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I Regret Nothing · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
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Because That's What Awesome Ponies Do
“Because I’m awesome,” Rainbow Dash said, taking another long drink of the sweet and warm hard cider Applejack had brought to the Gala. Her head felt light and dizzy. “And awesome ponies get to do whatever they want.”

“It’s just not proper!” Rarity said, making a face at her from across the table Dash and all her friends were sitting around in the Canterlot Castle banquet hall.

Dash rolled her eyes, and took the opportunity give Princess Luna another once over. Luna sat with her sister at a table on the other side of the hall. She looked lonely and tired. “Since when do I care about proper?”

“You’re gonna embarrass yourself,” Applejack said, sounding bored. “Again.”

“You’re going to embarrass me again,” Twilight groaned. “Didn’t you learn anything from last time?”

“Hey, the only reason Celestia said no was because she knows that you’ve had sunstroke ever since you first got a good look at that big yellow mark on her flanks.” Rainbow Dash stood up from her chair, and barely wobbled at all. “Unless you’re, like, star struck on Luna’s butt, too, I think I’ll be fine.”

“Rainbow,” Twilight begged, “please don’t do this.”

“Too late.” Dash stuck her tongue out at them and jumped up into the air and over the table. After the room got right side up again, Dash picked Luna out of the crowd and flew straight for her. Some stupid pony had put a buffet table and hanging chandelier in her way, but Dash knocked those over easily enough and landed with a somersault onto Celestia and Luna’s table.

“Heya, Princess!” she said, striking a pose. “How’s it going?”

Celestia and Luna exchanged a glance, and then Celestia smiled delicately and said, “Very well, thank you for asking, Rainbow Dash. But perhaps you should—”

“Blah blah blah, not talking to you,” Dash said, focusing on Luna. “You had your chance.”

Celestia’s eyes widened, but she kept quiet.

“So, Princess Luna!” Dash said, grinning and tilting her head to the side to stay balanced. “How’s it going?”

Luna stared blankly for a moment, probably struck dumb at receiving the attentions of a future Wonderbolt and Equestrian hero, and then cleared her throat and said, “I am doing w—”

“Blah blah blah, I don’t care about that, either.” Dash sauntered forward across the table, wiggling her hips attractively, and swept her hoof forward trying to get it around Luna’s neck. But somehow she missed, almost certainly due to a trick of the light, and her hoof only hit air. But she expertly caught herself from falling off the table. “So, Luna,” Dash said, lowering her voice and leaning forward, “word on the street is that you haven’t had a taste of tail since your return, and that's crazy, because, and let me lay some straight facts down on your lap here, you’re hot, you’re cool, and you’re way more fun than Princess Uptight Sunbutt over there.”

Luna blinked, her face expressionless. Celestia giggled.

“So here are some other facts,” Dash continued. “I’ve got two tickets to the Wonderbolt show this weekend and no pony to go with. I’ve also got the hottest flanks of anypony at this lame-o party. So whaddya say?”

For a long while, Luna didn’t say anything. And neither did anypony else. Dash realized that the banquet hall had gone completely silent except for Celestia’s giggling and a dull thump that was probably Twilight’s forehead hitting her table. Dash also realized that she was standing in a bowl of mashed potatoes. As the silence stretched on, sweat slipped down her forehead and she wondered if she had made a terrible mistake.

But Luna smiled. “That sounds wonderful. I’d love to go with you.”

“Sweet. We can hammer out the details later. See ya then.” Dash turned around to leave, but Luna touched her shoulder. “What’s up?”

Luna leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said.

“No problem.” Dash hopped off the table and went back to her friends.

“You are such an ass sometimes,” Rarity said when Dash sat back down.

“Yeah, well I bet I’m the first pony to ask her out in, like, a thousand years. How would you feel if everypony was too busy acting too ‘proper’ or nervous around you to ever ask you out on a date?” Dash said. “And if I’m an ass, then I’m an ass with a date with a princess. So yuck that up.”
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