“MUFFINS! RAWWWWR!”

“Aaaaand there goes the schoolhouse. Again.” Rainbow Dash sighed, returning her attention to the alleyway where the Elements of Harmony were gathering to deal with Ponyville’s latest disaster.

“Look on the bright side Dashie! Now Scootaloo will have more time to hang out!”” Pinkie suggested.

“Yeah, that’s true. And since it wasn’t the CMCs fault this time, she probably won’t be grounded!”

“Oh my. Twilight, could you please hurry up with that plan?” Fluttershy asked timidly. “If, you know, you don’t mind of course….”

“Just give me a few moments to finish these revisions girls, and we’ll be set!” came the distracted reply as Twilight continued writing. “It’s a good thing I had these plans prepared, or this would take forever!”

Applejack paused and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re telling us you’ve already written up a plan to deal with an enraged, muffin obsessed, thirty foot tall Derpy Hooves?” AJ deadpanned, glancing round the corner at their opponent.

The cheerful, walleyed mailmare was a well-loved figure in Ponyville. Even if she did tend to cause a trail of destruction across town. That was true of her normal, apologetic self. Now that she was thirty feet tall and angry, she was causing almost twice as much damage to Ponyville than usual.

“”No, I’m afraid not.” Twilight replied, causing AJ to relax slightly. “I only had plans for a twenty or forty foot Derpy. So I needed to extrapolate between the two plans and… Tada!” She grinned, lifting her completed paperwork into the air with a flourish.

“Oh dear. Far be it from me to question your organizational skills Twilight, but don’t you think that’s a bit… obsessive?” Rarity asked delicately. “After all, you know what they say: The best laid plans of mice and mares often go awry!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Of course I know that Rarity! That’s why I never use my best laid plans!” Came the slightly smug reply.

The other five mares blinked in unison and stared at each other for a moment, allowing that epiphany to sink in.

Rainbow Dash spoke first.

“Say what?”

“Everypony knows that the best laid plans often go awry. So that’s why I always use second tier plans with minimal preparation!” Twilight grinned proudly. “Statistically speaking, these plans only have a 32.7% chance of going awry, with ‘awry’ being defined by a fairly narrow set of parameters in event space! That’s way less than fifty percent, and therefore well below the threshold for ‘often!’”

“So, we’re intentionally using bad plans?” Rarity was gob-smacked.

“Not bad plans per se! Just poorly laid out ones! ” Twilight corrected with a smile.

“So… Outta curiosity… what would the best laid plan be for this particular situation, Sugarcube?”

Twilight shrugged. “That’s easy. Call in the Royal Guard and summon the staff from the Academy of Mages to contain Derpy and study her condition until they can reverse it. There’s a whole written plan for it. It’s called the ‘Lavender Unicorn Contingency’ for some reason.”

There was another moment of silence.

“And instead of doing that, we’re going to….?” Rainbow asked.

“Distract Derpy with a giant fake muffin filled with thunderclouds, which will shock her to her senses when she bites into it!” Twilight enthused.

“Ooooh! Giant muffins and lightening! I love this plan!” Pinkie clopped her hooves together excitedly while the others just stared.

“Um, Sugarcube, I gotta ask... Does Celestia know you’re using this ‘planning technique’ of yours?”

Twilight just gave Applejack a strange look. “Of course she does! Who do you think I learned it from?”

---

“… and that sums up the ‘Sombra-Cide’ contingency plan, your Highness. With the reappearance of the Crystal Empire, the Royal Equestrian Guard stands ready to do its Duty. Which plan do you wish for us to implement, your Majesty?” General Stoic Stride stood at attention before his sovereign, awaiting her command.

Celestia paused, looking over the maps, timetables, and equipment lists as if giving the matter serious thought.

“These are all very well laid out plans, General.” Celestia complimented with a smile. Then she nodded and reached her decision.

“So let’s send my niece and her new husband to deal with it.” She took a small sip of her tea and nodded again. “If that’s not enough, we’ll just send Twilight along after them.”

Stoic bit back a whimper as literal years of planning and preparation were thrown out the window.

“As you command, your Highness.”

Celestia just smiled serenely and sipped her tea.