. Thankfully, Luna stepped up while Celestia was still gathering her scrambled thoughts.

“Twilight Sparkle, you and your friends have indeed mastered the Elements of Harmony to a degree unheard of since my banishment, but we are concerned that their power may have been diminished. Should another great threat arise to dominate our fair nation and require their use, it would be a tragedy indeed should they not be able to perform their duty.”

“But—” managed Twilight before Celestia cut her off.

“Entirely correct, Luna.” Celestia dipped her head in the direction of her faithful student and the tourmaline crown nestled behind her horn. “My sister and I have a great deal of experience with these devices. Perhaps it would be best if we were to return with them to Canterlot for a moon or two of intense examination. That way we could ensure they will function correctly the next time they are needed.”

“We are quite surprised they functioned even once after our banishment,” said Luna. “A thousand years without needed maintenance. Did you even align the thaumic point-phasing in the lower crystalline matrix?”

“Or drain the residual charge units of any solar plasma residue before they became unstable?” added Celestia. “Of course, I don’t think they would explode if struck, but they could crack the housing and melt things nearby.”

Twilight’s eyes were huge by that point, and the surrounding crowd of townsponies began to slowly back away, leaving them in a growing empty space on the street. All of her friends remained close, which was a good sign that they trusted Celestia’s student, but the farmpony took a look over her shoulder at the nearby building and said in a very quiet voice, “Hows about we go and get a box, Your Highnesses. That way they don’t bump against each other during the trip. You know. For safety.”




Between other responsibilities and appointments, Celestia and Luna did not see each other in Canterlot until that evening in the spacious study located between their bedroom towers. They stood for a time on either side of a cardboard ‘Sweet Apple Acres Produce’ box which had six small objects sitting in the bottom, each wrapped in apple-smelling waxed paper, before Luna spoke up.

“Solar plasma residue?” She gave her sister a dry look. “The Elements of Harmony are not used to raise the sun.”

“Well, you made up that thing about thaumic point-phasing,” said Celestia. “I had to think of something that Twilight had not studied, and the sun was the only thing that came to mind.”

Luna stifled a chuckle, but it did not last long before her expression turned serious. “You do not jest?”

“Most certainly not.” Celestia looked out of the balcony and pointed to the sun, which was perched on the horizon, awaiting their evening task. With a soft glow of her horn, she tucked it down below the horizon for the evening while Luna raised the moon just as smoothly as if she had never left.

“She has more curiosity than sense when it comes to magic,” continued Celestia under the light of the moon filling their balcony. “And a most peculiar bend to her thinking. What if she decided to raise the sun some morning on her own?”

“She would not—” Luna took in Celestia’s serious expression.

“Or the moon in which you were imprisoned,” continued Celestia. “If she touched it, she would know about Nightmare Moon. From there, it would have been a very short chain of logic to our relationship. Knowing that, I am not certain she would have had the willpower to use the Elements of Harmony to banish Nightmare Moon.”

“Oh.” Luna took a step and nuzzled under her sister’s chin. “You attract mares with the softest of hearts, dear sister.”

“Yes, I do.” Celestia nuzzled back. “A few moons without using cosmic forces to open jars will do my student good. Now, would you like to spend some evening time with your soft-hearted sister tackling the natural results of my day off?”

Luna gave the stack of papers on Celestia’s desk a glance and shook her head, making a somewhat sideways scuttling for the door before any of it could get on her. “With that, we shall take our leave for the Night. Now that the Elements of Harmony are secure in their vault—” she nodded at the cardboard box “—and safe from being depleted for trivial purposes, we shall explore the palace, chat with the Night staff, and perhaps drop by the kitchens for a treat later. Sweet dreams, Celly.”

“Enjoy your evening, Luna.”

Celestia could not stop smiling as she turned the first paper over and began to read. After all, the gaping hole in her heart was filled again far better than before. They both had traveled through their own troubles and were in a far better place now.

Hours later as she turned over the last piece of parchment in the stack and signed it, her smile had faded. Some things tried her patience to the limit, and there was a distinct temptation to see if the Elements of Harmony would work on paperwork as well as they did on pickle jars.

She was distracted by the loud clatter of hooves out in the hallway, then her sister bolted through the study’s door and flung herself against it as if all the Hounds of Horus were baying in pursuit.

“S-s-ss-sspider,” blurted out Luna. “Big one. Big. Need to borrow the Elements.”

For a time, Celestia merely sat at her desk and observed her little sister. Then she got up, rolled up several sheets of parchment, and walked over to the door.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same,” she said. “Show me the spider you found during during your explorations, Luna. If we can encourage it out into the garden, we will.”

“Smash it,” whispered Luna, although she had gained some confidence with the presence of her larger sister. “Are you sure we don’t need the Elements of Harmony? It’s a big spider.”

“I’m positive.” Celestia gently ushered Luna from the room and closed the door behind them.

There was silence in the study for a time, then the door opened.

“Just in case of problems,” said Celestia as she slipped inside and scooped up the box in her magic. Then she was gone, and the room returned to a peaceful quiet night.
Pics
« Prev   2   Next »
#1 · 2
·
Could be smoother transitioning from the flight to the confrontation with the M6, and detailing out the targets of the Elements. The bananners threw me for a bit, and I don't think even an ancient artifact could put a dent into S1 Diamond Tiara.