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Alright, managed to finish one. Now to edit and see if I can come up with more than one. Minifics are surprisingly hard. You start off with a small idea, thinking you might have to puff it up a bit, and then you realize you reached the max word count and still bare bones. Is this how it always goes?
The last three lines killed me.
What threw me off however was the first time where the protagonist speaks. Perhaps it was the sudden shift to the mundane way of speech. I think that all in all I would have appreciated far more if the conversation had been carried in a more flowery, self-important, pompous way or even nothing at all, communicating through expressions, movement, and a sense of will. As it is, I can't help but wonder if you didn't have enough time to properly think of what should be said at that point and left it as it. It feels placeholdery, something you meant to return to when you properly set up the rest of the story.
What threw me off however was the first time where the protagonist speaks. Perhaps it was the sudden shift to the mundane way of speech. I think that all in all I would have appreciated far more if the conversation had been carried in a more flowery, self-important, pompous way or even nothing at all, communicating through expressions, movement, and a sense of will. As it is, I can't help but wonder if you didn't have enough time to properly think of what should be said at that point and left it as it. It feels placeholdery, something you meant to return to when you properly set up the rest of the story.
>>TheCyanRecluse
Considering how silly ideas often end up being great you might want to try nevertheless. Heck, I was trolling tvtropes today and I just learned that Terry Pratchett's character, Sam Vimes, was supposed to be something of a placeholder character, made up of cliches all stuck together until he became actually alive in his head. That's not counting how often I've seen guys in fimfiction be all like, "why did people like this story most out of everything I've written? It was a stupid idea! I didn't mean that!"
Considering how silly ideas often end up being great you might want to try nevertheless. Heck, I was trolling tvtropes today and I just learned that Terry Pratchett's character, Sam Vimes, was supposed to be something of a placeholder character, made up of cliches all stuck together until he became actually alive in his head. That's not counting how often I've seen guys in fimfiction be all like, "why did people like this story most out of everything I've written? It was a stupid idea! I didn't mean that!"
>>TIAS_A1927
I'm thinking that the measures Celestia took to prevent Tirek from absorbing her magic if he found her was to remove her cutie marks, in the short term at least. Probably the reasoning is that since the cutie marks disappear when he absorbs a pony's magic(at least that's what I think happens), they act as a form of conduit. She wrote the messages on her own skin. That's why Luna felt the "parchment" was older than her.
I'm thinking that the measures Celestia took to prevent Tirek from absorbing her magic if he found her was to remove her cutie marks, in the short term at least. Probably the reasoning is that since the cutie marks disappear when he absorbs a pony's magic(at least that's what I think happens), they act as a form of conduit. She wrote the messages on her own skin. That's why Luna felt the "parchment" was older than her.
Kung Fu me, I got a good idea, but I had no time, and I don't believe I can do it justice. I only managed to spend three hours on it, and now I am tired, sleepy, and have to be to work in a few hours so I don't think I'll have time to edit it, short piece as it necessarily became to accommodate my awful powers of scheduling.
Oh well. I guess I can try, right? I mean, what does Yoda know anyway?
Oh well. I guess I can try, right? I mean, what does Yoda know anyway?
Am I the only one who instantly came up with an idea for it?
Oh, and since this is my first time, all fandoms are fair game, right?
Oh, and since this is my first time, all fandoms are fair game, right?
>>Not_A_Hat Actually, I think it's meant to be the shadow of the nuke as it comes down. Their time is literally out.
The characters seemed a bit... typeset to me. The racist and the victim. It doesn't give a good reason why Franklin went there while waiting for the end. Why was the place where he was kicked out of the only place he had left? Was this really the only place he had left, or was Billy just less of a jerk to him than anyone else and he was his best option? No reason given, just... they are there. They sit together, the end comes, and it's not worth the effort fighting over anything now. Hatred doesn't mean much in the face of death. It's a very old lesson, and this is a weak iteration of it when considered thus. It was still interesting enough. If that was the prologue of a book, I would be interested enough to turn the page and keep reading.
The characters seemed a bit... typeset to me. The racist and the victim. It doesn't give a good reason why Franklin went there while waiting for the end. Why was the place where he was kicked out of the only place he had left? Was this really the only place he had left, or was Billy just less of a jerk to him than anyone else and he was his best option? No reason given, just... they are there. They sit together, the end comes, and it's not worth the effort fighting over anything now. Hatred doesn't mean much in the face of death. It's a very old lesson, and this is a weak iteration of it when considered thus. It was still interesting enough. If that was the prologue of a book, I would be interested enough to turn the page and keep reading.
I have to say, what I expected to see there at the end was a culinary disaster beyond reproach. The overreaction as >>Not_A_Hat said though was so overboard over what it was that I actually let out a loud, short laugh at the reveal of the true extension of the ruined meal. It might be the simple way the character puts it "I can't believe..." is so extremely simple over the rest of the story that it really tickled my fancy.
It does end up being too short however. Through all of it, the only thing that is being said in essence is;
- I don't like how you made this sandwich.
- Whatever.
It's not a story of even half of one, but part of a scene.
It does end up being too short however. Through all of it, the only thing that is being said in essence is;
- I don't like how you made this sandwich.
- Whatever.
It's not a story of even half of one, but part of a scene.