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I only see one typo, and there are a few instances of a word repeated twice close together, but other than that, it's very clean.
This plays more like a scene than a story, as I don't see any kind of message being delivered, but for what it is, it's an interesting scene. I guess the machine makes clouds bleed off their tornado potential? I feel like I'm missing an inside joke in your choice of names. They seem vaguely familiar.
Scene though it is, you kept it engaging throughout.
This plays more like a scene than a story, as I don't see any kind of message being delivered, but for what it is, it's an interesting scene. I guess the machine makes clouds bleed off their tornado potential? I feel like I'm missing an inside joke in your choice of names. They seem vaguely familiar.
Scene though it is, you kept it engaging throughout.
Hm, redefining Puck as a winged fairy? Maybe I'm relying on an inaccurate mental picture of him as a satyr.
Anyway, some comma splices and one instance of saying the same thing twice in the same sentence, but mechanically pretty clean.
I know I won't get the quote exactly right, but this is basically a "any sufficiently advanced technology will appear as magic" story, but it's a fun one. I'd think Puck would be old enough to have seen the pace of technological advancement before and be prepared to re-evaluate what he considers to be magic. Or maybe he's never been away for this length of time before, so it's a jump larger than he has experience with? True, he never mentions any other human collaborator prior to Maribeth's one ancestor, so maybe he's only had the one. Fun and cute story.
Anyway, some comma splices and one instance of saying the same thing twice in the same sentence, but mechanically pretty clean.
I know I won't get the quote exactly right, but this is basically a "any sufficiently advanced technology will appear as magic" story, but it's a fun one. I'd think Puck would be old enough to have seen the pace of technological advancement before and be prepared to re-evaluate what he considers to be magic. Or maybe he's never been away for this length of time before, so it's a jump larger than he has experience with? True, he never mentions any other human collaborator prior to Maribeth's one ancestor, so maybe he's only had the one. Fun and cute story.