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No Good Cosmic Help
Why did you hide the moon?
I've gotten the days all mixed,
And lost a month twixt now and June,
When can you get it fixed?
Wherefore did you swirl these stars
And leave them turning lazily
In curds of lactic magnitude,
And spirals spinning dazily?
And where now is my quantum foam
With which to top espresso?
There's not a trace of structured space
Where anyone can guess. Oh!
Though time and brains are scattered, I
Admit you're yet persistent.
But now produce the moon, or I
Must discharge my assistant!
I've gotten the days all mixed,
And lost a month twixt now and June,
When can you get it fixed?
Wherefore did you swirl these stars
And leave them turning lazily
In curds of lactic magnitude,
And spirals spinning dazily?
And where now is my quantum foam
With which to top espresso?
There's not a trace of structured space
Where anyone can guess. Oh!
Though time and brains are scattered, I
Admit you're yet persistent.
But now produce the moon, or I
Must discharge my assistant!
Structurally, I'm not sure what you're going for. There's not a regular meter. The first stanza has an ABAB rhyme scheme which sets up expectations, but the rest are ABCB. That first stanza even had an internal B rhyme in the third line, but then the third stanza has an internal C rhyme.
I suppose the title should have clued me in, but I didn't understand what was going on until the final stanza. I though the "you" in the first line was to some non-specific person, and the two middle stanzas don't really evoke someone screwing up the universe, so it's only at the end I see what the story to it is, and they I have to go back over it all. I think it would have been more coherent if you'd made that clear in the first stanza. Once that understanding dawns, though, it's a fun enough poem.
I suppose the title should have clued me in, but I didn't understand what was going on until the final stanza. I though the "you" in the first line was to some non-specific person, and the two middle stanzas don't really evoke someone screwing up the universe, so it's only at the end I see what the story to it is, and they I have to go back over it all. I think it would have been more coherent if you'd made that clear in the first stanza. Once that understanding dawns, though, it's a fun enough poem.