… Well, that was… weird. At first, it's a cheesy action story, then there's an apparent deus ex machina, then… what? Twist sad ending? Is Lyra a zombie, or a figment of Bonbon's imagination? Is this a recurring memory-nightmare of Bonbon's or something?

I don't know, man. It was strange.

It's an interesting concept. Got some punctuation problems, though, especially in the dialog. It also seems strange the way the captain is explaining this to them only once they're out in the field. It's convenient for the story but seems odd in-world. Did they not expect to run into changelings? The third paragraph seems to indicate that they did.

Are they barely-trained draft soldiers? The comment about college bits seems to indicate at least some of them signed up for this. Is the war so desperate that they had to start pulling soldiers mid-training?

It seems kind of odd, the way the viewpoint character seems to break into his comrades head to talk about how he only signed up for college bits. Did he hear that from him, or what?

Interesting idea, Zecora's rhyming being a curse. Kind of fun, if silly. Some of the rhymes feel forced, though. Also, 'rapt' does not rhyme with 'adept.'

Funny enough, but it's a bit lacking in plot; it sort of wanders around making jokes for a bit and then it ends. It could also use a bit of editing - there are a few points that should have commas and don't, for example. Not bad, though.