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Ugh, missed a poetry event while I was on vacation. Everyone tied for gold!
Assuming I actually know how Skrillex is pronounced (and I may well not), the stress pattern seems backwards to fit the meter, but otherwise, this has no issues with rhyme or meter. I also like it when authors don't feel obligated to have line endings coincide with pause points in the sentences. Very brief but nice peek into someone who cares about his wife and wants to encourage her fun even though she's not talented at singing. This was cute.
Assuming I actually know how Skrillex is pronounced (and I may well not), the stress pattern seems backwards to fit the meter, but otherwise, this has no issues with rhyme or meter. I also like it when authors don't feel obligated to have line endings coincide with pause points in the sentences. Very brief but nice peek into someone who cares about his wife and wants to encourage her fun even though she's not talented at singing. This was cute.
I'm unclear on whether the birds are chastising humans for having fake bird calls (in cuckoo clocks or whatever) that don't do the real thing justice, or if they're saying that human music doesn't approach the beauty of birdsong. If the latter, then is the intent that the reader will pick up on the bird's hypocrisy? It accuses humans of copying birdsong without understanding its expressiveness, yet human music also undoubtedly has expressiveness in it that birds wouldn't understand, and the bird doesn't concede that possibility.
In form, there are no hitches, except that there are two ways to pronounce "banal," and I've always heard "BAY-null," so that's how I read it at first. Another cute poem.
In form, there are no hitches, except that there are two ways to pronounce "banal," and I've always heard "BAY-null," so that's how I read it at first. Another cute poem.
The line beginning "My field" is a syllable short. Otherwise, the rhyme and meter all work. It did take a second try to get the short stanzas right in my head, since they change the stress pattern from the longer stanzas; a reader will naturally assume at first that it'll be consistent in the type of foot used, even if the number of feet will clearly be changing just by the noticeably shorter lines.
If I'm reading this right, a guy who was warned of the dangers of interacting with fairies indulges in doing so anyway, gets fascinated by it, and withdraws just in time to avoid losing himself. And not just any interaction, but a royal procession. This is very evocative and creates a strong mood. I think it was a good choice to use feet with two syllables, since that creates a walking or marching feel that matches what the fairies are doing. This was fun.
If I'm reading this right, a guy who was warned of the dangers of interacting with fairies indulges in doing so anyway, gets fascinated by it, and withdraws just in time to avoid losing himself. And not just any interaction, but a royal procession. This is very evocative and creates a strong mood. I think it was a good choice to use feet with two syllables, since that creates a walking or marching feel that matches what the fairies are doing. This was fun.