Breathe in.

His lungs screamed in pain when the overheated air entered, but he inhaled all the same.

Breathe out.

He felt his chest practically cave in when the air escaped, the most logical part of his mind calculating the pressure differences necessary to heat air by themselves.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Open your eyes.



He was in a small, rural grass field, the sun directly over him. Some ponies and griffins could be seen working in the distance, tiling fields or cleaning clothes.

Confused, he went to talk to the closest one, a young white unicorn mare walking with a small dog at her side.

"Excuse me, c-" he extended his hand to touch her shoulder, and was surprised a limb that wasn't his at all. It was far too short to be, almost ridiculously so.

The mare turned her head, having heard him, and then practically jumped to an attacking position. The dog yelped when her hindlegs passed over his head, and then growled at him.

"What-?" he kept looking at his hand, trying to make sense of it "What happened to me?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Go away, you monster!" shouted the mare with an accent he could barely understand "I am not scared of you!"

He was barely aware of the tears on her eyes from the single glance he had given her, instead too distracted by his now mismatched arms.

He was going to ask her something when red-hot pain exploded on his leg, and looking down he saw that the dog had bitten him.

"You-!"



Breathe in.

He inhaled, trying to put some order on his head.

Breathe out.

He exhaled, panic starting to rise on his chest.

Breathe in.

"Where am I? Who are you?"

Breathe out.

Open your eyes.



He was falling. The wind on his ears, and his experience as a researcher, indicated him so. He looked around him in panic, searching for something to grab a hold of.

Then he was grabbed by a purple aura that stopped him dry. All of his knowledge indicated that such a thing would be as bad as completing the fall -what kills is the sudden decrease of speed applied to a body with some rather important pieces just floating in liquid, after all- but he was alive.

"Are you fine?" he turned to look in the direction of the voice and saw a purple alicorn mare "Why didn't you fly?"

It took him a moment to process it. Alicorn.

"Your highness!" he tried to move in the telekinetic aura and make a reverence to no success "I did not mean to interrupt your duties, you need not bother yourself further"

"Discord, what are you talking about?" the mare gave him a quizzical look.



Breathe in.

"Who are you!?"

Breathe out.

"Answer me, you putrefactive piece of inutility!"

Breathe in.
(It will make sense, trust me)
Breathe out.

Open your eyes.


A white unicorn sat near a ridge, practically over the abyss.

He looked at her for a moment, trying to process the situation. Night. It was night now, and the mare was looking at the stars. The mare.

"You!" he pointed an accusing finger "We have grave matters to discuss!"

She turned to him, first shocked and then angered.

"You!" she echoed "You cosmic filth!"

"Me!? Mind your dog, lady!" he pointed at his leg and tried to not think too much on it being a dragon's now "What if the whelp is rabid?" he advanced, venting more anger than he had meant to "Huh? What then?"

"Dog? I don't hav-" she backed off, and before he could do anything she was falling "Luna!" she howled.

He threw himself to the border, trying to catch her, but his arms were too short now.

I didn't mean to kill her, he thought as he saw her fall, legs flailing, just to make her put a leash on the dog. Princess Celestia herself said how important is to do that.

Something kicked him in the nape, and he barely made out a young, blue face sticking her tongue at him. The young pegasus dashed down and caught the unicorn, too young to lift all that weight but old enough to slow down the fall to safe levels.

"You accursed wretch!" screeched the unicorn at him, flailing a hoof in anger.

"You... You crazy dog lady!" he screamed back at her.

He got up to-



Breathe in.

“No! I refuse to-!”

Breathe out.
(Be patient, it'll be clear soon)
Breathe in.
(Just try to not hurt too many)
(Please)
Breathe out.

Open your eyes.



He was in Canterlot, every building reaching the skies. All mares wore silks, but his eyes were drawn by something else altogether.

“Princess Celestia!” he cried out to her, making a reverence to the young alicorn in a carriage “Forgive my imper-”

“Discord!?” he heard someone behind him “You are supposed to be encased in stone!”

He turned and saw a stallion clad in golden leaf armor, holding a spear against him.

“Surrender yourself, NOW!” he shouted at him.

“What? I am sorry, but I t-” he tried to advance to the stallion, but he felt something cold in his belly.

He looked down. A spear was poking into his gut.

He tried to breathe. He couldn't.



Breathe in.

“I can't”

Breathe out.
(You can)
Breathe in.

“I am dying!”

Breathe out.
(You aren't)

Open your eyes.



He was in a forest, under the canopy. Birds sung in the distance, and cicadas could be heard in the grass.

He looked at his belly, which wasn't hurt in any way.

He backed off and looked around him, and then at his own body, a mismatched set of pieces. A bat wing and a pegasus one, a dragon and a pony leg.

“What!? What did I do? WHY!?” he screamed at the skies “I just… I just want to understand!”

“Are you fine?” he heard a known voice behind him.

He turned to her.

“Dog lady!” he walked to her, trying to keep the tears in “You have to help me, please! I implore of you”

“What?” the mare gave a step back, shaken by the display.

“I don't know! I was going to ask your princess for help and one of her guards k-killed me, only he didn't!”

“Princess Platinum? Why would she attack you?” the mare walked to him with a worried expression “You jus-”



Breathe in…

---

Celestia charged against him



Luna, still a pegasus, thrust her spear int



Breathe in.
(Stop, please! You don't have to do this)
Breathe out.

“Why do you care!?”



He was in a forest.

“-t need a good cup of tea, come” Celestia turned, gesturing for him to follow.

“No!” he shouted at her.

“Hm?” she turned to him, and her horn lit up when she noticed the claw shooting at her eyes. In a flash, she did a reflex teleport “But-” she tried to talk a few meters away, her horn red hot and mane singed, but he didn't let her finish.

“All of you, ponies, griffin, minotaurs!” he shouted at her “All the same, everyone attacks me!”

“I didn-” she tried, backing off.

“But you will, like everyone!” he advanced “I am tired of it, you hear me! TIRED!”

She ran away, and he felt too tired and heavy to follow.

“I just want to be alone!” he shouted as loudly as he could “Don't you understand!?”

---

He took a deep breath, taking in the peace.

With light steps, a pegasus walked near him, an angry bunny sitting on her head.

“O-oh, I didn't know you were here” Fluttershy started turning around.

“Don't worry, Bluthers”

Fine, relax. No tension. Nothing upsetting the unstable spell matrix affixed to my mind and soul. Breathe.

“The Everfree is public property, right?” he clicked his fingers, making a glass of ice-cold whiskey appear in the floor before her “Just relaaaaaax and feel the groovy waves” he said, moving his arm like waving water over the armrest of the sofa he was in.

“Uhm, I don't like to drink, but thanks”

He nodded slowly. At some point a bubbles pipe appeared on his lips, but he didn't care much.

“Don't worry” he changed it to tea “That's better?”

“T-thanks” she took it warily.

“You don't think I'd put poison, don't you?” he tried to keep the weigh on his belly from rising. Relax. Breathe.

He had found quite quickly that being calm is harder when you care about people.

“N-no!” she rushed to say “But, uhm, puns...”

“Oh. That. Relax, there isn't any” he felt the lead melt away, and just spent a while taking in the calm “Flutters?”

“Hm?” she asked, drinking the tea.

“You know I wouldn't hurt you, right?” he asked, eyes closed “I may make jokes, but I wouldn't do anything dangerous or hurtful to you”

“Yes, I know” she nodded.

He didn't say anything. A few birds sung. A pegasus flew in the sky, barely a dot.

“Discord?”

“What?”

“Thanks”

“Whatever for?”

“For trusting me enough to tell me that”



“This is fascinating!” Twilight scanned the paper sheet in front of her “A spell like this is-”

“Is a pain in the flank” interrupted Discord “I remind you, this has to be kept a secret”

“But-!”

“Do you want more like me?” he interrupted again “Because I certainly don't”

“This is a stable time traveling spell, don't you understand?” she implored “Just a fragment of the knowledge I can extricate could revolutionize Equestria!”

“No, it's a time messing spell, and stable as a pogo stick in a trampoline. It makes no sense even for me, it just makes me jump in a twenty eight years period when it works right, and more than two or three of them in the same period could open time continuum a new one” he said more seriously than he had heard himself talk in a long while “I showed this to you in case it happens to someone else and you have to help me fix it”

Twilight looked at him for a moment, surprised at his seriousness, and then nodded.

“I guess I'll just stash it, then,” she teleported it away “One of the most complex spells I've seen in my life...” she kept nodding slowly “That could change our modern conception of time and time magic...”

Discord held her head still and deadpanned at her.

“No.”



“third moon of the ninth year since Luna's return” said Celestia before he could make sense of it.

“Thanks,” he nodded “Wait... right!” he winked away with a click of his fingers and then returned to her studio, a small box on his grasp “Happy birthday”

She turned to him with a smile and took the box, opening it a few meters away from her face. Once the initial barrage of itching dust wasn't a risk, she took a look at what was inside. Then she blushed.

“Discord!” she chided “This-”

“Come on, dear, appropriate is boring”

“No, I mean...” she paused, searching the right word “We still aren't that way. You know” she avoided his eyes, blushing furiously.

“Oh. Oh!” he winked away the lingerie, blushing himself “I still don't get used to that”

“I've known we'll end together for half a decade,” she managed to say “You don't get to complain about some asynchrony”

“Yeah...” he scratched his crown “...I guess”

---

Discord watched the starry skies.

At some point, a star blinked off, never to lit up again.

He sighed. Someone had once told him that he was eternal, he didn't remember who. It was wrong.

Knowing what he had to do, he lifted his hand with the palm upwards.

“I guess that eternal implies static, and static implies entropic…

A small sphere, not unlike a sun, appeared on his palm. He caressed it, slowly making it rotate faster and faster, until it started to grow and eventually envelop him.

...and entropy...
...It's not what I am about)