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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
Proper Titles
Unlike his fellow guardsponies, Sturdy Shield found he actually enjoyed court marshal duty when the princesses held their monthly balls.
It certainly beat guard duty, which entailed a whole lot of standing by the exits while pretending to look intimidating and watching all the nobles having fun. But as marshal, he got to actually talk to the guests. Sure, all he did was greet everypony and ask for their proper titles so he could announce their arrival to the princesses and other guests. And yes, most of them tended to look down on him as though he were something unpleasant they had the misfortune of accidentally stepping in. But sometimes one would stop to chat with him and some actually seemed legitimately pleased to see him. It always brightened up his night and reminded him that he was doing important work at the castle, even if he wasn’t always recognized for it.
So after he’d had a nice talk with Fancy Pants, he was in pretty good spirits. He turned to wave as Fancy joined the party.
“You’re the court marshal, right?”
Sturdy spun around to resume his proper post, and practically jumped in shock as Twilight Sparkle, Equestria’s newest princess, stood before him. He suddenly found himself uncertain of what to do. Usually the princesses were already inside whenever they held one of these balls so he’d never had the opportunity to announce one before. Did he treat her like any other guest, or were princesses supposed to receive preferential treatment of some sort?
After a brief moment of panic, he managed to remember that she was the Princess of Friendship, and everyone said she was quite nice. There was likely no harm in just treating her like any other guest.
“Er, yes, that’s me!” he blurted, perhaps a little too eagerly. “You know, not many ponies get that right. Hardly anyone calls me ‘court marshal’ nowadays, so I’m kind of impressed!”
“Really?” The princess cocked her head, apparently surprised that not everyone recognized such an archaic term. “But proper titles are so important.”
Sturdy shrugged. He’d long since grown accustomed to less flattering forms of address. “Anyway, may I announce you?”
“Of course! That’s why I’m here.” The princess perked up immediately. “Spike, give him the scroll.”
Sturdy was so preoccupied with the fact that he was having a casual conversation with an actual Equestrian princess that he hadn’t even noticed the small dragon at her side. Which was rather surprising considering he had been panting rather heavily while leaning on a scroll that was easily three times as big as he was. Sturdy briefly wondered how the dragon had even managed to carry it up the long flight of stairs before realizing what exactly what was on the scroll.
He gulped.
“You see,” Twilight went on, noticing neither Spike’s exhaustion nor Sturdy’s dread, “after I became an alicorn, Princess Celestia suggested I update my title. So I decided to make it as accurate as possible since, like I said earlier, proper titles are so important.”
Sturdy nodded nervously.
Twilight continued. “It took months, and I only just finished this morning, but I’m pretty sure I got everything. Still, mind announcing me extra clearly? I want to hear how it sounds so I can make any necessary adjustments.”
Spike gave him an apologetic look as he shoved the massive scroll Sturdy’s way. Trapped, Sturdy cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and began to read.
“Announcing Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, Faithful Student, Ponyville Librarian, Vanquisher of the Eternal Night, Ursa Minor Conqueror, Dragon Waking Expedition Leader, Winter Wrap Up All-Team Organizer, Fifth Place Running of the Leaves Contestant, Pinkie Sense Studier, Hydra Defeater, Trainee Phoenix Veterinarian, Spirit of Chaos Subduer, Royal Elocution Instructor, One Quarter of the Mysterious Mare Do Well, Hearth’s Warming Eve Pagent Actor, Amatuer Cider Maker, Expert Book Recommender, Time Traveller, Cerberus Escorter, Undercover Dragon, Novice Detective, Wedding Planner, Changeling Plot Stopper, Wedding Singer, Saviour of the Crystal Empire, Excess Pinkie Pie Zapper, Magic Duel Champion, Crystal Empire Tour Guide, Transdimensional Traveller, High School Guardian...”
He continued announcing her for what seemed like several hours. When he finally finished, he collapsed on the spot, more out of breath than Spike had been.
“Oh no!” Twilight called out in concern. “You’ll have to start over!”
“What? Why?”
“I forgot to add ‘princess’!”
“And that,” the king said to his newborn daughter, “is the precise moment I decided to overthrow the previous monarchy.”
It certainly beat guard duty, which entailed a whole lot of standing by the exits while pretending to look intimidating and watching all the nobles having fun. But as marshal, he got to actually talk to the guests. Sure, all he did was greet everypony and ask for their proper titles so he could announce their arrival to the princesses and other guests. And yes, most of them tended to look down on him as though he were something unpleasant they had the misfortune of accidentally stepping in. But sometimes one would stop to chat with him and some actually seemed legitimately pleased to see him. It always brightened up his night and reminded him that he was doing important work at the castle, even if he wasn’t always recognized for it.
So after he’d had a nice talk with Fancy Pants, he was in pretty good spirits. He turned to wave as Fancy joined the party.
“You’re the court marshal, right?”
Sturdy spun around to resume his proper post, and practically jumped in shock as Twilight Sparkle, Equestria’s newest princess, stood before him. He suddenly found himself uncertain of what to do. Usually the princesses were already inside whenever they held one of these balls so he’d never had the opportunity to announce one before. Did he treat her like any other guest, or were princesses supposed to receive preferential treatment of some sort?
After a brief moment of panic, he managed to remember that she was the Princess of Friendship, and everyone said she was quite nice. There was likely no harm in just treating her like any other guest.
“Er, yes, that’s me!” he blurted, perhaps a little too eagerly. “You know, not many ponies get that right. Hardly anyone calls me ‘court marshal’ nowadays, so I’m kind of impressed!”
“Really?” The princess cocked her head, apparently surprised that not everyone recognized such an archaic term. “But proper titles are so important.”
Sturdy shrugged. He’d long since grown accustomed to less flattering forms of address. “Anyway, may I announce you?”
“Of course! That’s why I’m here.” The princess perked up immediately. “Spike, give him the scroll.”
Sturdy was so preoccupied with the fact that he was having a casual conversation with an actual Equestrian princess that he hadn’t even noticed the small dragon at her side. Which was rather surprising considering he had been panting rather heavily while leaning on a scroll that was easily three times as big as he was. Sturdy briefly wondered how the dragon had even managed to carry it up the long flight of stairs before realizing what exactly what was on the scroll.
He gulped.
“You see,” Twilight went on, noticing neither Spike’s exhaustion nor Sturdy’s dread, “after I became an alicorn, Princess Celestia suggested I update my title. So I decided to make it as accurate as possible since, like I said earlier, proper titles are so important.”
Sturdy nodded nervously.
Twilight continued. “It took months, and I only just finished this morning, but I’m pretty sure I got everything. Still, mind announcing me extra clearly? I want to hear how it sounds so I can make any necessary adjustments.”
Spike gave him an apologetic look as he shoved the massive scroll Sturdy’s way. Trapped, Sturdy cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and began to read.
“Announcing Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, Faithful Student, Ponyville Librarian, Vanquisher of the Eternal Night, Ursa Minor Conqueror, Dragon Waking Expedition Leader, Winter Wrap Up All-Team Organizer, Fifth Place Running of the Leaves Contestant, Pinkie Sense Studier, Hydra Defeater, Trainee Phoenix Veterinarian, Spirit of Chaos Subduer, Royal Elocution Instructor, One Quarter of the Mysterious Mare Do Well, Hearth’s Warming Eve Pagent Actor, Amatuer Cider Maker, Expert Book Recommender, Time Traveller, Cerberus Escorter, Undercover Dragon, Novice Detective, Wedding Planner, Changeling Plot Stopper, Wedding Singer, Saviour of the Crystal Empire, Excess Pinkie Pie Zapper, Magic Duel Champion, Crystal Empire Tour Guide, Transdimensional Traveller, High School Guardian...”
He continued announcing her for what seemed like several hours. When he finally finished, he collapsed on the spot, more out of breath than Spike had been.
“Oh no!” Twilight called out in concern. “You’ll have to start over!”
“What? Why?”
“I forgot to add ‘princess’!”
“And that,” the king said to his newborn daughter, “is the precise moment I decided to overthrow the previous monarchy.”