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See You, Math Cowboy
“Please stop sighing so loudly. It’s...not what I want to hear right now.”
“Sorry. What do you want to hear? I doubt we have time for anything poignant.”
“Actually, how much time is left?”
“What does it matter?”
“Nothing, I guess. I’d just like to know...ya know?”
“The Clock says we have...a hundred and twenty seconds left until the End. Give or take a second or two.”
“Not much at all, huh?”
“No.”
“Do you regret anything?”
“Of course, but what’s it matter at this point? In minutes none of it will mean anything. Regret itself will be gone. There won't’ be anything to look back on, let alone anything to do the looking. So I wasn’t perfect. None of us were ever. And now...no one will even get the chance to try.”
“That’s a little dark.”
“I’ve never been a fan of deadlines. You know that. Makes me bitter and irritable.”
”And sigh a lot.”
”That too. Sorry. Again.”
”How about we try to come up with something? An endcap to it all? I know it’s pointless. No one will ever hear it except us.”
”I guess it’s better than just letting it wash over us without acknowledgement. But you and I, we’re not poets. We’re engineers. ‘Strong interpersonal communication skills’ isn’t why we’re even here. What are we going to say? ‘It’s been great?’”
”I don’t think it needs to be anything massive, man. Just...something, ya know? Like...I want to say that it was fun working with you. Despite your weird habits and freakish sense of humor, I’ve enjoyed these last few months crunching the numbers and gathering data. When we started, I thought you were a dick. But when...when we figured out the End was coming, and you locked us and the data in here… When you did that, I saw you as a person. Someone with a heart behind that brain and ego.”
”Thanks, I think. You are a pretty decent human being too. All things considered. Smart as a whip. Maybe smarter than me.”
”Really?”
”Maybe.”
”I’ll take it.”
”If I have to say something, then let me say that I’m really kind of pissed. I never wanted to find the answer to what should be an impossible equation. I wanted more time and I wanted things to end for me in a completely different place.”
”Where?”
”In bed with a beautiful woman. Like your mom.”
”Jokes on you, my mother is not a looker.”
”That explains your face.”
”Yeah...if we can josh each other, it can’t be all bad, right?”
”Maybe. We’re down to sixty seconds.”
”The Last Minute. Ever.”
”Yeah.”
”Dude, I just want to establish something here. No homo.”
”What the hell?”
”We have a minute left to live, man, and right now I want a hug like a drowning man wants oxygen. It’s not like anyone will ever know...ya know?”
”No. I guess not.”
”So…?”
”Come here, you big sap.”
”Thank you.”
”Thirty seconds. Don’t squeeze so tight. Who taught you how to hug, a grizzly?”
”My mother isn’t that ugly.”
”Heh. Twenty.”
”You going to count it all down?”
”No. Just waiting for this smelly press of hairy engineer flesh to come to an end.”
”I’m not letting go.”
”Goddamnit.”
”There’s the alarm.”
”Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.”
“Um...the alarm stopped. I was kind of expecting the End to be kind of sudden, ya know?”
“I did say ‘give or take a second or tw—”
“Sorry. What do you want to hear? I doubt we have time for anything poignant.”
“Actually, how much time is left?”
“What does it matter?”
“Nothing, I guess. I’d just like to know...ya know?”
“The Clock says we have...a hundred and twenty seconds left until the End. Give or take a second or two.”
“Not much at all, huh?”
“No.”
“Do you regret anything?”
“Of course, but what’s it matter at this point? In minutes none of it will mean anything. Regret itself will be gone. There won't’ be anything to look back on, let alone anything to do the looking. So I wasn’t perfect. None of us were ever. And now...no one will even get the chance to try.”
“That’s a little dark.”
“I’ve never been a fan of deadlines. You know that. Makes me bitter and irritable.”
”And sigh a lot.”
”That too. Sorry. Again.”
”How about we try to come up with something? An endcap to it all? I know it’s pointless. No one will ever hear it except us.”
”I guess it’s better than just letting it wash over us without acknowledgement. But you and I, we’re not poets. We’re engineers. ‘Strong interpersonal communication skills’ isn’t why we’re even here. What are we going to say? ‘It’s been great?’”
”I don’t think it needs to be anything massive, man. Just...something, ya know? Like...I want to say that it was fun working with you. Despite your weird habits and freakish sense of humor, I’ve enjoyed these last few months crunching the numbers and gathering data. When we started, I thought you were a dick. But when...when we figured out the End was coming, and you locked us and the data in here… When you did that, I saw you as a person. Someone with a heart behind that brain and ego.”
”Thanks, I think. You are a pretty decent human being too. All things considered. Smart as a whip. Maybe smarter than me.”
”Really?”
”Maybe.”
”I’ll take it.”
”If I have to say something, then let me say that I’m really kind of pissed. I never wanted to find the answer to what should be an impossible equation. I wanted more time and I wanted things to end for me in a completely different place.”
”Where?”
”In bed with a beautiful woman. Like your mom.”
”Jokes on you, my mother is not a looker.”
”That explains your face.”
”Yeah...if we can josh each other, it can’t be all bad, right?”
”Maybe. We’re down to sixty seconds.”
”The Last Minute. Ever.”
”Yeah.”
”Dude, I just want to establish something here. No homo.”
”What the hell?”
”We have a minute left to live, man, and right now I want a hug like a drowning man wants oxygen. It’s not like anyone will ever know...ya know?”
”No. I guess not.”
”So…?”
”Come here, you big sap.”
”Thank you.”
”Thirty seconds. Don’t squeeze so tight. Who taught you how to hug, a grizzly?”
”My mother isn’t that ugly.”
”Heh. Twenty.”
”You going to count it all down?”
”No. Just waiting for this smelly press of hairy engineer flesh to come to an end.”
”I’m not letting go.”
”Goddamnit.”
”There’s the alarm.”
”Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.”
“Um...the alarm stopped. I was kind of expecting the End to be kind of sudden, ya know?”
“I did say ‘give or take a second or tw—”
I like how casual these two characters are, and how they play off each other. That said, the story itself seemed sort of lackluster to me, a very literal take on the prompt which, while competently executed and amusing to read, doesn't do anything new or exciting. It's a pretty standard doomsday thing.
Well, yeah, I have to agree with >>FloydienSlip here. I wasn't very enthused by the dialogue. All in all, this feels quite bland. It's just… flat, sorta run of the mill. Sorry.
It's fine. The main problem for me is that these pure dialogue pieces put me in mind of things like Rosencrantz and Guildernstern Are Dead, which live and die by exceptionally clever and witty dialogue, which this... lacks. Again, this isn't to say that the dialogue here is bad, it just doesn't rise above fine.
If you're going to rely entirely on dialogue, you want it to be GREAT dialogue.
If you're going to rely entirely on dialogue, you want it to be GREAT dialogue.
Same as the rest for me. Brief dialogue exercise with nothing much to it. The "no homo" bit sits poorly with me, but mostly because it's the only bit of non-generic substance in the piece.
Thanks for writing, and congratulations for finishing an entry. Hope to see you back and tackling more challenging material in the future!
Thanks for writing, and congratulations for finishing an entry. Hope to see you back and tackling more challenging material in the future!
Cowboy Bebop title. 'kay.
Strange piece, this. Unfortunately, it's all dialog, and not much reveal. There's a little bit of amusement in the words, but without at least some setting, I can't "see" it in my mind, so it feels less real than most other stories. I need at least a sense of where I am to kickstart my imagination.
I will say it slightly hits home in an odd way though. I was "let go" from a job I've had for three years on Friday, and "the last minute" bits here, with other engineers poked that open wound.
Overall, not bad, but needs context to make it real.
Strange piece, this. Unfortunately, it's all dialog, and not much reveal. There's a little bit of amusement in the words, but without at least some setting, I can't "see" it in my mind, so it feels less real than most other stories. I need at least a sense of where I am to kickstart my imagination.
I will say it slightly hits home in an odd way though. I was "let go" from a job I've had for three years on Friday, and "the last minute" bits here, with other engineers poked that open wound.
Overall, not bad, but needs context to make it real.