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Is it unethical:
That I submitted this prompt because I had a Pony story I wanted to write with this theme? I mean, the whole point around here is that the story's supposed to follow the prompt rather than vice versa, isn't it?
Oh, alas for my various transgressions! :)
Mike
That I submitted this prompt because I had a Pony story I wanted to write with this theme? I mean, the whole point around here is that the story's supposed to follow the prompt rather than vice versa, isn't it?
Oh, alas for my various transgressions! :)
Mike
>>Baal Bunny
No problem, you're fine. Nothing wrong with submitting a prompt that would point in your heart's direction.
No problem, you're fine. Nothing wrong with submitting a prompt that would point in your heart's direction.
The one suggestion:
I'd make to give the narrative a bit more "oomph" would be to play with Flurry's voice. Right now, 6-year-old Flurry and 31-year-old Flurry use pretty much the same words, the same sentence structures, seem to have the same world view informing their writing. I'd recommend making the narrative more reflective ot Flurry's growth. And you could have fun with it, too, making her get more melodramatic during her teen years--start calling Cadance "Mother" instead of "Mom," little ticks like that. What's here is very nice, but I think it'd be even better if the language reflects Flurry's character growth.
Mike
I'd make to give the narrative a bit more "oomph" would be to play with Flurry's voice. Right now, 6-year-old Flurry and 31-year-old Flurry use pretty much the same words, the same sentence structures, seem to have the same world view informing their writing. I'd recommend making the narrative more reflective ot Flurry's growth. And you could have fun with it, too, making her get more melodramatic during her teen years--start calling Cadance "Mother" instead of "Mom," little ticks like that. What's here is very nice, but I think it'd be even better if the language reflects Flurry's character growth.
Mike