Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
WELP.
Guess I've signed up for this bidness. I may have been a little drunk when I did so last night, but dang if I won't stick with this. Or something.
Guess I've signed up for this bidness. I may have been a little drunk when I did so last night, but dang if I won't stick with this. Or something.
Well, this was fun. Kinda reminded me of Discworld, in a vague sort of way.
My only suggestion would be to reveal just who the 'buyer' is-- maybe not a full 'By the way, my name's Lauren Fausticorn' but maybe a bit more of a hint.
My only suggestion would be to reveal just who the 'buyer' is-- maybe not a full 'By the way, my name's Lauren Fausticorn' but maybe a bit more of a hint.
>>Cold in Gardez
>>MCA
>>Trick_Question
>>Crimmar
>>FanOfMostEverything
>>Bad Horse
>>Misternick
WELP.
Thanks for reading, guys! I had just hammered this little thing out over the course of an hour last week-- and I have a terrible habit of getting impatient and posting stuff before really giving it a fine-tuning. That, and I'd forgotten the word limit was 750 words, not 700. Oops.
In any case, I was going for an absurdist, SNL-advertising-like vibe. Somewhat akin to the "Super Happy Fun Ball" sketch, which ... I can't seem to find the original on Youtube. Nuts. (Upon basic poking, I can't seem to find the Old Glory Insurance bit either. Double-nuts).
I guess next time I'll need to play around with it a little more to make it stick a little better. Or ... something. Huh.
Or, well, we'll see how things go next writeoff!
>>MCA
>>Trick_Question
>>Crimmar
>>FanOfMostEverything
>>Bad Horse
>>Misternick
WELP.
Thanks for reading, guys! I had just hammered this little thing out over the course of an hour last week-- and I have a terrible habit of getting impatient and posting stuff before really giving it a fine-tuning. That, and I'd forgotten the word limit was 750 words, not 700. Oops.
In any case, I was going for an absurdist, SNL-advertising-like vibe. Somewhat akin to the "Super Happy Fun Ball" sketch, which ... I can't seem to find the original on Youtube. Nuts. (Upon basic poking, I can't seem to find the Old Glory Insurance bit either. Double-nuts).
I guess next time I'll need to play around with it a little more to make it stick a little better. Or ... something. Huh.
Or, well, we'll see how things go next writeoff!
So, read a couple things. Here's some random thoughts:
Prophecy Celestia vs. Nightmare Moon! It has some nice touches, like the "Say my name" bit, but it doesn't bring anything new to the table.
Contractors Well, this one is fun. Kind of reminds me of the old Damage Control comic book. My only complaint is that it's kinda short-- it'd probably serve well as a start to a longer comedy fic.
Build-A-Pone Workshop It's really just the one joke, but it does that joke pretty well.
Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace So, uh, Starlight Glimmer gets stuck in that magic comic book, where she has a talking communist beard, and also she runs into the sirens from Rainbow Rocks? Uh, kay. Lot of ideas here that would probably be better executed in a full length fic.
Am I ... ? For whatever reason, I read "Flurry" as "Fluttershy," which kind of threw me off. Anyway, this story's about a 2nd grade Flurry Heart getting bullied at school and then having doubts about her Princess-ness. Cute and sweet, but not enough to give you diabetes.
Stupid Tree In a story that's set during last season-ish, Twilight gets mad at the Tree of Harmony 'cause she doesn't get to be sent on any cool Friendship Missions. It's a fun little idea (even if I did it first in By Process of Elimination, but it's not like I'm bringing that up in a shameless plug. Cough cough).
This said, Stupid Tree gets a little more melancholy by the end, which is an interesting choice. And again it plays around with pretty standard ideas in the fandom, but it does so fairly well. Worth a read.
Prophecy Celestia vs. Nightmare Moon! It has some nice touches, like the "Say my name" bit, but it doesn't bring anything new to the table.
Contractors Well, this one is fun. Kind of reminds me of the old Damage Control comic book. My only complaint is that it's kinda short-- it'd probably serve well as a start to a longer comedy fic.
Build-A-Pone Workshop It's really just the one joke, but it does that joke pretty well.
Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace So, uh, Starlight Glimmer gets stuck in that magic comic book, where she has a talking communist beard, and also she runs into the sirens from Rainbow Rocks? Uh, kay. Lot of ideas here that would probably be better executed in a full length fic.
Am I ... ? For whatever reason, I read "Flurry" as "Fluttershy," which kind of threw me off. Anyway, this story's about a 2nd grade Flurry Heart getting bullied at school and then having doubts about her Princess-ness. Cute and sweet, but not enough to give you diabetes.
Stupid Tree In a story that's set during last season-ish, Twilight gets mad at the Tree of Harmony 'cause she doesn't get to be sent on any cool Friendship Missions. It's a fun little idea (even if I did it first in By Process of Elimination, but it's not like I'm bringing that up in a shameless plug. Cough cough).
This said, Stupid Tree gets a little more melancholy by the end, which is an interesting choice. And again it plays around with pretty standard ideas in the fandom, but it does so fairly well. Worth a read.
Hmm. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of 'alternate timeline' stories, or really 'dark' stories to begin with-- I'm of the terribly boring opinion that a work should be able to fit into the main 'canon.' (Maybe with a little bit of willing suspension of disbelief, but still).
... I do kind of like the idea of Maud going on a grim revenge rampage, however. Hm.
... I do kind of like the idea of Maud going on a grim revenge rampage, however. Hm.
>>FanOfMostEverything
Yeah, reads like Rarity to me. Not to mention she's got a grudge with Blueblood to begin with.
Yeah, reads like Rarity to me. Not to mention she's got a grudge with Blueblood to begin with.
You know, I really, really like the concept of this story. "Blueblood accidentally starts the French Revolution" is a concept that has legs. Which makes me wish I'd thought of it first.
This said, I'm not sure if a flash-fic is the best form this story could've taken. If nothing else, some extra formatting (line breaks are your friend!) would go a long way in delineating one scene from another.
And, y'know, while Rabble Rouser certainly is a fitting name for a pony, I personally find it funnier if Blueblood just used the term 'Rabble' to (perhaps rightly) describe the angry mob, rather than it being an actual name. :)
This said, I'm not sure if a flash-fic is the best form this story could've taken. If nothing else, some extra formatting (line breaks are your friend!) would go a long way in delineating one scene from another.
And, y'know, while Rabble Rouser certainly is a fitting name for a pony, I personally find it funnier if Blueblood just used the term 'Rabble' to (perhaps rightly) describe the angry mob, rather than it being an actual name. :)