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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
2000–8000
Omnomnomicon
A circle of books floated overhead in Twilight Sparkle’s new library. The castle seemed to anticipate her needs for a large library and sprouted a complete antechamber and hall with high vaulted ceilings and build-in shelves. Large crystal lamps added ample light to read even the smallest script. The shelves were bare, unfortunately, and Twilight lost most of her beloved books when the Golden Oaks Library burned. In the weeks after she moved into the castle, Twilight made deals for a wide array of new books. She purchased crates and boxes of books at markets, mail order, and bookstores across the kingdom. Now the books were arriving by the cart load and the obsessive princess had to organize them.
The alicorn magically scooted an open box of more books across the floor while simultaneously swinging one of the glowing books down to eye level. “’A Pony’s Guide to Planting Onions,’” Twilight inspected the first book. “Non-fiction. Instructional. Farming. That pile is… over there.” Twilight smiled as she dropped the book into one of several growing piles behind her. Each book sorted was its own small victory.
“Let’s see... ‘A Magician’s Compendium?’ Ooo, I’ll put that in my pile to read later. Next! ‘A Tail of Two Fillies?’ It claims to be a historical fiction – yeah right! Maybe a romance.”
Just as Twilight was about to relocate the “historical” novel, she was hit with a blast of bright, multi-colored streamers and confetti. Twilight jumped and gritted her teeth as her tail unavoidably frazzled. The books previously held aloft with magic fell around her as her concentration broke. Her facial expression fell flat as she kept her annoyance in check. One final book beaned Twilight square on the head. Her eyelid twitched slightly as she greeted her guest, “Hello, Pinkie Pie. How are you?”
The pink pony bounced out from behind Twilight and hugged her tightly. “I’m doing GREAT, Twilight! Did you like my new mini party cannon? I’m so EXCITED about it!”
“Well, it certainly makes a statement, Pinkie.” The explosion had plastered Twilight’s entire left side. Twilight shook slightly to loosen the confetti. Her horn glowed as she removed a particularly sticky blue streamer from her mane.
Pinkie, ever active, darted around the room, picking up and opening random books at hyper speed. “OOO. You got new books! Are there any interesting ones?”
“Oh yes. I’ve sorted through about a fourth of the books in this shipment. I found seven magic books, two about mystical phenomena, and one on obscure sorcerers from the early days of Canterlot –“
“No, Twilight, I said interesting.” Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side as if to fall asleep, immediately grinning at her friend. Most of Twilight’s favorite books would never interest Pinkie.
“I did find some cookbooks earlier, but I didn’t really look at them. They’re over in that corner.” Twilight motioned to a small disheveled, unorganized mound of books in the far corner. The books there were likely to remain abandoned since the alicorn didn’t have much use for cookbooks.
Pinkie Pie danced excitedly in place as she exclaimed, “Can I look? Can I look?”
“Of course.”
Pinkie shot off to the corner. Suddenly she was wearing a modest red striped one piece swimsuit, snorkel mask, and flippers as she dove face first into the books. Twilight pursed her lips and blinked as she watched Pinkie rummage around, almost swimming, with her curly tail sticking out from the pile. The alicorn decided not to question Pinkie’s special brand of magic.
Twilight smiled and turned back to the unsorted books. She sighed, “This could take forever!”
The purple alicorn managed to categorize a few more books before Pinkie popped out from behind her again. “Twilight!” Pinkie Pie squeaked happily, clutching a thick book in her hooves, ignoring her friend’s twinged, startled reaction.
“Y-Yes, Pinkie?” Twilight managed through a forced grin. She still wasn’t used to Pinkie’s ability to appear and disappear at random.
“Can I have this one? It has all kinds of yummy desserts in it!” She opened the book and pointed to a richly colored depiction of a cupcake. Pinkie looked at Twilight with pleading, hungry eyes.
Twilight glanced quickly, thinking it would be easiest to finish her work without Pinkie interrupting. “Sure, sure.”
“Whee! Thank you! Thank you!” The bubbly pink pony placed the book on her head and bounced out the door. “I can’t wait to try some of these recipes! Byeee, Twilight!”
Twilight continued looking through her new book collection, thankful for the momentary silence needed for the task.
“These all look so yummy!” Pinkie Pie slowly turned the pages of the old cookbook. Pinkie barely managed to return to the Sugar Cube Corner before she started looking at the pictures. She set the book down in the fully stocked baker’s kitchen. She smacked her lips and drooled as she literally poured over each page.
“Oooo. Maybe this one! Or this one!”
Pinkie stopped on a page with a chocolate cupcake overflowing with thick, voluminous frosting in pinks and reds. She read the description out loud. “Do you need a cupcake suitable for gatherings that’s to die for? Then look no further than this devilishly decadent dark chocolate and oat cupcake with wickedly, irresistibly sweet frosting. One bite and your party will never eat anything else again.”
Her eyes grew wide. She slowly lowered the book to the kitchen counter and backed two hoof steps away. “Oh my gosh!” She stood with her mouth agape for what seemed like hours in Pinkie time. Pinkie then vanished out of the kitchen in a blur of confetti and sparkles, reappearing moments later wearing a chef’s hat and an apron. “I have to make this cupcake!”
She propped the cookbook against a jar of sugar on the counter. Next she rummaged through the cabinets for mixing bowls, spoons, a whisk, measuring cups, and her favorite spatula, whose name is Fred. Now ready, Pinkie Pie cracked her hooves and neck. Her eyes narrowed in seriousness as she proclaimed, “Let’s do this.”
Pinkie Pie ran her hoof down the page to the recipe’s instructions. She continued reading out loud. “’This recipe yields one gross of cupcakes.’ What? Cupcakes aren’t gross!”
She scratched her head and looked for guidance from Fred the spatula, who sat unassumingly on the counter. “I’m just going to skip that part. We good?”
The spatula replied in a voice that sounded a lot like Pinkie, “We good.”
“Okay then!” Pinkie grinned and kept reading, “This is pretty standard. ‘Mix dry ingredients together and add to cauldron. Then add wet ingredients carefully and stir until combined.’ A cauldron? Okay, standard except the cauldron part. I must be making a bazillion cupcakes!” Her eyes sparkled at the prospect of nearly endless cupcakes.
She knew there was a cauldron somewhere at Sugar Cube Corner, but she couldn’t remember where it was. Pinkie nudged open the door to the front parlor and leaned in. “Mrs. Cake?” Pinkie whispered yet waved wildly to the pony looking at her from behind the counter. “Do you know where the cauldron is?”
“It should be in the broom closet, dear.” Mrs. Cake calmly replied as she handed a bag of candies to a customer pony.
“Thank you!” Pinkie dived back into the kitchen, letting the door swing back and forth behind her.
The enthusiastic pony bounced over to a broom closet and swung the door open. “So, it’s in here somewhere,” Pinkie said assuredly as she tossed out a broom, mop, several buckets, a lone bowling pin, old photo albums, skis, and a bouquet of balloons. She then pulled out Gummy and set him down gently. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she rummaged more until she found it. Pinkie Pie shoved out a heavy iron cauldron covered in spider webs.
She blew off the cobwebs and grabbed a bucket of water and sponge. “Cleaning, cleaning, super shiny and new!” The cauldron sparkled. She gritted her teeth as she pushed and heaved the cauldron with her head across the kitchen. “HHHHNNGH! There! Cauldron – check!”
“Alrighty, what’s next? ’To make sure your cupcakes are to die for, take special care in the act of preparation.’ I always take care when I make desserts,” Pinkie said as she raised her hoof in affirmation.
“’As you start this recipe, ensure that you circle yourself one time.’” Pinkie shrugged and started chasing her tail. “The recipe said circle myself! This is the only way I know how!” Pinkie enjoyed spinning so much she continued to circle herself a few more times.
“Circle myself – check! Oh, little dizzy there, Pinkie,” she giggled as she held her head to steady her wobbly eyes. “This recipe has a sense of humor.”
Pinkie Pie returned to the cookbook. “Next are the wet ingredients, yum! Softened butter, melted dark chocolate, vanilla extract, shortening, thistle milk – wait a minute! Thistle milk isn’t yummy. It must mean two percent milk.”
Pinkie opened the refrigerator to retrieve the ingredients. She checked the icebox put the butter, shortening, and milk on the counter. She placed the butter, which would need time to soften, on the counter. She pulled a large bag of chocolate chunks from the pantry and set it next to the butter. Then she opened one of the overhead cabinets revealing shelf after shelf of spices. She scanned the labels until she located the vanilla extract.
She checked the list of wet ingredients once more. “Aaaand then I need the tears of a unicorn.” Pinkie scratched her head with her hoof, her jaw grinding in slow thought. “Tears… of… a… unicorn…” She pondered.
Pinkie exclaimed “Aha!” and raised her hoof in triumph. She knew where to find the tears of a unicorn. A lightbulb turned on over Pinkie’s head at the same time. She dropped her hoof to her side. “Wat?” She blinked, attempting to wrap her head around how her eureka moment triggered the light.
“Just turning the light on, dear!” Mrs. Cake smiled as she gathered a tray of cookies to take out.
“Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It was you! I thought maybe I’d suddenly developed telekinesis and zappy powers!” Pinkie, barely missing a beat, grabbed the photo albums she found earlier and slipped them into a saddle bag, “I’ll be right back. I need to go get a special ingredient really quick.”
Mrs. Cake looked worriedly at the mess in the kitchen and the pink pony trotting out the door.
She knocked loudly on the door of Carousel Boutique and waited. Pinkie checked the saddlebag at her side to make sure she had everything she needed.
Rarity opened the door and leaned against the frame. “Hello, Pinkie darling! How can I help you today? Come on in!” The fashionista pushed the door ajar and held out her hoof to usher Pinkie inside.
“Well, I was looking through my stuff and found a bunch of photo albums from when we were younger!” Pinkie grinned and tossed her saddlebag on to a nearby table. She shook the photo albums open on to the table. “I thought you might want to use these as inspiration!”
Rarity bit her lip nervously and backed away a step. “O-oh, Pinkie, I don’t think anyone would want to see those.”
“Of course they would! You were always so spiffy!” Pinkie said with a squeak. She sorted through the book until she located the photo she wanted. “Like this one! Our manes were so poofy and awesome! And everything had buttons and bows!” She popped the photo out and shoved it into Rarity’s hooves.
“Pinkie, dear, that was the fashion back then – but, oh, I looked absolutely awful! Terribly horrid.” Already Rarity’s lips quivered.
“How about this one? I think it was later that year. Remember? I made those glitter macaroni necklaces!” Pinkie pushed a photo of herself with Rarity and Fluttershy wearing the noodle necklaces covered in gobs of glitter and oversized sweaters with bows.
“No, I think that particular fashion should stay in the past, Pinkie. Oh, I’d almost forgotten all my fashion faux paus from back then!” Her friend’s eyes welled up with tears.
Pinkie hugged Rarity. “It’s okay, Rarity! We all looked like dorks back then!” Rarity burst out crying and put her face in Pinkie’s shoulder. Pinkie continued to comfort her friend as she slowly brought up a small jar.
“There, there. It’s okay now. You’re such a great designer! Every creative artist has to go through growing phases.” Pinkie nodded knowingly as she consoled Rarity and caught the tears rolling down her cheeks. She hoped Rarity was wearing water proof mascara. She rubbed Rarity’s back and collected more tears.
“Maybe you could use the photos to convince ponies not to relive the old days?” Pinkie capped the jar of unicorn tears and put it back into her saddlebag.
Rarity sniffed as her sobbing slowed. “Yes, that sounds good, Pinkie. Can you leave those photos here? I feel the need for a warming bonfire.”
Pinkie whipped out a book of matches and nodded excitedly.
A tree stump served as an impromptu cookbook stand while Pinkie reread the next part of the cupcake recipe. She licked her lips and waggled her tail in excitement. She would need the standard flour and sugar along with some of Ponyville’s most favorite flavors – flaxseed, oats, rosehip, and dandelions. Most of the ingredients were already back at Sugar Cube Corner, but one ingredient had another special note next to it. The final ingredient Pinkie needed would definitely be at the market.
The Ponyville farmers’ market bustled with activity. The market provided all the staples and regional specialties, making it ideal for regular ponies who cooked simple meals at home all the way to local chefs to restaurateurs from Canterlot. Each stall was decorated with bright awnings and hoof painted signs.
Pinkie usually visited the market once a week to collect supply orders for Sugar Cube Corner, but today was a special occasion. The farmers and vendors warmly waved and greeted Pinkie, and she said hello to everyone in turn.
“Dandelions! Get your fresh dandelions! Hoof-picked this morning!” called a green stallion to passing ponies. He hadn’t sold any dandelions all day.
Pinkie spotted the stall she needed to visit and happily plodded up to the table full of dandelions. “Hi there! Do you have any dandelions?” she asked as she looked across the table.
“Why yes, ma’am, I do have dandelions. Would you like dandelion stems, dandelion leaves, dandelion roots, dandelion seeds, tender young dandelion shoots, or dried dandelion?” He waved his hoof across the spread.
“Do you have any… dandelions picked under a blood moon?” Pinkie questioned unwaveringly.
The vendor’s jaw dropped and brow furrowed as he considered Pinkie’s question. He had every type of dandelion possible but none picked under a blood moon. He had never even heard of a blood moon. Somewhat desperate to make a sale, the stallion stammered, “W-why yes. Yes, I do,” he repeated to convince himself.
“Excellent! I need two bundles of dandelions picked under a blood moon, please.” Pinkie grinned and tossed a few bits to him. He bagged the dandelion bundles and passed them to Pinkie, who tucked them gently into her saddlebag.
“Enjoy…!” The stallion called after her.
“I will, thanks!”
She trotted home, victorious over her ingredient collection skills.
Once back at Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie took the milk and shortening out of the icebox. She grabbed a large mixing bowl and tossed in the softened. She measured out milk, vanilla extract, and shortening. Then she delicately cracked open eggs into the bowl. She whisked the mixture rapidly.
The dry ingredients could be measured directly into the cauldron. Pinkie surveyed the ingredients. She finely chopped the rosehips and dandelion to give the cupcakes a more even texture. Then she slid the chopped flowers, oats, flaxseed, sugar, and flour into the cauldron. She poured some sugar into a separate bowl to make frosting next.
Chocolate was next. Pinkie would need to prepare enough chocolate for the cupcakes and the frosting. Pinkie placed a double boiler on the stove, poured water in the bottom pot, and turned the stove to a low heat. She juggled large chunks of chocolate, landing them in the pan. Spatula Fred nudged the chocolate chunks around as the heat turned the edges of the chocolate to liquid. Pinkie held Fred close and huffed the aromatic, sweet air above the melting chocolate.
Once the chocolate was melted, she poured some into the frosting bowl and the remainder into the cauldron. She scrapped the sides of the pan with Fred and couldn’t resist licking the spatula clean. She poured the wet mixture into the cauldron and stirred furiously. The contents smoothed into a thick, surreal dark brown batter.
“All righty, I have everything the recipe calls for, more or less. ‘After the batter is mixed, circle the cauldron widdershins.’”
“What on Equestria is a widdershins?” Pinkie stroked her chin with her hoof. “I should ask Twilight!”
The piles of books were overwhelming. A new manuscript delivery had left Twilight’s library more cluttered than before. She kept sorting until some categories of books were so vast that the stacks started leaning. Twilight had just emptied another box of books when she was interrupted by a giggling pink mare. Twilight lowered her ears, her teeth gritting hard as she whinged.
“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie blasted, jumping out from behind the startled Twilight. “What does widdershins mean?”
Twilight blinked in thought as she recalled the word’s entry from the dictionary, “It means to go counter clockwise – why do you need to know –“ She turned to look at her friend, but Pinkie was already gone. Twilight looked again and shrugged. It was Pinkie Pie, after all, and what Pinkie Pie did was sometimes a mystery.
The batter was ready. The oven was heated. She approached the cauldron and proceeded to trot counter clockwise and backwards. Pinkie added some tail shaking in for extra flourish.
“Whew. This is the longest it’s ever taken me to make cupcakes. These better be some good cupcakes!”
Pinkie slid out several muffin tins and popped cupcake liners in sparkling pinks and purples. She ladled out enough batter to fill three trays of cupcakes and loaded up the oven.
Pinkie mixed the frosting while she waited for the cupcakes to finish baking. She decided to add sprinkles to the cupcakes even though the recipe didn’t mention any decorations. “A cupcake has to have sprinkles,” Pinkie proclaimed.
The oven dinged and Pinkie zipped over to pull out the cupcakes to cool. The tops of the cupcakes looked full and puffy. The intense smell of these cupcakes made Pinkie drool – even more than a cupcake normally would.
“OH MY GOSH, these smell A-MA-ZING!” Pinkie shrieked. “Okay, Pinkie. Control yourself. They just have to cool and then frosting and then –!” Pinkie smacked her lips in anticipation.
After the cupcakes cooled, which seemed like forever to Pinkie, she managed to control herself and frosted all of the cupcakes. She added an extra thick layer of frosting since it smelled so good. She set the cupcakes down in rows on the table.
“Done!” She squealed with excitement. “I can’t wait any more! I have to try one!”
Pinkie grabbed a cupcake but stopped before she shoved it into her mouth. “Wait a minute… These are missing something.”
She rummaged in the cupboards and returned with shakers full of sprinkles. Pinkie covered every cupcake with a heavy layer of sprinkles.
“There we go! Sprinkles make everything better!”
Pinkie gingerly took a bite of the cupcake, sprinkles falling off everywhere. She chewed, mulling the taste over in her mouth. Suddenly Pinkie snapped and jammed every cupcake on the table one after another into her face.
Pinkie woke up to all her friends looking down at her. She couldn’t move. Her arms, legs, and abdomen were in traction.
“What happened? Why am I here?” Pinkie asked.
“Pinkie, do you remember anything?” Twilight asked. “You’ve been out for days now.”
“I remember… just… just the most amazing, delicious cupcakes in the entire world!”
Twilight yelled, “Are you kidding?! We’re having to rebuild Ponyville again!”
“I never seen a pony fly around town like a magpie on a june bug,” Applejack quipped.
“Fly?! I was flying?! Did I sprout wings?!”
“Err, umm, no… not wings, Pinkie. Those cupcakes you ate gave you an entirely different propellant. Apparently those cupcakes should have killed you! What did you do to make the spell go wrong?”
Pinkie blinked. “Sprinkles make everything better. Can we make more?”
The alicorn magically scooted an open box of more books across the floor while simultaneously swinging one of the glowing books down to eye level. “’A Pony’s Guide to Planting Onions,’” Twilight inspected the first book. “Non-fiction. Instructional. Farming. That pile is… over there.” Twilight smiled as she dropped the book into one of several growing piles behind her. Each book sorted was its own small victory.
“Let’s see... ‘A Magician’s Compendium?’ Ooo, I’ll put that in my pile to read later. Next! ‘A Tail of Two Fillies?’ It claims to be a historical fiction – yeah right! Maybe a romance.”
Just as Twilight was about to relocate the “historical” novel, she was hit with a blast of bright, multi-colored streamers and confetti. Twilight jumped and gritted her teeth as her tail unavoidably frazzled. The books previously held aloft with magic fell around her as her concentration broke. Her facial expression fell flat as she kept her annoyance in check. One final book beaned Twilight square on the head. Her eyelid twitched slightly as she greeted her guest, “Hello, Pinkie Pie. How are you?”
The pink pony bounced out from behind Twilight and hugged her tightly. “I’m doing GREAT, Twilight! Did you like my new mini party cannon? I’m so EXCITED about it!”
“Well, it certainly makes a statement, Pinkie.” The explosion had plastered Twilight’s entire left side. Twilight shook slightly to loosen the confetti. Her horn glowed as she removed a particularly sticky blue streamer from her mane.
Pinkie, ever active, darted around the room, picking up and opening random books at hyper speed. “OOO. You got new books! Are there any interesting ones?”
“Oh yes. I’ve sorted through about a fourth of the books in this shipment. I found seven magic books, two about mystical phenomena, and one on obscure sorcerers from the early days of Canterlot –“
“No, Twilight, I said interesting.” Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side as if to fall asleep, immediately grinning at her friend. Most of Twilight’s favorite books would never interest Pinkie.
“I did find some cookbooks earlier, but I didn’t really look at them. They’re over in that corner.” Twilight motioned to a small disheveled, unorganized mound of books in the far corner. The books there were likely to remain abandoned since the alicorn didn’t have much use for cookbooks.
Pinkie Pie danced excitedly in place as she exclaimed, “Can I look? Can I look?”
“Of course.”
Pinkie shot off to the corner. Suddenly she was wearing a modest red striped one piece swimsuit, snorkel mask, and flippers as she dove face first into the books. Twilight pursed her lips and blinked as she watched Pinkie rummage around, almost swimming, with her curly tail sticking out from the pile. The alicorn decided not to question Pinkie’s special brand of magic.
Twilight smiled and turned back to the unsorted books. She sighed, “This could take forever!”
The purple alicorn managed to categorize a few more books before Pinkie popped out from behind her again. “Twilight!” Pinkie Pie squeaked happily, clutching a thick book in her hooves, ignoring her friend’s twinged, startled reaction.
“Y-Yes, Pinkie?” Twilight managed through a forced grin. She still wasn’t used to Pinkie’s ability to appear and disappear at random.
“Can I have this one? It has all kinds of yummy desserts in it!” She opened the book and pointed to a richly colored depiction of a cupcake. Pinkie looked at Twilight with pleading, hungry eyes.
Twilight glanced quickly, thinking it would be easiest to finish her work without Pinkie interrupting. “Sure, sure.”
“Whee! Thank you! Thank you!” The bubbly pink pony placed the book on her head and bounced out the door. “I can’t wait to try some of these recipes! Byeee, Twilight!”
Twilight continued looking through her new book collection, thankful for the momentary silence needed for the task.
“These all look so yummy!” Pinkie Pie slowly turned the pages of the old cookbook. Pinkie barely managed to return to the Sugar Cube Corner before she started looking at the pictures. She set the book down in the fully stocked baker’s kitchen. She smacked her lips and drooled as she literally poured over each page.
“Oooo. Maybe this one! Or this one!”
Pinkie stopped on a page with a chocolate cupcake overflowing with thick, voluminous frosting in pinks and reds. She read the description out loud. “Do you need a cupcake suitable for gatherings that’s to die for? Then look no further than this devilishly decadent dark chocolate and oat cupcake with wickedly, irresistibly sweet frosting. One bite and your party will never eat anything else again.”
Her eyes grew wide. She slowly lowered the book to the kitchen counter and backed two hoof steps away. “Oh my gosh!” She stood with her mouth agape for what seemed like hours in Pinkie time. Pinkie then vanished out of the kitchen in a blur of confetti and sparkles, reappearing moments later wearing a chef’s hat and an apron. “I have to make this cupcake!”
She propped the cookbook against a jar of sugar on the counter. Next she rummaged through the cabinets for mixing bowls, spoons, a whisk, measuring cups, and her favorite spatula, whose name is Fred. Now ready, Pinkie Pie cracked her hooves and neck. Her eyes narrowed in seriousness as she proclaimed, “Let’s do this.”
Pinkie Pie ran her hoof down the page to the recipe’s instructions. She continued reading out loud. “’This recipe yields one gross of cupcakes.’ What? Cupcakes aren’t gross!”
She scratched her head and looked for guidance from Fred the spatula, who sat unassumingly on the counter. “I’m just going to skip that part. We good?”
The spatula replied in a voice that sounded a lot like Pinkie, “We good.”
“Okay then!” Pinkie grinned and kept reading, “This is pretty standard. ‘Mix dry ingredients together and add to cauldron. Then add wet ingredients carefully and stir until combined.’ A cauldron? Okay, standard except the cauldron part. I must be making a bazillion cupcakes!” Her eyes sparkled at the prospect of nearly endless cupcakes.
She knew there was a cauldron somewhere at Sugar Cube Corner, but she couldn’t remember where it was. Pinkie nudged open the door to the front parlor and leaned in. “Mrs. Cake?” Pinkie whispered yet waved wildly to the pony looking at her from behind the counter. “Do you know where the cauldron is?”
“It should be in the broom closet, dear.” Mrs. Cake calmly replied as she handed a bag of candies to a customer pony.
“Thank you!” Pinkie dived back into the kitchen, letting the door swing back and forth behind her.
The enthusiastic pony bounced over to a broom closet and swung the door open. “So, it’s in here somewhere,” Pinkie said assuredly as she tossed out a broom, mop, several buckets, a lone bowling pin, old photo albums, skis, and a bouquet of balloons. She then pulled out Gummy and set him down gently. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she rummaged more until she found it. Pinkie Pie shoved out a heavy iron cauldron covered in spider webs.
She blew off the cobwebs and grabbed a bucket of water and sponge. “Cleaning, cleaning, super shiny and new!” The cauldron sparkled. She gritted her teeth as she pushed and heaved the cauldron with her head across the kitchen. “HHHHNNGH! There! Cauldron – check!”
“Alrighty, what’s next? ’To make sure your cupcakes are to die for, take special care in the act of preparation.’ I always take care when I make desserts,” Pinkie said as she raised her hoof in affirmation.
“’As you start this recipe, ensure that you circle yourself one time.’” Pinkie shrugged and started chasing her tail. “The recipe said circle myself! This is the only way I know how!” Pinkie enjoyed spinning so much she continued to circle herself a few more times.
“Circle myself – check! Oh, little dizzy there, Pinkie,” she giggled as she held her head to steady her wobbly eyes. “This recipe has a sense of humor.”
Pinkie Pie returned to the cookbook. “Next are the wet ingredients, yum! Softened butter, melted dark chocolate, vanilla extract, shortening, thistle milk – wait a minute! Thistle milk isn’t yummy. It must mean two percent milk.”
Pinkie opened the refrigerator to retrieve the ingredients. She checked the icebox put the butter, shortening, and milk on the counter. She placed the butter, which would need time to soften, on the counter. She pulled a large bag of chocolate chunks from the pantry and set it next to the butter. Then she opened one of the overhead cabinets revealing shelf after shelf of spices. She scanned the labels until she located the vanilla extract.
She checked the list of wet ingredients once more. “Aaaand then I need the tears of a unicorn.” Pinkie scratched her head with her hoof, her jaw grinding in slow thought. “Tears… of… a… unicorn…” She pondered.
Pinkie exclaimed “Aha!” and raised her hoof in triumph. She knew where to find the tears of a unicorn. A lightbulb turned on over Pinkie’s head at the same time. She dropped her hoof to her side. “Wat?” She blinked, attempting to wrap her head around how her eureka moment triggered the light.
“Just turning the light on, dear!” Mrs. Cake smiled as she gathered a tray of cookies to take out.
“Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It was you! I thought maybe I’d suddenly developed telekinesis and zappy powers!” Pinkie, barely missing a beat, grabbed the photo albums she found earlier and slipped them into a saddle bag, “I’ll be right back. I need to go get a special ingredient really quick.”
Mrs. Cake looked worriedly at the mess in the kitchen and the pink pony trotting out the door.
She knocked loudly on the door of Carousel Boutique and waited. Pinkie checked the saddlebag at her side to make sure she had everything she needed.
Rarity opened the door and leaned against the frame. “Hello, Pinkie darling! How can I help you today? Come on in!” The fashionista pushed the door ajar and held out her hoof to usher Pinkie inside.
“Well, I was looking through my stuff and found a bunch of photo albums from when we were younger!” Pinkie grinned and tossed her saddlebag on to a nearby table. She shook the photo albums open on to the table. “I thought you might want to use these as inspiration!”
Rarity bit her lip nervously and backed away a step. “O-oh, Pinkie, I don’t think anyone would want to see those.”
“Of course they would! You were always so spiffy!” Pinkie said with a squeak. She sorted through the book until she located the photo she wanted. “Like this one! Our manes were so poofy and awesome! And everything had buttons and bows!” She popped the photo out and shoved it into Rarity’s hooves.
“Pinkie, dear, that was the fashion back then – but, oh, I looked absolutely awful! Terribly horrid.” Already Rarity’s lips quivered.
“How about this one? I think it was later that year. Remember? I made those glitter macaroni necklaces!” Pinkie pushed a photo of herself with Rarity and Fluttershy wearing the noodle necklaces covered in gobs of glitter and oversized sweaters with bows.
“No, I think that particular fashion should stay in the past, Pinkie. Oh, I’d almost forgotten all my fashion faux paus from back then!” Her friend’s eyes welled up with tears.
Pinkie hugged Rarity. “It’s okay, Rarity! We all looked like dorks back then!” Rarity burst out crying and put her face in Pinkie’s shoulder. Pinkie continued to comfort her friend as she slowly brought up a small jar.
“There, there. It’s okay now. You’re such a great designer! Every creative artist has to go through growing phases.” Pinkie nodded knowingly as she consoled Rarity and caught the tears rolling down her cheeks. She hoped Rarity was wearing water proof mascara. She rubbed Rarity’s back and collected more tears.
“Maybe you could use the photos to convince ponies not to relive the old days?” Pinkie capped the jar of unicorn tears and put it back into her saddlebag.
Rarity sniffed as her sobbing slowed. “Yes, that sounds good, Pinkie. Can you leave those photos here? I feel the need for a warming bonfire.”
Pinkie whipped out a book of matches and nodded excitedly.
A tree stump served as an impromptu cookbook stand while Pinkie reread the next part of the cupcake recipe. She licked her lips and waggled her tail in excitement. She would need the standard flour and sugar along with some of Ponyville’s most favorite flavors – flaxseed, oats, rosehip, and dandelions. Most of the ingredients were already back at Sugar Cube Corner, but one ingredient had another special note next to it. The final ingredient Pinkie needed would definitely be at the market.
The Ponyville farmers’ market bustled with activity. The market provided all the staples and regional specialties, making it ideal for regular ponies who cooked simple meals at home all the way to local chefs to restaurateurs from Canterlot. Each stall was decorated with bright awnings and hoof painted signs.
Pinkie usually visited the market once a week to collect supply orders for Sugar Cube Corner, but today was a special occasion. The farmers and vendors warmly waved and greeted Pinkie, and she said hello to everyone in turn.
“Dandelions! Get your fresh dandelions! Hoof-picked this morning!” called a green stallion to passing ponies. He hadn’t sold any dandelions all day.
Pinkie spotted the stall she needed to visit and happily plodded up to the table full of dandelions. “Hi there! Do you have any dandelions?” she asked as she looked across the table.
“Why yes, ma’am, I do have dandelions. Would you like dandelion stems, dandelion leaves, dandelion roots, dandelion seeds, tender young dandelion shoots, or dried dandelion?” He waved his hoof across the spread.
“Do you have any… dandelions picked under a blood moon?” Pinkie questioned unwaveringly.
The vendor’s jaw dropped and brow furrowed as he considered Pinkie’s question. He had every type of dandelion possible but none picked under a blood moon. He had never even heard of a blood moon. Somewhat desperate to make a sale, the stallion stammered, “W-why yes. Yes, I do,” he repeated to convince himself.
“Excellent! I need two bundles of dandelions picked under a blood moon, please.” Pinkie grinned and tossed a few bits to him. He bagged the dandelion bundles and passed them to Pinkie, who tucked them gently into her saddlebag.
“Enjoy…!” The stallion called after her.
“I will, thanks!”
She trotted home, victorious over her ingredient collection skills.
Once back at Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie took the milk and shortening out of the icebox. She grabbed a large mixing bowl and tossed in the softened. She measured out milk, vanilla extract, and shortening. Then she delicately cracked open eggs into the bowl. She whisked the mixture rapidly.
The dry ingredients could be measured directly into the cauldron. Pinkie surveyed the ingredients. She finely chopped the rosehips and dandelion to give the cupcakes a more even texture. Then she slid the chopped flowers, oats, flaxseed, sugar, and flour into the cauldron. She poured some sugar into a separate bowl to make frosting next.
Chocolate was next. Pinkie would need to prepare enough chocolate for the cupcakes and the frosting. Pinkie placed a double boiler on the stove, poured water in the bottom pot, and turned the stove to a low heat. She juggled large chunks of chocolate, landing them in the pan. Spatula Fred nudged the chocolate chunks around as the heat turned the edges of the chocolate to liquid. Pinkie held Fred close and huffed the aromatic, sweet air above the melting chocolate.
Once the chocolate was melted, she poured some into the frosting bowl and the remainder into the cauldron. She scrapped the sides of the pan with Fred and couldn’t resist licking the spatula clean. She poured the wet mixture into the cauldron and stirred furiously. The contents smoothed into a thick, surreal dark brown batter.
“All righty, I have everything the recipe calls for, more or less. ‘After the batter is mixed, circle the cauldron widdershins.’”
“What on Equestria is a widdershins?” Pinkie stroked her chin with her hoof. “I should ask Twilight!”
The piles of books were overwhelming. A new manuscript delivery had left Twilight’s library more cluttered than before. She kept sorting until some categories of books were so vast that the stacks started leaning. Twilight had just emptied another box of books when she was interrupted by a giggling pink mare. Twilight lowered her ears, her teeth gritting hard as she whinged.
“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie blasted, jumping out from behind the startled Twilight. “What does widdershins mean?”
Twilight blinked in thought as she recalled the word’s entry from the dictionary, “It means to go counter clockwise – why do you need to know –“ She turned to look at her friend, but Pinkie was already gone. Twilight looked again and shrugged. It was Pinkie Pie, after all, and what Pinkie Pie did was sometimes a mystery.
The batter was ready. The oven was heated. She approached the cauldron and proceeded to trot counter clockwise and backwards. Pinkie added some tail shaking in for extra flourish.
“Whew. This is the longest it’s ever taken me to make cupcakes. These better be some good cupcakes!”
Pinkie slid out several muffin tins and popped cupcake liners in sparkling pinks and purples. She ladled out enough batter to fill three trays of cupcakes and loaded up the oven.
Pinkie mixed the frosting while she waited for the cupcakes to finish baking. She decided to add sprinkles to the cupcakes even though the recipe didn’t mention any decorations. “A cupcake has to have sprinkles,” Pinkie proclaimed.
The oven dinged and Pinkie zipped over to pull out the cupcakes to cool. The tops of the cupcakes looked full and puffy. The intense smell of these cupcakes made Pinkie drool – even more than a cupcake normally would.
“OH MY GOSH, these smell A-MA-ZING!” Pinkie shrieked. “Okay, Pinkie. Control yourself. They just have to cool and then frosting and then –!” Pinkie smacked her lips in anticipation.
After the cupcakes cooled, which seemed like forever to Pinkie, she managed to control herself and frosted all of the cupcakes. She added an extra thick layer of frosting since it smelled so good. She set the cupcakes down in rows on the table.
“Done!” She squealed with excitement. “I can’t wait any more! I have to try one!”
Pinkie grabbed a cupcake but stopped before she shoved it into her mouth. “Wait a minute… These are missing something.”
She rummaged in the cupboards and returned with shakers full of sprinkles. Pinkie covered every cupcake with a heavy layer of sprinkles.
“There we go! Sprinkles make everything better!”
Pinkie gingerly took a bite of the cupcake, sprinkles falling off everywhere. She chewed, mulling the taste over in her mouth. Suddenly Pinkie snapped and jammed every cupcake on the table one after another into her face.
Pinkie woke up to all her friends looking down at her. She couldn’t move. Her arms, legs, and abdomen were in traction.
“What happened? Why am I here?” Pinkie asked.
“Pinkie, do you remember anything?” Twilight asked. “You’ve been out for days now.”
“I remember… just… just the most amazing, delicious cupcakes in the entire world!”
Twilight yelled, “Are you kidding?! We’re having to rebuild Ponyville again!”
“I never seen a pony fly around town like a magpie on a june bug,” Applejack quipped.
“Fly?! I was flying?! Did I sprout wings?!”
“Err, umm, no… not wings, Pinkie. Those cupcakes you ate gave you an entirely different propellant. Apparently those cupcakes should have killed you! What did you do to make the spell go wrong?”
Pinkie blinked. “Sprinkles make everything better. Can we make more?”