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You saw a 750-word limit and thought, "yes, let's fit an apocalypse into that word count." Bold move, sport! I admire the cut of your jib.
The story does audibly struggle against its limits, admittedly, something real hard to avoid in a format like this. That said, if my immediate reaction is "I want to see more of it," you can't be doing *too* badly, can ya?
I'm not sure I can single out a particular favorite moment 'cause the whole tale feels like a moment in time, which is also its big strength. This thing is dripping with melancholy. Like accidentally taking a look at the last page and realizing that the story's gonna have a sad ending.
The story does audibly struggle against its limits, admittedly, something real hard to avoid in a format like this. That said, if my immediate reaction is "I want to see more of it," you can't be doing *too* badly, can ya?
I'm not sure I can single out a particular favorite moment 'cause the whole tale feels like a moment in time, which is also its big strength. This thing is dripping with melancholy. Like accidentally taking a look at the last page and realizing that the story's gonna have a sad ending.
There's something pleasantly horrific at how understated and gentle Shadow Weaver's torture is, and yet how inescapable and awful it must be for her. Even if she is a huge bitch (bluh bluh), you gotta feel for her when she's been reduced from, as the poet said (boy am I in a quotey mood for this comment!) a looming specter of evil down to a sack of laundry going under the car.
B-b-b-breakdown!
This was indeed as literal an interpretation of the prompt as I could. It all started with an image taken from a nightmare I had--a tooth breaking in my mouth and swallowing parts of it, inspired by my porcelain implants crumbling a bit as they settled into their final shape. Originally, the story opened post-battle with Glimmer having suffered a hit to the mouth that broke a tooth, but that didn't feel compelling enough. And so I decided to take a cue from the nightmare I had and make it like a nightmare.
As to why "everybody is on crazy drugs in the jungle" is The Thing Tha Happun, that was probably tickles of Jacob's Ladder in the back of my head. The drug's named DROSTE to show that the victims are trapped in an endless repeating cycle of images. (Also why Catra goes from "two days left" to "three." She's perpetually caught in a present with no past or future.) That said, future drafts are probably gonna expand a little bit to better illustrate the repetition they're caught in.
Alternate titles: Catra's Ladder; Unedited Footage of a Cat; This Jungle Has Hordesmen In It.
Originally, this ended with Catra explicitly murdering Scorpia (spoilered for those who don't want to read the gruesome original thing: murdering Scorpia via disembowelment), but besides toning it down as to not upset my new readerswithout building an unearned trust first I felt like giving it a little wiggle room for Scorpia to be okay, if scratched the hell out of.
I've got some plans for updating and slightly expanding this story to post elsewhere, but that's for you to read and me to write.
And for those wondering... the authorial intent is that nobody is hallucinating.
For those who really want to know the process of DROSTE: DROSTE works through some kind of vague super-science nerve acceleration that, theoretically, can reduce or remove fatigue in lieu of sleep or other forms of rest. Unfortunately, Catra and co. have found out that not only does it not work that well, it has horrible side effects: their nerves are slowly burning out entirely, visually manifesting as their eyes (and vision) darkening--thus Entrapta's confusion over how many days it's been--and their teeth rotting from the inside out--thus Entrapta's tooth falling apart in her mouth. And yes, it's also trapping their minds in a perpetual loop from around the middle of the DROSTE effect. It might not've been so bad if Catra didn't keep injecting people with more DROSTE to keep them from falling asleep. Don't blame her--it's the DROSTE talking. And no, none of that is strictly scientifically plausible (IIRC), but it's a science fantasy setting and it's spooky.
This was indeed as literal an interpretation of the prompt as I could. It all started with an image taken from a nightmare I had--a tooth breaking in my mouth and swallowing parts of it, inspired by my porcelain implants crumbling a bit as they settled into their final shape. Originally, the story opened post-battle with Glimmer having suffered a hit to the mouth that broke a tooth, but that didn't feel compelling enough. And so I decided to take a cue from the nightmare I had and make it like a nightmare.
As to why "everybody is on crazy drugs in the jungle" is The Thing Tha Happun, that was probably tickles of Jacob's Ladder in the back of my head. The drug's named DROSTE to show that the victims are trapped in an endless repeating cycle of images. (Also why Catra goes from "two days left" to "three." She's perpetually caught in a present with no past or future.) That said, future drafts are probably gonna expand a little bit to better illustrate the repetition they're caught in.
Alternate titles: Catra's Ladder; Unedited Footage of a Cat; This Jungle Has Hordesmen In It.
Originally, this ended with Catra explicitly murdering Scorpia (spoilered for those who don't want to read the gruesome original thing: murdering Scorpia via disembowelment), but besides toning it down as to not upset my new readers
I've got some plans for updating and slightly expanding this story to post elsewhere, but that's for you to read and me to write.
And for those wondering... the authorial intent is that nobody is hallucinating.
For those who really want to know the process of DROSTE: DROSTE works through some kind of vague super-science nerve acceleration that, theoretically, can reduce or remove fatigue in lieu of sleep or other forms of rest. Unfortunately, Catra and co. have found out that not only does it not work that well, it has horrible side effects: their nerves are slowly burning out entirely, visually manifesting as their eyes (and vision) darkening--thus Entrapta's confusion over how many days it's been--and their teeth rotting from the inside out--thus Entrapta's tooth falling apart in her mouth. And yes, it's also trapping their minds in a perpetual loop from around the middle of the DROSTE effect. It might not've been so bad if Catra didn't keep injecting people with more DROSTE to keep them from falling asleep. Don't blame her--it's the DROSTE talking. And no, none of that is strictly scientifically plausible (IIRC), but it's a science fantasy setting and it's spooky.
Blorp, I wound up sleeping through submission process. For the curious, my submission: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498444/chapters/41215835
Thanks for the commentary and suggestions, everybody! Especially the bit about weak scene transitions, which put to words something I couldn't quite gather myself.
And to answer a question: originally Catra's nose was gonna gush regular ol' blood to show she was having a stroke at trying to remember Scorpia's getup, but I changed it to "a black liquid that was not blood"... more or less to make it creepier and less explicable. So, mission accomplished? Maybe a little too well.
And to answer a question: originally Catra's nose was gonna gush regular ol' blood to show she was having a stroke at trying to remember Scorpia's getup, but I changed it to "a black liquid that was not blood"... more or less to make it creepier and less explicable. So, mission accomplished? Maybe a little too well.