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Under the Sun · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Bearers of the Celestial Palanquin
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#1 · 9
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She sits upon her subjects, the Mistress of the Sun.
They fight to breathe but she is only having fun.
There’s nothing brightly shining beneath her thunder buns…
Her blubber will not yield to force
Her meals are eleven-course
Fat Horse
Fat Horse...
#2 · 5
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony >>GroaningGreyAgony
I like to think those are two really long gray pony's instead of four normal ones.
#3 ·
· · >>Super_Trampoline
>>Super_Trampoline
Like the steamroller scene in Mel Brooks's Silent Movie?
#4 · 1
·
>>GroaningGreyAgony
I was going to confess that I didn't think I'd seen any of his films but then realized I was thinking of Woody Allen. I've seen the stage musical version of the producers, and I've seen Young Frankenstein and I've seen blazing saddles.
#5 · 4
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! for finally teaching me how to spell the word "palanquin." I've been trying to figure out how to spell that word since July 19, 2008, when Princess Azula complained to Fire Lord Ozai about how good palanquin bearers are so hard to come by these days.

As for the picture, it's well drawn and funny, but there's nothing here that I find unique or particularly evocative.
#6 · 2
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
0/10 that cutie mark should be an interrobang instead.

But jokes aside, this looks decent enough, and it got a smile out of me.

And I feel like those poles weren't made for ponies to hold.
#7 · 2
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
(Some reviews through my art slate as I start my reading.)

This has a simple, cartoonish style, but it's a quite polished simple, cartoonish style, with some nice details (like the cake on her Cutie Mark – though I thought it was a cheese wheel at first and got confused). I also appreciate that the thick black lines of the palanquin bearers draw lots of visual attention relative to the grey lines of Celestia, which is what you want. A solid technical effort that's also worth a smile (and a wince of sympathy).

I'm both relieved and a little disappointed that there are no entries based on it.

My main complaint is that, as furry trash, I see a lot of this as fetish porn and it's not my fetish. :P My main actually legitimate complaint is that the three rays of the Cutie Mark make it look more like a triskelion than a solar symbol.

Overall, well done!
#8 ·
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>>Super_Trampoline, >>Dubs_Rewatcher, >>The_Letter_J, >>horizon

Bearers of the Celestial Palanquin

This was what I considered my “B” idea for this round. (The “A” idea proved too troublesome to execute and I have put the concept aside for now.) I scribbled a little planning sketch while at work, and ‘inked’ it in Adobe Illustrator.

I know her mark looks weird, as Horizon points out, but I was trying to make the sun symbol look fat. How can one make a round symbol look fatter? I chose to do it by thickening the solar prominences.

Thanks for the mostly positive comments!