Twilight Sparkle was the best ninja in Ninja High School.

She was quite sure of this. As she passed, all the other students fell silent, fingering their ku-nai with barely concealed jealousy. At least, kind of silent. They were ninjas so they were already quiet, but if they had been making noise they definitely would have stopped just to stare in envy at Twilight.

Today was going to prove that Twilight was the best, because today the midterm exam scores were published for the whole school to see. As Twilight approached the crowd of teenagers in black at the main stairwell, they parted to the left and right, watching her with sharp eyes. She could see lips moving underneath ninja masks, undoubtedly silently cursing her for making them look bad.

It wasn’t their appreciation that she wanted. No, first place meant something more. She would finally be noticed by Flash sem-pai! Celestia sen-sei would appear, probably in a cloud of smoke, to fondly pat her on the head! And she would have another line for her application for the prestigious Ninja Higher Learning University!

Yes, Twilight had been waiting for this day for a long time. She lifted her head high, readjusted the hitai-ate on her forehead, and stepped forward. Her eyes went to the top of the list, printed, of course, in kata-kana.

And then she blinked. She looked over to the side to confirm she was looking at the right grade level. She glanced back.

It took a good thirty seconds before her eyes drifted down where her name was printed at number two.

---

Twilight slammed the shō-ji door open to her classroom with such force that several of the students inside reacted with alarm, using nin-jutsu to vanish and leave behind an inexplicable log.

There was no teacher anywhere in sight, which meant either that it was study hall or Advanced Stealth. Ninja High School could be pretty confusing, given the class schedules were only kept as classified information in a heavily-trapped secret room somewhere on campus.

Twilight headed over to her two least-disposable human assets. Good ninjas couldn't afford to have real 'friends'.

Applejack was carefully pruning the branches of an apple bon-sai. Next to her, Rarity had forgone the traditional ninja garb for that of a gei-sha in elaborate ki-mono – which didn’t really indicate that it was disguise class as much as it indicated that Rarity was a pretty crappy ninja. She kneeled on a ta-tami mat, dedicating herself to the mastery of the wa-bi and sa-bi of classic tea cere-mony.

“Na-kama!” Twilight said. “There has been a great injustice that we must right!”

Rarity slowly stood and bowed. Applejack shrugged, snipping off a tiny branch.

“There has been a mistake with the exam scores! I've never even heard of this… Furatā-shai?”

“You mean the girl that sits behind you?” Applejack asked.

“No one sits behind me.” Twilight gestured back, only to realize the desk she was pointing at had someone in it. “Huh?”

Rarity inclined her head. “She’s rather good, darling.”

Twilight stomped over as threateningly as she could while wearing ta-bi, glaring at the girl. “You! I demand satisfaction. I challenge you to a ninja duel!”

The girl eeped, sitting up straight and shaking like a leaf.

A cold grin crossed Twilight’s face. “To the death. I will allow you to choose the time, place, and manner of— erk.”

Twilight reached up to feel the dart protruding out of her neck. She turned to see a small white bunny put away his blowgun and duck back into the ceiling, replacing the ceiling tile.

She turned back to Fluttershy, already starting to see spots in her vision. “This… this is a most dishonorable attack.” She fell to her knees, coughing. “I... You... You really are a good ninja,” she choked out in annoyance.

Fluttershy tried to make herself as small as possible, hiding behind her pink hair.

The door slammed open again. Another Twilight Sparkle rushed in, her eyes lighting up as she looked around. “There you girls are! Okay, you’re not going to believe me, but I’m actually a pony princess, here to find a person known as Sunset—”

She stopped, having almost tripped over the first Twilight Sparkle, who was drooling on the floor as her face rapidly turned green.

Twilight looked at the body. She looked up at Fluttershy, who blushed.

“On second thought,” Twilight said. “Screw this, I'm going home. Celestia can get her own damn tiara back.”