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Look, I Just Want My Sandwich · Original Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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So you have a few questions on how Manny makes his legendary sandwiches huh? Well don't just stand there! Come with me into the kitchen! It's no secret! All cooking takes love and you must love your food if you want it to taste great! So, let's get started!

You start by making the base. Toasting the two halves of French bread in a conventional oven. For just a few minutes, of course. To grant that crisp crust to the bread. That heavenly scent, that would drive a real chef mad with desire and inspiration. For me, it just signals the start of a toiling task.

The next step brings about some special meat. A large bratwurst sausage, smoked to perfection and cut in an unusual way. In half, lengthwise! For what is bologna, perpperoni, and salami anyways, if they are not a sausage, huh? The same meat, different preparations. Lay it flat across the base to make a very bold filling.

Next will be the cheese! Now this is special. What? You think none of this is simple? You watch! It's something special altogether! Why not place some love in to your cooking, no?! Take some fresh hollandaise and pour it along the base. The juices soak into the bread and add much more flavor. What is hollandaise sauce? Oh! You poor poor, boy! You have not been eating well enough! It's simple egg yolk mixed with lemon juice over a light fire. Eh! For me, I add some provolone cheese into the heated hollandaise to melt it right before we set it. It's marvelous on bread.

Next we take a frying pan and do a little waltz with some beefsteak tomato and red onions in a light drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette. Just until the tomato slices wilt and the onions change slight coloring. Just enough to have them hug the meat. Drain a bit of the juices away and slather the mixture right on the bratwurst pieces.

After the meat has met it's partner. We blanket the couple in a lovely wrap of romaine lettuce. The long leafy branches of this vegetable brings about a much easier time to make sure these two love birds sit cozy as we finish completing the family. See the stalks? The middle part of the branch? They're sweet and add more balance to the meal. It's a must with how spicy sausage can sometimes turn out to be. Ah ha ha!

Now for the final part. And oh! It would be a sin not to do this. Take the top end and smother the sliced side with a light coating of some pesto mayo. Now if I have to explain myself to you one more time, I'm going to be adding more meat to a future masterpiece! With you included. It's just a simple combination of light mayo and pesto. And then we just form the union right there. And now we have our 'Magnificent' Sandwich.

Now for you! It may have been quite the show. But for me, it was strenuous holding back all this time from completed perfection. Now if you excuse me! It's time for the last step. Sandwich to mouth. Bon appetit!
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#1 · 2
Man, I'm hungry.

I'm constantly second guessing myself as to whether there are any hidden meanings behind the fics of this round. I'm just going to take this one at face value. It was evocative enough for me to want to eat something, so that was a success, and there's a nice attempt at creating a distinct voice throughout. I'm not sure it did much else for me, but my imagination thanks you!

Thanks for sharing your work.
#2 · 1
I find myself wanting to critique your recipe more than your writing here. This isn't much of a story, so I don't actually have much to say; I'm going to assume that you understood you were leaving out any semblance of plot when you wrote this. A hint of character comes through, I guess, but not enough to really make much of. There's actually very little here. Perhaps that's the meta? A very fulfilling meal, but a fairly empty story? It would be clever if it was.

I'm not sure about that pesto mayo. You've got two sauces on here, and pesto is not something I've ever associated with steak or sausage. I think something spicy would taste better.
#3 · 1
Ok, I don't want to come through as a prick here, so let me be clear about my intentions. I've seen a lot of what I consider technical errors and missteps in the recipe. If you pout them there willingly then you added a very subtle layer characterizing our gracious host. In that case, kudos, it was extremely clever and surprised me, but I need something that hints that this is the correct interpretation. It may have been far too subtle, as I expect most people to not know that the Sauce Hollandaise you describe is not Sauce Hollandaise. If this are indeed technical errors, then you can, if you want, discount my criticism here for the same reason, it's too subtle for most people to notice. Going so much into detail is also often a risk if you don't know very very well the subject.

Anyway, if the second level of meaning is there then we have an interesting character piece that tells us a lot indirectly. If not, then the story is a bit lackluster, as in not really being there. I'm still undecided if I shall interpret "With you included." as a hint to cannibalism or if it is simply a joking menace. All in all, I suspect there is some missing context here that would give the whole entry a lot more depth by helping us to understand how to read it.
#4 ·
I probably would have enjoyed this more if I hadn't eaten just a while ago...

I'm going to have to side with everyone else here, it's an enticing recipe with a likeable host, but it isn't a story. If there was a deeper meaning to be inferred from this, I'm sorry to report it was lost on me.
#5 · 3
That heavenly scent, that would drive a real chef mad with desire and inspiration. For me, it just…

… so the narrator is telling us up front that they're not a real chef?

As it turns out, my ex-wife is a real chef (trained at culinary school early in our marriage and still works in the field), so I ran this by her:

h: Reviewing a story in which someone builds a sausage sandwich with Hollandaise sauce. And then drizzles on balsamic vinaigrette. I did a double take, but want a pro opinion. How wack is that?
h: Like, could it work or are the flavors just gonna clash too hard?
K: It's not so much a clash as the balsamic would kill the Hollandaise. And sausage is usually kind of spicy.
K: Plus, that would be a very wet sandwich.
h: They did toast the bread first so I'll spot them that. "Kill" how?
K: Hollandaise tastes like lemon butter. It's a very light sauce that is typically served over poached eggs or asparagus. Balsamic vin is a dark, heavier flavor profile. You can use it as a marinade or reduce it down to a glaze.
K: What I mean by "kill" is that once you put them together on the same dish, you will end up with eggy balsamic - it's like it's not even there.
K: If someone wanted the creaminess of hollandaise but the tangy of balsamic, I would make mayo with a shot of balsamic. Same mouth feel, much more coherent flavor.
h: Ah, gotcha.
h: Actually at the end they also add in pesto mayo
K: Ew.
K: Pesto mayo and a drizzle of balsamic on a sandwich is pretty classic Italian. Hollandaise is a French sauce, it can't get in the middle of all that.
K: I suspect the writer threw a cooking dictionary at this description and picked what sounded fanciest.
h: I'm gonna have to try balsamic + pesto mayo sometime then — I'm curious how that works. Thank you. :)

Beyond that … as others have noted, the entirety of this appears to be the content of the recipe itself (of questionable authenticity; I'm not the food expert my ex is, but I lived with her for years and so I know enough to find the recipe here odd) and the little scraps of characterization of the narrator (which feels pretty thin). This was certainly a noble experiment, and I think the idea of using the recipe description as a narrative device has a lot of potential, but right now neither half lands for me. I think a great direction to take this would be to have the narrator reveal little bits about his opinions or preferences or past as he walks through step by step, psychologically unloading layer by layer as if peeling an onion. Or maybe treat the recipe as an extended metaphor. Right now the food porn just feels too empty to connect with me.

I hope the expert opinion helps you revise the food parts of this! I really do need to try the balsamic + pesto mayo thing. I've got some balsamic vinegar at home and should be able to whip the rest up with stuff from our local organic market.

Tier: Needs Work