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Rainbow Dash Can't Make Skeleton Jokes to Save Her Life
Applejack smashed a pie into the skeleton pirate’s face. “These fellas sure—ungh!— have a bone to pick with us!” Pinkie jumped onto the springboard, launching two cupcakes high into the air. Rainbow Dash did a backflip and kicked the pastries directly into the sockets of another skeleton, who clattered in pain and fell to the ground.
“I know, right?” said Twilight, who was busy stuffing black powder into a fresh batch of peach scones. “I don’t what’s gotten into these numbskulls for them to attack us like this!”
Fluttershy frowned under the light of the full moon. “I hope we won’t need to use the Elements against this skeleton crew…”
“Fluttershy, dear,” admonished Rarity, who found herself surrounded by five lanky skeletons, “I think that the six of us are more than capable of besting these boneheads!” Jumping to her hooves, Rarity executed the Roundhouse Whirlwind Maneuver™, sending the skeletons flying off in separate directions.
“Look!” cried Pinkie, pointing dramatically at a spot just over the horizon. “It’s Spike! And he’s brought custard danishes!”
Sure enough, a whelp was waddling wearily with waxing wheezes. Twilight rolled her eyes and concentrated. With a loud pop, the dragon fell a full foot forward, feeling friction form. In a flash, he stood up and threw the desserts at Twilight, who caught them and began their rapid discharge.
“For a bunch of spooky bones, these guys sure are spineless!” Pinkie giggled.
“Heh, yeah!” said Rainbow Dash. “They’re so brain-dead!”
Applejack stopped and winced. “Those are zombies, Rainbow.” She bent over the remains of one of the skeletons and stuck a few bones into the skull.
“Boooo…” said Fluttershy, shaking her head.
“W-well… skeletons don’t have brains either, do they?!” Rainbow Dash held up both hooves and leaned back. “Sheesh!”
“Girls.” Twilight gave them all a fixed stare. “Can we get back to the bags of bones that are trying to destroy us? Nnngh!” She blasted a beam of magic at an advancing anatomical assembly, which promptly crumbled into dust and a gratuitous amount of teeth.
Fluttershy sighed. “Well, it’s true, Rainbow Dash. That wasn’t even close to being a good joke, let alone an insult.”
“H-hey!” Rainbow snorted. “There’s no way you have a good one, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy winked at Twilight, who transformed her into a small leg bone. “You’re right, but at least I know how tibia little humerus.” Pinkie looked on with a bag of popcorn as Rainbow Dash sputtered in anger and Twilight cancelled the spell.
“Besides!” said Pinkie, gnawing. “It’s good self-defense! How do you think we’ve been able to keep fighting these walking keys?”
“Pinkie’s right, Rainbow Dash. Apart from magical laser beams shooting out of my head, it’s the only thing that gets under their skin.” Twilight blinked. “Which, you know, is quite a feat in and of itself.”
“Not to break up this delightful palaver,” interjected Rarity, performing several well-placed hoof-to-neck chops, “but would somepony be so kind as to throw me a bone here?” Fluttershy flew over and Stared at several of the bare-bones pirates, who clattered to the ground.
Applejack finished her assembly of part of the skeleton, and, with a melancholy expression, she played the Sad Trombone Four Note Symphony™. Four of the ponies chuckled.
Rainbow Dash did not. “Come on, guys! I’m not that bad at skeleton jokes, am I?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. You’re wurst than the skeletons, though.”
“Hahaha! Now that,” said Twilight, nodding at Fluttershy, “was a bonafide pun.”
“Hmm…” Rarity tilted her head aside as Pinkie plowed through another row of skeletons. “I’m not sure I agree; it didn’t seem fleshed out enough.”
Ignoring Rainbow’s temper tempest trantrum, the remaining ponies staved off another wall of pirate skeletons with nary an eyelash batted.
“Ha!” cried Rainbow Dash. “These pirates suck!”
Everypony—even the skeletons—paused to glare at the pegasus. Applejack cleared her throat.
“Yeah, y’all can take her,” she addressed the pirate skeletons.
They brandished their weapons and charged. Rainbow Dash gulped and bolted.
“I know, right?” said Twilight, who was busy stuffing black powder into a fresh batch of peach scones. “I don’t what’s gotten into these numbskulls for them to attack us like this!”
Fluttershy frowned under the light of the full moon. “I hope we won’t need to use the Elements against this skeleton crew…”
“Fluttershy, dear,” admonished Rarity, who found herself surrounded by five lanky skeletons, “I think that the six of us are more than capable of besting these boneheads!” Jumping to her hooves, Rarity executed the Roundhouse Whirlwind Maneuver™, sending the skeletons flying off in separate directions.
“Look!” cried Pinkie, pointing dramatically at a spot just over the horizon. “It’s Spike! And he’s brought custard danishes!”
Sure enough, a whelp was waddling wearily with waxing wheezes. Twilight rolled her eyes and concentrated. With a loud pop, the dragon fell a full foot forward, feeling friction form. In a flash, he stood up and threw the desserts at Twilight, who caught them and began their rapid discharge.
“For a bunch of spooky bones, these guys sure are spineless!” Pinkie giggled.
“Heh, yeah!” said Rainbow Dash. “They’re so brain-dead!”
Applejack stopped and winced. “Those are zombies, Rainbow.” She bent over the remains of one of the skeletons and stuck a few bones into the skull.
“Boooo…” said Fluttershy, shaking her head.
“W-well… skeletons don’t have brains either, do they?!” Rainbow Dash held up both hooves and leaned back. “Sheesh!”
“Girls.” Twilight gave them all a fixed stare. “Can we get back to the bags of bones that are trying to destroy us? Nnngh!” She blasted a beam of magic at an advancing anatomical assembly, which promptly crumbled into dust and a gratuitous amount of teeth.
Fluttershy sighed. “Well, it’s true, Rainbow Dash. That wasn’t even close to being a good joke, let alone an insult.”
“H-hey!” Rainbow snorted. “There’s no way you have a good one, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy winked at Twilight, who transformed her into a small leg bone. “You’re right, but at least I know how tibia little humerus.” Pinkie looked on with a bag of popcorn as Rainbow Dash sputtered in anger and Twilight cancelled the spell.
“Besides!” said Pinkie, gnawing. “It’s good self-defense! How do you think we’ve been able to keep fighting these walking keys?”
“Pinkie’s right, Rainbow Dash. Apart from magical laser beams shooting out of my head, it’s the only thing that gets under their skin.” Twilight blinked. “Which, you know, is quite a feat in and of itself.”
“Not to break up this delightful palaver,” interjected Rarity, performing several well-placed hoof-to-neck chops, “but would somepony be so kind as to throw me a bone here?” Fluttershy flew over and Stared at several of the bare-bones pirates, who clattered to the ground.
Applejack finished her assembly of part of the skeleton, and, with a melancholy expression, she played the Sad Trombone Four Note Symphony™. Four of the ponies chuckled.
Rainbow Dash did not. “Come on, guys! I’m not that bad at skeleton jokes, am I?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. You’re wurst than the skeletons, though.”
“Hahaha! Now that,” said Twilight, nodding at Fluttershy, “was a bonafide pun.”
“Hmm…” Rarity tilted her head aside as Pinkie plowed through another row of skeletons. “I’m not sure I agree; it didn’t seem fleshed out enough.”
Ignoring Rainbow’s temper tempest trantrum, the remaining ponies staved off another wall of pirate skeletons with nary an eyelash batted.
“Ha!” cried Rainbow Dash. “These pirates suck!”
Everypony—even the skeletons—paused to glare at the pegasus. Applejack cleared her throat.
“Yeah, y’all can take her,” she addressed the pirate skeletons.
They brandished their weapons and charged. Rainbow Dash gulped and bolted.