“Girls, I'm so happy you could be here… In these, my final moments.”

The words wheezed out of Pinkie Pie's muzzle as she lay in her bed, surrounded by her five bestest-best friends. They were all taking her condition stoically, but she could see the sadness on their faces.

Rarity sighed “Of course dear. We're… happy to be here for you during these.. trying times.” The rest of the girls agreed with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“There are things... I wanted to tell you girls… Before I go.” She groaned in pain and discomfort. “Things I regret... Not saying sooner.”

Turning her head to face Applejack, she continued. “Applejack… Remember last week... when I said.. your apple dumplings… Were the bestest-best dumplings I've ever had?”

“Sure thing sugarcube.”

“I… I lied.” She sniffled a little. “They were only the third best dumplings I've ever had!”

“Well, shoot. That's, ah, mighty honest of you to say Pinkie.” Applejack glanced at her other four friends and shrugged uncertainly.

“Rarity...” Pinkie coughed and grunted. “Remember.. When I gave you those blueberry muffins… and told you the creamcheese icing was non-fat?”

Rarity's eyes opened wide. “You didn't!”

“I… I lied! I'm so sorry Rarity! But fat is what makes them so delicious!”

Rarity gasped, collapsing in shock. “My diet.. My figure! They're ruined!”

Pinkie sighed as Rarity's tears began to soak the floor. It hurt to see her friends in such pain, when her own would soon be passing.

“Rainbow… When I'm gone, I want you to take care of Gummy for me.” Pinkie whispered.

Rainbow scratched her head, looking puzzled. “Okay, sure thing Pinkie. But why me?”

“Because you're so good with reptiles, and Tank and Gummy are bestest-best friends.” She giggled slightly, ignoring the pain it caused her. “I'd ask Fluttershy to do it, but she's been really busy lately.

“Doing what?” Rainbow asked, glancing at her shy friend.

“Big Mac mostly. Behind the barn whenever nopony else is home.” Despite her pain she managed a happy little giggle.

"Eep!" Fluttershy's face immediately turned bright crimson, and she practically vanished as she zipped behind Twilight to hide. Applejack just sputtered in shock.

“Wha… Fluttershy and Big Mac? Together?” She shook her head in disbelief. “How could I have missed that?”

“Easy silly-filly! It's cause you've been gone so often doing the same thing with Rainbow Dash! You get reaaaaalllly distracted when she does that thing you love with her tongue...”

Now it was AJ's turn to turn crimson. “Ah… Ah don't know what yer talking about Pinkie!” Applejack lowered her hat, trying to hide her face. Pinkie just looked confused.

“You know? That thing where she uses her tongue to...”

“PINKIE!” Rainbow shrieked, interrupting her friend before she could go any further. The red stripe of her mane seemed to continue across her entire face.

Rarity's eyes were bright and sparkling, her diet forgotten. “Oh my! You girls have to fill me in on everything!” she sing-songed.

“Just… One more.. confession to make.” Pinkie continued, voice returning to it's previous somber, pain filled tone.

“Oh, for the love of Celestia… You're not dying Pinkie!” Twilight shouted. “It's just a stomach ache! Which you wouldn't have if you'd listened to us when we told you not to eat that sixth tray of cookies!”

“Pinkie sense… Twilight. Painful tummy… Can only mean.. One thing...” Poor Twilight. Hopefully she'd get past the denial stage of her grief soon.

“Anyway… My last confession….” Pinkie groaned. The pain was getting worse. Her time was near. “I.. I may have.. Accidentally… Gotten some batter... On the cook book I borrowed... from the library...”

“What.”

“And by some... I mean dropped it in a bowl of batter.”

“What.”

“And… Maybe.. Not noticed.. And.. Baked it into a cake?”

“What.”

Pinkie smiled sheepishly at her somewhat... deranged looking friend. It was good to see she'd made it past denial. Anger was the natural next stage of grief, right?

“Kinda ironic, right? I mean, a cook book getting co…. BUUUUUUUURRRRPP!" The sound that escaped Pinkie's muzzle was no mere belch. If anything, it was the Royal Canterlot Voice of belches.

“Wow! I feel sooooooo much better now!” Pinkie smiled, perking back up. “Maybe it was just a tummy ache and not my Pinkie Sense...”

Five sets of angry, embarrassed eyes glared back at her. Five sets of hooves held dangerously fluffy pillows.

“Nope. Definitely Pinkie Sense.” She squeaked nervously.

“Die!"

“Die!"

“Die!"

“Die!"

Die! Please, if it's not too much trouble...”