Poor Rachel. Lost her boyfriend and her mirror.

Nice work! It has good twist, which makes me wish we got to spend more time seeing Rachel wrestle with her dysphoria. I get this competition doesn't give you much room for that kind of thing. But if you wrote more, I'd read it.

Originality--overrated. You had a simple story and you told it well. I felt the awkwardness, the bitterness, Steven's hesitation. It flowed nicely. Good work!

I also don't think the reason for the separation is important. In a longer, more complex story, yes, it would matter. Here, I don't think so. This is the story of a single moment, an awkward, sad, frustrating moment. I think most people can feel the emotion whether they the know specific reason or not because this scene depicts something we've all experienced on some level or another.