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Given who wrote this, I wonder if it's partly or completely drawn from real life.
It feels like it was a last-minute entry without time to edit in some ways, most notably how it uses the same word close together in a few places: "turned aside from the machine’s advice and chose a reasonable-looking side path, turning," "stretches of road stretched," and "may make the attempt and see what may come of it. I may," to name a few examples.
The beginning postulates multiverses, and it's kind of a strange start, since it really creates the sense that the story will be about that, but it's a preamble, then an event is described, then it's linked to the preamble as an application of it. It's easy to understand after the fact, and while it is misleading initially, it's a short enough piece that it won't be confusing. On the multiverse front, I was getting a Noein vibe from it, which is one of my favorite anime series of all time, and I remain surprised to this day at how obscure it seems to be. It won awards, was played on a somewhat known network over here, it had a very unique art style, the music was wonderful, and I'll never get off my soapbox recommending it.
Anyway.
You always hear of that "life flashing before your eyes" phenomenon, and I've been in a similar situation to this, when a deer jumped in front of my car at night, and I could see it hanging suspended there, seemingly in slow motion, and I felt closer to what this story says than the cliched one. It was high enough that I was sure it'd blast through the windshield and kill me, and I just had kind of a calm acceptance. Then it bounced off the hood, and I was fine. Though it ruined my car, less than a quarter mile from my destination on a drive of over 3 hours.
All that said, this story isn't making a point so much as vividly bringing you into the feeling of a single moment, it does that well, and it's a perfectly valid thing for flash fiction to do that longer fiction really can't get away with.
It feels like it was a last-minute entry without time to edit in some ways, most notably how it uses the same word close together in a few places: "turned aside from the machine’s advice and chose a reasonable-looking side path, turning," "stretches of road stretched," and "may make the attempt and see what may come of it. I may," to name a few examples.
The beginning postulates multiverses, and it's kind of a strange start, since it really creates the sense that the story will be about that, but it's a preamble, then an event is described, then it's linked to the preamble as an application of it. It's easy to understand after the fact, and while it is misleading initially, it's a short enough piece that it won't be confusing. On the multiverse front, I was getting a Noein vibe from it, which is one of my favorite anime series of all time, and I remain surprised to this day at how obscure it seems to be. It won awards, was played on a somewhat known network over here, it had a very unique art style, the music was wonderful, and I'll never get off my soapbox recommending it.
Anyway.
You always hear of that "life flashing before your eyes" phenomenon, and I've been in a similar situation to this, when a deer jumped in front of my car at night, and I could see it hanging suspended there, seemingly in slow motion, and I felt closer to what this story says than the cliched one. It was high enough that I was sure it'd blast through the windshield and kill me, and I just had kind of a calm acceptance. Then it bounced off the hood, and I was fine. Though it ruined my car, less than a quarter mile from my destination on a drive of over 3 hours.
All that said, this story isn't making a point so much as vividly bringing you into the feeling of a single moment, it does that well, and it's a perfectly valid thing for flash fiction to do that longer fiction really can't get away with.
I'm guessing this is one of those scenarios where there are very few males left, so ones that can't help propagate the species are considered useless. In that case, though, it's not like leaving him alive would hurt anyone, since the description of the city certainly doesn't make it seem like resources are critically limited and can't be spared on anyone who can't be part of the solution. So maybe the opposite, where women are limited and need a diverse gene pool, so those who can't provide one are a burden? Her line about "can't afford" is the only thing that provides any context on why he has to die, but it's vague enough that I don't get the bigger picture. And as part of that, I don't know who to root for. It might be I'd agree he needed to go. There's some sympathy in it being something he can't help, though for all I know, he's a terrible person. My best guess is it's just a piece against eugenics or some such. I'd toyed with the idea she was some sort of alien race trying to root out the last few humans still living hidden among her people, but her comment about DNA test wouldn't jive with that, since they'd already have the evidence they needed. This is on the verge of working.
On the mechanical side, there are a few editing misses and odd word choices, but nothing too serious.
On the mechanical side, there are a few editing misses and odd word choices, but nothing too serious.
It’s an interesting slice of life. I don’t really think that multiverse theory is actually true, but there would be an infinite number of them, and, as you know, nature doesn’t like infinites.
It never happened to me, to be frank. Sometimes I have escaped a bad situation by the skin of my teeth, but I just seem to move on and leave the ghosts behind. Must be my rationalism. They don’t stick to me as they do to other people. I shake them off.
>>Pascoite
Did you see the movie called ‘Get out!’? It begins exactly like that.
It never happened to me, to be frank. Sometimes I have escaped a bad situation by the skin of my teeth, but I just seem to move on and leave the ghosts behind. Must be my rationalism. They don’t stick to me as they do to other people. I shake them off.
>>Pascoite
Did you see the movie called ‘Get out!’? It begins exactly like that.