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Things Left Unsaid · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
The FunCo-Brand ‘Moonwalk’ Bouncy Castle is Intended for Foals
By Sea Suite
President, FunCo Entertainment

Following last week’s widely publicized incident in Ponyville, I want to make something clear on behalf of FunCo Entertainment: the FunCo-brand ‘Moonwalk’ Bouncy Castle, along with similar devices manufactured by other vendors, is intended for foals ages 12 and under. Adult ponies who use bouncy castles place foals at risk and may cause damage to our product.

Of course, many of us have fond memories of using bouncy castles when we were small, and it is natural to want to relive those experiences during carnivals like the Summer Sun Celebration. However, as adults we have a responsibility to place the enjoyment of foals above our own. Additionally, there are significant safety concerns when full-grown ponies attempt to share the confined, energetic interior of a bouncy castle with foals only a fraction of their size.

Further, the vinyl lining of our ‘Moonwalk’ bouncy castle is designed with foals in mind. While some adult ponies such as pegasus mares may be light enough not to damage this sensitive surface, the same cannot be said for others. This especially applies to unicorns or alicorns with adult horns. Indeed, last week’s disaster could have been averted if only certain ponies had understood this point.

Finally, some ponies have asked why our products aren’t explicitly labelled “for foals only.” This ignores the large, clearly visible text above the entrance that reads “Fun for Foals of All Ages!” While certain pedantically minded ponies have argued that this phrasing is ‘unclear’ and ‘not logically exclusive,’ we believe its spirit to be universally understood. However, in the interest of preventing misunderstandings, we will clarify the sign’s language on future models of all FunCo-brand bouncy castles.

Bouncy Castles are Appropriate for Ponies of All Ages, Including 22-Year-Old Mares
By Twilight Sparkle

Imagine a world in which fun was banished.

“Impossible,” I hear you say. “Twilight Sparkle, that could never happen. Ponies cherish having fun and would never allow anypony to take that away from them.”

Or would they?

I won’t belabor the details of last week’s incident at the Summer Sun Celebration. We all know what happened. Suffice it to say that certain liability-minded corporate executives are wildly overreacting and advocating a course of action that, if implemented, would be the death knell for fun and enjoyment for everypony. If they have their way, nopony reading this letter will ever again enjoy the thrill and heady nostalgia of a bouncy castle.

“But Twilight,” you say. “Shouldn’t adult ponies enjoy other activities like reading books?” And of course we should. But just as books are suitable for both foals and adults, shouldn’t bouncy castles also be enjoyed by ponies of all ages? If I welcome foals into my library, why can’t FunCo Entertainment let me enjoy their product?

“But Twilight,” I hear you say. “Several foals had to be hospitalized after last week’s incident.” Well, dear reader, you are misinformed. The reality is that a few foals were seen by nurses at the Ponyville hospital to treat minor contusions and sprains, and all were promptly released to their parents. It’s no different than a mother bandaging her colt's skinned knee – tears, yes, but harmless. To call such treatment ‘hospitalization’ is a gross exaggeration and demeans this debate.

“But Twilight,” I hear you say again. “You broke the expensive bouncy castle the foals rented with their bake sale proceeds after just a few seconds of bouncing.” First, I have already offered to repay the school activities fund for their lost security deposit, and I gave all of the foals involved exciting "Library Action Passes" that will more than make up for any lost enjoyment on their part. Second, the structural failure of the bouncy castle was clearly the result of a design flaw on the manufacturer’s part, and not something anypony could have anticipated. In fact, I have already drafted a design for a ‘horn cap’ (patent-pending) that can be worn by adult unicorns or alicorns to prevent a repeat of last week’s incident.

Having put to rest all these concerns, I think we can now all agree that banning adult ponies from using bouncy castles would be a knee-jerk reaction, trading away our essential liberty for trifling, imagined safety. Are we that kind of society? Are we so fearful?

I think not, and I hope you will all agree.
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