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#25030 ·
· on The Word
I actually like the fact that Twilight and Celestia don't talk about it further. I mean they should. But for me, as the reader, I like to guess about what these seraphim are. (I also notice that seraphim have become a fucking meme. I don't know why but whatever.) It's kinda lovecrafty but not. Is it benevolent? Ordering death prevent catastrophe in the mortal realm? But I'm not exactly sure why the Alicorns need to be a part of this loop. What exactly do alicorns need to balance? How did the Omnian's gain the knowledge Alicorns are tasked to keep secret?

Is this like a face melting holy grail type thing, or being unclean and stepping into a holy temple, dropping you dead in an instant? Or I guess in this case going mad.

The "You're just a figment of my imagination" line is very chilling. I could technically understand the need to slaughter a cult that is on the cusp of dropping some literal world ending knowledge, but for some reason that one quote is worse than the slaughter. It feels incredibly malevolent even though you describe the seraphim as having said it without ego. It's just telling the truth no matter how much that truth may hurt the one hearing it. It couldn't have been said out of love. The neutrality of it is what makes it so confusing and off putting. It's like knowing the difference between being cared for out of compassion vs being "maintained".
Not necessarily horror but it certainly does not generate happy feelings... But anyway great story!
#24957 ·
· on A Crime Against the Humanities
Its like you paused a video on the exact moment she cracked. I really like this. It's just Rarity making a silly face but for some reason using the medium of chalk in tandem with the black background gives it the slightest unsettling vibe.
#24939 ·
· on How I met my spouse. · >>libertydude
I know nothing about Optimalverse so I feel really lost about this story. Forgive my ignorance.

He wanted to be closer, but Dominic knew in his heart that Kyle didn't see him that way. Ex-girlfriend and all, plus Princess CelestAI sort of hinted at so. Currently he was with another called Princess Cadence who was helping him, well... her, get ready as Cookie tonight. To be the person in pony pad would be a dream come true.

I can't quite tell how much information Dominic knows. But I think the CelestAI isn't being totally honest about these people who turn into ponies. At the same time I honestly don't understand why she's being dishonest. It seems both Dominic and Kyle have mutual feelings towards each other.
#24937 ·
· on Five Hundred Little Zombies
“Dalmatian at 3:00" Should have been Dalmation at 1:01 but oh well. I like the core idea but I feel like you limited yourself by tying your idea up to another story. Lucky for you Five Hundred Little Murders is a super popular fic but imagine someone who hadn't heard of it before? I hadn't heard of it until Hombind name dropped the title.
I honestly think a story about Fluttershy instructing Ponyville on how to stop an oncoming horde of zombie animals crawling out of the Everfree because she has experience in that area would have been just as good without running that risk.
#24936 · 2
· on Division Bell · >>KwirkyJ
I really like this one. I feel sorry for Luna. It's clear the thousand year wait has ravaged her anger and left her full of guilt. She's ready to throw in the towel. I hope in this alternate reality she's able to get what she wants.
#24935 · 1
· on Heavenly Bodies · >>libertydude
My first thought was "WaitI thought Clover was a stallion". But that's unimportant. This feels like a small bit of a much bigger story that I wish existed as I would totally read it. The princesses coming from space in a mysterious meteor sounds like some pretty nifty headcanon. I also appreciate the emotional complexity of the scenario in regards to Clover and Cosmos in what needed to be sacrificed to save Equestria.
#24926 ·
· · >>Winston >>KwirkyJ
Wot does TBD meanz?
#24851 · 1
· on Sloom

Omg I just realized you commented on your own fic.....


Clever girl.
#24847 · 1
· on Sloom · >>PinoyPony
Congrats to you for winning! This was a fun experience. Albeit the initial writing part was kind of stressful to me. I can see myself getting the stride quicker next go around.
#24844 · 2
· on Don't Ask Me Where I Got This · >>GroaningGreyAgony
That sounds like a sex toy company.
Well I can't tell people how to enjoy their desserts...
Great picture by the way!
#24843 · 2
· on Halfway Point · >>GroaningGreyAgony
I like how moody this looks. I don't know any big cool art words but this sets a nice prologue-ish image of "Bornite" finding her hiding place. A sad scruffy looking port town that, as we know from reading the story, has its own color and happy ponies living within. But this poor mare is too stuck in her failed past to recognize future potential.
#24841 · 1
· on Sloom · >>PinoyPony
Muwahaha see I didn't mess up on this story like I did on the fragments fic. I figured it was Marble Pie the moment she started musing about her lost opportunity at love. When talking to Ryolite, the description of her cutie mark, and the character's shy behavior also made it pretty clear who this was. But I was interested in the name change angle. Indeed it seems Marble has been hung up on her lost love opportunity for several years.

As Rao said, the title is well picked considering Marble has essentially decided to not pursue her desire for love, and instead seemingly sulk the rest of her life away. I'd imagine she probably hasn't been in this port town for super long. Maybe around the time Big Mac got married. Granted we never know how old foals are in this show, or anyone for that matter.

I have to admit I felt a bit daunted by the word count. Going in cold with no descriptions on these things makes it hard to brace myself. But this was a nice story about family-friendship bonds and how we should always try to be there for one another.
#24837 · 1
· on My Fragments Shored Against My Ruin
So the story is actually about Daybreaker? Well color me fooled. I figured this was some alternate interpretation of events. But I never thought it was a completely different set of events. So in my mind I was locked into what was canon and slightly alternate versions of canon. To me everything about the story screams Discord.

I never would have assumed this is a pre Celestia origin story and Discord is a good guy. Now I wonder where Luna is. I assumed this was a reformed Discord who had backslid into evil and had to be petrified again. Oops.

But now the white fur thing makes a heck of a lot more sense. Daybreaker's design is so ugly I kinda forgot that alt version of Celestia ever existed.
#24834 · 1
· on My Fragments Shored Against My Ruin · >>GroaningGreyAgony
Pretty cool fic. But I have a hang up with it. Firstly I feel like the prompt gets lost within this story, this freakin horror story about Discord falling apart over eons and not being able to do anything about it. Like being rendered paralyzed by venom as it slowly kills you or something. In that case this story is very well written, but I by the time it was over I forgot what the prompt was.

The passage of time beat down Discord's wrath and that is because Celestia and Luna turned him to stone. And then he was reincarnated. as an adorable white kitten. My first thought was "did he just get reborn as Celestia?" But that wouldn't make sense she isn't the only thing that can have white fur. So that's a mystery.

I suppose the idea is Discord's punishment had an almost divine element of foresight ingrained into it. Over the millennia his soul was filtered by the planet and cleansed and technically he's been given a second chance. I just loose what that all has to do with friendship. Is friendship enough? Yes? No? By the point of his reincarnation does it matter? I sadly can't tell.
#24833 · 1
· on Fake Your Depth
First thing. I really do like the poetry.

Second thing. I kind of understand Lyra's issues yet at the same time I don't understand them at all. I know what its like to try and appear fun and witty around acquaintances only to say something awkward. And have that moment linger with me for days. But I have never suffered impostor syndrome and honestly I wish I knew why you went with that. At first I figured it was some kind of meta about how the fandom depicts Lyra as a fun goofy mare who is fun to be around, but her "canon" self is rather plain and boring while BonBon is the whacky one. But I could be overthinking it.

Third thing. How well does this story go with the prompt? Fairly well I think. If the impostor syndrome is a mental health issue then BonBon is a really good friend for sticking by Lyra's side but the prompt "will friendship be enough" seems almost a second thought in this story as BonBon's declaration to stand by Lyra despite her issues comes at the very end, and no friendship was really challenged or tested. BonBon is resolute the entire time.

But to refute myself, looking at this from Lyra's perspective I suppose its BonBon's friendship that keeps her from falling all the way into despair. In which case that is a good use of the prompt.
Paging WIP