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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
Harrowing Irony
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“…”
"..."
“So… what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. I know you want to gripe about it, so just tell me.”
“If you must know, Rarity decided that I needed a bath.”
“Ooh… I guess that must have not gone over well.”
“No. It didn’t. I do not regret scratching her face.”
“You do look cleaner, at least.”
“Cleaner? Cleaner is what happens when I use my tongue. I have no idea why she thinks soap will make me cleaner. I can still taste the suds - Blech.”
“It makes me cleaner when Applejack gives me a bath.”
“You just like it so that you can play in the water.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything?”
“You have no idea how awful the water feels on my fur. You go in the water for fun.”
“That’s because it is!”
“It is not. Besides, we are entitled to different opinions - you like it, I don’t.”
“Okay!”
“...”
“...”
“I don’t know why I even bother talking to you…”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“Do you mean that bath that Rarity gave you earlier?”
“Wha- how do you know about that?”
“I have my ways.”
“You mean you have really good hearing.”
“Who?”
“Yes, you.”
“Who?”
“...”
“Who?”
“I am not getting wrapped up in this again. Find someone else to play your trick on.”
“Who?”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“If you don’t get out of here right now, I’m throwing this carrot at you!”
“But it was simply awful, darling!”
“I am not your darling, and I don’t want to hear it! Out!”
“But you-”
“No!”
“I-”
“Absolutely not!”
“...”
“I mean it!”
“Fine! Be that way!”
“I will, thank you very much for your recommendation.”
“…”
“And don’t come back!”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“…”
“Ahem… I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“…”
“Could you at least pretend to care?”
“...I’m a bit busy for that.”
“You’re napping.”
“...and as Rainbow Dash says, naps are the power of the universe.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“...”
“Seriously? You’re just going to ignore me?”
“...”
“Well, I hope you know that that is very inconsiderate of you.”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“The most harrowing experience is the death of a loved one. For what is the most horrible thing but the end of a life? Destiny will not allow for regression, and all must eventually return to oblivion.”
“...”
“...”
“Why did I even bother?”
“The mind of any creature is a complex-”
“That was a rhetorical question.”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“Really? What happened?”
“I was giving Opal a bath - she had gotten dirty in the garden - and she clawed me! In the face!”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. It was a perfectly normal bath.”
“Well, she doesn’t exactly like baths in general.”
“Really? She’s certainly never told me that.”
“Rarity… animals don't exactly speak to ponies. I can only hear them because it's my special talent.”
“...”
“Besides, she is prone to dramatics, you know this.”
“Yes. You’re right darling, forgive me.”
“Was there… another reason you came all the way out to my cottage?”
“Um...”
“...”
“...”
“Do you want some tea?”
“Certainly, darling.”
“…”
"..."
“So… what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. I know you want to gripe about it, so just tell me.”
“If you must know, Rarity decided that I needed a bath.”
“Ooh… I guess that must have not gone over well.”
“No. It didn’t. I do not regret scratching her face.”
“You do look cleaner, at least.”
“Cleaner? Cleaner is what happens when I use my tongue. I have no idea why she thinks soap will make me cleaner. I can still taste the suds - Blech.”
“It makes me cleaner when Applejack gives me a bath.”
“You just like it so that you can play in the water.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything?”
“You have no idea how awful the water feels on my fur. You go in the water for fun.”
“That’s because it is!”
“It is not. Besides, we are entitled to different opinions - you like it, I don’t.”
“Okay!”
“...”
“...”
“I don’t know why I even bother talking to you…”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“Do you mean that bath that Rarity gave you earlier?”
“Wha- how do you know about that?”
“I have my ways.”
“You mean you have really good hearing.”
“Who?”
“Yes, you.”
“Who?”
“...”
“Who?”
“I am not getting wrapped up in this again. Find someone else to play your trick on.”
“Who?”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“If you don’t get out of here right now, I’m throwing this carrot at you!”
“But it was simply awful, darling!”
“I am not your darling, and I don’t want to hear it! Out!”
“But you-”
“No!”
“I-”
“Absolutely not!”
“...”
“I mean it!”
“Fine! Be that way!”
“I will, thank you very much for your recommendation.”
“…”
“And don’t come back!”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“…”
“Ahem… I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“…”
“Could you at least pretend to care?”
“...I’m a bit busy for that.”
“You’re napping.”
“...and as Rainbow Dash says, naps are the power of the universe.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“...”
“Seriously? You’re just going to ignore me?”
“...”
“Well, I hope you know that that is very inconsiderate of you.”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“The most harrowing experience is the death of a loved one. For what is the most horrible thing but the end of a life? Destiny will not allow for regression, and all must eventually return to oblivion.”
“...”
“...”
“Why did I even bother?”
“The mind of any creature is a complex-”
“That was a rhetorical question.”
“I just had the most harrowing experience!”
“Really? What happened?”
“I was giving Opal a bath - she had gotten dirty in the garden - and she clawed me! In the face!”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. It was a perfectly normal bath.”
“Well, she doesn’t exactly like baths in general.”
“Really? She’s certainly never told me that.”
“Rarity… animals don't exactly speak to ponies. I can only hear them because it's my special talent.”
“...”
“Besides, she is prone to dramatics, you know this.”
“Yes. You’re right darling, forgive me.”
“Was there… another reason you came all the way out to my cottage?”
“Um...”
“...”
“...”
“Do you want some tea?”
“Certainly, darling.”