God-damn.

That was very well done. Interesting premise, invokes classic tropes but in a way that is ultimately original, strong use of conservation of detail, doesn't overstay its length, and the points of fine description is does have are highly evocative.

I'm going to be very curious to see who wrote this.

This is, in my estimation, one of the purest examples of my personal definition of 'science fiction' I've seen in a while. Postulate a technological advance, and then attempt to extrapolate a story from it.

Although perhaps you came at this from the opposite direction. Erasing all pleasure to destroy addiction is a somewhat horrific but still believable idea with wonderful shades of gray, and it's presented very nicely here. The build-up/reveal is paced well, the attention to detail and conserving the reader's attention is excellent, and the prose is elegant. Nice work!

I do find myself wondering if the Editor's effect is permanent. I feel it's implied it is, because otherwise the ending loses a lot of its bite, but I'm not sure that was presented/rationalized hard enough for me to draw a specific conclusion from the text. Still, it in no way spoils the narrative for me. And hey, maybe I just missed it.

Heh. Nice. Was quite well done. The idea of a mind controlling device is cool, however it's like the contrievance burns out neurones or something to get permanent results. That'd be a very dangerous tool to use, even the restricted version. As, that's what you say at the end, there's no way back.

But, yeah, definitely a nice idea and a solid execution.

I strongly dislike this story's conclusions, which is a very different thing from disliking this story.

Self-induced anhedonia ... well, is trading one problem for another. If you're not following Inquisitor M over on FIMFiction, he's recently posted a series of blogs detailing his ketamine treatments which are doing basically the exact opposite of this story, treating brain-chemical blockages preventing him from feeling pleasure. That blog of his is fascinating and a little scary, talking about experiencing the world for the first time as a person able to be happy. Living life without the ability to feel pleasure is crippling. And even in lesser cases, where it's ""just"" clinical depression ("oh, it's no big deal, we'll 'just' have to amputate both legs!"), I know so many close friends who are more or less fighting for their lives against depression as a daily battle. Calling that a solution for anything rubs me really hard the wrong way. And yet ... the argument of this story is that there may exist cases for which that's a preferable state. Addiction, in particular. I don't think that's true, but this is making me think about that pretty hard, and I have to give the story credit for that.

I also think the implications of jailbreaking an Editor are a lot bigger than what we see here. If it can influence pleasure levels, all you have to do is increase rather than decrease them and you've suddenly got yourself a perfect tool for wireheading. I think this story would be really well served by addressing that, and I think that's a much bigger story than what we see here ... but I can't ding it for not doing so, because that's not its point, and its point is quite effective enough.

Actual criticisms about the story:

I didn’t feel any different, at first. But that was expected – a blind person thought being blind was normal. There was no gaping hole in my psyche.

I simply don't buy this. If you're blind from birth, sure. But if you're struck blind later in life you remember exactly what sight was like.

The most dangerous part of using an Editor was shaving the small patch of hair where your spine met your skull. People had died doing that.

Wait wait what? A death by shaving? What is this, the 1850s?

Tier: Top Contender

I also disagree with the story's message, but I can tolerate that as long as it expresses that message effectively.

for me, it failed there.

Ok, as I understood it at first, it's some computer device that "hacks" the brain like its a computer to control its emotions. like a certain famous PKD story, but with the cool modern twist of users modding and jailbreaking the device. hacking one computer to hack another. but then all my understanding is shattered when it introduces the (supposed) cocaine, and now I'm thinking in terms of bio-chemistry instead. ignoring all other side effects on the organs, it's mainly cancelling out the dopamine?

and even then, that's not really addressing the problem of addiction, because it's about *missing* something (dopamine) rather than having something you can't get rid of. it's an expensive and complicated sci-fi method of going cold turkey. either way it's forcing withdrawal, and should be just as unpleasant.

then I started wondering other questions, like how this small device could be modded to do produce all these chemicals needed, since it's no longer just a "brain software" kinda thing. ehh, I know it's just me thinking too much about the science here. not necessarily from accuracy or realism, but because it seems to be about 2 contradictory ideas.

another thing, for a story that's about emotion, the narrator doesn't seem to have any. he seems so cold and indifferent that I assumed he was going to use the Editor for the exact opposite purpose. though maybe it's the result of the drug addiction? however, he neither seems high nor withdrawing, just sterile.

sorry for being so harsh. I wanted to like this.

The Great

Telling a fully arced story in such a short space is quite difficult, but you succeed excellently. Just very clean.

The Rough

Surprisingly, I think you do manage a bit of unnecessary fat in the story. The line about jailbreaking in the past, for example, doesn't add much to the story in my opinion. Same for the bit about shaving the back of the neck being dangerous. Like, I think I could use a straight razor back there and still manage without killing myself. >_>

I have a bit of a broader issue in that my suspension of disbelief doesn't quite manage to kick in for the author's need. I like the idea (desperate times, desperate measures), but the technology in play makes it a little weird that the author HAS to go to that extreme to solve the issue. Like, this seems like a really obvious use they would have already created something to handle this. Or at least you'd have better options than shitty Russian firmware. I'm also not fully convinced killing those emotions would actually help.

Boy, this story really got the comments going.

I agree with many of the others that the story’s ending is not really a healthy decision. Ending all emotion to escape an addiction is at best misguided, and at worst just setting you up for greater emotional dysfunction down the road. It’s not something that anybody ever should do if this kind of technology did exist.

That being said, I feel like the story isn’t really posing this action as a good thing. It can seem that way; the main character is adamant about it and we’re seeing the entire story from his perspective. However, I don’t think the author was trying to purposefully say we should eliminate all emotions. In fact, the story comes off as more against doing that kind of thing. Look at the beginning, with the smiling employee and people on the box. The main character reflects on these as if they’re good things, but acts as if they’re something that he’s just not able (or willing) to feel. He’s obviously very conflicted, and his actions carry more an air of tragedy to them than any real positivity to “ascending” beyond emotions. This is a story about John Doe falling down while trying to fix himself, not him actually fixing himself. That’s the important difference that makes my perception of the story more positive.

On top of that, the story itself is actually pretty damn immersive. It goes all the way with its science-fiction device and fully explores the implications of it in a not-to-distant future society. I also liked how the narrator’s words were short and emotionally stilted, yet still had a tinge of emotion behind them. It’s like he was on the verge of giving up and just needed the Editor to get rid of those last vestiges. The last paragraph really shows that final transition, with the words simply being flat summations instead of pained reminisces.

I can see why some people don’t like it, but personally, I thought this was one of the strongest stories this round. A slow burn sci-fi about technology that can make you feel nothing...for a price.