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Hell Is Other Ponies · FiM Short Story ·
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Rainbow Dash and the Temple of Doom
"This is going to be — just — awesome!"

Twilight once again lifted her head from Mysteries of the Whinnyonian Civilization, her sigh almost inaudible over the rhythmic clackclackclack of the train as it trundled along the tracks.

"Rainbow, I know you're excited, but I'm just not sure if you're coming for the right reasons."

The other pony gazed out of the window, enthusiasm entirely undimmed. "This is just like in Daring Do and the Temple of —"

"It's great that you enjoy reading so much, but you need to understand that those books are just stories. Professor Finds is one of the leading archaeologists at the Canterlot Academy, and it's a great honor to be invited to his dig. And I'm pleased you showed so much interest. But real archaeology is about careful study, not reckless adventuring."

Twilight flicked several pages back in the book, horn gently glowing, and floated it over to the window under Rainbow's nose. "Look, the Whinnyonians built these huge structures thousands of years ago, but we still don't understand —"

Rainbow pushed the book away, turning to Twilight. "I might read books too, but you're still an egghead." She looked back out of the window, gazing towards the no-doubt treasure-laden hills emerging over the horizon.

Moving the book back over to herself, Twilight sighed once more and rolled her eyes. "I hope you're going to behave yourself. I don't want you bothering Professor Finds."




To use the term "dig" was, perhaps, an understatement: the archaeological site was enormous, with an ornate pyramidal temple at its center, set within a clearing in the dense forest. Several outbuildings had also been excavated, while a cluster of tents lying in one corner of the clearing constituted the camp from which the archaeological team worked. The dense markings covering the temple walls resolved with proximity into intricate carvings, placed there by centuries-old hooves, their meanings opaque to modern eyes.

One unicorn sat below the grand arch that formed the entrance-way, writing symbols onto a notepad as a pegasus hovering above read them out. A stack of open books lying nearby were filled with the same script. Another team were carefully digging away at a rectangular patch of ground next to one of the other buildings, while at the base camp an elderly earth pony squinted critically through her glasses at the collection of artifacts laid out on a table. Professor Finds himself, a slight unicorn with a khaki-colored coat, was overseeing proceedings from the shade of his tent.

"Ah, Twilight Sparkle, so good to see you!" he said genially, nodding his head in recognition. "It's been so long since our introductory lessons, hasn't it? I'm so pleased you could come. And, your friend — Rainbow Dash, yes? I hear you are also quite the budding scholar? Twilight did mention your enthusiasm in your letter, so I could hardly say no."

Twilight looked down at the dusty ground, ears flattening slightly at the comment. "Er, yes, Professor. I'm honored that you invited me to come. I can't wait to hear what you've discovered since your last book!" She glanced at Rainbow, who had already turned her head away towards the temple, and gave her a not-entirely-surreptitious nudge.

"What?" Thus startled, her companion looked back at Finds. "Oh, yeah, thanks. So, do we go into the temple now? It looks so cool! I bet it's full of treasures and traps!"

Shaking his white-flecked mane, the Professor walked over towards a nearby blackboard. "I want to fill you in on all the details of the Whinnyonian people, as we understand them. It is most crucial if we are to understand what we find, and nothing must be disturbed until we have recorded all we can. There is so much to learn even from a small piece of pot if we understand its context." Magically lifting a stick of chalk to the board, he began to write as he began a well-rehearsed lecture. "The Whinnyonians were a society who put great stock in magic and ritual. They believed in..."




Half an hour passed, the Professor progressing through the minutiae of Whinnyonian life and culture as a rapt Twilight avidly scribbled down notes throughout. Rainbow yawned once more, attempting to keep her eyes open as he droned on about the significance of the Ponetta Stone, which was supposedly really great because it meant that something or other. Once again her gaze drifted towards the temple. Maybe the other two wouldn't notice if she slipped away for a few minutes to take a look inside?

Treading lightly, she left the tent and returned to the blazing sunshine outside, blinking at the sudden change. The continual droning of Finds' lecture continued, the Professor apparently so engrossed in his lecture that he hadn't noticed the reduction in his audience, while Twilight had eyes only for the spidery scrawl that repeatedly filled the blackboard. Yes! Now it was going to get good.

The exterior of the temple was now unattended, the pile of books having been collected and presumably returned to one of the tents to be used for further analysis, and so Rainbow found no difficulty in approaching the arch. It seemed even larger close up: five ponies could easily have flown through above her, and ten either side with room to spare.

Stepping inside, the intrepid explorer entered a long, high corridor, progressively more dimly lit as the shard of light coming from the entrance gave way to occasional dim lanterns placed by the expedition team. Her hooves echoed softly with each step on the cool stone, and the air quickly became stale and damp. Further down the corridor, smaller archways suggested accesses deeper into the temple.

Rainbow edged further in, glancing around for anything of interest: archaeologists to avoid, traps to evade, long-lost treasures just waiting to be discovered? Her mind drifted towards the Daring Do books. Perhaps a golden idol in the middle of a pit of spikes, or a magical cup to be won by the brave pony who negotiated tripwires triggering a hail of arrows?

Unfortunately, after several minutes of exploration, no such rewards were forthcoming. Elaborate carvings aside, the interior of the temple had been stripped, presumably by the archaeological team. "Aw, this isn't nearly as cool as I thought," mused Rainbow, taking another corner and into a downward-sloping tunnel.

At the base of the slope, the passage opened out into a large hexagonal chamber. As elsewhere, the walls were covered in carvings, but these were inlaid with gold. Neither had this room's artifacts been removed; tools lay strewn around the ground, and stone statues and pots rested against the walls. Rainbow's gaze, however, was drawn towards a chalice standing on a pedestal atop a dais in the center of the room.

"This is more like it!" She stepped carefully over to the glittering treasure. It appeared to be made of glass with gold patterns traced in intricate patterns around its surface. Once again, she imagined herself following in the hoof-prints of her fictional hero: she'd lift the chalice just like this, and —

With a hissing sound, a thin black mist began to emerge from the pedestal as the chalice was removed, and a voice boomed out words in a long-forgotten language. Rainbow stepped back in fright, dropping the chalice to the floor, and half-ran, half-flew towards the exit. Black shapes, almost pony-like, flickered across the walls in the lantern light. With a shout of terror, the pegasus bolted towards the exit.

Momentarily losing her way down a dead end, she turned back to see the dark shapes again. One brushed against her as she retraced her steps, its cold, semi-solid touch eliciting another shriek. She sped around the last corner out into the light, taking off and flying over to the base camp where she bowled into Finds' tent.

Twilight stared at the panicked pegasus. "Rainbow, where did you —"

"The temple! There's... there's something in there! Ghost monster pony things!"

Twilight shook her head. "Just as I told you before, you're letting your imagination get the better of you. This isn't one of those books, you know. Honestly, if I knew you were going to cause this much bother..."

"No! I saw them! And there was this scary voice!"

With a sigh, Twilight turned back to Finds, who stared quizzically at the recent arrivals. "Sorry, Professor. I'll take her to get some rest." Another nudge, harder than the last, not-so-subtly suggested that her friend should leave, now.

Rainbow raced over to the sleeping tent which had been assigned to them, and immediately huddled in the corner, shaking and staring anxiously at the door-flap. "G-ghosts! I'm telling you!"

"Get some rest, Rainbow. And perhaps you should read something less scary this time..."




Rest was not forthcoming, but Rainbow did manage to regain her composure enough to emerge by the time of the evening meal, cooked by one of the archaeological team's attendants over the camp fire. Upon seeing Twilight, she opened her mouth to speak, but was immediately greeted by a hissed "Calm down and stop causing a fuss". So cautioned, she ate her meal in silence, watching the temple between each mouthful, and then retired to the tent.

Once the meal was over, the remaining party relaxed in front of the fire. Twilight sat next to the Professor. "Thank you again for this wonderful opportunity", she said, "and, once more, I must apologize for the behavior of my friend. I shouldn't have allowed her to come."

Finds shook his head. "It's not your fault, Twilight. You've been an exemplary student. I can't hold you responsible for the actions of other ponies."

A shadow flicked in front of the fire, catching Twilight's eye. "What was that?"

"Hey!"

"Get it off me!"

Cries rang out from the archaeology team as the dark ponies came upon them, some attempting to hold on to legs and wings and drag them off. Twilight stood up and concentrated, and with a blast of energy blew them backwards. A shimmering barrier formed around the group and the adjacent tents, holding the ghostly forms outside.

Finds stumbled to his feet. "What? Who are these other ponies? Did they follow you here? I can assure you, this has never happened before!"

Twilight shook her head and ran over towards the sleeping tent. "Rainbow! You were right about the ghosts! I'm sorry. We need your help!"

"Ghosts?!" exclaimed the intrepid adventurer, immediately running through the back of the tent and attempting to take flight, only to get tangled up in the canvas. "Run! They're going to eat us!"

"Not if we can stop them. Daring Do wouldn't run away from danger, would she?"

Rainbow peeked out from the canvas at her friend. "I... I guess not..."

"So help us! I can't hold this shield for long. You said you saw them before? Where did they come from?"




Gritting her teeth, Rainbow led the others back to the entrance of the temple. She hesitated under the grand arch until, remembering Twilight's words, she once again let herself slip into the role of Daring Do. Finding her voice, she stepped in. "This way."

As the group walked through the temple, the shield around them started to flicker, dark shapes visible just behind them. "I don't mean to hurry you, but this spell is wearing off," noted Twilight as they rounded another corner. Hastened by this news, Rainbow led them down the slope to the room where the chalice had fallen.

"I know it was wrong of me to touch it, but I was so excited," she explained, gesturing towards the artifact. "They appeared just after I lifted it."

Finds walked over to the pedestal, inspecting its carvings. "Hmm it means... 'Sealed spirits of hell, bound here by water'. As I mentioned, ritual played an important part in Whinnyonian civilization, and we may presume this relates to some ritual they performed."

With a soft plink, the shield winked out of existence. The dark figures once again begun to approach the party.

Mind running through her Daring Do books, Rainbow suddenly exclaimed, "It's just like in Daring Do and the Elemental Curse!" Lifting the chalice back onto its dais, she asked, "Does anyone have some water?" A unicorn from the expedition party lifted a flask out of her pack. "Pour it in there!"

As the water hit the chalice, a soft light began to emanate from its glass facets, quickly growing to engulf the room. The shadow ponies faltered and shrunk back, strange whines at the edge of hearing echoing around the chamber, and then started to stretch and dissolve as they were pulled towards the chalice. As they passed through the water, it began to boil, and the ghostly beings continued through into the pedestal. Within seconds, they had gone, and the light dimmed. Soon, the chalice was empty, and all that remained was a fine mist.




The excitement over, the group returned to the base camp. The archaeologists, shaken but intrigued by what they had experienced, chatted animatedly about what this meant for their understanding of the site, interspersed with anxious glances in the direction of the temple. Twilight and Rainbow sat together with Professor Finds.

"Thank you for saving us, Rainbow!" Twilight said, smiling at her friend. "Daring Do would be proud. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"Heheh, thanks," replied a somewhat abashed Rainbow. "It was sort of my fault it happened though.
"
Professor Finds considered this for a moment. "No, no. An inquisitive mind is a marvelous thing. Though, perhaps, you do now understand the need for study before we touch the artifacts..?"

Rainbow nodded. "Yes, Professor." She paused for a moment, then continued, "Although I've also learned that archaeology is just as exciting as I thought!"

Finds nodded enthusiastically, taking this approval entirely at face value; Twilight just rolled her eyes. "I don't think we'll send that one to the Princess, if you don't mind..."
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