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#20520 ·
· on Resolve's End · >>Pascoite
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! This idea had started to come to me back when FOME was doing his recent villain-centric contest, but at the time, I wasn't sure how to make a full story out of it. Looking back, it might've been too ambitious to think that it could fit all wedged into a minific like this, but oh well. "Cool idea, needs more development," seems to be a common theme throughout these comments, which I totally agree with.

It's nice to have Chrysalis go through her spiel, but I couldn't quite figure what the issue was.

The thought in my head was that Chrysalis, having failed a whole three times in a row to accomplish anything lasting or significant through the villainous ways we've seen from her in canon, realized that things weren't working. She was alone, shattered, demoralized, all that stuff. When she sees that the other changelings have managed to turn things around for them by adapting their methods, she attempts to do the same, less out of an earnest desire to change and more out of a recognition that what she's been doing simply isn't working.

Which probably didn't come through very clearly in the story itself. Will have to have a think on that.

On Maud's side, too, she just listens, but she doesn't help Chrysalis through any of it, suggest a course of action, sympathize with her... barely anything. So what was her purpose in the story?

In all honesty, I picked Maud because the idea of Chrysalis, who literally needs love, coming across one of the least loving ponies around felt tragic and ironic and stuff. Which actually made me think of Limestone first, but then the parallels of Maud being an abnormally antisocial pony and Chrysalis being an abnormally selfish changeling hit and I thought there was a much better chance of a good ending for Chryssie down that road.

But I do agree, Maud doesn't end up doing very much here.

I'm left with a few too many questions about how the mechanics of this change work, given the fact that in canon it's spurred by a conscious, deliberate change of heart. The lampshading in the middle about "the last time I tried" to talk is a good start, but just raises more questions than it answers: what was the epiphany she came to then, and how does she get from there to the bitterness she's at now?

I think my reply to Pascoite covered a bit of this, but to clarify more: "The last time I tried" was meant to refer to Chrysalis' first attempt at going the garishly-colored Thorax route, sharing love, all that stuff. The epiphany that lead to her bitterness was that she just couldn't get it to work for her.

And while it would be very natural for her to have mixed feelings about the situation, a minific doesn't allow you the luxury of nuance.

Yep, definitely seeing that now!

As written, this reads like Maud disagrees with her final statement telling her to leave. I think I get what you were going for, but you may need to overhaul that section to bring the point out more clearly.

Where's a :facehoof: when you need one? Thanks for the catch, I can definitely see how that doesn't read the way I wanted it to!

I really enjoyed reading this comment, because you nailed some of the things I had in mind while writing this story. Especially what you said about her being maybe rotten--the concept that stuck in my head with this story idea was Chrysalis being so bad at loving other people and getting them to love her back naturally that she's simply not capable of sharing love easily the way the rest of the changelings decided to.
#20523 ·
· on Resolve's End
I'm reading what I said and realizing I didn't explain myself very clearly. Yes, I realize that Maud's hardly bereft of love--and I think the story insinuates there's at least a little empathy going on there--which is why I ended up picking her as the other character here. I'd originally thought of Limestone, who I think would have had a much harder time connecting with Chrysalis, but reconsidered to Maud precisely because Maud was the more loving of the two. Sorry for the confusion!

That being said, ooo, I really like some of that. I hadn't thought about how Chrysalis' emotivore status could be used there, but now that you mention it, yeah, that could possibly work fairly well with Maud's stoicism. I'll definitely have to think about how to implement that the next time I come back to this idea.

Thanks for pointing that out!