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Where the Shadows Run · Poetry Short Short ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 100–2000
Show rules for this event
We're Complicated
I watched them play their silly game across the velvet chest
And laugh did I, though some did cry, when last their journey fit
For all did know the puppet show was naught but some small play
I think back now and crease my brow that life should mirror it

I question oft, was man or god, that lead me down this pit
To golden eyes they told sweet lies “Think of the ones you’ll help”
But now I laugh, what mirthless chaff did fit to feed to me?
For those who now before me sit seem truly evil’s whelp

There she who reek of piss and feek now scream for all she worth
And he who whore and smoke and roar, a beast within the nest
While both are whole are rot of soul and seem to be quite vile
It falls to me I must console them both for babe to rest.

Now what to do with craven shrew both sides consumed by hate
I must confess with some distress I stumble for a way
To calm them both for I am loath to call them truly bad
How different be my life from thee if fate my luck did slay?

“To hell” I cry with sword held high “to standing for this farce.
Instead, beware! For evil nar doth triumph in the end.
And you who leap upon its teat shall burn when sun doth rise!”
Then slew the two, the boar and shrew, before they comprehend

At least-- I wish. Like trapped crayfish the subjects of my ire
They stay my want for blood and gore ‘go not the way so dire’
For they came here to tap my ear and douse this burning fire
They came to you with moral true to save them from this pyre

“So how” I ask with not a glance towards the troubled pair
“Does one of you find courage true to lay your burden bare?”
It’s not I fear as some would sneer, a hopeless case of hate
For love I see under their tree in need of tender care

I care for those with rips and tears who wish to become whole
And this I find I oft surmise is what I’m meant to do
For though I can’t through talent scant, become my hero true
We all can try, with word and rhyme, to help the light shine through
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#1 ·
I wish I knew what happened in this, but it's a bit opaque for me to figure it out. Someone's trying to be the voice of reason and mediate between the other two, but I'm not sure of the situation. On one hand, it sounds kind of like a marriage counselor, but on the other, it's giving me images of a DM solving a dispute between players. I like the tone of it all; I just can't discern the plot.

Structurally, you did quite well, with all the constraints you put on it. One line is short of syllables, one has a typo, and there are numerous places where the predominant iambic stress pattern doesn't quite work with the words' normal pronunciations. There were also several places where the internal rhyme in the first half of each line is pretty weak, which most often happens in the first line of a stanza. Initially, that made me think you didn't intend to have that kind of rhyme in the first line of each, until the third stanza finally had a good one and the next few kept it up.

To borrow an analogy from gymnastics, you have a high starting score due to difficulty level, but there were some deductions for execution. Overall, good effort.
#2 ·
My sword is bright with inner light, but can it lead the way?
The lines I slice may not suffice to my intent impart,
But in the end my foes and friends may both stand in dismay,
When with my care, and sternum pared, I show my beating heart.