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Look, I Can Explain... · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
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You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin
“What do you mean, you didn’t do this?”

Outside, Ponyville was in a state it had not seen since Discord had first broken out of his stone prison. The air was filled with a constant cacophony as birds blew noisemakers instead of tweeting. Most unnatural of all was the stone gray earth pony sitting in the center of town, wearing a wide smile upon her face. And topping off the chaos storm, hanging in the sky was nothing other than cotton candy clouds raining down their signature chocolate milk on whoever was unfortunate enough to be below them.

“How many times do I have to repeat this?” Suddenly Discord was wearing a suit and tie. “Read my lips: I did not have chaotic relations with this town… today.”

“Well then, do you have any idea what’s going on?”

“I can’t say for sure but, I first noticed something weird while I was having tea with Fluttershy...”



Discord stared down at his place setting. There was his teacup, filled with , and next to it sat a plate with some biscuits and crumpets. The uncanniness of it unsettled the draconequus.

“... and then I said ‘I’d like to be a tree.’ I have no idea what I was thinking, even if I thought they wanted me to be a tree. What’s even more surprising is I think they bought it. I have no idea how they thought I wish I was a tree.”

“Oh how ridiculous of them Fluttershy. Do go on.”

“Fluttershy?”

When the yellow mare still did not continue, Discord looked up from the battle between the biscuit stallions of the western plate and the crumpet lions of teacup hill. In Fluttershy’s place was a small tree, just barely fitting into the cottage, with yellow bark and pink leaves. A small white rabbit jumped up on to the table and immediately began glaring at Discord.

“Are you accusing me? I had nothing to do with this, dear Fluttershy explicitly said she didn’t want to be a tree. I guess I should probably fix it though.” And Discord snapped his tail, and yet nothing. Taking a closer look at Fluttertree, he quickly realized the problem- she was already under the effect of a chaos spell, so attempting to cast another wouldn’t do anything. A second snap, and the chaos was removed.



“What do you mean, she was already enchanted with chaos magic?”

“Hey don’t interrupt! I didn’t finish my story."



Suddenly thunder cracked outside and chocolate rain fell past the windows. The melodic tweeting of birds outside Fluttershy’s cottage became a barrage of noisemakers. Finally, he was summoned by an angry pony princess.



“And now I’m done.”

Twilight glared at the draconequus. “Fluttershy was already enchanted with chaos magic?”

“Yes. Nothing I cast, and as far as I know there aren’t any other draconequi in Equestria. If there is one, they’re probably in Ponyville, but I can’t really sense anything with all the chaos already there.”

“So you have no idea who’s behind this?”

“No. But I can point you in the direction of a certain pony who I believe is at least indirectly responsible for ripping off my clouds though. It’s not chaos if you don’t add a new twist,” he concluded grumpily.

Discord vanished, and a floating arrow appeared in his place, pointing into town. Twilight trotted in it’s direction until she spotted Pinkie. The pink party pony was, much like last time,standing mouth wide open under a cotton candy cloud, inhaling its chocolate milk rain.

“Pinkie! Come on, we need to find the girls and fix this!”

“Fix what?” asked Pinkie, jumping out from under the cloud.

Twilight look around at the chaos covered Ponyville. “Do you really need to ask Pinkie?”

“Yuperoonie. I don’t see any problems, Ponyville is one giant party. Except we don’t have party games. I wish there were games!” Suddenly mannequins popped up all over the town, alongside blindfolds and baskets of tails. A giant barrel filled with apples came into being in the center of the town square, but was overshadowed by the appearance of a massive stage, with a karaoke machine upon it.

As Twilight stared mouth agape at what just happened, Pinkie tapped her chin in thought. “Hmmm, I still feel like something’s missing.” Twilight blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she saw not Ponyville but Cakeville. All the trees, all the building, and even Pinkie were made out cake. “Oh yeah, cake!”

“Wha… Uh… Pinkie, what did you just do? How?”

“I made games! By wishing!”

“And the cake?”

“Um, pretty sure that wasn’t me.”



Luna had a very rude awakening when her guards started screaming outside her door, and immediately lept up from her bed and out of her room. She was not going to repeat what had happened during the changeling invasion.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?” she yelled with her Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice.

Looking at the solar guards stationed outside her room, she quickly realized she needed no explanation, for their armor had become none other than a plain golden cake with colored icing sketching out any necessary detail. As for the guards themselves, they appeared to be angels food cake with simple vanilla frosting. Looking down at herself, instead of fur she saw an extremely dark chocolate glaze. The walls themselves appeared to be made of sponge cake blocks.

Immediately she lit her chocolate ice cream cone horn and teleported to the throne room. What she discovered there terrified her. Half the throne was gone, large bite marks embedded in its remains. Similar destruction covered the rest of the room. As she gazed at a trumpet with its mouthpiece bitten off at the floor, she could only hope any ponies had avoided what caused this devastation. She followed the trail until she came upon her sister.

“Sister, have you any idea what caused this?”

Celestia turned around at the sound of her sister’s voice. Luna saw the alicorn of the sun swallow, and then begin to advance towards her.

“Sister?”



“Now Twilight, why don’t you relax? Oooh, let’s sing a song.”

“Pinkie, we don’t have time for a song right now.”

“I wish we did!”

One rendition of Sapphire’s Shores’ “Get Your Pony On” later, Twilight exclaimed, “Pinkie, what just happened?”

The party pony was not paying attention, and was instead sniffing herself, perhaps just noticing she too was made out of cake. “Twilight, I smell delicious. Can I eat me?”

“NO! We need to fix this before someone gets eaten.”

“Okie dokie lokie. I wish everything was no longer made of cake anymore. Except cakes of course. And cupcakes. Oooh, I bet cake cookies taste delicious, exclude those too. Oh and-”

Pinkie’s train of delectable cake-based treats was cut off by Twilight’s hoof. “I think that’s good Pinkie.” And lo and behold, everything was back to not cake- thankfully before Pinkie could eat Twilight’s hoof. “Now Pinkie, what is going on?”

“Everything I wish for comes true! So I made the ultimate Ponyville party! I even made cotton candy rainclouds for everyone.”

“So you’re responsible for this?”

“Yuperoonie.”

“So now you’re going to clean it up.”

“Why? It’s a party! A Pinkie Party”

“Except to the point where everyone thinks Discord has unreformed again.”

“Awwwhhh… fine. I wish all my wishes were unwished.”

And with that, the party games and the cotton candy clouds disappeared. The clamor of noisemakers became a refrain of tweeting birds. Ponies, noticing the chaos was finally over, started to emerge from their homes.

“Now then. Do you have any idea how your wishes are coming true, Pinkie?”

“Nope!”

Mayor Mare trotted up to Twilight. “Pardon my intrusion Princess, but what’s this about wishes?”

“Oh, Pinkie just went overboard creating a party using wishes, somehow.”

A mare from the crowd cried out, “Wait, the chaos was all Pinkie’s fault?”

The crowd all turned and glared angrily at Pinkie.

Pinkie’s eyes darted back and forth across the crowd. “I wish it was another pony’s fault?”

“Rainbow, I really have no idea what you were thinking. I thought parties were Pinkie’s thing,” Twilight scolded.

Rainbow Dash looked around at all the ponies scowling at her. “I, uh, how did I get here? I was just flying with the Wonderbolts a second ago.”

“With the Wonderbolts?”

“Yeah, funny thing. This morning I was saying how I wished I was a Wonderbolt, and then Spitfire suddenly shows up and says I’m in. I mean, I knew it was coming, but I didn’t think it would just be out of the blue like that, ya know.”

Twilight shook her head and sighed. “We’ll talk about this more later, we need to fix this wishing first. I really hope this is limited to Ponyville, and not causing trouble anywhere else.”



“YOU TRIED TO EAT ME!”

“Luna, how many times must I apologize? I couldn’t resist. You were made out of devil’s food cake!”

“EAT ME!”

“Luna, you know how I am arou-”

"EAT ME!

“Ok Luna, at least please stop shouting THAT. There’s been some rumors-”

“I knew it!”

Luna turned around to look at the intruder. The stallion flinched.

“I wasn’t supposed to hear that was I? I won’t say anything, please don’t send me to the moon!”

Luna turned back to Celestia. “Tia, even the commoners know about your cake problem!”

“Actually, I was talking about…”

Luna turned back to the stallion. “About what?”

“About… about….” Luna glared at the pony, who cringed and folded back his ears. The stallion finally managed to squeak out, in a voice to rival Fluttershy’s, “Princest is wincest?”

“I… What?”

Celestia quickly intervened. “I assure you, my little pony, those rumours are not true.”

“Awh. I wish they were, I really could’ve used the money from that bet with Blueblood.”



Turning to the crowd, Twilight announced, “Everyone, please return to your normal lives. And please don’t make wishes, we have no idea what might happen right now.” The assembled ponies dispersed, but not without a quiet mumbling coming from throughout the herd. “Come on Rainbow, we need to find the girls and figure out what’s going on with this whole wishing business.”

“Wait, if wishes come true, couldn’t we just say ‘I wish Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity were here’?” True to form, Rainbow’s wish came true, with four mares appearing next to Twilight and Rainbow.

“Rainbow, did you not hear what I just said?”

“Hey, it worked… wait, who are you?”

“Surprise!”

While Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity had all appeared as expected (except nopony had expected Rarity to be wearing a Radiance costume), the fourth pony that had been summoned was not a pink party pony but a yellow-maned white Wonderbolt.

“Who do you think I am, Dashie?”

“You aren’t any Wonderbolt I recognize, and I know them all. You kinda sound like… Pinkie?”

“Yuperoonie! Something must’ve happened when I switched us- ImeanwhenIwishedIwasaWonderbolt.”

Rainbow stared at Pinkie. “Pinkie, what was that about switching?”

“Hey, Rarity’s in a Radiance costume. Let’s talk about that.”

“You made me take-”

“Rarity, why are you dressed as Radiance?” Twilight inquired, taking Pinkie’s bait.

“Spike, I think. I was working in my boutique, then suddenly I was somewhere else, dressed as Radiance, and surrounded by hills of ice cream and gems. Spike was there, but he was larger than normal. He looked down at me in shock and ran off shouting, something about not being greedy and giving away wishes.”

“Ooooh, Spike’s the one giving away wishes? We should thank him. I wish Spike was here!”

“Pinkie!”

On cue, one ice-cream-coated baby dragon appeared, his stomach bulging from all the ice cream he had eaten.

“Spike, didn’t you learn your lesson about eating too much ice cream before?” chided Twilight.

“That was before I could do this,” Spike replied. “I wish my tummy was empty!” Spike’s stomach immediately returned to its normal size.

“And how did you do that, Spike?” asked Twilight.

“Oh, I traded a bunch of lamps to some kind of draconequus-genie for wishes.”

“What?”

“Well you see…”



Spike stared into the bubbles floating in his new lava lamp. One of the best perks of finally having his own room in the crystal castle was being able to choose how to decorate it himself.

“Oooh, cool lamp.”

Spike perked up at the unexpected compliment. “Thanks.” Spike looked around, but found himself alone. “Um, hello? Is someone here?”

Two orange eyes dotted with green pupils formed themselves out of bubble in the lamp. Soon the rest of the face followed, with what appeared to be a giant ant feeler atop the head on one side, and what looked like a more gently curved feeler on the right, only the lump on the end appeared to be glowing. The draconequus jumped out of the lamp and to the ground beside Spike, revealing the arms of a monkey and a diamond dog on the right and left respectively, with the legs of some large spotted cat and a large tentacle supporting him. A massive shark fin jutted out of his back, and there was a round not-so-little rabbit tail behind him.

“I’ll trade you three wishes for it,” stated the newcomer.

“Three wishes?” inquired Spike.

“Well I am a genie now. A lamp is three wishes.”

“Umm, I’m pretty sure that genies live in lamps and just give you three wishes when you find them.”

“Bah! How would living in a lamp work? Stay in the bulb and get blinded every time it turns on?”

Spike shrugged. “I guess you’ve got a point. What did you mean, that you’re a genie now?

Well, I wasn’t always a genie. One day I was waiting for the nice lady to come give me some food- I was hoping for tuna, I love tuna- and suddenly it was like a crack opened up in reality, and I fell through. When I awoke, I was like this. I was free, with nobody watching me, had a round tail, and possessed phenomenal cosmic power. Since I had a round tail, I concluded I must be genie.”

“So, you’re a genie because of the round tail? Not the phenomenal cosmic power?”

“What does that have to with being a genie?”

Spike just stared. Shaking his head, he asked, “If I take the wishes, are you going to twist them into being horrible?”

“Why would I do that? If I traded you for the lamp, and then made the wishes terrible, who would trade me their lamps for wishes after that? I may have an octopus tentacle but I know basic ecology.”

“You mean economics?”

“Nope. Ecology.”

Spike recovered more quickly this time. “Ok, I’ll take the three wishes.” And with that Spike handed the draconequus his new lamp.

“First, I’ll take a pile of gems as big as a house.”

The draconequus clapped together its paws twice, and Spike’s wish was granted. As Spike drooled at the pile, the ‘genie’ commented, “Two wishes left. Unless you have another lamp to trade.”

“Wait, you’ll take multiple lamps from one pony?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Can I wish for more lamps?”

“No rule against it.”

“I’ll take one thousand lamps please?”

The draconequus stared at Spike. “And what’s the magic word?”

“I said please.”

“I meant kumquat. And if you want the wish, you have to say I wish.”

Spike, already long acquainted with Pinkie Pie, was already growing accustomed to the draconequus’s non-sequiturs, and as such immediately exclaimed, “I wish for a thousand lamps!” The lamps requested immediately appeared. Spike then followed up on the second half of his plan, “And I’d like to trade these lamps for three thousand wishes.”

“Done,” said the draconequus.

“Why do you want all these lamps anyway?”

“How else am I going to see in the light?”



“After that everything is a bit of a blur,” confessed Spike. “I think I was beginning another greed growth from all the wishes, because the next thing I remember is…”



“I wish for the Rarity-Radiance-ice-cream dream to come true!” exclaimed a teenage-sized dragon.

Spike looked up expecting to see the masked face of his beloved, but only saw a massive pile of ice cream. He looked down, and was shocked to see Rarity. ‘I’m bigger,’ he thought. ‘How?’

“Spike?” said the befuddled Rarity. “What’s going on?”

‘Oh no, if she sees me like this again she’ll think I’m greedy and a bad dragon!’ Spike thought. “I’m not greedy I’m going to share everyone can wish!” Spike shouted as he bolted.

Spike ran until he was breathless. As soon as he got his second wind, Spike made good on his rapidly constructed promise. “Hey, can I share my wishes with everypony?” Spike asked, seemingly to empty air.

“You can if you wish it,” the air answered.

“I wish anypony could use my wishes,” wished Spike. As soon as the last word was out of his mouth, he immediately shrunk back to his normal size. He returned to where he had left Rarity, but the costumed mare had already left. ‘Oh well, still plenty of ice cream,’ thought Spike, who proceeded to dig in with reckless abandon.



“And then I had ice cream until I was here,” stated Spike.

Twilight sighed. “Well that explains this whole wish business. Do you have any idea where the ‘genie’ is now Spike?”

“You ponies are so unobservant. I’m right here!” came a voice from nowhere in particular.

Twilight put her hoof to her chest breathing in, then waved it out while breathing out as Cadance taught her. She had a feeling that dealing with this draconequus was going to be more trying than dealing with Discord.

“You said that you fell through a crack in reality?”

“I think I did. Either that or I stubbed my foot and imagined it. It’s hard to be sure which.”

“Was this about a month ago?”

“That would look about right.”

“Ok then, you’re probably from the other side of the mirror. If you’ll just come with me we’ll get you home.”

“Nah.”

“Nah?”

“I don’t want to go back. It’s hard to find someone willing to talk there.”

“It can’t be that bad. You just need to be friendly. And maybe tone it down a little.”

“No.”

“I have a friend, Sunset Shimmer, on the other side. She’ll help you get home and I’m certain she’ll be willing to be your friend and talk to you.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to go back.” Under her breath Twilight added, “If mainly for the sake of my sanity.”

“You’re going to chase me like those big men with the nets and needles, aren’t you?”

“I would if I could see you,” Twilight muttered.

“Have to smell me first!”

“I wish you would just cooperate!”

“Very well then. Where are we going exactly?”

Twilight simply stood there, shocked by the sudden change in behaviour. Finally realizing what just happened, she just shook her head.

“Ok girls, I’ll lead him back to his world. Spike, go to your room in the castle and think about why you shouldn’t make deals with strange draconequi. And yes, that includes Discord.”



Twilight paused before entering the mirror. “Oh yeah, before we go through we should probably clean everything up. I wish that all previous wishes, other than my cooperation wish, were undone, and that you would not grant any more wishes after this one.”

“Done,” replied the draconequus.

“Okay, let’s get you to the other side.”

Twilight prepared herself for the disorientation that comes with crossing, and entered the mirror. Shortly after coming out the other side, she heard footsteps behind her.

“Now is it so bad here?” she asked turning around, only to find empty air. Looking down, she saw a short black and white bird waddling in her wake.

“Oh. Erm, I was going to find Sunset, but I guess I’ll find Fluttershy instead. She’ll love you, even if you do cause big messes. Although, I’m sure we managed to fix everything back in Equestria, at least.”



“Let us never speak of this again.”

“Agreed.”

“At least we’re in your room, Tia. If this got outside these walls...”

“Mmmm, strawberry.”

“Strawberry?”

“The walls of my room were made out of strawberry cake. You know, back when everything was cake.”

“Sister, you really have to get control of-” Luna paused as she saw the massive hole in the wall, ringed by bite marks, making the huge crowd of ponies visible from her compromising position. Every pony of the crowd was looking in on them, as if they were at some sort of sporting event. There were even concession ponies selling snacks to the crowd. But worst of all, many ponies were holding cameras, including a professional-looking team with moving picture cameras.

“Luna, why- Oh. Oh dear.”
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